Hello news readers! Come and join us in our fallowed field where we're chewing this week's news crud.
First in our mashing molars has to be Dirty Dancing from Codemasters. But despite obvious images flashing into your head, this will actually be a casual puzzle action game for PC. Bizarre. Still, you could always put your feet up on the Microsoft Surface coffee table touch-screen hybrid and drift into a dreamy state then fawn over Patrick Swayze. He's cool.
But not as ice-cold as street-racing, which we'll be getting in fresh doses thanks to EA's new Need For Speed ProStreet game. It's got photo-real graphics and better physics than gravity, and will be heading to just about every platform so it can dominate the charts for weeks - just like Spider-Man is doing at the moment. Well, it's either that or the new FIFA 08 outing that Tom flew all the way to Canada to get his chops around. But he likes it, which makes his expensive plane journeys worthwhile.
Why-can't-you-have -a-proper-company- name-with-upper- case-letters boss Tod Hollenshead revealed that John Carmack was busy swatting over a new engine for a fresh id Software franchise, but then swiftly put the kibosh on any hope that Castle Wolfenstein would be appearing in 2007 by saying "not this year".
Meanwhile Enemy Territory: Quake Wars popped its head up in a financial report, suggesting it could be with us as soon as late summer, and Activision finally trundled in and stamped "confirmation" on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC versions of Call of Duty 4.
Majesco Europe revealed its first Xbox 360 title Kengo Zero as a samurai fighting adventure featuring some bizarre online auto-play mechanic thing, and another bout of karaoke looks possible as SingStar 90s showed up on an Australian retail site.
All of which is making my brain hurt, something I could obviously remedy by playing the Wii version of Big Brain Academy on 20th July, the very same summer that SEGA insists Virtua Fighter 5 for Xbox 360 is coming out - despite retailers saying otherwise.
Which is a little like Capcom saying otherwise when it looked like we might be seeing Killer 7 on Wii. But apparently it was all down to a mistake on the website don't give me detention my dad will find out please.
Movie watch uncovered a Sims flick in the making, reassurance that the Halo film would generate studio interest, and surprising information that GamesIndustry.biz's deputy editor Matt Martin was a TV talking-head. Industry legend Warren Spector also revealed he'd be holding hands with with action-film guru John Woo to create a game and movie.
A quick glance at the Internet eyeball revealed that beta applications for the much anticipated Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning are now in motion, and Groove Games has also launched a free competitive gaming service that rewards winners with real-life cash.
Killzone turned out to be the first PSP game to have its story mode extended by directly downloadable content as well as a much needed multiplayer hub; Company of Heroes wallowed in support for DirectX 10, and Frogster popped a new site for Speedball 2 up.
In friendship park AMD and Valve pushed each other on the swings, announcing a fancy new deal to give Radeon owners free games. And Steam is also the place PC lovers can buy Tomb Raider: Anniversary today.
Quick quick must finish can't be much else pant gasp.
That's it, Eurogamers. But feel free to colour in anything that's missing.