#9325398, By beastmaster Rate the last film you watched out of 100

  • beastmaster 27 Jan 2013 18:52:05 11,145 posts
    Seen 4 minutes ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    Blood: The Last Vampire - 4/10

    This American adaptation of the Manga hit promises a lot more than it delivers. Some truly awful GCI doesn't help either.

    A vampire hunter Saya, who hunts down vampires in post WWII Japan, goes undercover in a school on a US airbase to determine which of the students are vampires.

    It doesn't start off too bad. The time and setting of the film make it quite interesting, the action sequences are well choreographed and there's tons of CGI blood.

    However as the film progresses and Saya faces her nemesis it starts going into CGI overload. The action sequences are done in a similar way to Crouching Tiger but the total overload of unconvincing CGI just ruins it.

    Its all very predictable but its not boring. Just kind of below average. Plenty better films of this ilk out there, so it's not worth watching.

    The Season Of The Witch - 2/10

    A film so hilariously awful it's probably worth watching. Another Nicholas Cage film where he's totally outclassed and out-acted by his wig.

    Plot is simple. Take witch from A to B to stop the plague and try not to get eaten by the spawn of Satan. Or something.

    Let's not kid ourselves here, it's all about Cage's wig. It has a breadth of emotion and subtlety that is totally missing from Cage himself and the rest of the film.

    His wig is joined on this pointless quest by Hellboy on his week off. The opening fight scenes which cover the many battles just made me snigger. A very poor Lord Of The Rings rip-off as they count how many victims have fallen over laughing at Cage's wig.

    The final battle sequence between the wig and giant plastic bat have to be seen to be disbelieved. Utter tosh of the highest order. Again a total overload of tragic CGI.

    The film goes have a bit of saving grace in the form of the rather lovely Claire Foy. She's hot.

    The Last Stand - 6.5/10

    Arnie's back in a bit of a disappointing film which is saved from total mediocrity by some directing flair from South Korean director Jee-woon Kim.

    This is Arnie's first headlining film since Terminator 3 way back in 2003. It really shows too. Arnie never was the greatest actor but Arnie looks as though he's struggling to do Arnie. He acting is truly woeful in this. The worst thing is you can really tell he's trying rather than just being naturally awful.

    The rest of the cast is much better. Kim has assembled a decent cast and even Johnny Knoxville is pretty funny. Luis Guzmán is brilliant as always.

    However, you don't go and see Arnie for the acting. You want to see shit blow up, people getting blown away and some one liners from The Austrian Oak. The good news is that the film pretty much delivers on this. The final 30 mins is superb with a fantastic car chase between a Camaro ZL1 and a Corvette ZR1 through a corn field before the final mano e mano showdown. This is largely down to Jee-woon Kim as he's one of the best directors around.

    Flaws aside, it's really good to see Arnie back on the big screen again. He's got terrific screen presence. He'll get better over the next few films so by the time the new Terminator and Conan films hit, he'll be back on top form. A bit slower and creakier but at least he'll be Arnie.

    Zero Dark Thirty - 9/10

    Brilliant film that focuses on the hunt for Osama bin Laden. Like Homeland? You'll love this film then.

    I'd take the opening statement about the story being based on true life accounts with a big pinch of salt. This doesn't matter though as this film is high drama which manages to keep the American jingoism down to a minimum.

    The films been nominated for a number of Oscars including best film, best original screenplay and best actress for Jessica Chastain. I still think Argo is better in the first two categories but I think Jessica Chastain will win for best actress. Her performance is totally mesmerising.

    Anyone who's a bit sensitive though should be warned. It's a film that doesn't shy away from showing torture on what seems like a very realistic level. Jack Bauer would be proud. There's also a scene with the London bus on 7/7 which is really quite powerful and upsetting.

    Yet, if you don't mind this then you're in for a thrilling film. Superb acting, a great script and once the final operation into Pakistan gets underway, it's a tense, gripping affair which will have you on the edge of your seat.

    The Resident Evil films. I'm one of the reasons they keep making them.

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