Screwjumper! Review

By Mike Bowden Published 25 November, 2007

Screw this.

Version tested: Xbox 360

Sometimes it seems like Microsoft's XBLA service just loves shooting itself in the foot. I mean, we have this great addition to the 360, one that has borne fruit to some excellent re-issues such as Sonic the Hedgehog and Castlevania: SotN. We have also witnessed some innovative titles such as Cloning Clyde and Carcassone. However, these games are sadly few and far between. The dirge of uninspiring and frankly boring titles that appear week in, week out is growing in size at an alarming rate. Microsoft has upheld its pledge of two new Live Arcade titles per week, solemnly swearing that this will be the service with the most downloadable content compared to its rivals. Games like Screwjumper! make me wish it had never made that promise.

Screwjumper! falls into the top-down action category. Well it's certainly top-down but the word action implies intensity, determination and in a videogame context, fun. In order to immerse the gamer, action titles usually have a plot and setting in order to give your mission some kind of purpose. So you can be forgiven for remaining completely nonplussed when you're told you're a former mine worker who, disgruntled with the safety risks of your previous job, is now hell bent on blowing everything up in the mines where you used to work. Sounds exciting, eh? Well, in case my attempt at sarcasm was lost on you, let me just say that it adds absolutely nothing whatsoever to the already bland and monotonous gameplay.

You dive down the mines using your booster to smash into green objects and thus racking up points and cash. Red objects are to be avoided at all cost, and if you bump into too many of these it's Game Over. The longer you hold down the boost button, the more points you receive as you hurtle head first into these platforms to the sound of a tinny explosion. Don't hold it down for too long, though, as it will overheat and send you back to square one. That's not all the arsenal you have at your disposal, however. You have dynamite! Yes. You can lob sticks of dynamite at various objects blocking your path for even more meaningless points and more cash you can't spend when you make your way back up.

'Screwjumper!' Screenshot 2

The real next-gen.

If you fail to obliterate a sufficient amount of inconsequential objects on your way down, when you finally land at the bottom, poisonous gas is released and it's back to the previous check point. Playing Screwjumper! you'll find this happens quite a lot as the game engine does its level best to hinder your progress by simply screwing up (pun intended) your aim. You position your character over several layers of green goodness, hit boost and your manic miner becomes instantly uncontrollable and you end up hitting about two of the platforms on offer. There is also a slight delay when you throw the sticks of dynamite, meaning you have to use your airbrakes often in order to make sure you don't hurtle past a cylinder (even though you actually threw your projectile in time).

The placement of red spiky mines means you have to constantly jam on the brakes, and thus your descent is a slow, arduous, frustrating one. This only serves to work against the game's intended premise of you falling at break neck speeds leaving a trail of explosions like John McClane down an elevator shaft.

'Screwjumper!' Screenshot 3

Green good. Red bad.

In an attempt to mix things up a little, developer Frozen Codebase has given you an initial choice of six characters, with the option to unlock a few more as you progress. This is a good idea in theory, but only if the members of your renegade explosive army actually display different attributes that affect gameplay. However, given the fact that they turn out to be almost identical puzzles me as to their inclusion. After you've unlocked a leve, you have the option to re-do it in Time Attack mode. When we take into consideration the borked aiming and the continual braking, there really isn't much point or more importantly, enjoyment in attempting them.

'Screwjumper!' Screenshot 4

Do what the man says. Get the hell out of there!

Visually it's passable. No tearing to speak of but nothing very imaginative or interesting either. The level geometry is rather bland, with all the mines looking pretty much the same with some tricky twists and turns in some of the later levels to make you want to throw your controller that little bit further. The Achievements are as you'd expect: complete Time Attack mode, complete levels one to five, play multiplayer with 754 friends for 800 hours etc. It all reeks of laziness, and dare I say it, shovelware.

Quality over quantity is one of the oldest discussion points there is. Do we need to have four great games out of fifty, for example? Wouldn't we rather there was some kind of quality control before a game was unleashed on an unsuspecting public? Yes, I know there's a free trial version, and, yes, I know it's all about choice, but it's also about reputation. Charging 800 points for this when the aforementioned Castlevania: SotN comes at the same price is taking the proverbial. Steer well clear of this one.

4 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Mike.

About Mike Bowden

Read more articles from Mike by visiting the Mike Bowden archive page.

You may also like...

Comments (28) Latest comment 4 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • menage #1 4 years ago

    Didn't think of this too highly when I demo'd it. The game looks weak. From every angle.

    I do think we're a bit harsh on the Live Arcade service here. The lsast 2 months have been rather good in my book. PQ, E4, Exit, while not for everyone are pretty solid titles. And the furure looks pretty bright. With Ikaruga, Omega 5, Rez, etc.

    Yes MS needs to do more quality control. But it's not like they made it themselves. And aren't there crap games on PSN and in the stores as well? It's not like we need protection from MS if we wan't to buy crappy shit. Just look at the charts and see the Movie tie-ins.

    There's always free choice., I'd rather have that. Who's deciding what's crap and what not then? Reviewers are totally wrong all the time. I wouldn't like it if MS ör some deskclerk decided what I wanted to play or not. It's just a store, a service, you don't have to buy anything.

  • morriss #2 4 years ago

    "Yes, I know there's a free trial version, and, yes, I know it's all about choice, but it's also about reputation."

  • menage #3 4 years ago

    I'd rather have the occasional stinker then someone deciding what I'm playing.

  • Lexx87 #4 4 years ago

    But if the game is overwhelming crapcakes MS could send it back and tell them to spruce it up a little. Or something.

  • menage #5 4 years ago

    I'll agree on that. It's not that I want a load of shit on Live.

