Tenchu: Fatal Shadows Review

By John Walker Published 11 August, 2005

Hank Marvin's music claims yet more victims.

Version tested: PlayStation 2

It's time for a few scientific experiments.

1) Take a teaspoon full of antacid powder, and a shot-glass full of lemonade. Put the antacid in your mouth, and then straight away pour in the lemonade. Don't drink it, and for the sake of all things holy, don't swallow at any point. Keep your mouth closed for one minute.

2) Stand with your back against a wall. Press your heels tight against it. Now, without moving your feet, bend over and touch your toes.

3) Stay with your back against the wall. This time, without the aid of a mirror, try and look at your own face.

You're not allowed to carry on reading until you've done at least numbers 2 and 3. So you should have discovered by now that they're all impossible.

Now, while we're not fully trained ninjas at Eurogamer, we have spent countless evenings leaping about our houses dressed in pyjamas with black scarves wrapped around our faces. It's safe to say we know a fair thing or two about the flip-out ways of these mammals. And as you've already discovered for yourself, when stood with your back against a wall, what you tend to be able to see is what's in front of you. In a stealth-based game, featuring kick-ass ninjas, you'd think such a view would be offered. But when in such a position in Tenchu: Fatal Shadows, all you can bloody well see is yourself.

Perhaps that was quite a lot of effort to drive home that one point, but it's a fairly helpful example of why Tenchu: Fatal Shadows, no matter how loyal some may feel to the name, is really very stupid.

Despite a new development team, this eight-thousandth release in the seventeen-year series does not see any enormous changes from past editions. And sadly we mean those on the PS1. Graphically, as well as in terms of play, this is taking nostalgia a little too far.

'Tenchu: Fatal Shadows' Screenshot 1

Look! She's STARING AT THE FENCE! Oh, at least it's possible to see /anything/ for once.

Instead of starring regular series hero Rikimaru, Fatal Shadows brings franchise-regular Ayame to the forefront, alongside new lady-ninja Rin; the two battling against the forces of... wait, oh we forget. The forces of something simply horrid. You alternate between the two with each mission, opposing each other at first, while Rin thinks Ayame is responsible for the burning of her village, and then together once their differences have been resolved over the slaying of a mutual enemy. Hurnnghh.

Sorry - that was the noise of our giving up bothering with the astonishingly garbled and nonsensical storytelling. It's thrown at you in two ways. Firstly between missions: over some frenetically cut cartoon stills (that are the same each and every time), a narrator (sounding like the guy who announces the wins in Soul Caliber) babbles something that at best might be beat poetry. Then, secondly, crudely constructed cut-scenes feature the two ninjas moaning and squealing in OC-a-like Californian valley-girl accents about how their friend is dead, or whatever. It's utterly impossible to care.

No matter what rubbish it was trying to make you listen to, it quickly becomes clear that once more you've got to get your character from one side of a map to the other, sneaking and stealth-killing the bads as you go. The actually-quite-fun grappling hook encourages rooftop pathways as the ideal means of travel, and for as long as you don't encounter a single enemy Tenchu offers a glimmer of hope. Zipping onto roofs, leaping and somersaulting along, landing cat-like on narrow walls - it all feels like playing a fun game. But one that is inevitably interrupted by the dozens of guards stomping about wanting to kill you. The buggers.

'Tenchu: Fatal Shadows' Screenshot 2

CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! "HERE I COME MR GUARD!" Ah, ninjas.

The aim is to be stealthy in all you do. Being spotted costs you points at the end of each section, and sneaky kills are rewarded by bonuses that build toward new skills. Which is probably why it's quite so mind-breakingly strange that both Ayame and Rin seem hell-bent on charging everywhere like elephants with inner-ear infections. Trying to keep them pressed against a wall (and hence staring straight at them, arrgnnrrr) is like trying to constrain an over-tartrazined child at the park. They're inevitably going to slip from your grip, run off screaming, and wee on the slide. Or, er, alert a guard.

And as soon as this happens, suddenly the curtain of Tenchu is pulled rudely aside, the little man pulling levers revealed. Your characters are well-equipped to thrash the crap out of these guards in face-to-face melee combat, and all the tiptoeing is entirely pointless. Worse - even this combat is unnecessary. Levels can easily be completed by turning on the overlay map and moving the red triangle toward the destination as quickly as possible. The enemies are demonstrated to pose no discernable threat, no cunning puzzles block your path, and the woeful lack of inventiveness is smeared in your face.

What else now? The camera is astonishingly poor. Certainly it's potentially quite fun to plot your way to sneak up behind a bad, and take him out with the animated uber-kill. However, the tedium required to achieve this tends to make it feel like it's not worth bothering. Not having an intelligent camera in your third-person action game is poor. But going to the effort of creating one with utterly malicious intent is plain weird. Fights more often than not take place literally off-screen, while the camera zooms in on some badly drawn ivy on a nearby fence. Swinging it to see anything is an agonizing task.

Clearly you've already done the, "In a world that contains the Splinter Cell and Metal Gear Solid series, there's no excuse for a so-called stealth game like this," so let's take that as said and understood. Instead, we'll compare with the slightly more esoteric Thief: Deadly Shadows, as neither is concerned with complicated gadgets and night-vision goggles.

