Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

By Luke Albiges Published 27 March, 2007

It ain't easy being green.

Version tested: Xbox 360

There's a worrying trend starting to develop in games aimed at the younger end of the market these day. Back in the day, the idea of even saving your progress in a game was an alien concept but today, ever since Lego Star Wars did it, developers seem to think its okay to churn out games in which you can't actually die. The only thing this can ever test is patience, which is no good thing. And with its oh-so-frequent checkpoints in case you fall off a building (which will happen a lot through no fault of your own) and unique 'press A to get up with full life after being killed in battle' system, Turtles is the latest such offender. Oddly, though, this is pretty much the least of the game's worries.

Considering that UbiSoft Montreal is responsible for this movie tie-in, similarities to the Prince Of Persia games sort of make sense but while Turtles might follow the same recipe, it sure as hell doesn't use the right ingredients. Each of the sixteen levels is effectively an obstacle course with fights triggered at certain locations but seeing as how each of those two elements is deeply flawed, you can probably already see why Turtles isn't exactly 'must-play' material.

But before we lay bare the game's faults, it's probably best to set the scene. TMNT uses the style and locations from the new film but follows a rather different narrative, a cheap series of flashbacks narrated by the green chaps themselves as you play through. Cut scenes attempt to tie it together between each stage, but just end up making excuses as to why the game is single player only - a fact made even more ridiculous by the game's constant reminders of the importance of working together. Looks like somebody should have taken their own advice.

'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Screenshot 1

Raph's special ability is to climb certain glowing walls. 30 GamerPoints anyone?

Now to punish the two main aspects of the game. First up, platforming. Every genre staple makes it into this one - double jumps, wall runs, pole spins and so on - but the fundamental flaw here is that unlike Prince Of Persia, everything is overly simplified to the point where you get zero satisfaction out of even the most complex acrobatic runs. To make matters worse, the whole affair is way too twitchy, with turtles often electing to wall run to their doom rather than double jump or failing to make the simplest of leaps because they don't seem to want to put the effort in. Fighting is somehow even worse, and although each character has their own 'style', the extent of combo potential here is mashing on B a lot. Not that you'll even need to do that. So broken is the combat that by holding and releasing B, you can unleash an invincible ninja dash attack that hits up to five foes in sequence. You can do this whenever you want and you won't need any other move to get past anyone except some of the infrequent bosses. Weak.

GamerScore whores take note, though, for TMNT may be the quickest and easiest set of points on the 360 so far. If this sounds good to you, pick it up first thing in the morning and by lunchtime, you'll be a thousand GamerPoints richer and ready to take it back to the shop, play the good old 'My Mum Bought Me The Wrong Thing' card and exchange it for something that isn't quite so awful. Just remember that the world will forever be able to see that you completed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Chances are, though, if you're that bonkers for GamerPoints, you'll already have the likes of King Kong, Eragon and any number of EA Sports games on that list so this will be no time to be worrying about lost pride.

'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Screenshot 3

We used the spin kick once or twice, but only to make a little room to hold B without getting hit. Ninja Gaiden this ain't.

Throw into the mix the fact that the whole game lasts about four hours and you've got yourself one of the most unnecessary video games of the year. Invisible walls aplenty? Check. Woefully linear design with a trail of coins holding your hand every step of the way just in case? Check. Fixed camera that seems as though it was designed to intentionally give no idea of distance or perspective? Check.

If you like the sound of a game which feels a lot like playing an extremely early build of Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time on a broken television then go ahead and drop forty notes on this abomination. Lack of multiplayer in a Turtles game is a joke and though it may have looked for a while like the days of the cynical movie license cash-in were coming to a close, thank God for titles like X-Men and Turtles for keeping the dream alive and making every other game out there look a whole lot better by comparison.

4 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
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About Luke Albiges

Read more articles from Luke by visiting the Luke Albiges archive page.

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Comments (52) Latest comment 3 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Sid-Nice #1 5 years ago

    "Cowabunga."

  • UncleLou #2 5 years ago

    Better than the TV series, then.

  • Fairlane #3 5 years ago

    My son want to play this. He is 5 - anyone, is it to violent ?

  • Pac #4 5 years ago

    "If this sounds good to you, pick it up first thing in the morning and by lunchtime, you'll be a thousand GamerPoints richer and ready to take it back to the shop, play the good old 'My Mum Bought Me The Wrong Thing' card and exchange it for something that isn't quite so awful."

    Game no longer offer to return products if they have been opened. So don't try this at home kids.

  • jonsaan #5 5 years ago

    aaaaaaw nutz, I really wanted this to be good. For shame Ubisoft.