    But take E4 for example. EG gave it a 4. Shouldn't that have been released because a couple of guys said it was crap. Metaritic seems to disagree. Just imagine having the wrong people at the wrong place.
    Edited by 3 at 25/11/07 @ 09:32

  • Xerx3s #6 4 years ago

    I'd rather have the occasional stinker then someone deciding what I'm playing.

    Indeed. The reviewer forgets that this is how the PS brand has become so big with so many quirky games. No quality control at all, anyone could just release what they wanted as long as it worked technically.

  • Steroyd #7 4 years ago

    But with the PS brand Sony never pledged x amount of games every week, if you want to make a game we'll let you do it and launch it when.

    The quota is silly, there'll be situations where they scramble to get any ole' game just to fill the quota like Namco's X racer, that was a loading screen minigame in Tekken 5.

  • Lexx87 #8 4 years ago

    Wait that is actually on XBLA or will be? If so then that's a tiny little bit silly. Then I also think i'm not going to buy it, it doesn't affect me if other people buy it. So...I win.

    Kind of.

  • Lexx87 #9 4 years ago

    Oh everyone just shut up and get back to Mass Effect :p

  • DanWhitehead #10 4 years ago

    I'd rather have the occasional stinker then someone deciding what I'm playing.

    That's the weirdest defence of crap games I've ever heard. You're free to decide what you want to buy, but if you're playing on a console there's always someone deciding what you get to choose from. Always has been, all the way back to the dawn of gaming. Only the PC has no filter between the developer and players.

  • Monkey_Puncher #11 4 years ago

    2 good games out of 50? That's utter shitewash!

    I guess you haven't been playing many of the latest games as there's been some real quality on XBLA recently.

    Screwjumper is definetl the worst for a long time, I got it free and I still want my money back. But over the last few weeks we've had Exit, Puzzle Quest, Mutant Storm, Switchball along with a bunch of others that have been really high quality.

  • Lexx87 #12 4 years ago

    I'm getting 10 games for free too causeI convinced a friend. I have 4 of them already (including bomberman and sonic) so when I get the codes check out the forums cause i'm gonna be giving them away first come first serve. (One game per person though)...i'm just nice like that.

  • menage #13 4 years ago

    "That's the weirdest defence of crap games I've ever heard. You're free to decide what you want to buy, but if you're playing on a console there's always someone deciding what you get to choose from. Always has been, all the way back to the dawn of gaming. Only the PC has no filter between the developer and players. "

    You're missing the point if you thought I was defending crap games. I only said quality can't be decided by a handful of individuals. because one mans crap game is anothers favorite (just look at the charts, wouldn't you rather have people not buying Mario instead of the Simpsons, still the masses tend to disagree with you at the moment).

    If there really was such a quality filter like you said, explain the dozens of really terrible games being released.

    I'm was NOT talking about content, subjectmatter, whatever.

    Edited by 2 at 25/11/07 @ 12:15

  • dllord #14 4 years ago

    I played the trial game and thought it was utter wank!
    Edited by 1 at 25/11/07 @ 12:56

  • Scyrenn #15 4 years ago

    I
    K
    A
    R
    U
    G
    A


    Please...


    Some rpgs would be nice too...
    For example, Streets of Rage 2 makes me want to play Story of Thor again...


    kthx

  • wobbly_Bob #16 4 years ago

    Xbox live arcade is a joke.

  • Lexx87 #17 4 years ago

    wobbly Bob is a joke

  • JYM60 #18 4 years ago

    These kind of games suck arse. Download games can be cheap and good you know.

    Don't know how much 800points is but if it's any more than the PSN loco roco game whoever priced it should be ashamed.

  • SuperZ #19 4 years ago

    XBLA does have some quality titles on there but I still think it's a missed opportunity for MS. They should have also celebrated the 5 years of Live by releasing Geometry Wars Waves for free for a day. Full circle and all that.

  • morriss #20 4 years ago

    JYM60: 800 points is about 4 times the price of LocoRoco. :/

  • Hughes. #21 4 years ago

    Can't you get reimbursed for this cock morriss? Rauper's in the Courvoisier Hot 500 or something now, he must be able to afford to give you a few quid for buying this arse.

    Also, what happened to that "The Dishwasher" game? That looked aces.

  • morriss #22 4 years ago

    I get the stripper and whores after having my reviews published on EG! :)

    (or so they tell me...)

  • Hughes. #23 4 years ago

    Suddenly I see the appeal.

  • haowan #24 4 years ago

    They need to put a ton more games up and let the users decide what's good instead of drip feeding games at 1 or 2 titles a week that are mostly shit.

    as someone else said, XBLA is a total joke, and it's also become publisher ground instead of an indie outlet. total shambles imo

  • pjmaybe #25 4 years ago

    OH THE IRONY of Morriss moaning about XBLA stuff after giving me such a kicking for doing so in the past :)

    Great review, that's a few meg of dlc I'm saved then :)

    Peej

  • morriss #26 4 years ago

    :)

  • miiiguel #27 4 years ago

    Live Arcade is a joke, but it's odd how every single publisher want a share of it.
    Ppl like it, get over it..., not everyone can be as enlightened as us, and see what's living.

  • TwistidChimp #28 4 years ago

    Who ever green lights this shit needs punching in the neck. Its so frustrating, I, and i'm sure numerous others, have so many ideas of interesting, innovative projects that would be low cost, and do well on Live Arcade, and pretty much all we get is unmitigated tripe like this.

    Lets face it, pretty much all the best games on Live Arcade are sodding ports or remakes. Almost without exception the new stuff has been utterly dire. Why is it so hard for them to find some decent sodding titles, a new indi game comes out every fucking week on the pc that is far, far better than almost anything on live arcade.