'Tenchu: Fatal Shadows' Screenshot 3

Ayame and Rin, distracted from their deadly fight by a bee.

Thief, while utterly brilliant, was quite a clumsy game. The hero, Garrett, did not leap nimble like a gazelle. But all the while, you felt in control. Alert a guard, and you had to quickly find darkness, hide in it, and hide in it well. Tenchu: Fatal Shadows doesn't even recognise darkness. Despite the title, and the capabilities of the PS2, lighting is irrelevant to your concealment. And despite the game's telling you that guards will ruthlessly hunt you down across entire levels, the reality is walking around a corner is enough to send them crazy with confusion, running into walls, and eventually giving you up as lost for good. Thief: DS requires that you tiptoe across hard surfaces, seeking soft grass for quieting footsteps, for fear of raising the alarm. It's after about twenty minutes of Tenchu: FS that you realise it makes no difference if you creep silently or run along, stomp your feet, bang a drum, perform a Foo Fighters medley... Just so long as you don't enter their line of sight.

Every now and then there's a glimmer, a flickering light, of hope. You'll have grappled a ledge, swung up, spotted a leap, sneaked along, rolled down, and sprung up perfectly behind a guard, brought down by one of the few stealth moves, called something like Horseradish Kickslap. And you'll feel cool. But then you'll notice that doing this has alerted two guards in distant passageways that you couldn't have seen or known about, and you'll have to choose between moving around the corner and waiting for a minute, chopping them up quickly, or ignoring them entirely and running to the level's end point. And not feel cool in the slightest.

Fans of the series... fans of the series can shut up. Having their expectations set at such a needlessly mediocre level is no reason to imply the game merits their attention more than anyone else's. With the dreadful lack of effort in the PS1-like visuals, and ghastly AI, even those with especially designed tattoos should consider their old friend exactly that: old.

4 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of John.

About John Walker

Read more articles from John by visiting the John Walker archive page.

You may also like...

Comments (85) Latest comment 7 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Bezzy #1 7 years ago

    I have no idea what the initial rant is about.

    I think what you're trying to say is "This third person game fails at being a first person game".

    But yeah. Cameras, eh? Bastards, ain't they? Sounds like there's been roughly no improvement on the previous games' cameras.
    Edited by 2 at 11/08/05 @ 13:32

  • Razz #2 7 years ago

    yeh that and Tenchu is shit anyway. :)
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 13:34

  • fireclown #3 7 years ago

    Why the lemon and antacid? sharing your pain?

    Top flaying btw.

  • Teeth #4 7 years ago

    I didn't have a great deal of trouble with the cameras in the last game, and thought it was a perfectly excellent videogame. I've never played any of the other Tenchu games.

    I can't quite see where the 4/10 has come from, and the level of sarcasm in the review seems a little out of place - things like "this eight-thousandth release in the seventeen-year series" are needless exaggeration.

    I also fail to see where you'd have seen this level of character detail or indeed texture detail on the PS1, it's a ridiculous claim.

    "called something like Horseradish Kickslap" - see? Where is the need for this kind of thing?

    Terrible review, even if the game is bad.

  • Aretak #5 7 years ago

    It was a great review, and I found it very amusing. There's no need to be stoic and serious while reviewing shit like Tenchu. It was good back on the PSone, but now it's woefully dated.

  • Eiskis #6 7 years ago

    How come Eurogamer seems to hate every game it is reviewing (except Katamari)? I love the beginning of the last paragraph, though. Fans of this series probably have other problems as well.

  • Aysir #7 7 years ago

    Wrath of Heaven was a good game. This hasn't taken any steps forward...mainly cause it changed developers. K2 no longer make Tenchu, it's made by From Software and they tried not to change too much. It's a fair enough attempt, but they really do need to push this series and maybe add a little of the flair they've shown in games like Otogi.
    I agree with teeth 'Terrible Review, even if the game is bad'

  • asphaltcowboy #8 7 years ago

    Thief DS?! Gimme! GIMME!

    ;)

  • Carrybagma #9 7 years ago

    Female ninjas=scantily dressed.
    I *do* hope her unfeasibly large Ninja breasts wobble fantastically - these details are so important.

  • kangarootoo #10 7 years ago

    I agree with Teeth on this one. Its the job of us readers to go on rants. I expect a review to provide objective information about the pros and cons of the game at hand. A few amusing quips about a weak area of the game are all par for the course, but this read far more like an EG forum post that an EG review. I have plenty of game playing friends who can rant with the best of them. Their metaphors are funnier and less self indulgent.

  • Teeth #11 7 years ago

    I just felt as if I'd been transported back to reading CVG, you know? I don't do that shit anymore.

  • jlaakso #12 7 years ago

    If all EG reviews were remotely like this, I wouldn't read the site. Not good, guys. Pointless ranting and exaggeration.

