A friend of mine does that all the bloody time. Winds me right up. You say, "alright?" as in "hello" and they say, "no actually, blah blah blah blah blah". I mean, fine, you're not alright, but can you at least wait until the pleasantries are out of the way before you tell me about it?
Ha! It took me some time to learn the proper answer to that. In the beginning, I used to give honest, detailed answers and it was always embarrassing to realize that the person who asked didn't really care.
Also hate the saying "how are you?" because a) people saying are usually just making smalltalk and have no regards to how you actually are, which leads me on to b) I hate it because it's always followed by "I'm fine and you?"
I know what to say now.