Yeah I suppose the real root of my discomfort - aside from all those lofty justifications I put forth - is that I am very ambivalent about putting a child into this world. I see a million reasons not to do it - practical, philosophical, personal and whatnot.
But then again, I was once responsible for an abortion. Whilst knowing full well that it was the right decision, I also unexpectedly felt a twinge of pride and paternal feeling towards this life which I had created. Then, completely out of the blue, remorse and guilt at snuffing it out.
Eh, maybe one day I'll definitely want a child. Or maybe another 'accident' will force me to realise that, despite not being ready (is one ever ready?), I actually do want to be a dad.
sirtacos 7,106 posts
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