  • tiddles #13 7 years ago

    4/10 is the new 8/10

  • kangarootoo #14 7 years ago

    I hear that Teeth and jlaakso. There is an ill wind coming. I found myself posting a similar thing on the D&D delayed thread, labelling myself as some white collar member of the fun police no doubt.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 13:59

  • Midnight_Raven #15 7 years ago

    Wow, does the game actually allow you to perform a Foo Fighters medley? Now THATīS what I call innovative.

    Totally superfluous, utterly stupid and hopelessly pointless, but innovative.

  • gaijin #16 7 years ago

    kangarootoo - I wouldn't advertise that breach of fun-police uniform if I were you. Collars should be *black* :-)

    Personally the D&D story strapline didn't bother me - straplines are disposable and... actually, why *do* we have them anyway? But the story itself was straight and informative (if delayed D&D games is something you care about). However I agree about the note of axe-grinding in some recent reviews. There's a distinction between 'I am outraged and being funny about it' and 'being outraged is funny'. IMO.

    /goes to buff deathsheads on black fun-police collar

  • Riskbreaker #17 7 years ago

    "Its the job of us readers to go on rants. I expect a review to provide objective information about the pros and cons of the game at hand. "

    Bollocks. If you want boring, unimaginative and unremarkable reviews then read Edge magazine.......

    Personally I like Eurogamer for their witty, thruthful and entertaining thoughts on the game industry.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 14:17

  • ctrl-k #18 7 years ago

    How does this compare to Red ninja: end of honour?
    (picked it up cheap at sale on a whim (damn those clever chracter designers and their cleavages) and while it had *some* redeeming features, it was more or less unplayable.)

    Used to love ninja games: I have fond memories of the first Tenchu on PS1 - got the japanese version with shurikens rather than little knives unlike the Euro version - and thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the fact that Sho Kosugi had done the motion capture stuff. Seriously. Sho Kosugi!

    Having bought #2 though the magic was quickly dispelled, and I think I recall blaming the hardware - there was trouble with framerate and such, and especially the draw distance just destroyed the feeling of the game. (didn't bother me in the first one - possible because I was unused to freeroaming 3D games, or because the levels were well designed and "tight"?). In any case, I never returned to the series after that - other games did the sneak thing better, obviously, and the ninja theme in itseld just wasn't strong enough to warrant a purchase.

    Oh well, here's hoping the PSP version will blow our tabi socks off...

    /holds breath indefinitely

    ctrl-k.

  • tengu #19 7 years ago

    Yet another sub-par review from Eurogamer. After your biased coverage of the PS3 and your stupidity in not acknowledging Conker as the work of art it is, I once again find myself disappointed by you.

    Shame on you Eurogamer, shame on you!

  • Aretak #20 7 years ago

    Cock off tengu.

  • Teeth #21 7 years ago

    Oho, sarcasm - so you don't agree that this review is somewhat unprofessional?

  • tengu #22 7 years ago

    Trolls, the lowest form of tit...
    Edited by 2 at 11/08/05 @ 15:26

  • Groovicron #23 7 years ago

    Seems to tell us the high and low points of playing the game and does so in an amusing manner..... what more do you actually want from a review?

  • tengu #24 7 years ago

    I had to work at it, we can't all be comedic geniuses like you wasp.

  • Riskbreaker #25 7 years ago

    I thought that the reviewer rather eloquently expressed that Tenchu has failed to evolve in the ways that even MGS has managed with time.

    Tenchus basic concept is great but it now seems stuck in its old ways.............much like Roger Moore.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 15:53

  • CyberClaw #26 7 years ago

    I'll avoid bashing the review opinion, for I haven't played the game yet. Yet, I feel urged to READ MORE REVIEWS, to get actual information on this title. You reviewed the title for someone who never heard of Tenchu before, and prety much reviewed the series as a whole. But you didn't mention any details of this specific title. Details one might want to know. For example, personally, I loved the coop play of the last Tenchu, despite the clumbsiness of it all. Does this title offer coop? If it doesn't it's a glaring omition, since it was definitly the best part of the last Tenchu.
    These details really matter for someone thinking on buying the game (not me, at least not while it's not very budget priced).
    I'm guessing the game doesn't offer MP at all, but this could be mentioned somewhere (since the last game does have MP modes, it's like a stepback, people usually assume that squels have most of the last game's features).

    Anyway, crappy games diserve decent reviews as well ;)

  • BravoGolf #27 7 years ago

    Excellent review!
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 15:44

  • Mashum #28 7 years ago

    Having loved Tenchu back in the old days and then becoming progressively more dissapointed with the subsequent remakes I can understand where this review is coming from.

    I think that there are fair, critical points raised with the jokes in the article like the camera, the guard's deafness, the way that you can just scoot past the guards if you want and the fact that face-to-face combat is no real challenge... all good points and well made.

  • Teeth #29 7 years ago

    eliquantly, nice one there.

    It wasn't eloquent at all, it was brash and acerbic. Sun-worthy. In my opinion.

    edit: Seconded on the multiplayer there CyberClaw, it was great fun. Really enjoyed it.

    p.s. I must also say that I really don't think my opinion is swayed because of my feelings for the previous game. I just found the review a bit pathetic.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 15:48

  • Riskbreaker #30 7 years ago

    'Sun-worthy. In my opinion.'

