Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis Review

By Tom Bramwell Published 23 May, 2006

And they represent like a motherf.

Version tested: Xbox 360

If one more person explains what a "surprising move" this is for Rockstar I'm going to pay to have sex with them and then beat them up when I get out of the car.

Why is it surprising? Look at The Warriors. That was pure vanity. They just liked the film and wanted to do something new. Like when Simon Pegg did zombies or Travolta did planes or Jade did the marathon or Cruise did Holmes. Maybe they just wanted Deborah Van Valkenburgh's phone number. A bit like Nintendo making Brain Training because its finance director had Kawashima's book on his coffee table. Except with, you know, sexual deviancy. Which, let's face it, was bound to feature.

What's actually surprising is that nobody's bothered to try this in years. Because Rockstar Table Tennis is very, very good.

Superficially it's incredibly simple. You learn everything in five minutes, and then it takes hours to master. There's a well-worked training mode, which explains how the four face buttons are mapped to backspin, leftspin, rightspin and topspin, then talks about positioning yourself and handling smashes, serves and the game's "focus" special power meter, all the while it's giving you a taste of the pace. Do a quick exhibition match to get the feel and you're set. Everyone's played table tennis anyway so it's obvious how it all works and the game respects that.

'Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis' Screenshot carmen

Carmen takes on Liu Ping. Yes. I suspect they thought of his name first then made the game.

It evolves so quickly. Timing's key, and the timings are really well judged; the harmony's such that you can usually tell when you've missed a ball before it's actually flashed past. You can feel it go. You quickly figure out that with aiming and movement both mapped to left-analogue you're going to put yourself out of position if you hold it one way too long. Player movement is deliberate and recovering is hard when you over-extend, but like the shot system it's all logical and intuitive. You never feel as though you lost because the game messed up; you lost because you didn't react quickly enough, or because you were caught out of position. When the ball brushes the net and your player lunges forward you lunge forward with them, and then if it doesn't work out you laugh or curse the sport, not the game.

Rockstar's very smartly taken a couple of things out of your hands - so you can't stab at shots that your opponent's over hit, which would cost you points in a real match, and your player simply adapts to edged balls or those that brush the net. Providing you're in a decent enough position, you'll be able to return them anyway. There's a wonderful system governing whether smashes go in or out, too. When you go to play a shot you can hold down the button to charge it up as you direct it with left-analogue, and as you do this the pad starts to vibrate. If the vibrations are mild, you'll land it on the table no matter how far you're pushing; if the vibrations are strong, you're heading off-table and need to compensate. When the hard vibes kick in just as you're about to launch a shot, it's a delightful panic.

The subtleties are quickly ingrained. You start to throw "focus" shots into play to find tighter angles on spinning returns or to add a bit of menace to a topspin forehand. You reach for the left shoulder bumper to modify your returns into dropshots. You toy with the service meter, which has two little lines moving up and down at different speeds to represent speed and spin, and even if you're rubbish at real table tennis you learn how to read the play and react to different types of shot - and before you can say "don't stop it with your foot you'll break it" you're wiping the floor with the low-end opposition.

'Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis' Screenshot sven

Let's be honest, FIFA 2006 would've been fine if it was Sven's ARM that looked like that and not his FACE.

All the systems are balanced and the graphics do their job brilliantly. To begin with you might need to keep an eye on the coloured aura of the spinning ball so you can do the mental blue=left equation and respond accordingly. After a while you just see it. You watch your opponent closely and plan ahead, figuring if you can get them to spin it this way next you can play a tight rightspin shot to catch them totally off-balance. You can't do anything that seems impossible. You can't win against tougher opposition if you don't concentrate on your footwork and timing. You pick characters to match your approach - I'm better with the Japanese girl Kumi because she can spin the ball out wide a lot better, for example, and is much better against lumbering blokes as a result. The girls are more evenly patched for pace. Push hard for a while and your focus meter tops out and you go into a sustained power-mode that speeds things up considerably; when you're both there it's intense, and so much more of a tightrope than any other racket sports videogame.

It's perfect for online play, and the online play's excellent. The pace is ridiculous, but the connection keeps up - I have no idea how it's doing it, but I never had a problem with lag or prediction or any of the other things people in my Counter-Strike clan used to complain about in garrulous antipodean. You can play ranked matches, shoot for a high spot on the leaderboard (with weekly tournament-style boards too), and failing that you can just play two-player with another pad. The only thing missing is doubles, and although that might have been nice it really didn't bother me. Given the price, you can expect a decent range of opponents to face off with too.

