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XBLA: Battlezone and Rocky & Bullwinkle Review

Xbox 360 Review by Dan Whitehead

16 April, 2008

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Rocky & Bullwinkle

  • Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
  • Price: 800 Microsoft Points (GBP 6.80 / EUR 9.60)

As well as bashing my fingers on a keyboard until words about games come out, I've also spent much of my working life looking after character licences for a variety of magazine and book publishers. This is why I once found myself spending half an hour at a trade fair talking to a woman who was very insistent that Batfink was going to make a major comeback, with a new TV series and even a movie. That was about five years ago and, needless to say, it never happened.

This rather random recollection came back to me as I pondered just how and why the largely forgotten Rocky & Bullwinkle had managed to find their way onto Xbox Live Arcade, an occurrence that seems as likely as that blue anteater from The Pink Panther getting his own game.

It's a mini-game compilation, unsurprisingly, although this one works better than most of its peers simply because it adheres so tenaciously to the proven WarioWare template of bite-sized tests of coordination, observation and reaction. It even adds a few wrinkles of its own, though few of them make much difference.

The game is broken up into seven "shows", each based around a different character from the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons. Playing through each show unlocks new games as well as the next show in the list, along with score-boosting bonus items that can be purchased using the cereal box-tops that make up the in-game currency.

'XBLA: Battlezone and Rocky & Bullwinkle' Screenshot 1

Is it just me, or does Bullwinkle sound really rude?

Such titles sink or swim based on the amusement potential of their games though, and it's here that the moose and squirrel flounder slightly. While the selection of games on offer prove more enjoyable than some of the other WarioWare knock-offs cluttering up the handhelds, they're still marred by a clumsy execution that makes you appreciate just how cleverly designed those miniature Wario games really are. Some of these are simplistic, rather than simple, requiring basic inputs that are no challenge regardless of what level you play them on. Others are tripped up by controls that are either too sluggish or too slippery - this is especially true of the games that try to mimic the actions of the DS stylus, but end up skittering all over the screen thanks to the joystick controls.

And then there are the games where you're still not entirely sure what you're supposed to do, even after four or five failed attempts. Many of the games involving timing fall foul of this, with no margin for error and very fussy responses. Twenty-five of the games can also be controlled using the Live Vision camera, but this is pretty disastrous. The camera is horribly incapable of recognising the movements required, leaving you flailing like a loon for no apparent benefit. Switch off the camera and these games can still be played with the joypad - where they prove hilariously easy. None of the games have that infectious immediacy that Nintendo seems to achieve so effortlessly, nor so they ever make you laugh out loud at the sheer absurdity of the tasks before you.

Nudging the 150MB filesize limit, Rocky & Bullwinkle certainly doesn't skimp on the content - although too many games are repeated in each session - and the support for up to twelve players is generous even for a party game. The visuals are rather fun, mixing up lots of cartoon clips with a retro 2D paper-cutout animation style, but as a whole the game feels undercooked, unpolished and ultimately unsatisfying. I suspect it'll provide the minimum level of fun when played in a social setting, but one play will be more than enough for most participants.

5/10

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Comments: 1-28 of 28 in total

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Tejstar
16/04/08 @ 06:17
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No must haves this week then. I'll definitely try the Rocky & Bullwinkle demo though, the visuals intrigue.
L0cky
16/04/08 @ 06:25
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Man, bring us a game with the blue ant eater from the pink panther!
symmetry
16/04/08 @ 06:28
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Bugger.
Rirekon
16/04/08 @ 07:18
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Battlezone, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
muscleblade
16/04/08 @ 07:22
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Battlezone 4/10. A game costing only 400 points should be really bad to get such a low score. Im pretty sure this is too harsh.
Rocky & Bullwinkle 5/10 that score i can trust.
Darren
16/04/08 @ 07:38
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Ouch!

I suppose all the crap that the XBLA gets means that you appreciate the gems more but, to be honest, it doesn't surprise me one iota that both of those games were mediocre. I find only about three or four XBLA games per year are actually worth buying but at least you can try all the games for free; that's something that you cannot do on the PS3 for example.
Kryon
16/04/08 @ 07:44
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EG is so biased, I've played Rocky & Bullwinkle and it's much better than MGS4, trust me!
DUFFKING
16/04/08 @ 08:06
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You're only saying that because you get to play it rather than watch it.