    I've re-read the review. Cant see the word 'jugs' anywhere........sure you're not mistaken?

  • BravoGolf #31 7 years ago

    Wow, why would you find the review pathetic? I thought it raised all the issues pretty well and presented them excellently

  • penhalion #32 7 years ago

    Is John leaving Eurogamer soon only he seems to be writing reviews like a man who has been forced to work out his last week of notice!

  • PES_Fanboy #33 7 years ago

    I loved the grappling hook on the first game. Silently assassinate, then zip up to the rooftops to chortle quietly, watching the resulting carnage when his buddies find his throatless corpse.

  • CyberClaw #34 7 years ago

    Personally, the ways the guards discover you, is not up for review. That's what I call a "gameplay mechanic". They didn't make the guards less able because they couldn't make the guards hear your steps, or have a 6th sense ro whatever. It's because they wanted to balance the fun. They wanted to keep you moving forward, and stealth killing your way, only caring for their cone of vision, and not for what they can hear or not (which is way harder to control).
    This game isn't aiming for realism. It's a mechanic, I personally find funner and more "arcadey" to play, than, let's say, Splinter Cell or MGS. I'm not saying that I don't like sneaking up on guys on MGS and Splinter Cell, but usually, they are such a nuisance, that I prefer to walk clear out of their path. On Tenchu, the rules your obstacles (the guards) play by, are simple, and well defined. You know exactly what you are up against.

    That said, I find it ridiculous gaming journalists have been raving that games seem to steer to much torwards "realism" as technology evolves, both in grafics, as well as game mechanics, but then bash Tenchu, because the well defined limitations of guards (which I'm prety sure are designed to be well delimited, you know exactly when you are in danger or not) aren't realistic, and guards should be able to hear you, etc.
    I'm sure the AI in this Tenchu is as dumb, as it was in every other Tenchu made so far, but I'm also prety sure the way the guards detect you, make it a "arcade-stealth game", in that you move through the level, stealth killing way faster than in any other game, essentially, measuring you in your mastery of the simple mechanics. It's not a matter of realism, but over the top fun. Tenchu is like a Sega Rally 2, while Splinter Cell is like a Collin McRae 2. Both are racing rally games, but SEGA Rally limits the realism and the simulation, so that you can master the gameplay mechanics.

  • sephy #35 7 years ago

    Ok, I finished this game about 10 days ago in almost one sitting, so I think it's fair to say I know the game well enough to comment

    I had ZERO camera issues. But thats just me. maybe I'm just a better player eh? Oh, and seeing as this IS a ninja game, you shouldn't be able to see impossible angles anyway....3rd person or not

    From the writing style it's clear that the reviewer seems to have little intention in being fair and impartial. The whole review is exagerated beyond belief. It seems that Corey and now John have been trying to hard to make an impression and come off looking stupid. Now, Corey has improved his output (very noticably too)after his dismal Godfather feature, but reviews like this are just letting the team down.

    Ps1 visuals? The hell. While not a technical showcase (the subject matter makes it hard to be), it's certainly above average.

    Now I know reviews are subject to individual taste to a degree, and it's a "debate" that has waged on for a while. But to write a review like this which is clearly designed to be slagging the game off rather then objective is just not on. If this keeps happening people will really lose faith in the team

    D- for the review

    Personal game rating 8/10
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 16:11

  • Riskbreaker #36 7 years ago

    'I'm sure the AI in this Tenchu is as dumb, as it was in every other Tenchu made so far, but I'm also prety sure the way the guards detect you, make it a "arcade-stealth game'

    Yes. I understand what you're saying. - But is it any excuse to keep bashing out the same game with little or no improvements? I thought that the crux of the review was that little has improved or evolved.............?

    Obviously I'll keep an open mind till I play it of course............!

  • sephy #37 7 years ago

    also, what happened to not reviewing older games any more?

    This came out 3-4 months ago, and anyone interested is likely to have played it by now

  • botherer #38 7 years ago

    How do you mean, penhalion?

    JW

  • Mr_Whacker #39 7 years ago

    If this is anything like Tenchu Xbox then its lucky to get 4/10. I've never seen so much potential squandered. It was the PS1 game with new levels.

    The phrase 'Thief:DS' made me shiver until I reaslised it was just Deadly Shadows.

    PS - if any of you 'biased review' whingers want to see how lucky you are (seeing as its free and all - we used to have to pay for any kind of review, kids) then go read something on ign.

  • sephy #40 7 years ago

    the "go read ign" arguement is tosh, as both sites are funded by advertising....

  • kangarootoo #41 7 years ago

    "Bollocks. If you want boring, unimaginative and unremarkable reviews then read Edge magazine....... "

    There is a third way. A review can be witty and interesting, whilst still informing me about the game.

    Are you suggesting that this review was imaginative and remarkable? And that ranting is the only alternative the staid regurgitation of stats?

    Trying to make an argument black and white by presenting exagerated alternatives is kindergarten stuff.