Also, lord, it's about time somebody gave up on all this create-a-player stuff, isn't it? Well done Rockstar. I don't care about having some alien-face-oh-sod-it-randomised peon with my name on it playing my shots. I like having a simple range of made-up players to mock. I like that Cassidy looks a bit like a mouse with devil eyes and Luc's got a rubbish ponytail. It reminds me of picking Jethro in Micromachines because I liked his picture. You don't upgrade stats. You can change shirts - and you might want to given how visibly sweaty the players get - but you don't have to care if you're not using special Adidas water bottle with the +2 spin. They don't need a rubbish pre-rolled personality. You've got one anyway! Well, you've got a personality. Personally I think you're lovely.

'Rockstar Games presents Table Tennis' Screenshot liu

Go Liu! Oh, actually, I do need to.

There just isn't much to complain about. The only thing, if I have to be mean, is that with just four single-player tournaments to bash your way through it's not going to keep you picking away meaningfully for that long - although the range of achievements to gun for might extend that a bit. It needed some silly little arcade tasks, like Virtua Tennis. I love it, but I want more things to do with my love. I want tickling as well as sex.

Even so. Some games are just about the playing. They're about contesting a 70-shot rally with some bloke on the internet and squeaking every time the ball brushes the net or you scramble to block a smash. And then laughing about it together afterwards. Table Tennis is really good at this. You can't be good unless you practice, and you can't help but love it once you get good.

Fine, it's simple. It's never going to be a £50 game, but even Rockstar knows this, which is why it costs half that. It doesn't matter. It's fun from the start until the early hours when you realise you've got to get up the next day and write the stupid review. And if you can't fit a table tennis table in your lounge (and I bloody can't), it's the next best thing. It's the sign of a great sports game when you can't think of anything you'd want to change in the next version. It doesn't need another version. If Rockstar's decision over whether to make more of these vanity side projects wobbles precariously, then we must all band together around them, shielding them from the winds. This is brilliant, whichever way you spin it.

9 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (104) Latest comment 6 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Tiiti #1 6 years ago

    o_0

  • Tomo #2 6 years ago

    Wow.

  • ralphwolfenstein #3 6 years ago

    I knew this was going to be amazing! Can't wait until Friday:)

  • Tomo #4 6 years ago

    Let me elaborate... WOW.

    No, I mean after this mornings 7.8 from IGN this is a shock.

    Nnrgghhhh! X360 is getting too good!

  • Ignatius_Cheese #5 6 years ago

    Glad to hear someone enjoyed the experience. Glad to see EG producing reviews that have true, personal opinions in there. Kudos

  • Ceatlan #6 6 years ago

    Excellent.

    I've had this on pre-order since the preview on this site, now I can't wait for delivery.

  • Dizzy #7 6 years ago

    Woah! Nice guys.. didn't expect this. I love real tabletennis so... ORDER NOW! (was actually waiting for your review)

  • space_ace #8 6 years ago

    great!

    but what's with the first paragraph?

  • speedjack #9 6 years ago

    ralphwolfenstein...

    I swear I was just typing EXACTLY the same thing !

    Roll on Friday !

  • DarthCheesiest #10 6 years ago

    Table tennis death moves mod, hopefully you will also be able to unlock a baseball bat.

  • morriss #11 6 years ago

    Fan-fucking-tastic! I really hoped this would be good.

    /preorders

    @Tom: garrulous antipodean - nice! :)

  • The_Aardvark #12 6 years ago

    Yay for simple games!

    Yay!

  • Tomo #13 6 years ago

    "It reminds me of picking Jethro in Micromachines because I liked his picture. "

    Fantastic line! ;]

    Jethro ftw!

  • Darkedge #14 6 years ago

    sound good - shame I don't care for table tennis

  • Huntcjna #15 6 years ago

    FUCK YES!

    /reads review

  • TripSkyway #16 6 years ago

    Crazy, curse you and your posative review. I had no intention of buying this until I read your review. Wonder when it's out in Hong Kong.

  • Talha #17 6 years ago

    It is hard to imagine a happier person than me right now. Even though i don't have a 360...

  • Huntcjna #18 6 years ago

    What a superb review! :)

    Not even because of the score but because the writing was so positive and really got across Tom's love for the mechanics.

