That Was The News: Part 2

July

The trend of nothing much happening after E3 continued throughout July. EA annoyed some more people with another promo idea someone probably didn't think through properly, and really wound up Dana White by allegedly telling him UFC isn't a real sport. Well, it's certainly no WWE.

Activision raised eyebrows by announcing the RRP for Modern Warfare 2 would be £54.99, blaming a weak pound and an irresistible desire to cash in and exploit kids. Maybe not the last two.

Over in Germany 28,000 people signed a petition protesting about Government plans to ban games with violent content, or 'killerspiele' as they're known over there. As if a bit of green blood ever hurt anyone.

Still raises a chuckle, even after all these years. Has anyone seen Dietrich?

In Gizmondo News, naughty old Stefan Eriksson went back to jail again for crimes including "illegal threats, attempted blackmail, and robbery". The scamp. Whatever happened to that 2009 Gizmondo relaunch, anyway?

The games industry was quick to honour the memory of poor dead Michael Jackson by announcing DLC and a new game inspired by the star. But it was veteran game designer David Perry who provided the most moving tribute when he recounted the time he almost smashed Jackson's son in the face with an egg.

August

The games industry descended on Germany once again for Europe's biggest game show but headed for Cologne rather than Leipzig this year. There we saw Sony's Andrew House (big fish, little fish, cardboard box) unveil PS3 Slim. He also announced PSP Minis, not as it turned out a new range of feminine hygiene products but some new games.

Meanwhile, Microsoft sent in Peter Molyneux to spaff on about Fable III for half an hour. At least he turned up though - Nintendo didn't, too busy patenting inflatable unicorns.

So would. Ultimate DILF.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Cage David tried to put talk of quick-time events in Heavy Rain to rest by showing journalists a section of the game that looked a bit like a quick-time event.

Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Eidos attempted to "do a Radiohead" by allowing Championship Manager fans to pay whatever they felt the latest instalment was worth. Not sure that worked out too well.

And finally: Tim Curry.

September

This month it was off to Japan for the Tokyo Game Show. Andrew House (has anybody got any Veras?) promised us it would be worth the trip and he did disappoint. We expected to see the new PS3 motion controller in action; what we got was Kaz Hirai standing in a warehouse banging on about everything Sony's ever done for 57 minutes.

Meanwhile, at a separate conference we weren't invited to for not being Japanese, Jun Takeuchi showed how you could use the motion controller to play Resident Evil 5: Director's Cut. Shuhei Yoshida revealed it would also work with LittleBigPlanet, Flower, PAIN and EyePet. Plus Sony unveiled a new pink and white PS3. It was all very exciting, presumably.

Sorry, couldn't find any decent pictures of Andrew House (remember to drink plenty of water - rave safe!). Shame.

Also at TGS, Hideo Kojima talked sex, violence, gambling, flying cars and Project Natal. Microsoft showed how you could use the new technology to play Space Invaders and look like a tit.

Back in the UK Sony played down claims of a fundamental problem with PS3, dismissing some hard-hitting investigative reporting by Iain Lee. Eurogamer did a bit of investigative reporting of its own, tackling the latest claim by Tim Langdell's Edge Games of trademark infringement. SERIOUS FACE.

Toby Gard said goodbye to Lara Croft, more than a decade after he invented her. And probably had a little cry.

Tecmo Koei provided the best PR quote of the year so far, with a spokesperson telling Eurogamer: "You waggle the pad, the girl's tits bounce." It doesn't really matter what the game was, does it?

October

It was time for the highlight of the gaming - and indeed every - calendar as the Eurogamer Expo took place in Leeds and London. Thousands of loyal readers, serious gamers and confused passers-by attended the show, as reported by the Expo blog.

Highlights included Paul Wedgwood showing off Brink and the voice of Mario phoning Johnny's Mum. Also putting in an appearance was Quantic Dream's Cage David, who talked more about Heavy Rain and wisely observed, "When you are 18, you won't be shocked for the rest of your life because you saw nipples." Quote of the show.