;)
Dizzy
16/04/08 @ 08:10
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How could they have fucked up Battlezone????
bloke
16/04/08 @ 08:19
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"The decent spread of multiplayer modes may keep you playing for a bit longer............"

That's interesting Dan. So - exactly how many of the Multiplayer Modes did you try?
George Roper
16/04/08 @ 08:28
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Haha, good McBain reference on the BZ shot :D
Bulbatron
16/04/08 @ 08:33
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How odd that they mentioned the Pink Panther - albeit indirectly. The night before last I had this dream that I met the Pink Panther while making my way up the escalators leaving a London Underground station. He was evidently on his way down. He kept staring at me with this massive, toothy grin. I had to get away from him because this grin was gradually eating into my mind and driving me insane.
3william56
16/04/08 @ 08:41
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Dude, you got to stop eating cheese so close to bedtime.
GamesConnoisseur
16/04/08 @ 08:48
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/backing slowly away from Bulbatron and this insane room
Britesparc
16/04/08 @ 08:50
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Anyone remember the Battlezone remake for the PC about 12 years ago or something? That was brill, if I recall. They should release that on XBLA.
FmCUK
16/04/08 @ 08:57
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@Britesparc most definitely. That game was awesome. It was like a playable-awesome version of what C&C renegade tried to be, Base/Building Resource Managing RTS plus individual first-person control.
FmCUK
16/04/08 @ 09:00
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Best version of Battlezone; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlezone_...
DAN:SOLO
16/04/08 @ 09:51
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scew this medicore shit when are we getting streetfighter remix and bionic comando?

WHEN??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buztafen
16/04/08 @ 10:18
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Hehe....."THE GOGGLES THEY DO NOTHING"...

Possibly the best quote ever from the Simpsons! GENIUS!

/dammit, someone beat me to it :(
Edited 1 times, most recently on 16/04/08 @ 11:19
BuckoA51
16/04/08 @ 10:18
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The company I work for actually had the licence to the Pink Panther characters a few years back, we made some gambling games with all the characters from the series and I can tell you definitively that the blue fellow is an aardvark not an ant-eater as the always-accurate Wikipedia will tell you :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ant_and...

Shame about Battlezone, I remember it in an arcade, I was so small my dad had to hold me up so I could look inside and at the time it seemed totally amazing. Proper family holidays in those days, in the arcades pockets full of 10p pieces, kids these days with their playing on the beach and all that nonsense.
monkie_king
16/04/08 @ 11:37
#21
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Wasn't there a CGI Rocky and Bullwinkle movie recently? Maybe that's why it has turned up on XBLA?

Oh, IMDB says it was out in 2000. So that's not why.
Mugwum [staff]
16/04/08 @ 11:59
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Hi guys. We've amended the text to change the multiplayer bit about Battlezone. The version reviewed (on the test service, Partnernet) only has one mode and Dan made a mistake. He says the difference wouldn't impact the score.

bloke - will email you shortly.
Lebowski
16/04/08 @ 12:17
#23
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Vaguely remember Crazy Legs Crane and a wisecracking bee-thing.

And after this when can we expect 360 games based around The Biscuits, The Snorks and Dogtanian?

PS - Muskerhounds are always ready.
Yetipants
16/04/08 @ 12:55
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That Batfink comment will surely come back to haunt you later in life, Whitehead. Time's gonna tell on that one.
bloodflowers
16/04/08 @ 12:57
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I want to know how they managed to make Battlezone suffer from slowdown when you fire - just watch it in demo after picking Evolved. The original game used a 1.5mhz CPU. Seems a waste of time to be honest, we could have had Star Wars instead, which is actually still fun.

If they want 3d tank games on XBLA, then Cybersled would be the obvious place to look. It's still never had a really good port.
Retroid [mod]
16/04/08 @ 14:29
#26
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R&B was always going to be shite.

But how dare they do that to my beloved Battlezone :'(
anephric
16/04/08 @ 16:07
#27
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There's a Rocky & Bullwinkle-themed table for Pinball FX that's just been released too.

Character renaissance ahoy. When does the XBLA Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home game drop?
Lebowski
16/04/08 @ 16:57
#28
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"Wait 'til your Father gets - Wait 'til your Father gets - Wait 'til your Father gets home."

And what price a Chorlton and the Wheelies MMO? Or GTA Pigeon Street? I'd car-jack "Long Distance Clara".

Comments: 1-28 of 28 in total

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