    I'll see you all in the EG table tennis online tournament cup at the weekend. :D

    PS: Can anyone confirm you can use the second stick instead of the buttons for shots? I had read that was possible and was really looking forward to it.

  • Jimster71 #19 6 years ago

    Damn, I'll have to go and buy a 360 now!

  • gamingdave #20 6 years ago

    Excellent, had high hopes for this, and looks like they've done wonders

  • morriss #21 6 years ago

    @huntcjna: I read that too. After FN3, me loves 'stick only'.

  • tiddles #22 6 years ago

    How well does 2 player on the same machine work? Does it matter which end of the table you are playing at (I presume there's no splitscreen-type setup...)?

  • UncleLou #23 6 years ago

    Brilliantly written review.

  • manuel_garcia #24 6 years ago

    Fantastic review, no bullshit, all the information thats needed, and gives a good vibe for the game. More like this! :)

  • Wrestlevania #25 6 years ago

    "When you go to play a shot [...] the pad starts to vibrate. When the hard vibes kick in [...] it's a delightful panic."

    Sony are fooling themselves if they think a tilt sensor is more important than such tactile feedback.

    I'm really looking forward to trying this game. It'd be great to see Rockstar put a demo out on Live as well--I'm sure plenty of skeptics would be instantly converted.

    Well-written review, too.

    Edit: Stylee.
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 12:41

  • JonFE #26 6 years ago

    Do the female characters get "visibly sweaty" and to what extend?

    :-)

    Ooh, come on; don't shoot the messenger... Someone had to ask; it is Rockstar we're talking about here, after all...

    All in all, I'm really glad to hear it came along nicely. To be honest, I was looking forward a couple of trustworthy reviews before ordering.

  • mr_steve100 #27 6 years ago

    That's the sort of review I want to read - personal touches of love or hate. I haven't got a 360, but this may well be something I'll get with it very shortly (as a birthday present to myself).

    Yeah, and I'm wondering what the two-player offline mode is like. From all the screens I've seen (which isn't many), it looks very much like a one-player game.

  • Eighthours #28 6 years ago

    Good review, glad to see that Tom "got it" completely.

    When you're playing online, are you always at the bottom of the table?

  • ilmaestro #29 6 years ago

    This is well and truly bought. Best EG review I've read in ages.

  • Darren #30 6 years ago

    I'm sure the game is wonderful to play but 9/10 for a sports game with no decent single player mode?!? Even the price is no excuse as it's still nearly the cost of most full-priced Xbox/PS2 games and lacks longevity unless you only play multiplayer games. And the lack of a player creation tool means that you'll be facing the exact same 11 opponents over and over and over and over again and more than likely playing against the same player as yourself online!!!

    IGN marked the game down for it's lack of single player mode and gave it 78%, which sounds like a fair score to me given the game's lack of game modes.
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 12:47

  • Totoriko #31 6 years ago

    IGN are idiots!

  • Lukus #32 6 years ago

    heh heh, he said peons, like rooney, chuckle

  • morriss #33 6 years ago

    Football's all about opinions though isn't it?

  • richardiox #34 6 years ago

    Any news on a potential Wii version? Would make sense.

  • The-Bodybuilder #35 6 years ago

    @Ledil "/summons Blerk"

    Is this a j-rpg?

  • Scientist #36 6 years ago

    "Any news on a potential Wii version? Would make sense."

    Would look shit and that's half the point of this game (sweat, cloth movement).

  • Yossarian #37 6 years ago

    if this is cheap, I am getting it!

  • Stickman #38 6 years ago

    Bugger. Now I have to buy a 360.

  • morriss #39 6 years ago

    @frod: :D

  • TwistidChimp #40 6 years ago

    Hooraaay!, just goes to show you really cant spell ignorance without ign.

    /checks pre-order status.

  • AtomicBanana #41 6 years ago

    '@Ledil "/summons Blerk"

    Is this a j-rpg?'

    It's Blerk so... yes? :]

  • urban #42 6 years ago

    its a cool idea i like :)

  • Triggerhappytel #43 6 years ago

    Well done on an excellent review. Nicely summed up the game's mechanics, as well as outlining how it plays and feels. A 360 is looking like a more & more likely prospect as the months go by...

  • Perry #44 6 years ago

    Well written review and 98% of comments were good as well, apart from some idiot Darren (now ignored) who thinks because IGN marked it down EG got it wrong.

