List of manly things that men should own Page 5

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  • TheSaint 4 Apr 2008 15:43:57 14,199 posts
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    Land

    It's good to have land.
  • nickthegun 4 Apr 2008 15:44:15 58,782 posts
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    My father in law is an engineer. He builds hill climbing cars in his spare and now he is in semi retirement, he restores Bugattis 2 days a week for a bit of pin money.

    He has a workshop with every tool know to man in it and knows how to actually build a house.

    Now we are having his grandchild, he has taken it upon himself to teach me how to do DIY and, to be honest, im a fucking embarrassment.

    He taught me how to put shelves up the other day. He put one up, showed me how to do it and I still managed to get it wonky by about an inch.

    Its a shame I cant take my dads 'if its effort, pay someone to do it' route...

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Dirtbox 4 Apr 2008 15:47:15 77,467 posts
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    Tell the time by glancing at the sun.

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 15:48:22 3,033 posts
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    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.
  • glaeken 4 Apr 2008 15:48:24 11,091 posts
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    Lexx87 wrote:
    Pubes that have never been trimmed

    At last I have scored a point.
  • Stickman 4 Apr 2008 15:49:06 29,657 posts
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    Firstborn son.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • smoothpete 4 Apr 2008 15:49:42 31,331 posts
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    The kitchen tap in our old house was dripping slightly for about a year, I don't know how to fix that kind of thing so I left it. The missus' brother-in-law came over with their family for lunch one sunday. He was there under the sink within the first 10 minutes of arriving, and fixed it in seconds.

    While I cooked dinner.

    THE SHAME
  • Dirtbox 4 Apr 2008 15:50:31 77,467 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    fixed it in seconds.

    While I cooked dinner.

    THE SHAME
    :D

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  • KingOfSpain 4 Apr 2008 15:50:36 5,187 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    My father in law is an engineer. He builds hill climbing cars in his spare and now he is in semi retirement, he restores Bugattis 2 days a week for a bit of pin money.

    He has a workshop with every tool know to man in it and knows how to actually build a house.

    Now we are having his grandchild, he has taken it upon himself to teach me how to do DIY and, to be honest, im a fucking embarrassment.

    He taught me how to put shelves up the other day. He put one up, showed me how to do it and I still managed to get it wonky by about an inch.

    Its a shame I cant take my dads 'if its effort, pay someone to do it' route...

    This is my life except that my dad is a real MAN as well as my woman dad so I can't hide. To make matters worse, my brother works with my dad as a bricky while my girlfriends two sisters are both married to proper DIY-doing, working with their manly hands type of men too. I am such a letdown. Even my sister works on a farm, she is more of a man than I am.

    /is ashamed

  • smoothpete 4 Apr 2008 15:50:51 31,331 posts
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    Dirtbox wrote:
    Tell the time by glancing at the sun.
    Also, that trick where you use your watch and point the hour hand at the sun, then half the distance between something-or-other and something else is south
  • thefilthandthefury 4 Apr 2008 15:50:52 24,951 posts
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    Bill Door wrote:
    afghan_jones wrote:
    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.

    Speak for yourself.

    Although if you don't have an oil drum in your garden for having fires in you may as well join the EG Gay Club.

    I've always wanted to start a fire in an oil drum/US-style trash can.
  • nickthegun 4 Apr 2008 15:51:11 58,782 posts
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    afghan_jones wrote:
    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.

    Its shameful. Every time he comes around he has a list of things to do.

    He got his jigsaw out, whipped the door off and installed us a cat flap in the time it took me to make him a cup of coffee.

    It really dents your sense of manliness.....

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 15:52:08 70,676 posts
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    A compass.

    Not the stabby kind, the navigating kind. No man should leave the house without a compass, preferably in the hilt of a fucking big camouflage commando knife.
  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 15:52:50 3,033 posts
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    Bill Door wrote:
    afghan_jones wrote:
    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.

    Speak for yourself.

    Although if you don't have an oil drum in your garden for having fires in you may as well join the EG Gay Club.

    /joins
  • RubyRed 4 Apr 2008 15:53:06 4,303 posts
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    Being able to reel off names of constellations.
  • TheSaint 4 Apr 2008 15:53:19 14,199 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    afghan_jones wrote:
    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.

    Its shameful. Every time he comes around he has a list of things to do.

    He got his jigsaw out, whipped the door off and installed us a cat flap in the time it took me to make him a cup of coffee.

    It really dents your sense of manliness.....

    Having a cat does that to you.
  • thefilthandthefury 4 Apr 2008 15:53:34 24,951 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    A compass.

    Not the stabby kind, the navigating kind. No man should leave the house without a compass, preferably in the hilt of a fucking big camouflage commando knife.

