Two Worlds Comments by Rob Fahey

Hmmmm, will wait for the Oblivion: GotY edition then. One of the guys at work got this and was worried his Elite was starting to break down as the disc spun very noisily and the game seemed to stutter.

I'm guessing it was just the shitty game.

Shit Worlds.

"...whose conversion process to the Xbox 360 has left it staggering around like a former pop princess relaunching her career at a high-profile music awards ceremony."
Fantastic stuff :-D Shame about the game though.

The first thing that will slap you in the face like a sack of rotten crabs...

Comedy gold.

The idea of co-op in a game like this was extremely appealing, but it sounds dreadful. Shame.

Wow, wow, wow. At last a bad games inspires the kind of poetic, lyrical tirade that made me fall in love with EG in the first place, and which has regrettably gone missing recently.

Long live Two Worlds - if it were any good, we wouldn't have this golden review.

Is Poo Worlds coming out on the Wii?

People should buy Gothic 3 instead. Instead of Oblivion as well, for that matter.

I saw this at a store yesterday and was tempted.

Thank god I got Blue Dragon on the cheap instead.

We get 2 pages of extremely-well written and funny text on this shit RPG, and a handful of dreadful and shallow paragraphs on the terrific new Guild Wars expansion? Who is setting the priorities at Eurogamer?

Better than Space Giraffe?

Didnt see that score coming

Like NegativeZero, I nearly picked this up yesterday on a lunchtime whim. Thank goodness I didnt (I think the words online something or other put me off) after reading this review.

However, I like the sound of hurding cats through burning buildings, maybe theres a option there for the developers.

To folk that have played this other than the eloquent reviewer: Is Two Worlds really that bad?

ok i just watched some videos of this on youtube and seriously is the soundtrack ripped straight from emmanuelle?

I just knew Eurogamer would give it a 4, I said as much in the forum thread a couple of days ago!

I can understand why though because Two Worlds is technically incompetent; you really have to dig deep to find the good stuff and that takes a good few hours which is when most people will give up on it. Personally I'm torn between hating it some days (the horrid jerky framerate) and loving it (looting people's home for uber-powerful stuff is always enjoyable) but even with the amateurish production values I'd have to give it a 6, maybe a 7 if I'm generous. Should have been much, much better though as this game is clearly not properly optimised for the Xbox 360.

P.S. The review was funny and very entertaining to read though... ;)

Eurogamer must have reviewed a different game to what im playing right now on my 360. Im hooked on it, the framerate is slightly below par but apart from that its a very enjoyable game. I will be putting up a review on my website soon.

Actually their review is spot on and they did say that it depends on how much you tolerate the technical issues as to how you perceive the quality of the actual game. I believe there's a fairly decent RPG in there and I am mostly enjoying it which is why I'd give it a generous 6 but it really is one of the shonkiest Xbox 360 games to date, I doubt anyone could dispute that.

Looks good, plays shit

Darren in overuse of the words shonky/shonkiest this week... SHOCKER!!!

Well, I'm enjoying it.

I'm going to draw a comparrison to Elite:Frontier, because like Frontier, everything about it is crap. The combat, the interface... yet taken as a whole it can be an enjoyable experience.

So, as a message to fans of 'Gothic' and 'Elder Scrolls (Before they were famous)'... this game is your bag! 'Gamers' should steer clear though.

Quite enjoying this to be honest and I cant really say that the technical issues have bothered me all that much although I agree the interface is tricky to use and the quest log is plain awful.

"you simply resurrect at a nearby shrine with no equipment or XP loss."

A very similar function didnt ruin Bioshock and for me is way better than being forced to reload every time you walk past a bear that doesnt like the look of you.

I think my favourite thing is how everyone has the same voice, so most conversations sound like the rambling of a lunatic.

LOL

Has anyone heard your character singing when it rains yet... honestly it's possibly the most embarassing moment in a game. Ever. EVER!!! I blushed and reached straight for the volume control in case the neighbours heard it, it's that awful. LOL

I think my favourite thing is how everyone has the same voice, so most conversations sound like the rambling of a lunatic.

Oblivion used to wind me up with the way it recycled voice actors and phrases all the time, so if this is worse that that...

Great review btw - despite the advice to stop reading in the opening paragraphs, the simple fact I could tell this was going to be a bloodbath of a review actually made me read on. :)

It does look awfully generic. Oblivion had some more whimsical design.

