List of manly things that men should own Page 6

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  • smoothpete 4 Apr 2008 16:00:54 31,491 posts
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    I'll never forget the day the sink became totally blocked and the U bend exploded rotten filth into my face when I tried to dismantle it
  • w00t 4 Apr 2008 16:00:58 11,078 posts
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    A full beard (or photos of themselves with one).

    Sledgehammer.

    A collection of anecdotes where they flagrantly broke the law with their mates on regular occasion, combined with a stern stare if you ever do anything half as bad.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 16:01:07 3,033 posts
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    Dougs wrote:
    JetSetWilly wrote:
    A few weeks ago I replaced a perished washer in a leaking float valve in my loft. I felt like a fucking hero afterwards, even though it was all done under the expert tutelage of the Collins Complete DIY manual.

    Fuck yeah, my first tap washer was the same.

    I changed a tyre the other week and felt like bloody Rambo.

    sad really.
  • X201 4 Apr 2008 16:01:14 15,266 posts
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    Bill Door wrote:
    Bloke + regular fires= manly

    Yep, but it's got to be a proper blokes fire
    i.e. Initially having not quite enough stuff to burn, so you deliberately go around the garden finding stuff to burn.
  • glaeken 4 Apr 2008 16:03:00 11,142 posts
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    We really need a manly acts boasting thread so that those of us who have done manly things can make you guys feel even more inadequate :)
  • smoothpete 4 Apr 2008 16:03:11 31,491 posts
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    X201 wrote:
    Bill Door wrote:
    Bloke + regular fires= manly

    Yep, but it's got to be a proper blokes fire
    i.e. Initially having not quite enough stuff to burn, so you deliberately go around the garden finding stuff to burn.
    It's also manly if the fire gets slightly out of control and you burn down the fence or a nearby tree
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 16:03:28 70,676 posts
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    I think the sledgehammer one is cool. You should own a lot of tools that you'll never use, that will remain in a toolbox in pristine condition, and should cause puzzled expressions of non-recognition when you move house and start boxing all the crap under the stairs up for removal...

    I have some tools like this. one is a sort of G-Cramp thing with two little wheels on it. Fucked if I know what it was for but it's in tip top condition!
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 16:03:59 70,676 posts
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    You should also own a drill that should be brandished, pistol like, at every given opportunity.
  • Killerbee 4 Apr 2008 16:05:37 5,016 posts
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    One proper manly thing I can claim to own:

    A second fridge. For beer.
  • RubyRed 4 Apr 2008 16:05:41 4,303 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    RubyRed wrote:
    A brown suit circa 1975 with threadbare elbows. It's the only suit in the wardrobe and is a good all-rounder for weddings/funerals/christenings/various other functions.

    This made me laugh - I can tell you work in a Uni :) You must be surrounded by brown suits all day, no?

    Yep. Academics aren't always renowned for their pristeen image. ;)

    Though I was thinking of my dad too. Who, incidentally, owns three sheds. Every time one gets filled up with junk and various kinds of wood, he builds another shed out of the contents of the previous one. He's even built extensions on to the sheds too.
  • w00t 4 Apr 2008 16:05:47 11,078 posts
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    I helped install a bathroom blind the other week. We were both pissed, I was working in centimetres, he was working in inches and it came out perfectly level.

    I worked out that he was 2.54 times more pissed than me.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • w00t 4 Apr 2008 16:06:12 11,078 posts
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    RubyRed wrote:
    Though I was thinking of my dad too. Who, incidentally, owns three sheds. Every time one gets filled up with junk and various kinds of wood, he builds another shed out of the contents of the previous one. He's even built extensions on to the sheds too.
    LEGEND

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • smoothpete 4 Apr 2008 16:06:26 31,491 posts
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    Some pairs of really, really fucking thick scratchy socks
  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 16:08:45 3,033 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    You should also own a drill that should be brandished, pistol like, at every given opportunity.