    Must admit, I am now 100% certain to get a 360. Just can I wait for my predicted price drop.....

  • Darren #45 6 years ago

    "It's the sign of a great sports game when you can't think of anything you'd want to change in the next version. It doesn't need another version."

    So you wouldn't have thought to add a proper career mode, a doubles mode and more players to choose from then seeing as you're against the create-a-player feature? /wink/

  • gizmo #46 6 years ago

    lol @frod, I clicked the link and burst out laughing in work :)

  • OnlyMe #47 6 years ago

    Wow, so Sensible Soccer 2006 or Table Tennis? (Not really a question, I'm gonna pick Sensi off the shelf as soon as it's released. And I'll probably stand in line to get it too).

    Two cheap games to look forward to.

  • kaosridder #48 6 years ago

    Darren - reasonable points. I would very much have liked an extensive tournament for this game too BUT that would most definately have made it "pricier". Perhaps they considered making it an arcade game at first, but then changed their minds?

  • Triggerhappytel #49 6 years ago

    @ LeDilettante

    I would be *very* surprised if the 360 doesn't have at least a small price drop before this Winter, when the other 2 consoles are launching (is that right for Wii? I'm not sure of the exact date). Particularly given that the Wii will probably go on sale for a similar price point to the Gamecube (about £130, if I remember correctly).

  • alpha-0ne #50 6 years ago

    for me ign felt exactly the same way as this review but they took marks off for having no season mode etc.

    but they didnt take into account the reduced price

  • Putty-Man #51 6 years ago

    Nice review, I like simple games that are easy to pick up, addictive, and hard to master. Perfect for quick sessions online with mates or post pub instead of pro evo.

    Glad Tom liked it as IGN was getting me down this morning, shame on me.

  • Darren #52 6 years ago

    "...apart from some idiot Darren (now ignored) who thinks because IGN marked it down EG got it wrong."

    @Perry - Oh well excuse me for daring to have a personal opinion!!! LOL

    I didn't say EG were wrong at all, I haven't even played the game yet so how would I know? The review itself seems very fair but I can't agree with the score at the end that's all... /wink/

    I gave my reasons why I thought IGN's score seemed fairer - I'm someone who prefers games that offer decent single player modes but Table Tennis was clearly made with multiplayer in mind, something that is less important to me but might be fine for people who like to just play a game for an hour at a time.

    I'm still getting the game, the price makes it very tempting, but I'm a bit disappointed that the game doesn't offer more for a solo player like me but at least I have the Achievements to aim for...
    Edited by 2 at 23/05/06 @ 13:46

  • Stickman #53 6 years ago

    Dude, stop /wink/ing at everyone. Sexual terrorist.

    For what it's worth, I'm also disappointed about the lack of decent single player 'career'. Barely any of my mates are that into gaming, apart from a bit of PES after closing time. It'll be hard to convince them to try this.

  • lefizz #54 6 years ago

    Dont hold your breathe for a 360 price drop, not when the ps3 will be £425 and MS are loosing money on it anyway. There will only be a drop if a) sales slow down b) they reduce manufacturing costs c)Sony drop there prices. As it stands with a great line up of games and loads more quality titles on the way the 360 is selling it self in a way even with halo the xbox never did. I think in most part due to thefact there are a range of games on 360 rather than just shooters and racer that the original seemed to only attract.

  • alpha-0ne #55 6 years ago

    darren the game is £15 cheaper than every other game, its not like rockstar are trying to rip us off

    the gameplay is great and cannot be faulted, i an many others are happy to pay less and have less of a game
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 13:55

  • Carrybagma #56 6 years ago

    Rockstar does ping-pong? And gets a nine?!

    I feel ill.
    This is some sort of sick, twisted joke.

    /seeks medical assistance

  • Darren #57 6 years ago

    "darren the game is £15 cheaper than every other game, its not like rockstar are trying to rip us off"

    @alpha-0ne - Yeah, I know. It's only costing me £23.75 from Gameplay.com, it's just that I'd gladly have paid an extra £10 to have had a more fleshed out game that's all with a career mode, a create-a-player tool and doubles matches, etc., etc. But it would seem that I'm the only one that thinks that though... unless the other reviews from GameSpot, etc. say that too...

    I'm still looking forward to playing the game though but I've a feeling it won't last me as long as Top Spin 2, a game I'm still playing extensively after several weeks...

