I want to be in big brother purely to do this. I have said it to my missus for a couple of years. Learn sign language, get in big brother, act mute. After three days, when everyone is asleep at four in the morning, just shout cunt really loud., and then only ever speak to one person.
Then you can rip the water fountain off the wall, throw it through the window and make a dash for freedom.
The other thing I've decided to do is if I ever end up in a nursing home, I'm going to pretend to be mute. I'm not going to say a word to anyone, apart from a single, specific member of staff, and only when there is nobody else around. Just to see how mental I can make them look.