    Ha! I DO have a drill.










    that my dad gave me....
  • gamingdave 4 Apr 2008 16:08:45 4,216 posts
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    A bar, not actually own a bar/pub, but a well stocked drinks cabinet. In the same vein, a decanter and some proper crystal glasses.

    How about a pair of binoculours (sp?)
  • Lexx87 4 Apr 2008 16:09:14 20,869 posts
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    Shit that gets stuck on the thick jungle of anal hairage

    Speak the truth hussy!

  • JetSetWilly 4 Apr 2008 16:09:52 5,721 posts
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    afghan_jones wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    You should also own a drill that should be brandished, pistol like, at every given opportunity.

    Ha! I DO have a drill.










    that my dad gave me....

    Heh. I bet it's an old Black & Decker. Orange colour.
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 16:10:24 70,676 posts
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    afghan_jones wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    You should also own a drill that should be brandished, pistol like, at every given opportunity.

    Ha! I DO have a drill.










    that my dad gave me....

    Is it camouflaged?

    BillDoor - I've got a little jar full of screws. Virtually every piece of flat-pack I've ever built seems to end up with at least a handful of screws or hooks spare that I seem to think are going to save my bacon one day
  • RubyRed 4 Apr 2008 16:10:42 4,303 posts
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    w00t wrote:
    RubyRed wrote:
    Though I was thinking of my dad too. Who, incidentally, owns three sheds. Every time one gets filled up with junk and various kinds of wood, he builds another shed out of the contents of the previous one. He's even built extensions on to the sheds too.
    LEGEND
    Or chronic hoarder, depending which way you look at it. ;)
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 16:13:14 70,676 posts
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    I also have a drill without a chuck key which I'm somehow convinced I'm going to use one day and shouldn't throw away, and a chuck key for a drill that burnt out but doesn't fit the other drill, similarly convinced that one day it'll be useful.

    I think I'm trying to compete with Ruby's dad...
  • JuanKerr 4 Apr 2008 16:16:09 36,239 posts
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    My girlfriend's mum got me a set of mini-screwdrivers for Christmas. I read that as a desperate attempt to make me more useful around the house. I hasn't worked yet.
  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 16:16:32 3,033 posts
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    Bill Door wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    BillDoor - I've got a little jar full of screws. Virtually every piece of flat-pack I've ever built seems to end up with at least a handful of screws or hooks spare that I seem to think are going to save my bacon one day

    I went to buy some flat headed screws the other day from Homebase. Every single fucking screw instore was counter sunk and no good for what I wanted it for. If only my garage wasn't such a bombsite, I could have found my jar :(

    Homebase = fail.

    Real men go to Wickes.

  • Deleted user 4 April 2008 16:16:43
    Tattoos.

    On yer muscles.
  • Deleted user 4 April 2008 16:17:07
    JuanKerr wrote:
    I hasn't worked yet.

    Freudian slip ?
  • FWB 4 Apr 2008 16:17:58 44,223 posts
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    Bullet or barbed wire tattoos. They're highly original and well 'ard looking.
  • JuanKerr 4 Apr 2008 16:20:40 36,239 posts
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    bdaggers wrote:
    JuanKerr wrote:
    I hasn't worked yet.

    Freudian slip ?

    Ooops!
  • Dynamize 4 Apr 2008 16:21:48 1,672 posts
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    At least two screwdrivers - posi-drive and vanilla varieties.
    Bradawl.
    Hammer and mallet.
    Full set of spanners, even if you'll only ever use the 3/16
    Bowsaw, none of this chainsaw rubbish.
    Roll of plumber's tape.
    Stillson.
    Soldering iron and coil of solder.
    At least two C-clamps.

    That's a good start, but there's always something you'll need for a job that'll mean a trip to Wickes and a receipt you have to hide :)
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 16:23:14 70,676 posts
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    Homebase is a bit wussy compared to Wickes, or a proper builder's yard type place.

    One thing every man should own is a pristeen Haynes manual for a car they no longer own and have never opened beyond the first chapter on how to change brake light bulbs.
  • billythekid 4 Apr 2008 16:24:46 11,103 posts
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    Trolley jack.
    Crash helmet.

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