  • #58 6 years ago

    I'm sorry Darren, but c'mon!
    At one point you have a go at the reviewer for the score and the next you say "I didn't say EG were wrong at all, I haven't even played the game yet!!!"

    One moment you are critisising the game for being too short with no carreer mode and the next you're complimenting it for the price!

    Has the entire point of the price vs. game content/experience thing passed you by? That is the WHOLE point!

    Reviews will always be subjective of course, but you can express an opinion without contradicting yourself.

    Personally, I wasn't considering thi game until I read the review. Obvioulsy it has many good elements, and that attracts me to it a lot. I can totally see this as a 'party' game that I will sneakily play for hours on end alone or on Live so that I can whop my mates next time they come over (or next time I play then on Live). Considering the price and what the game delivers I am now ver very tempted to use up all those GAME loyalty points on it (I just bought 360s there OK!?).

    However, a recent trip to game wa quite shocking. "Destroy All Humans" new for £15 you say - damn. Lot of other titles for similar prices too. Sure is a good time to pick yourself up an xbox bargain!

  • symmetry #59 6 years ago

    @Darren.

    Just imagine the 9/10 as 8.5/10 and it's a lot closer to IGN's score :)
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 13:53

  • Stormflood. #60 6 years ago

    idiots maybe, corrupt for sure. IGN's scores are all over the shop. There is a sense of backhanders going on.

    Do they also have the massive double-banner adverts for this game splashed over their site too? Kerr-ching!

    edit: obviously not if they gave it 7.8...
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 14:00

  • Darren #61 6 years ago

    @jamesphilp - Why can't I compliment the price and voice my concerns at the game being too short for solo players?

    Most Xbox 360 games are overpriced anyway so any game less than £39.99 RRP is going to get praise from me for its lower pricepoint! In my opinion all Xbox 360 games should cost £34.99 RRP or less but that's a discussion for another day...

    £30 is hardly budget priced though when you consider that most full-priced PC games cost that and anyway I'd always thought the lower price was to tempt people to buy a table tennis game, something most people probably wouldn't do had it been £45-£50 RRP, not an excuse to make a shorter game...
    Edited by 2 at 23/05/06 @ 14:46

  • Eighthours #62 6 years ago

    For what it's worth, I'm also disappointed about the lack of decent single player 'career'. Barely any of my mates are that into gaming, apart from a bit of PES after closing time. It'll be hard to convince them to try this.

    Ever heard of a thing called Xbox LIVE? ;)

    A 360 without LIVE is like a Wii without a Wiimote.

  • El_MUERkO #63 6 years ago

    "sensi or table tennis?"

    they're both budget priced, you could get them both for 51.98 on play.com, play sensi with your mates and play table tennis on the net :)

    "Jethro"

    i used to pick him too, he had cool dreads
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 14:16

  • EuroTV #64 6 years ago

    Sounds like a must buy, if only for the online play, and cheap.

  • Lubey #65 6 years ago

    I had a strange compulsion to buy this as soon as i heard about it. The fact its turned out to have great gameplay is a bonus.

    Think this is going to get way more play with my mates than any other game i own. I remember the good old days of Virtua Tennis on Dreamcast, we played that to death.

  • kangarootoo #66 6 years ago

    @Darren

    "In my opinion all Xbox 360 games should cost £34.99 RRP or less but that's a discussion for another day..."

    I'm sure how you factor "should" into any of this. Games cost what people are prepared to pay, just like cars, mobile phones and turnips.

    Value to the consumer is something we as consumers decide. The sellers job is to predict that value, not set it.

  • Darren #67 6 years ago

    @kangarootoo & ManicMinerUK- My "ideal" price point for Xbox 360 and, indeed, all console games really is based on how much a typical full-priced PC game costs, which is £34.99 RRP. Developers must surely take as long to make games for the PC as the consoles yet console owners are typically asked to pay £5-£15 more, often for the same game! Why?

    So my perception of value for money stems from how much I generally pay for PC games (online I pay around £25, shops £30-£35) so a £30 "budget" Xbox 360 game isn't really a budget game at all to me. Certainly I would not consider Table Tennis an impulse buy if I had to buy it from my local GAME shop for £29.99... £19.99 maybe but not £29.99...

  • #68 6 years ago

    Darren.
    Apart from ignoring simple economics by your argument, you can get Table Tennis for £25 from amazon pre-order right now. Still not tempted?

