Retrospective: Earth Defence Force 2017
Spiders from Mars, or thereabouts.
EDF! EDF! EDF! There is one central thing you need to know about Earth Defence Force: it is not what people have come to believe they want from a videogame. Graphically it's last-generation, the animations are like watching stop-motion puppetry, the voicework sounds like extras from Baywatch reading the script of an Ed Wood movie, and the monsters appear to be based upon stock photography of insects.
It is, however, the answer to why we started playing videogames in the first place, all those years and all those consoles ago. It is the grand, raw, silly joy of pressing buttons and watching crazy, fantastical stuff happen on the screen in response. For whatever reason - accident, design or budgetary restrictions - it isn't a whole lot more than that. It doesn't need to be. You press a button and a building explodes. You press a button and a dozen giant ants are hurled into the air. You press a button and you ride a speeder bike over the head of a giant robot with laserguns for arms. That is why we play videogames.
EDF: not, in fact, a gas company, but rather the Earth Defence Force, humankind's last, best protection against an invading alien force. Not that they seem entirely sure it is an invasion - they immediately nickname the shiny spheres that appear in the skies 'The Ravagers', and then wonder if they come in peace. A self-fulfilling prophecy, really. The dialogue is hilariously broken and inappropriate, but it adds beautifully to the general B-movie air. "A bug! A very huge bug!"

And very huge bugs they really are - tank-sized ants, shed-sized spiders... It'd genuinely be a little creepy, if only there weren't so many of them on-screen at once that it plunges into happy absurdity. Armed with a rocket or grenade launcher, you murder them in their dozens, strangely undamaged, unwobbling corpses flying skywards and landing as temporary, chitinous mountains. It's low-tech for sure, but the scale and butchery of it looks incredible. EDF was met with a sour reaction by many gamers, and frankly it's baffling that they didn't find this simple act of comical carnage endlessly satisfying.
Equally crucial to EDF's towering achievement is the Police Academy-esque incompetence and total disregard for anyone else of the player-character. Boom! Oops, there goes that bridge. Kapow! Gosh, hope no-one was still in that tower block. Kerrrash! Oh come on, there was no way I wasn't going to shoot that massive radio tower. If it's a building, it can be destroyed. No-one will ever tell you off for it, no points will be deducted and, frankly, nothing will have been achieved - except the pure glee of meaningless destruction. It'd be an entirely different game if there civilians in them, but save for you, perhaps your co-op buddy, the Ravagers and some comically inept AI EDFers (who can also be casually murdered without consequence), the Earth you're so forcefully defending is a ghost-world.
Maybe it's just one more reflection of the game's apparent quick'n'dirty development style, which so successfully priorities excess over finesse, but I like to think everyone's already been evacuated, and you've been given a mandate to stop the aliens at all costs. Architecture doesn't matter - only killing insects and robots matters. So, you might as well nobble a few skyscrapers while you've got that rocket launcher on you anyway. Perks of the job and all that. No-one gets hurt, so millions of pounds' of property damage feels like jolly hijinks rather than the sadistic brutality it could have been. Your rocket's launchers not just for killing ants: it's for creating your own festival of destruction.
Ah, those weapons. They escalate in power and ludicrousness as you play through the game, picking up drops from slain aliens. They make this much sense: none. A simple machinegun can take down an army of flying robots that have apparently just destroyed humanity's entire air force. A hand grenade somehow packs enough power for a 100-foot blast radius of insta-death into something the size of a kitten's head. A missile launcher the size of a large dog, but somehow light enough to carry in one hand, can fire eight homing rockets at once. Oh, and ammo is infinite. Go figure. EDF isn't interested in giving any answers - just shut up and shoot stuff.

EDF has giant insects, giant robots, really giant robots and mecha-Godzilla. EDF has a mammoth death toll, and weapons that can level buildings. EDF is made of 10-minute missions that are positively built for drunken co-op fun. So why wasn't EDF absolutely huge? When brown shooter after brown shooter is released to rapturous acclaim and insane sales, a colourful, explosion-packed videogame that is all about the joy of videogames should have stuck out like a sore ant-thumb.
Blame the lack of a decent marketing effort. Blame the failure of much of the games press at the time to afford it the same degree of coverage as Shooting Men In Brown In A Brown World IV. Blame the lack of online multiplayer and Achievements. Blame the spiteful forum-whinging about the graphics and the lack of a crouch button. Blame an endemic attitude throughout games culture that rewards the familiar but ignores novelty. And now it's out of print. In a right and just world, this would be re-released on Xbox Live Arcade for a budget price, and it'd take over the world. Then we'd get a sequel with Live support and incredi-graphics. It won't happen, of course. EDF's ship has sailed, leaving only faint echoes of its enthusiasts occasionally passing across the internet.
You press a button and a building explodes. EDF! EDF! EDF!
You may also like...
-
Retrospective: Grim Fandango
-
Digital Foundry: PS3 Skyrim Lag Fixed?
-
Who Killed Rare?
