"A sort of red haired freckled woman" doesn't read right.
"Yeah, okay, once or twice I may have got drunk and fucked the apocalypse, let's not dwell on that, shall we?" is an excellent line
"See you in the void"" - I think 'void' was capitalised earlier?
A good turn of phrase throughout which makes it good reading. I'm pretty sure I've read the first few chapters before.
#9271778, By TechnoHippy National Novel Writing Month 2012
TechnoHippy 14,488 posts
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