Nice description at the start
"Tony couldn't bring himself to try head-banging just yet, but over the course of the first hour he gradually nodded his head more and more." - Like it.
Overall it's a nice scene. Although I think you can do a bit more with the atmosphere. Metal clubs tend to be quite noisy
#9220667, By TechnoHippy National Novel Writing Month 2012
TechnoHippy 14,488 posts
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