Shame Train Roundup Comments by Ellie Gibson
Games so bad we had to buy them.
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Poster
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Wait - so someone gets PAID to write the stuff on the back of game boxes? Because they're all identical, I thought it was like:
AI = "intelligent" "sophisticated" "human-like" Graphics = "hyper-realistic" "lifelike" "stunning" Speed = "blistering" (or is that for every graphics card box ever?) etc |
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jonthepymm
18/06/08 @ 13:10
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"But there are much better sim games out there that don't cause huge frustration and confusion before you can even begin to enjoy playing them."
So A-Train HX is just like EVE, then? Hope its as complicated.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 18/06/08 @ 14:11
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pervertron
18/06/08 @ 13:14
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Yes - "It's certainly no Rococo McSpuffers." is no substitute for what we want.
GIVE US MORE MCSPUFFERS! |
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lordofdeadside
18/06/08 @ 13:16
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I love the Crashtime demo, it's the EDF of driving games. Awful in every quantifiable way, but strangely addictive. It'll be cheap very soon too.
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My idea:
Rococo McSpuffers - Foods Standards Agency - The Game A man on the wrong side of the counter, looking for grime in those hard to reach spots behind kebab stands and pizza ovens. A man who won't take "do you want fries with that?" As an answer, or a question A man armed with a swab. A man who fears no lardoplasms. |
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dirk_aircool
18/06/08 @ 13:22
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Why didn't this article appear BEFORE I bought A-train last saturday . At least I know why it was cheap . I found a site that I think explains how to play A-Train . http://www.artdink.co.uk.jp/title/ahx/en... thats the address on my favorites menu . I havent got down to trying it yet . I know I'm a big enough geek to attemp to play it . THAT ADDRESS DONT WORK . Sorry . Try http://www.artdink.co.uk
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 18/06/08 @ 14:24
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Shame Train MUST be a regular feature from now on. I apologise to EG for having to spend their own money on it, and I also apologise to Ellie for having to play them, but there is nothing more enjoyable than reading a shit game getting its head stoved in.
I demand that the Shame Train must be enshrined in EG standard practice! Do it now!! |
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muscleblade
18/06/08 @ 13:27
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"It's never a good sign when a publisher waits until release day to send out review copies of their game".
Alone in the dark !! Release day tomorrow + no reviews on metacritic or gamerankings = Turkey game.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 18/06/08 @ 14:44
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Got A-Train at home but it's still in it's wrapper so can't say anything about it - This review has just put me off ever unwrapping it though...time to sell me thinks.
AITD5 looking good though reviews have been very mixed so far. It got 3/10 from Gamereactor but got 8/10 from Playr - Not something I've pre-ordered. |
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muscleblade
18/06/08 @ 13:33
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8/10 from Play = LOL
I predict an average at 65-70% tops. I might be wrong but dont bet on it.
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most recently on 18/06/08 @ 14:34
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I found a non-English review of Alone in the Dark. 3/10! Be very afraid...
Translated link: http://www.gamereactor.no%2Fanmeldelser%... |
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groovychainsaw
18/06/08 @ 13:37
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Yeah, alone in the dark must be poor, surely? No reviews yet, only favourable previews? Is this some sort of gentlemen's agreement between atari and the world's press? I think it looks good, but I'm not going to bite til i see a couple of reviews, atari....
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muscleblade
18/06/08 @ 13:38
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Alone in the Dark:
Pros: You can skip tedious/frustrating parts. feels like a TV show. Cons: clumsy controls lackluster graphics annoying gameplay mechanics bad voiceovers 3/10 - Gamereactor Norway - pretty reliable source imo.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 18/06/08 @ 14:40
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muscleblade
18/06/08 @ 13:51
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" No reviews yet, only favourable previews?"
Previews are so misleading that ive almost stopped reading them entirely. Ironman got good previews ffs. |
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@dirk_aircool - you're probably after http://www.artdink.co.jp/japanese/title/ahx/en_system.php
dunno how well that explains the game, i don't have it. nearly bought the ps2 one once, but then i didn't. |
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As a bleach fan I would add an extra 2 points on that score. Other than that I agree with everything in this article.
It's funny, these days I only read reviews of bad games. Especially those by Ellie. It's garunteed entertainment. REviews of good games are too serious and usually 3 pages of "ohmagwd dis is the most amzings game eavrzzz!11" Like Ben Crosshaw, this is refreshing change. Keep up the good work Ellie. |
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Moonprince
18/06/08 @ 14:00
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fs Ellie...
Can't you take the other guys through some lessons so they too can write as well as you? |
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muscleblade
18/06/08 @ 14:03
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"Hmm - that GameReactor site gave it 4/10 for visuals. Kind of destroys any credibility IMO."
According to the reviewer the textures varies between mediocre to very bad. Others have commented about giving the graphics only 4/10 and he responds in the comments section that if you think this looks good you need to see an eyedoctor. Lets wait and see what others has to say about this but graphics is a pretty objective matter.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 18/06/08 @ 15:05
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DarkColouredCoffee
18/06/08 @ 14:21
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Alone in the Dark Review needed ;_; though as people say the lack of reviews seems likely that this is a poor title. Though I hope not....
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@Vroom!
"LOL, I remember that one. Remember the Sven model. Truly hideous." Well now I remember! Thanks for that ;) Ooh, and the way the players ran like they forgot to remove the coathangers from their shirt. Or how their knees bent the wrong way. Hideously awesome. See, it does feel good to hate sometimes. More Shame-Train please! |
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A-Train HX is the sort of game I can spend hours on. I got it on rental which meant no manual, it was a painful half an hour of trying to work out what the hell I was supposed to be doing and swearing at the lack of tutorial. It looks like it could be a good game if you are interested in that sort of thing and know what you are doing
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Madafunkola
18/06/08 @ 15:09
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Something sick, sadistic and twisted deep inside me really liked the Crash Time demo. First game I have laughed at the poorness. The voice over/script was like a bad porno!
Anglo-euro accent #1: "Do you guys dirve so fast all the time?!?" More-euro-than-anglo accent #2: "Yeah!" More-anglo-than-euro-accent #3: "That way we get time for 2 cups of coffee!" |
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Carbon_Altered
18/06/08 @ 15:13
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So do loads of other people much prefer reading reviews of bad games than they do good games? Thought I was the only one!
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