  • Flightrisker #6 5 years ago

    "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - It ain't easy being green. "


    Arrested Development reference?

  • Rirekon #7 5 years ago

    @ Pac

    Fortunately most games you by from Game will already be opened so they can "store them safely" (read: "take them home each evening";)

  • Hog-lumps #8 5 years ago

    Game no longer offer to return products if they have been opened. So don't try this at home kids.

    I cant remember the last time I've receieved an actual sealed box from Game................most the time the assistant roots around in the drawers for 1/2 an hour before finding the game and manual wrapped together 'carefully' in an elastic band! :-)

    edit - err what Rirekon said!
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 11:46

  • mazzl #9 5 years ago

    and a good TMNT game would be so brilliant, why had ubi fucked this up so bad, they are capable of makeing brilliant games, sometimes they just can't be bothered it seems.

  • Eldritch #10 5 years ago

    Best closing paragraph in a long time, mate!

  • Vin #11 5 years ago

    Fuck sake Ubi.

  • Genji #12 5 years ago

    No multiplayer?

    Wow... just wow.

  • alimokrane #13 5 years ago

    EA = UBI is officially a FACT!
    I would personally give this a ZERO! cheap full assed lame port to have ever existed.

    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 11:54

  • ProtoformX #14 5 years ago

    The reason Game open most of their games is because they need the case to put on the shelf. Now publishers are able to pay large amounts of money in shelf space most Game stores don't get enough dummy boxes of a given game to fill the required space so they have to take the stuff out of an actual box. Most big new release titles come in in very large quantities though so there should still be plenty of sealed ones around.Interestingly though, you're half-right. Game employess did used to be able to take games home for a couple of nights at no charge so they could play them and have better product knowledge. But that stopped years ago.

  • Daryoon #15 5 years ago

    Funny how the NES game remains the best after all these years :o

  • AcidSnake #16 5 years ago

    @Vin:
    You don't like sake?

    Where did I put my coat?...

  • Caimbeul #17 5 years ago

    Buy it on PC from play.com at only £14.99 - the demo was a laugh albeit very easy. for £15 delivered you cant complain but £40 because its on 360!!?? madness.
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 12:03

  • sharky_ob #18 5 years ago

    "Chances are, though, if you're that bonkers for GamerPoints, you'll already have the likes of King Kong, Eragon and any number of EA Sports games on that list so this will be no time to be worrying about lost pride."

    = Overlush

    :)
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 12:07

  • miiiguel #19 5 years ago

    I bought the game and I kinda like it actually. I found the grpahics quite good, cartoony, but stylish.
    The only down side for me is the impossibility of controlling the camera and maybe a little too easy. But then again with so many amazing 360 games it's good to breeze through some.
    I hope I finish it today so I can put my hands on Icon.

    Fairlane: no, it's not violent at all. Even the fighting sequences offer no idea of violence. Soft stuff.
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 12:10

  • andromeda #20 5 years ago

    a pizza shit, then?

  • Gojira #21 5 years ago

    4/10 for an "abomination" seems overly generous.

  • Aretak #22 5 years ago

    The difference between this and King Kong is that the latter was actually a pretty entertaining game, hampered only by its gnat-like lifespan.

  • IAmBatman #23 5 years ago

    King Kong - I went for the gamerscore, stayed for the fun FPS action. It's nowhere near the worse 360 FPS.

    This looks shit, though.

  • fatbb #24 5 years ago

    @Flightrisker

    It's a reference to Kermit the Frog's song.

  • Skooch #25 5 years ago

    This game is absolutely FANTASTIC! - for gamer score whores like me - not for much else.

    Coaster anyone?

  • morriss #26 5 years ago

    Will a film tie-in ever be good?!

  • Flightrisker #27 5 years ago

    @ fatbb


    Ah, AD must have been referencing Muppets.

    It's come full cirlce...

  • jonsaan #28 5 years ago

    @Flitrisker
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - It ain't easy being green. "


    Arrested Development reference?

    No, more likely a Muppet show reference I'd think. Probably where Arrested Development nicked it from too.
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 12:54

  • toy_brain #29 5 years ago

    "Will a film tie-in ever be good?!"

    Yes, and in fact the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game is good.
    Just not this version.
    Trundle over to metacritic and you will find that, with a current average score of 82 (after 5 reviews) the Game Boy Advance version is the one to get if you fancy some low-brow Final Fight style brawling action.
    I'm not kidding, here, check the link....
    [link url=ht tp://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/gba/tmnt
    ]http://ww w.metacritic.com/games/platform...[/link]

    I have it, it's not too bad. Enemies could do with a bit more variety but the game does its best to vary things with lots of usable weapons, an above average move-list (for this type of game) and some environmental hazards that you can knock enemies into (subway trains, explosive barrels, land mines)

  • numptyboymatt #30 5 years ago

    I bought it, and its not that bad - I know its a kids game, but I have played plenty worse in the past.

