most embarrassing thing you have ever done at work Page 7

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  • Deleted user 19 January 2012 11:23:32
    MetalDog wrote:
    Not at work, but since I was commuting, I'm going to count it.

    Last night I fell asleep on the train - perfectly usual behaviour for me - only this time, when I woke up, I thought I was in my room at home and I thought the person sitting next to me was an intruder, so I woke up startling all over the place and made an odd sort of 'Bwhuaw!" noise at her - which was widely noticed =/

    I spent the next four stops pretending not to exist.
    LOL! Thanks MD.. I got tears from laughing at this :)
  • Tuffty 19 Jan 2012 14:38:34 1,392 posts
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    Just happened to me. Was invited into a conference call but got on pretty late, didn't even have a headset to connect to my laptop so had to ask around to find one, holding up the call. Then I got one, connected it and found I wasn't hearing the call. It went on ahead and I had to interrupt saying there was a problem with the headset and couldn't hear. Except the problem wasn't with the headset, I had put in the jacks in the wrong ports so microphone was where audio should be and vice versa.

    And I claim to work in IT. :(
  • Rusty_M 17 Aug 2012 18:43:05 4,351 posts
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    Today could mark my place in this thread:

    I'd just been to the toilet, and decided to check my phone immediately after flushing. Unfortunately, the phone caught on my work ID, which fell out of my pocket into the swirling water.

    I attempted to retrieve it, but could only grab it with my fingertips and lost my grip. I had to sheepishly find out how to obtain a replacement. Not only did I have to explain to people what had happened, I also had the pleasure of being elbow-deep in a toilet I'd recently pissed in.

    Thank fuck for anti-bacterial soap.

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • cheeky_prawnking 17 Aug 2012 18:49:55 3,798 posts
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    Pretty sure I got caught wanking once. But given given the amount of times I have I can live with it.
  • Deleted user 17 August 2012 18:50:41
    Serving a pretty hot girl condoms. we have them behind the counter, but they used to be in trays, so you just picked out a packet. But no they changed the boxes didn't they to towers, where you pull a box out of it, and the next one drops down. but i didn't know this. or realise this. As i was going back up the till i thought, heck this is pretty elaborate packaging for just 3 condoms. So it was awkward enough serving her some jonnies, only to be out done by trying to give her a box of 12. 3 being in each box. so thats 36 condoms i tried to sell her on her holidays.

    She replied after a few awkward exchanges, by saying thats midly optimistic, i ain't planning to be that busy.

    she was rather pretty though.

    Edited by joelstinton at 18:51:24 17-08-2012

    Edited by joelstinton at 18:52:34 17-08-2012
  • Rusty_M 17 Aug 2012 18:55:39 4,351 posts
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    You should have offered to help her get the most out of them!

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • Fake_Blood 17 Aug 2012 19:11:17 3,834 posts
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    I might have kind off accidentally kissed the female CEO of my former company on the cheek when I first met her.
  • Deleted user 17 August 2012 19:14:40
    ha. yeah should have. or perhaps not!

    another one... christ. luckily wasn't me. but sort of invovled. i was on till. and all these girls were laughing. i was like oh shit. and panicked. i checked everywhere and i was all buttoned up. nothing wrong. but more girls came in laughing and i was seriously thinking what the fuck. i was really becomming self conscience.

    This went on for about 10 minutes. and i could not for the live work out what was wrong. Thought they be giggly and just sort of fancy me. And then.

    My supervisor walked in. Bear in mind he is about 60, mid 60's. Bald with a sort of white grey hair round the sides, overweight, and lost most of his teeth. And his nuts where just hanging out. They were MASSIVE. just swinging around. The poor bloke had been out in the foye sweeping, so he must have just been sweeping with his bollocks just hanging out. By this time, i had a que starting to form. What should i do? tell him, or let him find out for himself. He is a top bloke but sometimes a bit ovlivous to everything. People in the que were laughing. Other people couldn't work out why certain people were lauging. More people came in laughing. This could have really got out of hand.