  • Darren #69 6 years ago

    @jamesphilp - You've obviously missed what I said earlier... I've *had* Table Tennis pre-ordered for over a month now... £23.75 from Gameplay.com with a 5% discount, which is sufficiently near my £19.99 budget price to have made it a tempting buy!!!

    Mind you I was expecting a proper career mode when I pre-ordered it, akin to that of Top Spin 2, but sadly that is not to be...

  • Yossarian #70 6 years ago

    also don't think you're smart just because you worked 'this is brilliant, whichever way you spin it' into a tennis review

  • Darren #71 6 years ago

    Well we should be paying less for Xbox 360 games then because I've lost count of the number of games that I've bought for it that had bugs/glitches that required (or do require) a patch to fix them... e.g. Ridger Racer 6 (Windows Media Connect bug that slows down online games), Call of Duty 2, Ghost Recon: AW, Perfect Dark Zero, Oblivion, etc. etc. I'm not 100% convinced that Xbox 360 games go through any sort of quality control either! LOL
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 16:57

  • #72 6 years ago

    Darren
    So if you've got it preordered, for a price you can live with - what's with the bitching and moaning!? Suddup already!

    EDIT: What was the patch for Oblivion? I didn't notice.
    Edited by 1 at 23/05/06 @ 16:58

  • Darren #73 6 years ago

    Because it doesn't have a lengthy single player mode!!! How many more times do I have to say it? Don't people bother reading properly these days...? /rolls eyes/

  • Darren #74 6 years ago

    P.S. There isn't a patch for Oblivion yet but there is one on the way... apparently... to fix the caching issue and the numerous quest bugs, etc.

  • tengu #75 6 years ago

    I always looked at Table Tennis as a lazy bastard's version of Tennis. How lazy do you need to be to play a Table Tennis video game? :)

  • #76 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #77 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #78 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #79 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #80 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #81 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • #82 6 years ago

    Do't you roll your eyes at me darren! :p
    All I'm saying is it's a bit obnoxious to complain about a game that has a limited single player experience when it has a reduced price expressely to compensate for this issue.
    I know you don't think that £30 is cheap, but you cannot argue that £30 is reduced - it IS! It is less than the average, this might not be the price you waant but it is still LESS! Your issues with suppy/demand/price mechanics are pretty much entirely separate.
    It is a 'smaller' game. It is a 'smaller' price. - Simple enough?
    /rolls eyes!

  • crisotunity #83 6 years ago

    @Darren - for the sake of your sanity, don't argue against rabbid fanboys who seriously believe that select developers (like RockStar) have to pay for their dev kits...

    And it's nice to know that the FUD coming out of some developers, Microsoft and Sony has worked so well (just google and you'll find plenty of nonsense about "how this next-gen is going to push costs through the roof and why won't someone think of the children...";). Meanwhile, on planet Earth, DVD prices are tumbling (in real terms) even though films are becoming more CGI-heavy and expensive to produce.

  • EuroTV #84 6 years ago

    wow how do you manage to do 7 repeats by accident? I'm inspired.

  • Helios #85 6 years ago

    Buying this :D

  • Xypher #86 6 years ago

    And to believe I laughed when I first read about it... and laughed again when I saw a poster for it.....

    I feel so ashamed.



    Is it it me or does the X360 seem to be getting more attractive these days?

  • neosalad #87 6 years ago

    pre ordered now. not bad for £24.99, i was holding on to see reviews for this incase it was a turkey, cos i had been impressed with everything i had seen of it.. and for the price too!!!
    cant wait for this to arrive through the letterbox...!!

  • MrGrumpy.au #88 6 years ago

    I always looked at Table Tennis as a lazy bastard's version of Tennis. How lazy do you need to be to play a Table Tennis video game?

    @tengu, the 360 would be very lazy and on the new Nintendo a wii bit less.

    /Puts on flame retardant suit on and grabs the garden hose.
    Edited by 1 at 24/05/06 @ 01:37

  • BartonFink #89 6 years ago

    /ponders
    Have some of these people ever played table tennis?

    I doubt it!

    Anyhew definately one to be added to the ever growing 360 collection.

  • blicko #90 6 years ago

    Great review, Tom.

  • ali-uk #91 6 years ago

    I wonder why there isn't a create-a-player - seems kinda mandatory doesn't it? A decent degree of customisation is expected these days, and yes I like it in a game. Looks like a fun game though, but not really a 9.