  • CyberClaw #42 7 years ago

    Mr_Whacker, amazingly as it seems, Eurogamer NEVER had my trust for the back catalogue of reviews. Back a year ago, when I wanted to consult old reviews, I used IGN, because it had it's reviews more organized, nowadays, I still use it, even if Eurogamer now has the reviews organized, the IGN reviews usually mention more features, and don't devote the first 2 paragraphs to explaining today it's raining. I'm not arguing bias, I'm arguing facts. For example, IGN usually has bullet points, saying the number of levels, the features, the modes, the number of characters, etc. This is the stuff I want to read. I mostly don't give a fudge about Eurogamer, or IGN's opinion, or the reviewer's opinion on the game. I've been convinced to play many games even with bad reviews, because the concept, the ideas, the stats, etc seem what I'd like to play, and many times I do. Infortunally, like I said, you can't make a personal opinion about the game, on this review. Because this reviewer wasn't reviewing the game, but reviewing his experience playing the game. The difference is, here, we can't weed the facts from the bias (and we are all biased with our own personal likes and dislikes - so, in a review, it's quite important to mention the facts). But enough beating the dead cat.

    This is the seccond review I'm disapointed with in Eurogamer. First being DefJam Fight for NY.

  • kangarootoo #43 7 years ago

    "PS - if any of you 'biased review' whingers want to see how lucky you are (seeing as its free and all - we used to have to pay for any kind of review, kids) then go read something on ign."

    I fully agree that EG is waaaaay better than IGN (don't even get me started on Douglas C. Perry's video reviews). When I started reading EG a fair while back I was much impressed in the quality of the reviews compared to a lot of the sites out there.

    I would suggest however that the review in hand has far more in common with your typical "other website" reviews than the usual EG fare. Of course some people will be happy with more of this review style (IGN has a huge readership), but I'm not one of them and I hope this isn't the start of a trend.

  • kentmonkey #44 7 years ago

    Sorry to break it to you Mr Whacker (boy you're popular aren't you!) but you still have to pay to read reviews in the same places you always have had to \o/ However on eurogamer you never have had to so your argument is pointless. Nobody is saying they want to go to IGN, they’re just saying this review was not up to par.

    Whether you pay for them or not, it’s that writers job to write a good review that his/her target audience is going to appreciate. It appears from some of the comments on here, he hasn’t with this one and people are letting him know. Not in a willy waving “it deserves a 6 goddamn you!!!!) but in a constructive way.

    I myself have to admit, the review quality recently for me has been lower than what I’ve come to expect and in most cases, I’ve been bored reading the reviews before I’ve got to the end of them and ended up looking up the score and reading the comments. It doesn’t help when they review old games that you’ve already read upteen reviews on before they finally get there review up I suppose. It also doesn’t help that on occasions, the reviews have gone on for far too long, just because you’ve got infinite space on a web page doesn’t mean you should always look to use it.

    I think deep down EG are grateful for constructive criticism as it shows them where they might be falling short and where they need to look to improve, if they’re not then they should be. These are regular readers who they probably can not afford to lose due to advertisers wanting regular visitors. True we all leave sites and find others at times, but if people leave/are thinking about leaving due to quality of reviews/content then perhaps they need to address it. I’m not saying people are thinking of leaving but if they find it worthy to post their comments on a quality of a review and they find themselves doing that more than a few times, they might look elsewhere.

    At the end of the day, I thought the review was really poor. I know nothing about the game and the game doesn’t interest me, but the review didn’t help me learn much about the game or help me with my decision as to whether I would actually enjoy it or not. I have read better reader reviews on this very site (by the way, anybody remember them? Are they still “coming soon”?) and if somebody is being paid to write a review the quality should be higher. My customers would tell me if they felt that my standards had slipped, I assume EG and their writers expect the same. Hopefully they won’t take it too much to heart and will take the comments on board professionally, in the way in which I think everybody has intended.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 17:39

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #45 7 years ago

    "At the end of the day, I thought the review was really poor. I know nothing"

    I agree!

  • kangarootoo #46 7 years ago

    @Cyberclaw.

    Very well put indeed (thought I'm still no fan of IGN). I'm not adverse to some humour as well as factual content, the two can live in the same space.

  • urizen #47 7 years ago

    Mixed feelings about the review myself, even as a die-hard Tenchu fanboi. The camera issues are well overstated, the PS1 graphics comparison plain stoopid (even if it's still sub-par graphically, when was the last time you played the first Tenchu? It looks horrible, relatively speaking).

    Above all, I disagree with the whole 'stealth is pointless' bit - Tenchu for me still has the visceral thrill of stalking and snapping necks, and the whole stealth kill element has been greatly improved over WoH with the timing bonuses, not to mention the perennial incentive of mission ratings and bonus items. Sure enough, you don't *have to* play stealthy...but wtf would be the point? Buy Madden and complain the ball's not round.

    Having said all that, I agree about the fact it's not different enough, the valley girl voice-overs, convoluted story and silly narrator... btw, lol at the beat poet comparison ('In this land, Nasu means egg-plant; there are many delicious ways to cook an egg-plant; but you wouldn't want to eat this egg-plant, because he's a man'...wtf?). All in all, better than WoH for me(especially the level design), but can't help but wish they'd do something a bit more fecking radical.

