"Always two there are; no more, no less: a master and an apprentice." Yoda's stark pronouncement after the demise of double-ended laser-dildo freak Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace nails down the structure of the Sith order. Apparently, this is known as the Rule of Two.
Beyond the murky realms of Expanded Universe onanism, it's also a dynamic that's at the heart of one of 2008's biggest games: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Put more simply: three's a crowd. Poor Count Dooku didn't last long after hunky Anakin swept the lovestruck Palpatine off his feet, did he? And look what happened to the amorous old fool when he tried it on with Vader's bright-eyed little boy in Episode VI.
In The Force Unleashed, set between Episode III and IV, you play as Darth Vader's secret apprentice. So secret, they only made him up a couple of years ago. Of course, there's not a trace of him in Eps IV-VI (although god alone knows what tinkering George Lucas has left up his sleeve for the HD boxset). By the time 3PO is stumbling around the Tantive IV, soiling his shiny ass, the Rule of Two has been preserved: there is Vader; there is the Emperor.
Exactly what happens to Vader's young protege over the course of the game, then, is a fiction feast to satisfy Star Wars nerds' Sarlaac-like appetites. Anyway, if you're still reading this nonsense, that means you're probably one of these nerds. And that means Episode 22 of The Eurogamer TV Show is especially for you.
EGTV takes you behind-the-scenes of the Lucas Empire. Poking our camera around the shared offices of LucasArts, LucasFilm and ILM, we bring you in-depth looks at earth-cracking action game Fracture, as well as The Force Unleashed. Find what's in store for Lego Star Wars, get an update on the ultra-delayed Indiana Jones action game and discover what it's like to work for the man who thought Jar Jar Binks was a good idea - it's all there in Episode 22.
If all that wasn't enough, EGTV infiltrates the spiritual home of Star Wars, Skywalker Ranch, bringing you amazing, never-before-seen footage of George Lucas's private Californian paradise. And it's all thanks to Master Yoda. Episode 22 of The Eurogamer TV Show: see it, you must.