4/10 is a bit harsh imho, it's certainly a different game from Oblivion, but it's really not that bad. 6/10 sure though.

LOL! Somehow I knew this would happen with this overhyped peesashit.

Peej

Two turds more like

Owch, lower than expected.

I'm surprised you didn't mark it up a few more points just for Alexandra! (imagine Jade Raymond but way hotter).

LOL! Somehow I knew this would happen with this overhyped peesashit.

Peej

Two Worlds was hyped?

I have the PC version and yes, it's not great. 4/10 is a tad too harsh in my opinion, but not by much.

re: Better than Space Giraffe?

We may never know...

I bought this game already and unfortunatly the interface makes me want to kill small puppies.

herding cats through burning buildings.
/steals idea

Coming soon from AcidSnake Software:
FireCats! (not affiliated with Thundercats)

"Has anyone heard your character singing when it rains yet"

Yeah man, I loved that shit!!

At that point of the game,I was totally 'In the zone' with the insane dialogue, and it cracked me up.

I think 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' is the best thing to compare the dialogue to in terms of style. I don't know if it's ALL intentionally funny, but some of it clearly is.

"Forsooth, shut thine trap old man!"

I didn't find the graphics that bad. That score is generous though, this game deserves a 1 or 2.

Great review though!

I'm sure the 360 version has the autosave function.

The 360 is just a bad port. The PC version is a decent enough free-roaming action RPG harking towards Diablo style hack and slash and character tinkering. I'm not sure it was designed as the next Oblivion though, perhaps it was marketed that way - when they thought they could port it over to the 360? I think comparisons to the Gothic games are more relevant than it being squarely held up against Oblivion.

Mind you I am also in the minority who think the character models in Two Worlds look a lot better than the hideous Oblivion mugshots. However, the character creation options in Two Worlds (both versions) are a travesty of freedom. You can slighty change the shape of your eyes and your nose, but theres only 4 hairstyles, and 5 colours of hair. And in the single player game you can't choose a female character.

If this game interests you a little, I'd advise you pick up the PC version, because thats how it should be played, the 360 version will just disappoint, and the low score is mainly reflecting the poor port.

UncleLou - "I have the PC version and yes, it's not great. 4/10 is a tad too harsh in my opinion, but not by much."

It's because you own the PC version that you think it's underrated. Trust me, I've played the PC demo and own the 360 version and the latter is inferior in every way as Two Worlds has clearly not been made with the 360 in mind. The PC version runs better, the graphics look far nicer and the interface works better with a mouse and keyboard (although I found the controls themselves a bit confusing, why did I have to press F to go into weapons mode, why didn't pressing the left mouse button automatically invoke it?). On reflection, I regret that I did not buy this game for my PC instead of the 360...

A score of four would indicate that the game is one point below average. By the sounds of the review it should have scored less.

@spelk - The 360 version doesn't have an auto-save feature, you have to manually save your games.

@DFective - You'll be delighted with the score that X-360 magazine gave the game then: 2/10!!!

i nearly bought this on saturday, ended up buying airbourne. i guess i was always destined to be let down.

So why the generous 4/10 ? The review builds us up to an expected 1/10 at best.

@Rowland - Because underneath the creaky exterior is a reasonably OK game, that's why. It isn't truly awful, just deeply flawed, so if you can put up with those then you CAN enjoy the game. Ideally on the PC though.

It's because you own the PC version that you think it's underrated.

Yes, fair point - I hadn't read the review before my first comment. Makes me think now that it might be overrated, with all the problems, seeing how I wouldn't give even the PC version a lot more than 5/10! :)

Im enjoying this. 4/10 a bit harsh i think. As Chicknstu said i think it depends on how you look at the game :)

"I think it depends on how you look at the game :)"

I used my eyes, and it looks like shit.

The combat ruins the game for me. Poor man's Oblivion. Anyways, it should be illegal for EG to score this 4 and Blue Dragon 5, if this is a 4 Blue Dragon should be a 8.

I liked Gothic 3 with all its faults, and I'm enjoying this (sort of), albeit on the PC (sounds like the 360 version is the poorer of the two).

It is really, really unpolished, though. And the voice acting and script have to be heard to be believed - the opening cut scene had me laughing out loud. My girlfriend was watching as I played - it must have set my efforts to persuade her that games are an evolving art form back around 10 years. Seriously embarrasing.

It took my character about a half hour to even notice that it was raining...

well i like it!