  • Fairlane #31 5 years ago

    @miiiguel

    Thank you for replying. Just a shame we(as in my Son and I) cant play it together "Lego-Starwars-style"

    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 13:25

  • miiiguel #32 5 years ago

    numptyboymatt; exactly, kids and girlfriends friendly kinda game. Nice fun hours spent with me girl last night.

    numptyboymatt: yeah, they should have made it co-op, then again, I and my gf took turns (one level each) yesterday..., not as good but still fun though.
    Edited by 1 at 27/03/07 @ 13:28

  • Overlush #33 5 years ago

    @sharky_ob

    /sticks fingers in ear

    LALALALALALALA can't hear you!!

    Anyhoo, thinking of selling the 360 and ridding myself of this evil gamerscoritis. I'm in love with PS3 :)

  • Johnson #34 5 years ago

    >> exactly, kids and girlfriends friendly kinda game. Nice fun hours spent with me girl last night.

    Um... should we ask how old your girl is?

  • rprince #35 5 years ago

    "developers seem to think its okay to churn out games in which you can't actually die"

    Is there actually anything wrong with this? Obviously it would not be good for every game, as then there would be a lack of challenge, but it surely allows more people to complete games and not get frustrated with them.

    It must be better than games with impossible learning curves that put people off buying another £40 game that they'll only play for 10 minutes before giving up?

  • captainrentboy #36 5 years ago

    ''Seeing those screen shots one word sprung to mind *Generic*
    No wonder it recieved only 4/10 ''
    Whenever I read any comment made by you one word springs to mind,''Twat!''.
    Tell us again how Motorstorm is worth 10/10 just by the screenshots alone.
    Although saying that the review is right,I've been playing this in work and it's abysmal,it kind of reminded me of Crash Bandicoot/Pandemonium but nowhere near as good.The enemy design is phenomenal though.....

  • Skooch #37 5 years ago

    It is an extremely linear button-bashing game that lacks in imagination or any kind of creativity. However, the platformer, easy-to-pick-up, playable nature of it does mean that for kids and girlfriends and the odd mindless gaming session it is perfectly suitable.

  • Pulsar_t #38 5 years ago

    Anyone seen the new TMNT film yet?

  • MaskedDave #39 5 years ago

    What a shame, oddly my hopes for this revival had been much more with the game then the film.

    Yet while the film is awesome...

    Come on, how'd they fuck up so badly? Just no budget? All talentless developers? This should have been squad-based Prince of Persia, FROM THE POP DEVELOPER! It would have rocked.

  • peeetah #40 5 years ago

    One question. Does it have the theme tune?

  • JSD124 #41 5 years ago

    "I GOT KIDS ALL OVER TOWN!"

  • smelly #42 5 years ago

    I've come to the conclusion that EG are anti-tmnt fanboyz.

    :-D

  • Pedrolot #43 5 years ago

    Hero's in a half shell.............TURTLE POWER!

  • dudefella #44 5 years ago

    Cowabunga...

    Cowa-fucking-piece of dog turd!

    Cookies for whoever gets the reference.

  • Triggerhappytel #45 5 years ago

    Anyone else remember a few years back, when Ubi were consistently good?

    It seems like such a long time ago.

  • Azazel #46 5 years ago

    Surely a 'half-shell' would just fall off? pff

  • Overlush #47 5 years ago

    IMHO the gameplay in this is no more or less shallow than Lego Star Wars. You bunch of C3PO snobs you.

  • newt #48 5 years ago

    Weird, I actually enjoyed this on the PC. Hated the camera but the game never felt like a cheap movie tie-in. But then again, I've played it only for about an hour.

  • thefilthandthefury #49 5 years ago

    It's... average. Very average. However it has the worst graphics I've ever seen on a game. Ever.

  • muters #50 5 years ago

    Meh, it isn't so bad. A fun, fluid kiddy's Prince of Persia. No less challenging or entertaining as Lego Star Wars, at any rate.

    I'm assuming it's aimed at kids who aren't allowed to play games for more than half an hour at a time, because I just completed it in one sitting. And no Krang, Beebop or Rocksteady? No April? Only the merest smidgen of Shredder? Get the fuck out!

  • Saii #51 5 years ago

    While I can understand the reviewer doesn't like this game very much, there is something quite jarring about the written style here. It is quite unbecoming and not what I would expect from EG.

  • rageman #52 3 years ago

    Most boring game of the Xbox 360. I only play for the achievements and because it was so cheap.