Author Patrick Garratt

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  • UEFA Champions League 2004-2005

    Club football hits the big league. But you already bought FIFA, right?

    Review 22/02/2005 23

  • The Incredibles

    But will it send the littluns into an incredible sulk?

    Review 21/12/2004 29

  • Crash 'n' Burn

    Another surprisingly good arcade racing game. Not what we expected at all.

    Review 30/11/2004 37

  • Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 2: Bush Rescue

    Ty us up. Ty us down.

    Review 23/11/2004 14

  • The Urbz: Sims in the City

    Inspired, technically suave PC blockbuster gets youthalised.

    Review 16/11/2004 24

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age

    EA's first Middle Earth-based RPG. The beards are twitching. Is it a perfectly flighted arrow or a drunk dwarf smacking his head on a pub doorframe?

    Review 10/11/2004 32

  • Samurai Warriors

    Koei takes an ailing horse and beats some life back into it. Just.

    Review 04/11/2004 12

  • Flatout

    A 'hair's breadth' from being legendary, reckons our Pat...

    Review 01/11/2004 70

  • Metal Slug 3

    Aliens, lasers, monkeys and a camel with a machine gun. If it was longer, we'd be settling down together and planning a family.

    Review 28/10/2004 39

  • Shark Tale

    Will Smith, Angelina Jolie and a bucket of fish. You people really are disgusting, you know that?

    Review 19/10/2004 17

  • X-Men Legends

    One-eyed freak and knife fetishist join bald man in effort to save world. And they let children play this, you say...

    Review 12/10/2004 23

  • Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires

    We originally thought it said 'Vampires'. That would've been more interesting.

    Review 05/10/2004 19

  • Def Jam: Fight For New York

    The Iceberg gives us respec', bro. Because we kicked him half to death. Weirdo.

    Review 27/09/2004 153

  • Madden NFL 2005

    Only EA could make a sport you don't understand about men who think pushing people over and shot-gunning 'Bud' is a way of life massively enjoyable. It's Maddening. We kill ourselves.

    Review 21/09/2004 32

  • Catwoman

    Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is put them to sleep, you know. They go to cat heaven. Apart from Catwoman, which will roast in the most virulent fires of hell. Shame. Nice coat.

    Review 06/08/2004 75

  • World War Zero: Ironstorm

    The war's different, but the tactics are the same.

    Review 12/07/2004 23

  • Smash Court Tennis Pro Tournament 2

    Japanese tennis brings hardcore RPG action to the hallowed greens of the All England Club, if you can believe that. New balls, etc.

    Review 15/06/2004 72

  • This Is Football 2004

    Unless you're from Sweden, you probably won't have much cause to celebrate this evening. Still, at least now you can go online and seek revenge!

    Review 31/03/2004 53

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