-
Mobile Controller Group Test
-
The Story Behind XBLA's Biggest Game
-
Game of the Week: SoulCalibur 5
-
Why Devs Owe You Nothing
-
Face-Off: The Darkness 2
-
EA evaluating FIFA Street features for FIFA 13
-
CD Projekt: Witcher 2 intro cinematic "the most expensive asset we ever created"
-
Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning Review
-
Gotham City Impostors Review
-
Grand Slam Tennis 2 Review
-
The Darkness 2 Review
-
Skyrim patch 1.4 now live for Xbox 360
-
Mass Effect 3 FemShep trailer debuts
-
Epic's Sweeney on graphics tech: "the limit really is in sight"
-
Next Xbox has tablet-like touch-screen controller - rumour
-
Metal Gear Solid: The "Lost" HD Remasters
-
EA announces starry Syndicate voice cast
-
Namco Bandai to publish new Star Trek title
-
Catherine Review
-
Skyrim makers create dragon riding, Kinect shouts, new skill trees
-
Cheapest places to buy Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning
-
Five new Mass Effect 3 gameplay trailers









Comments (78) Latest comment 3 years ago
Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
It's great fun though and an absolute blast in multiplayer. Global Defence Force is the more replayable game however. They should port it with a graphics overhaul to the PS3, it'll sell like crazy.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I've picked it up countless times the last months, only to put it down again with a 'nah' and a shake of the head....
Mr Meer has convinced me to pick it up.
Of course, its bound not to still be there now.....
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
oh and i never posted my kudos at the time.
i was Really Really impressed with the review, this is why i go eurogamer first.
i'm sure most review sites would have given this a average score,
i cant stand review sites that do an ign styled breakdown
graphics score, sound score etc, and then rate accordingly.
it was a bold move to score that a 9, its technically no where near a nine.
but we dont play games for tecchnical merit,
Games are meant to be fun. that is all.
Kieron ftw
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I got this near release at it's RRP (£25 at the time) and it was great then. Certainly a great contrast to the also brilliant Gears of War. It is a shame about the lack of online co-op, but it's still great as is.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Bouncing plastic spiders.
the I agrees and I disagrees were class.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I've just been playing it and wasn't able to complete a mission cos a giant ant got stuck inside a building and I didn't pack a rocket launcher as I wanted to try out the shotgun I'd just unlocked. That kinda stuff is gonna annoy.
But yeah, it's a good laugh, although I'd still be a bit miffed if I paid more than a tenner for it.
@ilmaestro: I made the same point when they did a "retro" feature on Pathologic, which is about three years old. I'm not sure EG quite understand retro!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
We had one on Crackdown the other week! Still I suppose technically, they are still retrospectives
I'm looking forward to next week's Alan Wake retrospective!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Maybe it's a game for the children of the ZX Spectrum era... Those of us who remember first seeing giant ants (or GI-ANTS as a friend of mine refers to them) as a kid in 3D Ant Attack and wishing you could do more than jump on their heads.
It is a game that is impossible to play without a big stupid grin across your face, a genuinely 'laugh out loud' experience which sees you leveling cities, destroying wave after wave of absurdly large insects and shooting down Independence Day sized flying saucers with glee. I remember the first time I saw a wave of giant (the word giant just doesn't seem big enough) robots coming out of the sea, firing technicolour megadeath rays, or the huuuuuuge 4 legged walker leveling buildings all whilst being attacked by hundreds of insects & UFOs and just wondering how in the hell my 360s GPU wasn't melting under the strain.
It's a game that can be summed up in 2 words. Fun & Excess.
As DFawkes so rightly said, if you can't find anything to like in this game then I put it to you that you have no soul.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
In big-budget HDgaming world this shouldn't even exist, so glad it does though.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
The standard definition of "retrospective" is "looking back over things in the past" - it has nothing to do with "retro" as in a game more than a few years old. Therefore, Eurogamer would be perfectly entitled to do a retrospective on a game released yesterday if they wanted!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
http://ww w.mymemory.co.uk/Xbox-360-Games...
Comment below viewing threshold Show
EDF reminded me of Serious Sam in a lot of ways. But it was bad. Perhaps it was a case of it being "so bad that it was good" that caused it to capture so many positive reviews (it somehow garners a 69 average on Metacritic), I don't know. But unlike Serious Sam, it certainly wasn't good.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I got to about level 20 and the repetitiveness started to get to me. Very uncreative achievement points as well.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
KG
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Would be useful, though, if you cared to elaborate on <em>why</em>.
I bought Global Defense Force because people said it was even better than EDF, although that failed to catch my immediate interest after half an hour, so I still haven't tried this.
By the way, I think you're stretching it a bit when 2007 games get articles in the retro section.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Interesting timing of the retrospective as I'm now having a similar amount of fun killing the EDF and blowing up buildings on Mars in RFG!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I'm just voluntarily pushing my opinions onto people. When I get paid to do it, then I'll start explaining the rationale behind them!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
"Just shows how huge the damn thing is!"
