Velvet Assassin Comments by Ellie Gibson
Puts the ass into it.
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Poster
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Petulant_Radish
08/05/09 @ 15:40
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Say nudge nudge, or oh er sailor, it makes it much more Kenneth Williams, and therefore infinitely better.
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monkeywithnoeyes
08/05/09 @ 17:52
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good job in calling a bad game when you see one.. and not letting the fact of them recently paying for advertising to sway your review score like nearly all other sites do!
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TheComedian
08/05/09 @ 19:11
-1
'Violette appears to have attended the same finishing school as Lara Croft; she talks with the same plum in her mouth and wears outfits designed to make you want to put your plums in her mouth.'
That is pure genious. The best thing EG has ever done. One of the few times I've lol'd at my computer screen. |
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cyber_nicco
08/05/09 @ 21:55
+1
Very funny review, but what do you have against slutty nighties, Ellie?
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notmyrealname
08/05/09 @ 22:08
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great review:D Reminds me of Martyr, also bug and cliche ridden nazis with wobly gfx, that was a terrible, terrible game:P
BTW 4/10? Why ?? Just give it a wel deserved -1 or something!
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 08/05/09 @ 23:16
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morbidflyer
09/05/09 @ 05:34
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All this talk of nighties and not a single exemplar screen shot. EG, your standards are slipping!
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Somehow this review reminds me of one of my favourite (if not the favourite) Eurogamer's reviews of all time. It deserves to be mentioned:
Heroes of Might & Magic V: Hammers of Fate And no, it's not just the score. :) |
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LewisResolution
09/05/09 @ 22:39
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This is an outstanding review, Ellie. A really good read.
I'm surprised you didn't go into more detail about the completely irrelevant gratuity of the clothing, though. You can see her fucking nipple. It's totally unnecessary, and unrelated to anything.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 09/05/09 @ 23:41
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Petulant_Radish
10/05/09 @ 10:49
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Nipples are normally related to the body, I've got nipples, could you milk me?
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 10/05/09 @ 11:49
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Sigh . . .
Well, I was really looking forward to this game. Very much in an "I'm interested, and hope it turns out to be good" way. I -liked- the sound of a 'morphine mode' game mechanic, and the idea of playing through the memories/nightmares of a graphic novel style version of Violette Szabo. I'm not disputing that some of the gameplay sounds a bit sub-par, but I think I'll still buy it and enjoy it. |
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Christian_Otte
11/05/09 @ 13:16
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Wasn't there some other upcoming WW2 stealth game that actually looked pretty good, or am I thinking of this one?
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Ellie, I really, really like reading your reviews. They are outright hilarious yet still manage to stay genuinely informative. I think that's a skill not many game journalists nowadays have. Your ingenious writing style have always been, for me, the most entertaining on this site. Keep doing what you're doing cause you do it well!!
Signed: Eurogamer reader. |
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+1
After the Tomb Raider review, I will always take Ms Gibson's opinions with a pinch of salt. I enjoyed that game immensely and I am enjoying Velvet Assassin. It's not the best game ever conceived but it does fill that Splinter Cell void. In my opinion this game has been savaged unnecessarily.
Why not give Ellie something meaty to review like Fallout 3? I would be interested to hear her views on a game that isn't easy to squeeze cheap titty laughs from. It must be nice to know you're the comic relief on this website. How does that sit alongside your seemingly feminist viewpoint? x |
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