    Tenchu-fanboi score: 8/10
    Sane score: 6/10

  • Riskbreaker #48 7 years ago

    kangarootoo.
    My 'kindergarten' comments that you quote, were aimed at the general standard of Eurogamer Articles. It is my opinion that they are on the whole 'witty, thruthful and entertaining' as I said.

    Do I think the review was 'imaginative and remarkable'?

    No I don't - and I never said so. If you re-read my message I actually implied that a 'review to provide objective information about the pros and cons' would be boring. I think the humour that eurogamer injects into their writings; add to the enjoyment of reading.

    By assuming that I thought the review was 'imaginative and remarkable' you are presenting the 'exaggerated alternatives' that you so critised me for in the first place!

    (edit: removed juvinile sentance)
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 18:22

  • TheJuriel #49 7 years ago

    I really liked the first Tenchu game, way back...except that it strayed from the ninja concept into 'just hack them to bits from the front' boss battles, and then used the ninjas against demons instead of just annoying merchants, which to me cheapened it. I still thought it was a good game for a first try, and they'd improve on it very much.

    No sequel did. Horribly rigid controls persisted, camera was at best tolerable, stupid boss battles were a constant element...if they cannot get any new ideas, let the franchise die, rather than mock its antediluvian antics further.

    The first mission of the first game is still the best bit in the whole series. And this is from a person who really wants to like the games. But they're not well-done.

    Now, about this review, having not played the game...I had no issues with it. It told the game was no good, using exaggeration because the laziness and unimaginativeness of the devs required something equal. It told me to avoid it, when I was hoping that perhaps they'd have finally done it right, so it served its purpose.

  • sephy #50 7 years ago

    The narrator is great, get over it :)

    /wonders why apparently the game actually being presented in a proper eastern mannerfor the setting is a bad thing

  • kangarootoo #51 7 years ago

    @Riskbreaker

    "(edit: removed juvinile sentance)"

    Thats pretty funny, you've won me over a bit with that. I was banging through the posts because today was busy and needed to get back to work. If I misinterpreted what you wrote then bad, but I hardly think you were being crystal clear when you started your post with

    "Bollocks. If you want boring, unimaginative and unremarkable reviews then read Edge magazine......."

    That emotive sentence kind of implies a lot about what you meant, and after you explained a bit further in your latest post, it kind of seems unrelated to your second comment about the usual quality of EGs articles (which I agree with on the whole).

    @TheJuriel

    "using exaggeration because the laziness and unimaginativeness of the devs required something equal."

    Gaaaaaahhhhh!! When will people learn. If a game sucks, in whatever way it happens to suck, you cannot possibly make assumptions about why that was the case unless you have insider knowledge. To assume that the devs were lazy or just plain crap is to oversimplify things.

    The brief from the publisher might have gone something like this.

    "Make a Tenchu sequel, nothing fancy, nothing expensive, it will sell regardless because the franchise is still strong. Chuck some slightly better graphics on top and make a few control improvements. Perhaps expanding the reward system a tiny bit would keep the reviewers happy. If you can add a new character then go for it, but you're not getting any more money."

    Probably not, but I don't know and neither do you. Making games is a business, same as making cars, building bridges and baking cakes. If you have little time, little money, and mucho interference then the end result will probably be compromised. Maybe the team had loads of time, loads of cash, absolute autonomy and the game sucked because they were lazy.... but the odds are that wasn't the case.

  • SirScratchalot #52 7 years ago

    Strange that so many would find the review lacking. I thought it ticked of the boxes of why the game failes appropriatley, bad camera(and if you look in the screenies youīll see what he means by not seeing in front of you, itīs basicly zoomed in on your alter-egos face), bad AI (no detection of sound, get confused by player rounding corners), lacking sneaking mechanics and combat and finally dated graphics as well as incomprehensible plot.
    Sure the poor sod had to vent a little but the infoīs all there.

  • kangarootoo #53 7 years ago

    I agree, but you summed up the review in just 8 lines. I haven't and won't count how many lines the actual review was, but thats a lot of venting. I'm slowly dying, just like everyone else, and if I need to spend precious minutes trawling through 3 pages of "I can write comedy, my friends told me so" guff just to get 8 lines worth of info I'm not likely to feel like I've come away with a bargain.

    Besides, as kentmonkey so succinctly put it, we are feeding back on what we the readership felt were areas for improvement. If this was a suggestion box in some high street store we would probably be a little less acidic, but most of us, [sarcasm] even me with my great self restraint [\sarcasm], are a bit more jumpy and critical when we are posting on web forums (so don't take it too hard Mr John Walker, we don't hate you really).

    Edit.
    Man I hate starting a post with "I agree, but". it makes me feel like such an big kid.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 20:11

  • botherer #54 7 years ago

    "I can write comedy, my friends told me so"

    Ooh, you're horrid.

    JW

  • kangarootoo #55 7 years ago

    OK, perhaps that was a little harsh. I'm just as guilty myself of "trying" to be funny sometimes. The style over content approach of the review kind of stuck in my throat, so I am probably way beyond being objective on this one.