The game is utter genius...end of.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Brad Galloway is a big bucket of dickwipe. He hates Bangai-O Spirits too, because he's fucking shit at games.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Now if any game (or sequel) was crying out for 4-player L4D co-op shenanigans, it would be EDF! 4 x Vulcan rocket launchers, you'd probably end up blowing up the whole city with the first shot!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
It sounds like Serious Sam - and I liked Serious Sam a LOT.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
PS Azael - if you like Serious Sam, you NEED this game.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
For a game based entirely around firing a gun I found the weapons lacking and without any punch, the core mechanic just wasn't satisfying enough to over come the slog of basically grinding through the game, it's a long game too. Huge levels and plenty of them don't do it any favours, if it had been sliced down, the filler and grind removed I'd have probably come away a lot happier.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
@Razzzajazz: The small brushed-metal UFOs seemed to really hit the frame rate. So, for me, it almost became a mission objective to restore the frame rate by killing them.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
"FIRE EVERYTHING!"
Comment below viewing threshold Show
The weapons get mental powerful after just a few levels, how much did you play?
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
No, there isn't a proper story or epic, tastefully lit cutscenes - there's just gameplay. Pure, distilled gameplay. The sort that makes games lecturers lie awake at night, shaking in terror because it's so impossible to plug into an academic framework. You might find the lack of sense or context troubling but don't panic, you can switch back to your telly and watch some adverts every half hour to get your fix of deep and meaningful characterisation.
Grab a sniper rifle, head down to the beach level and stare in awe at the giant robots stalking out of the sea. Enjoy fun again. Enjoy being ten years old and running round the woods with a machine stick making dakk-dakka-dakka noises. See how many monsters you can kill with one volley of rockets, see how quickly you can get the framerate back up by picking off the expensive meshes. (Aye... Stoatboy)
This is the least pretentious game since Space Invaders, and possibly the most fun. It makes Crackdown look sensible.
The original EG review also uses the term "Weaponised Bukkake." And if that doesn't convince you to play then, frankly, you don't deserve to have any fun. Ever again.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Every time
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I have the PS2 game and, yes, it is mindless greatness.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
the cheapo price also helped
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Not the first time it's been said, and not without truth to it, but I'd say there's a little more to it than just flawed 'games culture', or indeed that it's something that can really be avoided. I wrote something overlong and tedious on the subject, as a response to a similar viewpoint put forward by some bloke from the Grauniad about the reason for Mirror's Edge's relatively lacklustre reception over here.
It's not a brilliant article, not nearly cohesive enough, but I stand by some of the issues raised in it - primarily, that 'rewarding the familiar over novelty' is endemic to all criticism, but is inevitably overcome.
Edit: and, to be more directly on topic: EDF is awesome, though its achievements are as dreary and tiresome as the game is ebullient and wild. Some of the best fun to be had on a 360.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
edit: jstar... Without checking I think EG actually gave a 8 or a 9 for EDF originally.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
For me, It's a example of a really well tuned (whether intentional or not) arcade shooter, with the drop rate on armour and weapons being quite good enough so that it you didn't feel you had to 'grind them' inorder to progress with the game. It's not until your purposly trying to get either all the weapons or really trying for the much harder difficulty levels that you noticed the need that it's designed so that your meant to play through each difficulty level in turn, and that your tactic of how you take on the levels need to change.
It's a shame the achievements are so very finite and difficult to achieve. Although it was from the time when the Japanese really didn't understand the idea of adding achivements into the game as a gameplay hook, rather than lumpsum achievements.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
If they made GDF2 with split screen co-op and online co-op that would be perfect. Just boost the vehicles up a bit this time as they were a liability. In fact, if they let you fly to the combat zone and land where you want that would be good too.
Surely they can knock out another game? It doesn't need to look like Killzone 2 - just add online play to GDF and add a few more animations (and keep the exploding glass effect).
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Tried it again, gave it a proper chance, loved it to bits. The frenzy of destruction once you get to the higher difficulty and weapons is a sight to behold. Admittedly I end up killing most of my fellow soldiers as well as the aliens, but they knew the risks.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
If you don't like it you're dead inside.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
it also gave me one of the scariest games ever... i had put the lights out, sound on maximum on pioneer stereo, and then my two year old laid it's hand down on my knee.. i jumped in the air for miles!
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
I wiped out 10 levels progress and haven't gone back to it in frustration.
Plus awful achievements. They're literally just complete the game on easy, complete the game on normal, and so on. That's it.
Comment below viewing threshold Show
"this will teach you to dig holes in my backyard!"
cant recommend this game enough, but even my most game obssessed friends just turn their backs on just looking at the box
Comment below viewing threshold Show
...
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Also to call the graphics 'last gen' is an out and out lie. The explosions are absolutely beautiful for a start.
I haven't tried Global Defence Force and always assumed it would be hard to get hold of, howeverafter looking on Amazon I've just picked up a second hand copy for a fiver, can't wait! \o/
Comment below viewing threshold Show
Who gives a shit about graphical spanglies when there's so much *fun* to be had?
Comment below viewing threshold Show
ROFL. You can't help but feel like a kid in a sweet shop with this game, unlimited rockets, a jump button, a fire button, some rolling and MILLIONS OF ANTS AND SPIDERS AND THINGS.
Many a drunk afternoon spent with obligatory mate with too much Magners and co-op EDF.