    I had to sort of tell him, with out saying, mate your bollocks are hanging out. Sort it out! Whilst on till, serving people, and making it so they didn;t realise. So i had to sort of mime to him what had happened.

    I don't know, for the life of god, how he is still working there and not reported. thankfully it was in winter, and it was just locals around and a fairly qieut night.

    he is a top bloke though, great guy, but man!

    Edited by joelstinton at 19:16:46 17-08-2012

    Edited by joelstinton at 19:18:24 17-08-2012
  • 1Dgaf 17 Aug 2012 19:25:45 3,775 posts
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    Shown pictures of garden party by boss. His grandmother is wearing dark glasses. 'That's a cool grannie,' I say. 'She's blind'.

    www.hatchetjob.com - more than games. "Seemingly trivial, surprisingly deep"

  • Ka-blamo 17 Aug 2012 19:31:11 7,109 posts
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    1Dgaf wrote:
    Shown pictures of garden party by boss. His grandmother is wearing dark glasses. 'That's a cool grannie,' I say. 'She's blind'.
    Lol, shoulda flipped it back at him "oh so you're saying she can't be cool and blind?"
  • SolidSCB 17 Aug 2012 20:35:33 5,826 posts
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    Mine was working part time at a shitty PPI refund place a few years back on cold calls. We had figured out how to patch ourselves through to other people in the office and every Friday night just before we were to leave, we'd patch ourselves through to other people on calls and sabotage the conversation as they were trying to blag a customer. One such Friday I picked a random bloke's name, patched myself into the call between some guy and a woman and quickly blurted "Wouldn't listen to this bloke love, he's a well known paedo".

    About 10 minutes later, the head of another division walked in and asked me what I found funny about interrupting a call with his wife to tell her he was a paedo. Luckily I was quite good at the job and only got a warning, but fuck me did I want the ground to swallow me up every time I saw him around the building.
  • Deleted user 17 August 2012 20:50:45
    Got the horn.
  • Rens11 17 Aug 2012 20:54:17 1,256 posts
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    another time while working in tesco as a young lad me and the lad sat behind me went on our breaks at the same time. Sat in the cafe for our lunch when he suggests we better go back to our tills as our break was over. Me acting casual said nah it's alrite we've got those 2 fat slags covering our break it's fine. He pipes up yeah that's my mum... so trying to dig myself out of it I say oooooh no not the one on your till the one on mine and he replies yeah that's my mum

    awkward

    Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, hed eat you and everyone you care about!

  • GuiltySpark 17 Aug 2012 20:56:57 6,281 posts
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    Everyone is either related/fucking at Tesco, it's like a box of hamsters.

    Get bent.

  • BillMurray 17 Aug 2012 21:27:36 7,235 posts
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    Apostle wrote:
    Got the horn.
    I was always super paranoid of surprise boners in my job because i had to wear scrubs and i'd have had no chance of hiding that shit but thankfully bloody instruments never gave me a rager.
  • spindle9988 21 Sep 2012 16:18:16 3,371 posts
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    Went into HMV at lunch to grab bordelands 2. I saw a flash t-shirt in there which looked pretty cool so I grabbed that as well. When I came back to the office to try it on I realised in horror that it wasn't The Flash (dc) but a Flash Gordon Queen t-shirt. I was gonna wear it out tonight as well
  • sport 21 Sep 2012 16:19:34 12,046 posts
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    spindle9988 wrote:
    Went into HMV at lunch to grab bordelands 2. I saw a flash t-shirt in there which looked pretty cool so I grabbed that as well. When I came back to the office to try it on I realised in horror that it wasn't The Flash (dc) but a Flash Gordon Queen t-shirt. I was gonna wear it out tonight as well
    I don't see the problem here.
  • spindle9988 21 Sep 2012 16:20:57 3,371 posts
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    I love the Flash. I dont like Flash Gordon
  • sport 21 Sep 2012 16:24:22 12,046 posts
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    spindle9988 wrote:
    I love the Flash. I dont like Flash Gordon
    But it's Flash Gordon.
  • kinky_mong 21 Sep 2012 16:24:47 9,607 posts
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    To be honest I think you'll get more kudos for the Flash Gordon t-shirt in a retro-chic way than a DC Flash one.