  • botherer #56 7 years ago

    I can't help having so much style.

  • MightyPenguin #57 7 years ago

    "I can't help having so much style."

    No, but you *could* help not addressing any of the points raised in the thirty-odd comments prior to this.

    Just a thought.

    EDIT: Sixty odd. Christ on a bike, I don't believe I read all of that.
    Edited by 1 at 11/08/05 @ 21:45

  • Bates #58 7 years ago

    Hmmm... looks to me like he wrote a series of quips and worked the review around them, but that might just be me... or is it?

  • tenma #59 7 years ago

    I'm surprised so many people are getting so pent out of shape over the review. I found it hilarious and still garnered all the facts I needed to know about the game. I don't care so much about how many players there are, how many levels, etc. I just care about the meat and bones of the game which I think were summed up well in the entertaining review. If it had just been nothing but facts without personal opinion, I would have gotten bored of reading it by the 2nd paragraph.

  • LlamaFarmer #60 7 years ago

    I personally didn't have a problem with the review. Looking back at it, it does go over the few things in the game that work and told you the things that didn't. People are complaining about the "PS1 graphics" comment, but it doesn't really matter that these graphics couldn't be produced on a PlayStation, he's just letting us know that the graphics are bad.

    And as for the slowly dying comment, surely you'd rather spend your precious seconds being entertained than getting only the bullet pointed facts. Well, maybe not, but most people read these reviews to be entertained as well as informed. I did find it entertaining, but obviously not everyone did. I'm actually a big fan of JW, having read PCG for many a year and enjoying his budget/adventure game reviews, he seems to really care about what he's playing, and if he gets frustrated by a game, he can't help letting that show.

    Again, perhaps not everyone's idea of a good review, but I enjoyed it anyway, keep up the good work!

    LlamaFarmer

  • penhalion #61 7 years ago

    Botherer - only just got home so only just read your "how do you mean" comment. Let me clarify.

    The review seems bitter about the fact that another Tenchu game has been released and that no-one else was forced to review it.

    No real facts are given that aid the buyer in making their mind up about what type of person will enjoy the game or what was good /bad about it.

    There are many seemingly bitter jibes at aspects of the game, which are based on the reviewers personal hatreds rather than the game itself. Quips like PS1 graphics and complaining about guards hearing a kill instead of ignoring it. I'm sure if the guards had ignored the kill the remarks would have said how dumb the guards were (though that was mentiond too anyway).

    Reviews are meant to inform the reader about a subject that they and the reviewer are interested in, not be an outlet for someone having a bad day. Deciding to take out whatever personal problems are lingering, on a game they are reviewing with no regards for fact or accuracy is just plain un-professional. As you can see by a lot of the comments on this forum, such behavior only serves to drive eurogamers readers away!

  • Vin #62 7 years ago

    Does this site even ENJOY games any more?

  • Donkey81 #63 7 years ago

    It enjoys good ones.

  • tenma #64 7 years ago

    I think he totally informed the readers. Here is what i got from the read:

    -the graphics aren't good
    -the AI is dumb as rocks
    -the game uses no real lighting or sound techniques to effectively convey the stealth mood
    -the voice acting doesn't fit
    -there is no major improvement in this tenchu over the last ones
    -it has all of the flaws as previous tenchus if not more
    -the gameplay mechanics are clunky
    -only hardcore fans of tenchu will probably appreciate this title

    Instead of just writing an article in bullet points like this, he said all those things while still keeping it a fun read. So he doesn't say how many levels there are, what the name of the final boss is and give some long-winded synopsis of the previous Tenchus to get the rest of us up to speed. I think having these omissions doesn't make it a bad review in the slightest.

    He hated the game and found the gameplay frustrating. He would be doing an even great injustice if he had pretended that wasn't true. Simply giving a game a low score doesn't mean he's biased. It just means that it was a bad game (in his opinion).

    edit: And regardless of how many people he drives away (which I don't think, in reality, will be that many), he'll pull even more readers in because of the frankness of the review which is really a breath of fresh air in my book. It seems that most people don't start complaining about the reviews until the game they like is the one that gets the low score.
    Edited by 1 at 12/08/05 @ 02:24

  • SirScratchalot #65 7 years ago

    @kangarootoo-
    [Insert your favorite console here]-Sucks compared to [Insert your least favorite console here]...
    [Insert your least favorite console here] will kick all your asses!

    See, if we stick to comments such as this none of us will have to feel like a big kid...
    Now feeling like a big kid dosenīt seem so bad does it? :)

  • Lankyn #66 7 years ago

    Excellent review. This is why i personally come to eurogamer, but if you want a serious review with no humour, then here you go http://www.gamespot.com/ps2/action/tenchukurenai/rev iew.html
    It does exactly the same thing, but its less fun to read.

    /re-reads driv3r review

  • Riskbreaker #67 7 years ago

    kangarootoo - you said:
    'was banging through the posts because today was busy and needed to get back to work'

    Yeah me too, that's why my comment 'Bollocks. If you want boring, unimaginative and unremarkable reviews then read Edge magazine.......' probably came across more abrasive than originally intended.