Meanwhile the launch of PSPgo pushed sales of Sony's handheld up by 120 per cent. October also saw the launch of the Sky Player on Xbox 360, to be followed swiftly by a crash landing.

Friend of Eurogamer Pat Garratt and his website, VG247.com, cleaned up at the Games Media Awards. Eurogamer took home Best Website for the third year running and lined it up with the other two so we could pretend we got as many trophies as Pat.

(Only) in America, Homeland Security began using the Wii to fight terrorists. Rumours Guantanamo Bay inmates are tortured by being forced to play Game Party for up to 14 hours a day are completely made up.

Bertie thought he was being hilarious by putting a picture of me at the Expo on Facebook. Shame for him my Facebook page doesn't have four million visitors.

Last but not least, Bayonetta creator Hideki Kamiya broke with thousands of years of accepted wisdom by declaring it is a "huge mistake" to think "big breasts on women seem erotic". Who knew?

November

It seemed like every other headline mentioned Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 during November. There were complaints about the promo video featuring a homophobic slur, reports the game was being shipped out early, issues with dedicated servers for the PC version, questions in parliament over the level of violence - and that was before the game came out.

Vernon Kaye hosted the Leicester Square launch, which was attended by such luminaries as Dom Joly, Dexter Fletcher and a Black Eyed Pea. In the US and UK alone more than 4.7 million copies of MW2 were shifted in just one day, and the game smashed previous records set by Grand Theft Auto IV.

Odd that Clooney, Brangelina, Puff Daddy etc. were unavailable.

Some other things did happen during the month, not all of them cheery. EA shut down Pandemic Studios and Nokia sent N-Gage to the glue factory. Thousands of console modders had a little cry after Microsoft banned them from Xbox Live and wouldn't even say sorry.

In Unexpected Uses for Games Consoles news, the Navy began training sailors using PSPs while the FBI started catching paedophiles with PS3s. The Government also decided to recruit spies via Xbox Live . Everyone knows James Bond is a massive Achievement whore. And finally, President Obama praised the use of games as educational tools, demonstrating rampant fanboyism by referring to Sony as an "industry leader".

December

You mean you've forgotten it all already? More details of the PS3 magic wand emerged, with silver-haired EA boss John Riccitiello suggesting it's called "Gem". This made sense - after all, Gem is excitement, adventure, glamour and glitter, plus fashion and fame. (For the 98 per cent of readers who won't get that reference - truly, truly truly outrageous).

Even more exciting was the news you will be able to use the magic wands as maracas. Still no sign of that much longed-for sombrero peripheral though. Come on Sony, don't let us down.

Can't really see it ourselves but it might make a decent XBLA title.

In fact Riccitiello had quite a lot to say for himself this month, also declaring there are now a billion gamers in the world and complaining all those Modern Warfare games look the same to him. Next he'll be complaining about Activision coming over here and stealing all our positions as the world's number one third-party publisher hang on what?

Funny though, Riccitiello was curiously quiet on rumours about a new Tiger Woods game for the Wii where you use the remote to attack fire hydrants. Perhaps because they were made up for the sake of a stupid and obvious joke.

Fans of Mark Ecko and the utterly forgettable Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure must have been pleased to hear the fashion designer hasn't given up on games. Apparently he wanted to make one based on Shakespeare's Macbeth, which would have an emphasis on "cutting people's heads off". With that, and Dante's Inferno on the way, are games based on classic literature the future? Surely Pride and Prejudice: Lizzy Bennet's Puzzling Adventure would go down a storm with the DS demographic?

And finally finally finally finally, SEGA won its appeal against the ban on Aliens vs. Predator in Australia. Yep, slow news month.

Here's hoping things pick up in 2010, and there's a good chance they will - for the first time in living memory publishers have actually held back some promising titles for the early part of next year, rather than shoving them all out for Christmas. Bayonetta, Mass Effect 2, Blur, Heavy Rain, StarCraft II, BioShock 2, possibly even Gran Turismo 5... We've got all those to look forward to, not to mention Project Natal, the PS3 magic wand and the Vitality Sensor. Looks like 2010 could well be a very happy new year. Merry Christmas!