  • Yossarian #92 6 years ago

    TeamXbox reviewed it somewhere between IGN and EG ... 8.5.

  • pomegran #93 6 years ago

    Ok, I'm looking forward to this but the reviewer must get a grip. Talks absolute sh*te for most of it. Is he 12 or something?

  • trousers #94 6 years ago

    "Ok, I'm looking forward to this but the reviewer must get a grip. Talks absolute sh*te for most of it. Is he 12 or something?"

    Why yes he is. All Eurogamer staff are under 13 but it's been kept under wraps for years.

    They operate from a tree hut in Kristan's back garden and get paid in Curly Wurlys and Sherbert Dib Dabs.

    You have exposed their secret. Well done you.

  • Satan #95 6 years ago

    Excellent game. Worth more than almost all of the other 360 games out at the moment.

  • Chewy #96 6 years ago

    Good review. Just preordered from Amazon for £25. I get a £5 voucher as well, which I'll put towards Battlestar DVD. Such a geek!

  • fawe3 #97 6 years ago

    "The only thing, if I have to be mean, is that with just four single-player tournaments."

    Thats realy low, replyability must be crap. :( Then again its not full price game.

  • Bunda #98 6 years ago

    This looks really good.

  • #99 6 years ago

    fawe3
    I think the essence of the replayability is not these campaigns, but the perfectionist attitude of some gamers, and the fact that this game is probably going to be a hoot over Live/multiplyer in your living room. How many people do you know who still play really old Fifa games - not because they haven't already won every tournament 3 times over , but because it's just so much fun when you have mates round? - Add in the Live service, and that kind of experience can be had even if you have no real fiends!
    /Thinks - "Live" in your living room, hmm.

  • ice_freezer #100 6 years ago

    I liked the review, nicely done. Uber positive though = some might get frustrated.

  • Satan #101 6 years ago

    Yeah, the replayability is obviously in the gameplay. There's no need for padding it out with loads of tournaments.

  • Darren #102 6 years ago

    I got the game yesterday and it is indescribably awesome to play and insanely addictive. I've only been playing it offline so far, mostly to practice so I don't lose too many games online, but I'm struggling with the first tournament! I've beaten the first two opponents easy but Jesper is a tough bugger to win!

    I still think it's a shame that there aren't more players especially as the ones there are play noticeably different from each other. Even 20 players would have been nice but as it is I'm getting a wee bit bored of seeing the same few players already. Whatever though, it's still a fantastic not-quite-budget game and I'm enjoying it immensely at the moment even though I'm not sure how look the "buzz" will actually last...
    Edited by 2 at 26/05/06 @ 10:33

  • Kiigan #103 6 years ago

    I gotta respectfully disagree with the enthusiastic folk here... I've had it for nearly a day now and I find it quite unplayably dreadful.

    I was enjoying myself on the easy tournament until an utterly insane difficulty spike in the form of Jesper just ruined it all. It's harder challenges like this (which I didn't ask for - remember, I chose to play on Easy) that show up how scrappy and unintuitive the controls really are - it never becomes automatic, it never becomes muscle memory. After a day with the game, I still feel like I'm learning it.

    The fuzziness of it all - often your character is in the right area to hit the ball, but he just falls or fumbles like an idiot - will have you shouting at your TV and blaming the game for being shit, instead of blaming yourself for not having ninja reflexes.

    Just... horrible. I know, I know - if I can't beat the third character in the game on easy, I must not be awesome enough to play this game. Fine, I'm not awesome enough. And this game isn't awesome enough to get my 30 quid.

  • TotalBB #104 6 years ago

    @Kiigan: I had lots of problems beating Jesper as well. So I started a new tournament and played AS Jesper. Then it was a breeze.

  • #105 6 years ago

    Ah Jesper.

    Try going to his backhand!

    The beauty in simplicity.

    Great game, well worth the £5 I paid for it (GAME loyalty card points come in very handy from time to time!)

    I for one am a amassive fan for the decision not to use the create-a-player thing. I love building an affinity with a game character - trying them all out, seeing which one fits you best. When you create characters often you have to pick stats etc, that end up being wrong or unsuitable. I get the same feeling when selecting a character in TT that I did with "Everybody's Golf" on the PSP. Tactical selection for multiplay is also very cool (a bit like beat-em-ups).

  • Tweakmonkey #106 6 years ago

    Played the demo and thought it was boring :-/