    That's the problem with written posts, sometimes 'tongue in the cheek' humour doesn't always communicate that well (and I refuse to use 'smiley's'!).

    I think Tenma summed it up perfectly - 'If it had just been nothing but facts without personal opinion, I would have gotten bored of reading it by the 2nd paragraph', which is kind of what I was getting at too.............


  • El_MUERkO #68 7 years ago

    I loved 1 and 2 on the PS but you're right the series hasnt progressed and in fact has lost some of its ninja cool, in 2 you could sneek thru the whole level and just kill the boss in thru leet ninja style in later versions it was all about magic special moves and other arse.

    My wish is for a good developer (rockstar) to play the early games and see theres a market for a stealth game that requires stealth but isnt linear like Splinter Cell.

  • kangarootoo #69 7 years ago

    "If it had just been nothing but facts without personal opinion"

    I guess it comes down to a matter of taste. We all seem to agree that no factual information at all would be a bad, and also that dull as dishwater stat listings would also be a bad thing.

    For quite a few people the balance of this particular review didn't suit them, but then there is obviously a fair few people who found the balance (and content for that matter, I feel bad about that "I can write comedy" comment now, it was pretty childish of me) to suit their tastes.

    I think after 70 odd posts we are sailing deep into the sea of splitting hairs. In fact, we seem to be reaching that point where we all realise that and suddenly chill out. So I'm going to bale on this one and drink a nice cup of tea.

    p.s. Sorry again about that comedy comment JW. Coffee pot, black, etc.

  • Riskbreaker #70 7 years ago

    'In fact, we seem to be reaching that point where we all realise that and suddenly chill out'

    Yep, I think we've been quite civilised.

    \pours hot water onto darjeeling leaves.

  • Teeth #71 7 years ago

    Still think it was shit :)

  • Riskbreaker #72 7 years ago

    Always have to have the last word don't you teeth.... ?

    oh wait......- dammit!

  • Donkey81 #73 7 years ago

    Look, John's writing is different. You come to expect it. If it still works as a review - which, heck, it does. It's actually relatively tame compared to a lot of his other stuff - then what's the problem?

  • Teeth #74 7 years ago

    No problem; that last post was a troll. If the smiley didn't give it away then this post should do it.

  • Riskbreaker #75 7 years ago

    teeth I was being facetious
    Edited by 1 at 12/08/05 @ 11:50

  • kangarootoo #76 7 years ago

    I think teeth was responding to Donkey81 actually.

  • Vin #77 7 years ago

    "It enjoys good ones".

    Then I find the Conker review utterly without merit.

  • jiveguy #78 7 years ago

    Do people still laugh at Stuart Campbell?

  • kentmonkey #79 7 years ago

    tenma wrote: "edit: And regardless of how many people he drives away (which I don't think, in reality, will be that many), he'll pull even more readers in because of the frankness of the review which is really a breath of fresh air in my book. It seems that most people don't start complaining about the reviews until the game they like is the one that gets the low score. "

    TBH tenma, no one said he was going to drive people away, people were just expressing their opinion that they felt this review was below par. Others have said they thought it was enjoyable.

    However your last point, about people only complaining when they're game doesn't get the score they thought it deserved, er, read the threads. I've never played it and it sounds like a complete pile of what I can smell coming through my window from the farmers field at the moment, I don't think others on here have even played it, they just didn't like the review.

    It's no hardship, I didn't like the review, others didn't, some did. At the end of the day, one reviews is not enough to stop me coming here, but I might stop reading the reviews if they all turned out like this, but I don't think that's going to happen.

  • Martin #80 7 years ago

    /ignore entire thread!

  • Xavier_B_OXford #81 7 years ago

    So this game is about as impressive as the old PSone version of Tenchu basically? Tells you all you need to know about the PS2 really, doesn't it?

    Good review, terrible game.

  • kentmonkey #82 7 years ago

    Yeah Xavier, you're right. The PS2 sucks because it has crap games like this come out on it. I mean, this was the killer app for it after all, this was to the PS2 what Halo was to XBOX.

    I'm so pleased you point that out, as I've said for ages now, you should always judge a system on one game. The PS2 can't compare to any other system, as none of the other systems ever have crap games come out on them. After all, it is the PS2's fault, not the developers that this was so crap.

    You don't find crap games on the Xbox, no sirree. I own all 3 systems and the PS2 sucks. I mean, the XBox has classics like Dead Or Alive Beach Volleyball, Star Wars Obi-Wan and the amazing Galleon. And the GameCube has the amazing Dragonball games, and the awesome......actually sod it, I can't keep the sarcasm up any longer, nor can I resist the temptation to call you a monge.

    A poor game tells you all you need to know about a system, jeez! All 3 current systems are fantastic, all 3 next gen systems will be fantastic, can people stop being willy wavers now.

  • Xavier_B_OXford #83 7 years ago

    "Monge"?

  • Teeth #84 7 years ago

    Hey, it knows its name!

    How cute :)

  • Aysir #85 7 years ago

    "can people stop being willy wavers now."

    :D