    "GORDON'S ALIIIIVE?!"

    I'll never get my Orc looking the same again.

  • Ginger 21 Sep 2012 16:31:03 6,808 posts
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    kinky_mong wrote:
    To be honest I think you'll get more kudos for the Flash Gordon t-shirt in a retro-chic way than a DC Flash one.

    "GORDON'S ALIIIIVE?!"
    I've taught my two year old to say that. It started as a joke and now I can start him off on it at will :D

    London open taekwondo champion

  • spindle9988 21 Sep 2012 16:39:47 3,371 posts
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    We had a bit of a bogey picasso in the office for a while. We have a flat wall next to the urinals which people used to smear their bogies on. The cleaners who were obviously annoyed at this put a notice on the wall asking people to stop smearing their snot on there. At the end of the day I went to use the toilet only to find to my horror (and slight amusement)that someone had picked a winner (crispy green with a hint of blood) and smeared it across the sign.


    More disgusting than embarrassing
  • RedSparrows 21 Sep 2012 16:50:52 20,757 posts
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    Where the fuck do you work? Toddler land? Jesus wept, some people.
  • Ignatius_Cheese Moderator 21 Sep 2012 16:57:54 10,785 posts
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    Not exactly embarrassing but of note: I took a hash cake into work a few years back and proceeded to hand it out around the office, including to my boss (who was at the time a Lt Col in the TA and a Tory councillor).

    Needless to say the effect it had on people was amazing! Most of the older secretaries thought they were having hot flushes and one of the solicitors spent a long time just staring at a piece of paper.

    And none of them cannot claim to have not inhaled, they bloody ingested the stuff by the ton!

    Edited by Ignatius_Cheese at 16:58:30 21-09-2012
  • spindle9988 21 Sep 2012 16:58:51 3,371 posts
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    @Redsparrows

    Believe it or not. It is a very reputable company


    Eurogamer

    not really

    Edited by spindle9988 at 16:59:43 21-09-2012

    Edited by spindle9988 at 17:00:27 21-09-2012
  • Sunno 21 Sep 2012 17:06:07 156 posts
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    I have just returned from the work bathroom where after going number 1 i turned to notice someone had painted a pentagram on the toilet cubicle door in what looked like blood or poo. I wish i was joking.
  • Flying_Pig 21 Sep 2012 17:07:30 10,279 posts
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    Genuine email send round our office today

    Subject: Vandalism - Female Changing Rooms

    All,

    This is a message from the Property Manager on behalf of Property Services.

    It has been recorded for the past 3 days 19-21st September that an individual has been defecating in the female changing rooms on the Lower Ground Floor.

    This disgusting behaviour is an act of vandalism and cannot be tolerated. I have instructed signage to be displayed on the doors to highlight that the area is going to have increased monitoring from today.

    If the vandalism continues then I will not hesitate to shut down the changing rooms until further notice.

    In addition if the person responsible is found then Property Services will push for dismissal for Gross Misconduct.

    I appreciate that the vast majority of you treat the facilities with respect and our colleagues from Cleaning with dignity but I cannot permit this to continue.
    W.T.F!
  • nickthegun 21 Sep 2012 17:07:47 55,866 posts
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    Late but a flash gordon t-shirt will get you more ladies than a the flash t-shirt.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • spindle9988 21 Sep 2012 17:09:50 3,371 posts
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    I am meeting the missus. She will just call me a silly geeky twat as always. (she will probably think I am wearing a t-shirt advertising the cleaning product anyway)
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