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Xbox 360 Roundup Review
Xbox 360 Review by Dan Whitehead
Page 3
Monster Jam
- Publisher: Activision
- Developer: Torus Games
From the makers of Dracula Marmalade! Sadly this isn't a game about turning creatures of the night into fruity preserves, but yet another attempt to translate the adolescent allure of trucks with enormous wheels into something worth playing on a console.
It fails.
Apparently based on what passes for a sporting event in America, you must take part in a series of leagues, competing in outdoors races and arena showcases in order to earn the required points to take home a shiny gold-plated Budweiser baseball cap. Or something equally inbred.
In theory, it should be an absolute hoot. All the thrills of a destruction derby, beefed up with the power of mechanical testosterone! These trucks were made for smashing, and that's just what they'll do. But one of these days these trucks are gonna rise up and crush the fragile human bones of the slippery-fingered fool that programmed their handling.
Yes, the trucks handle like remote-controlled cars on a soapy kitchen floor. The slightest twitch on the stick is almost enough to turn the truck through ninety degrees, and there's absolutely no sense of weight behind their manoeuvres. Seeing these supposedly vast powerful machines fidget and jerk past each other would be hilarious, if it weren't so pathetic.
Oh look, I've gone upside down again. FOR NO REASON.
Making matters worse is a bewildering physics model that makes almost any collision potentially disastrous. You can plough through giant iron water towers and trailers loaded with tree trunks and suffer absolutely no negative effect to your speed or direction whatsoever, but then you can hit an invisible acorn buried under a leaf and be flung twenty feet in the air, facing the opposite way when you land. This would be enough to lose many a race, if your opponents weren't simple-minded idiot drones. Provided you can escape the scrum at the start of the race without becoming hopelessly snagged on another vehicle, you can easily cruise through the laps without ever using your boost and still not see another truck.
And if the outdoor levels are bad, the arena sections are worse. Divided between short one-on-one races and freestyle smashing events, the twitchy controls become even more of an issue in this enclosed space. The races, which generally last less than a minute, simply become a question of memorising the twists and turns of the route and repeating it until you win. The freestyle simply involves driving around and around, hitting the same obstacles in different combinations, trying to keep your score multiplier from dropping.
Monster Jam is a terrible racing game, and a laughable attempt at recreating the hefty impact of monster trucks to boot. With zero challenge and aggravating control, I don't think MotorStorm 2 has much to worry about.
4/10
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Comments: 1-26 of 26 in total
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repairmanjack
14/08/08 @ 07:49
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The only thing I need to know about Lost Planet Colonies is if the new servers are busy enough to warrant purchasing this game or if the hardcore players (of which there are many) have stuck with the original?
Also, how many new weapons/maps for the online game, which is really what most people play it for.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 14/08/08 @ 08:49
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muscleblade
14/08/08 @ 08:33
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@repairmanjack
I think its 21 maps. And many hardcore fans of the origininal should have bought this and play it a lot. I Bought Unreal 3 instead though. Even though Unreal 3 is good i think i bought the wrong game tbh. Dont have time for Colonies now. |
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@repairmanjack,
i told you all that stuff in the lost planet colonies thread. ^_^ http://www.eurogamer.net/forum_thread_po... its fair to rate the game at 7 tho, but i'm a little biased, i would have said an 8 or 9 (just for the Akrid Hunter mode) |
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I've always had an interest Nascar/Stockcar racing, was hard to watch it here though until the introduction of torrents, and in the last year SkySports showing the races. I really enjoy it. It's definitely a skill in it's own right (Montya has had limited success only) and pretty interesting, and the pit stops are the best of any motorsport.
But the game is utter pants. It doesn't get anywhere close to Nascar Racing 2003 season, or ARCA Sim Racing. I know it's not supposed to be a sim, which is fair enough. But if it's going to be arcade it needs to be a bit OTT. More large crashes and less caution laps. |
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Why do people cite the Lego games as well-designed childrens games? When a lot of long-time-gaming adults get frustrated by the worst camera in a game ever (even worse than Sonic 360), why would children enjoy repeatedly falling to their death through no fault of their own? I still stand by my claim that Meet The Robinsons is the best licensed kids game ever.
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Dan is right y'know - with Ratatouille and Wall-E Pixar have overseen (surely they had some input/control?) two of the poorest games I have ever played.
Maybe there is some kind of subtext to their quality-control: "hey kids, video-games are bad (take a look at these!!) go and watch movies instead". Played thorugh the Wall-E demo to see if my kids would get on with it. Suffice to say after much foul and abusive language (mine) and a utterly mundane set of levels (the game) it was deleted before they'd had chance to see it. |
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repairmanjack
14/08/08 @ 11:16
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@muscleblade - thanks for that
@DcP...numbers...UK - you did. But I also think it's the job of someone being paid to review the thing to mention it. Is the online community thriving or not? |
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I found Ratatouille perfectly acceptable, although it has to be said I only saw the two first levels. The part where you're escaping from a threat running into the camera may have been broken, but the rest I found sympathetic and charmy.
Furthermore, the fact that the monster trucks in that Monster Jam game don't behave like real trucks is more or less irrelevant. They didn't in Excite Truck either, and that was one of the best games of 2007. So, to my mind, it would have been better if the writer instead chose to go straight to the heart of the matter here: are the mechanics rewarding or not? Example of unnecessary and unfunny text: "These trucks were made for smashing, and that's just what they'll do. But one of these days these trucks are gonna rise up and crush the fragile human bones of the slippery-fingered fool that programmed their handling." Example of what seems to be an argument, but isn't really: "Making matters worse is a bewildering physics model that makes almost any collision potentially disastrous. You can plough through giant iron water towers and trailers loaded with tree trunks and suffer absolutely no negative effect to your speed or direction whatsoever." Question here is: Are those items marked as destructible or not? Whether or not the rules of the game don't adhere to our real world's rules aren't particularly interesting when discussing arcade games. I can see that page 4 gets is point across somewhat successfully, I'd just wish you got to the point and were able to elaborate a bit more on the mechanics and core, instead of "hilariously" proclaiming that something is shit in creative ways. Take your readers seriously. I was interested in this game, and the more in-depth you are about it, the easier is it for me to take you seriously.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 14/08/08 @ 12:27
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DanWhitehead
14/08/08 @ 12:04
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"Making matters worse is a bewildering physics model that makes almost any collision potentially disastrous. You can plough through giant iron water towers and trailers loaded with tree trunks and suffer absolutely no negative effect to your speed or direction whatsoever."
Question here is: Are those items marked as destructible or not? Whether or not the rules of the game don't adhere to our real world's rules aren't particularly interesting when discussing arcade games. You missed out the rest of that section. The criticism isn't that you can drive through giant items without losing speed, but that you can then be flipped upside down in the air by tiny debris. It's not the realism, it's the consistency. |
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andromeda: Just trying to be constructive.
Edit: Although it may have been overly negative, I'll give you that much. Just frustrated by the way some games seem to be taken less seriously than others, and instead become object to a tiring and boring kind of look-how-bad-it-is-haha-humour.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 14/08/08 @ 13:43
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Example of unnecessary and unfunny text:
"These trucks were made for smashing, and that's just what they'll do. But one of these days these trucks are gonna rise up and crush the fragile human bones of the slippery-fingered fool that programmed their handling." how is this not funny? i really liked the tongue-in-cheek style of those mini-reviews. |
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convercide
15/08/08 @ 04:01
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Burst Limit is NOT a 7/10.
It's a 4/10 easily. Less playable characters than the Budokai/Tenkaichi series and shitter move sets. |
Comments: 1-26 of 26 in total
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