Previous
That Was the News 2008 Article
PC
PlayStation 2
PSP
DS
Xbox 360
PlayStation 3
Wii
Article
by
Ellie Gibson
Page 1 of 2.
Page 2 
Yes, it's that time of year again. As Cliff Richard would say, a time for forgiving, a time for forgetting, a time for looking back on all the events of the past 12 months and making snide comments about them.
Part one of our retrospective covers the first half of the year, logically. Remember the Manhunt 2 ban? The death of HD-DVD? The national outcry over accidental breast shrinkage in Age of Conan? Then you don't need to read this. But if not, carry on.
January
It was a bumper month for videogame-related controversies. First off, the High Court decided Manhunt 2 should be banned from sale, on account of how it might turn us all into big old murderers.
This must have pleased the Daily Mail but it also left the paper with empty pages, so it was time to turn on Nintendo. The newspaper reported that playing the Wii is no substitue for regular real-life exercise. In other news, burgers have more calories than apples.
"How's it going?" "Bit bored. Fancy doing scissors?" "Yeah okay I'll just take my hat off."
The Telegraph also took a pop at Nintendo, identifying what it called "Nintendo Wii syndrome". The newspaper reported that "thousands" of injuries had occurred, and found one man in Cheshire to confirm this.
Fox News had a go at Mass Effect, claiming that half a tit amounts to "inappropriate sexual content". One commentator described it as "Luke Skywalker meets Debbie Does Dallas". Which, come to think of it, could put Mark Hamill's career right back on track. I'll tell him when I see him.
The best news of the month, and indeed of all time, was the announcement of Gizmondo's imminent return. Or not so imminent, as it turns out, but hope springs eternal.
February
There was bad news for comic book fans this month as Cryptic stopped work on superhero MMO Marvel Universe Online. However, there was good news for comic book fans this month as Cryptic started work on superhero MMO Champions Online.
It's unlikely these three have Brain Ages in the teens.
Speaking of MMOs, EA rubbished reports of a new Knights of the Old Republic game. LucasArts also issued a statement saying its relationship with BioWare "has nothing to do with Knights of the Old Republic". Apart from, as it turned out, the Knights of the Old Republic MMO LucasArts is developing with BioWare.
Meanwhile, Toshiba dismissed reports HD-DVD was going in the bin. The following day, Toshiba confirmed reports HD-DVD was going in the bin.
Big Phil Harrison said goodbye to Sony after 15 years of service. Reasons for his departure were not given, but rumour had it he was off to Valinor with his brother Gandalf.
In comedy-games-in-the-media-news, Watchdog got upset with Brain Training for not being able to understand a word Northerners say. Nintendo advised people to "try to avoid using strong dialects" i.e. be a bit posher.
March
TV's Tanya Byron published her report on videogame age ratings. She sent the games industry to the naughty step for failing to educate parents properly, and recommended a film-style ratings system for games. Don't know what's wrong with marks out of ten, personally.
Yes please.
It was confirmed that Manhunt 2 would get a release when the BBFC decided it had "no alternative" but to give the game a ratings certificate after all. Presumably Rockstar had come round its house and threatened it with a carrier bag.
There was controversy over Alten8's Imagination is the Only Escape for DS, in which players take on the role of a Jewish boy struggling to survive under the Nazi regime. It's still too soon.
Everyone's favourite anti-games MP, Keith Vaz, stood up in parliament and claimed some videogames let players "rape women". It will always be too soon.
Big Phil Harrison announced he had a new job. No, not blowing dreams into children's bedroom windows, but being president of Atari. "As the game business moves rapidly online I believe we have an outstanding opportunity to create amazing network game and community experiences for players the world over," said Harrison. "Plus, they've promised me all the snozzcumbers I can eat."
Want to comment on this article? Log in, or register!
Comments: 1-26 of 26 in total
|
kangarootoo
24/12/08 @ 10:31
0
"This article was most fun for seeing companies lying about their projects constantly."
"Lie" is my nomination for most overused and least understood word of gaming in 2008. And that is it, my last sarcastic and superior comment of the year. I am unlikely to show my face around here for at least a week, so I shall wish all staff and readers a Merry Xmas. May you all get the games you are hoping for, and maybe walk around the block every couple of hours or so whilst playing them, just to guard against dvt. :) |
|
TheGoose126
24/12/08 @ 10:51
0
Alle the best Eurogamer and fellow gamers over this festive period. The missus has just informed me that Midnight club racing has just arrived so I will be on there later before drinking white russians and passing out, The dude abides!
|
|
0
I love you Ellie. At least your writing (although wouldn't mind meeting you. If you happen to stumble upon the continent I will buy you a beer). It always makes me laugh and it's brilliantly written. You are definitely my favourite Eurogamer writer!
(Actually I read the article without looking who wrote it, but after only after about two sentences I knew it was Ellie's) |
|
Carpathian
24/12/08 @ 10:52
0
Without a doubt that's the item of the year so far AND we've still got the second part to come !
The thing that makes this so good is that alongside the spot-on humour (genuine LOL's sitting at the desk in the office) it does actually sum up the year very well. When you hit the bullet points like this you realise just how crazy the industry is overall and how it only ever opens its mouth to change feet. Keep up the good work Ellie ! |
|
kinky_mong
24/12/08 @ 10:58
0
"They're also more likely to have really great personalities," the platform holder did not add.
Brilliant! Great article from Ellie as usual. And I'd love Tanya Byron to put me on the naughty step. |
|
kissthestick
24/12/08 @ 11:32
0
heh
Eurogamer, dont forget July = FFXIII multiplatform = gaming forum boards explode |
|
optimusprym8
24/12/08 @ 12:05
0
as long as there is PR, there will always be "lies" and bullshit
Merry Xmas everyone |
|
0
@Aspic
"Wonder if when they get to December, EG might actually do their fucking job and report on the Steam pricing issue" Their job? Really? Reporting about an online retailer overcharging? I think you want some kind of consumer watchdog site to be honest. That said I'd like to hear something as well. I for one won't be buying anything from Steam until they sort things out. |
|
Doctor_What
24/12/08 @ 13:22
0
Raar! Grrgh! Yarrr!
... I'm not very convincing at being angry, even at the worst of times. I saw somewhere it had been posted that Ellie's name always gets mentioned in comments sections more than other writers. I think that's because she's got the most recognisable style to her writing. About the time that the made-up quotes begin kicking in you can be pretty sure who's sitting behind the keyboard. The article pretty much sums up the weirdness of our indutry where there's a big load of money floating around, like in movies, but not nearly the same amount of PR common sense. In the film industry all information is carefully controlled in the release of a game. It should be the same for games, but for some reason we constantly have PR, designers, producers, and others spouting off with hyperboles, only to find themselves eating their words days or months later. To me that says how young an industry we still are. It also says that it's for our own good that journalists, like the ones on EG, politely point it out and tease the silly people a bit! Anyway, merry winter-thingy to everyone! |
|
0
Tanya Byron. Nice!
I forgot that silliness over the ME "half a tit"! That news report was truly cringe worthy, Fox News LOL at the twats. Damn you Ellie! Bringing up old memories of buying HD DVD at Christmas and bloody Warner pulling out in Jan :(. Still over that now, enjoyed the fire sales and moving on with Blu. Good read Ellie, ta! |
|
Landmaster
24/12/08 @ 22:29
0
Nice one Ellie, great bedtime read for me!
Merry Christmas everyone! X x |
Comments: 1-26 of 26 in total
Want to comment on this article? Log in, or register!