    My dad has got a ridiculous knife like Rambo actually. I think it's from when he was in the navy.

    Sadly it contains no compass :(
  • JetSetWilly 4 Apr 2008 15:53:34 5,721 posts
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    A small kerosene heater to keep the greenhouse warm.
  • Dougs 4 Apr 2008 15:53:43 66,642 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    My father in law is an engineer. He builds hill climbing cars in his spare and now he is in semi retirement, he restores Bugattis 2 days a week for a bit of pin money.

    He has a workshop with every tool know to man in it and knows how to actually build a house.

    Now we are having his grandchild, he has taken it upon himself to teach me how to do DIY and, to be honest, im a fucking embarrassment.

    He taught me how to put shelves up the other day. He put one up, showed me how to do it and I still managed to get it wonky by about an inch.

    Its a shame I cant take my dads 'if its effort, pay someone to do it' route...

    Don't, I'm the same. All through my life my old man (plumber by trade, DIY-er extraordinaire) has given me the old "you better earn lots son, as you'll never be able to do it yourself". Thing is, I am rubbish, but if left to get on with it, you learn. When I was a kid, he'd see me making a pigs ear of something and step in, instead of letting me get on with it.

    It's only going to get worse when we move into our own place. He's welcome to come and re-plumb the washing machine position though.
  • chudders 4 Apr 2008 15:54:42 755 posts
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    A bullwhip and a fedora.
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 15:55:49 70,676 posts
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    thefilthandthefury wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    A compass.

    Not the stabby kind, the navigating kind. No man should leave the house without a compass, preferably in the hilt of a fucking big camouflage commando knife.

    My dad has got a ridiculous knife like Rambo actually. I think it's from when he was in the navy.

    Sadly it contains no compass :(

    Then unless he has a magnetic plate in his head that automatically aligns itself with magnetic north, I'm afraid he's made of fail.
  • JetSetWilly 4 Apr 2008 15:56:06 5,721 posts
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    A few weeks ago I replaced a perished washer in a leaking float valve in my loft. I felt like a fucking hero afterwards, even though it was all done under the expert tutelage of the Collins Complete DIY manual.
  • pjmaybe 4 Apr 2008 15:56:23 70,676 posts
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    RubyRed wrote:
    A brown suit circa 1975 with threadbare elbows. It's the only suit in the wardrobe and is a good all-rounder for weddings/funerals/christenings/various other functions.

    This made me laugh - I can tell you work in a Uni :) You must be surrounded by brown suits all day, no?
  • afghan_jones 4 Apr 2008 15:56:37 3,033 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    afghan_jones wrote:
    we are all such a pathetic bunch of 21st centruy metrosexual ponces. its fucking embarassing.

    Its shameful. Every time he comes around he has a list of things to do.

    He got his jigsaw out, whipped the door off and installed us a cat flap in the time it took me to make him a cup of coffee.

    It really dents your sense of manliness.....

    thats the worst bit when you have to stand around like a useless bastard while they fix something for you in your own home.

    you cant just wander off and watch TV or soomething cause thats not fair so you just loiter about giving them cups of tea and shuffling back and forth at the bottom of the stepladder handing them the wrong screwdriver and feeling like a useless plum
  • JuanKerr 4 Apr 2008 15:56:42 36,192 posts
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    This thread is depressing me because I'm about as useless as the rest of you. My dad used to build motorway bridges and spent most of his life as a carpenter, so he's hard as nails. I'm a fucking pen pusher who stares at a monitor and presses F5 all day.

    That's it - I'm joining this to make myself feel more manly.

  • Dougs 4 Apr 2008 15:58:06 66,642 posts
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    JetSetWilly wrote:
    A few weeks ago I replaced a perished washer in a leaking float valve in my loft. I felt like a fucking hero afterwards, even though it was all done under the expert tutelage of the Collins Complete DIY manual.

    Fuck yeah, my first tap washer was the same.
  • thefilthandthefury 4 Apr 2008 15:59:04 24,951 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    thefilthandthefury wrote:
    pjmaybe wrote:
    A compass.

    Not the stabby kind, the navigating kind. No man should leave the house without a compass, preferably in the hilt of a fucking big camouflage commando knife.

    My dad has got a ridiculous knife like Rambo actually. I think it's from when he was in the navy.

    Sadly it contains no compass :(

    Then unless he has a magnetic plate in his head that automatically aligns itself with magnetic north, I'm afraid he's made of fail.

    Well I've never seen him look at a map and he never gets lost so this is possible!

    Always seems to know where he's going, even if he's about eight hours from the house.
  • deem 4 Apr 2008 15:59:53 31,641 posts
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    Wife.
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