Classic NES Series: Metroid Review

By Kristan Reed Published 13 January, 2005

Same old Samus: see her stripped down to her 8-bit threads inside!

Version tested: GameBoy Advance

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Having struggled to come to terms with the concept of paying more than your average budget price for Dr. Mario and Castlevania, we thought we'd be slightly more tempted by Metroid. After all, this is the consistently brilliant series that has in recent years brought us two excellent Cube and GBA titles, not to mention the seminal SNES classic back in those prime days of 2D. This reviewer was genuinely taken with the idea of rewinding to where the series began, to see what he'd missed in his gaming youth. Now now, there's no need to toss missiles at your humble correspondent; it's just this one was too busy messing around with tape loading errors, colour clash, rubber keyboards and the like to have ever afforded that glamorous NES thing. No sir. In the 80s, more or less the only thing Nintendo succeeded with in Europe was the Game & Watch and a Donkey Kong arcade cabinet in every local chippie up and down the land. The prospect of playing the very first Metroid was as much of a history lesson to the likes of yours truly as it probably is to most people reading this. Given how much love we have for a lot of Nintendo's 8-bit output we were almost excited. This was to be a voyage of discovery.

Imagine our surprise when we discovered how little we enjoyed the whole thing. In a modern context it simply can't hold its own, and in many respect is barely even playable, which at least many of the other NES 'classics' could lay claim to, however simple their gameplay actually was. Not only that, there's a very shambolic look and feel to it that we can't really imagine being all that impressed with even back then. Damn; it was all looking so promising. You'll wonder a) what on earth was the fuss about back in the 80s, and b) why did Nintendo see fit to re-issue something as creaky as this as a standalone purchase? Presumably the brand is deemed strong enough on its own, but that's not the point.

Sounds promising, but don't trust ears

'Classic NES Series: Metroid' Screenshot 1

In many respects, when you break down Metroid to it component parts it evidently shares many of the game mechanics which made the Cube incarnations of the series an absolute joy. On paper it sounds promising. Back in those heady days of 1986, Samus Aran's mission was to infiltrate the space pirates' home planet of Zebes and destroy the Metroid life form threatening to destroy the galaxy. You guide her around alien chambers, jumping and rolling around screen after screen, dodging and destroying enemies, gathering power-ups and blasting until you eventually meet all-powerful bosses.

It sounds a straightforward enough premise that could and should work, but after a few minutes it feels so hollow and basic now that it's a bit like those piss take Degenetron radio adverts from GTA San Andreas. They really were ripping it out of games like this and for good reason; it'd take a suspension of disbelief so powerful to really glean any real enjoyment out of the game these days that you'd probably be out cold for a week.

Before we note the uninspiring-for-the-time visuals (because that's a bit like observing that a one-legged man can't run very fast), it's the gameplay that's really to blame for our rueful exasperation more than anything. If it was fun to play or somehow entertaining on its own merits in 2005 then we could all look beyond its technical disabilities, but in truth, divorce yourself from the game's now-legendary status and all you see is an unforgiving, nightmarishly repetitive platform shooter that is about as appropriate in the hands of a modern gamer as a Camberwell Carrot in the hands of Queen Elizabeth II. Don't bogart that joint, Liz. The Beefeaters are getting agitated.

When retro is just so... retro

'Classic NES Series: Metroid' Screenshot 2

Okay, maybe that's stretching it. We're sure your desire to wade through all these alleged barriers to entry will be high to begin with. It must be tough for gamers brought up on slick 3D worlds to grasp how the ancient supposed 'classics' were somehow exciting and cutting edge. To be fair to the young 'uns, we're not entirely sure how Metroid fits into this category either, and that's with the benefit of looking at it through the eyes of an 80's gamer.

At first glance it does initially just seem like a much stripped down version of the modern day classic. It even kicks off with the familiar jingle with Samus appearing in the teleporter. It all feels right. You're jumping around, firing furiously at enemies, picking up power-ups, working your way through room after room, and bit-by-bit you'll lose health and nooooo! Ten, 15 minutes or more of gaming goes down the toilet and you're back to the beginning because of some arbitrary death - largely as a result of a sluggish jump mechanic that would be unacceptable after the first screen were it a new game. You'll maybe get a bit further, but you'll have to endure the same frustration again and again just to make even minor headway. It's simply not a lot of fun in the first place, never mind repeating the whole process until you start losing the will to live. It's the sort of game that thinks it's okay to bin your hard won progression, but starting over minus the upgrades twenty odd rooms back is just more hassle than most people can possibly stand. If you can stand it, we salute you, but we'd offer a cast iron guarantee that most of you won't be able to. You'll just want it to stop and to go onto a decent handheld version of Metroid. Like Zero Mission, which is basically an expanded take on this anyway, and includes an unlockable copy of, well, this alleged £14.99-worth of 8-bit retrogaming, if you're that determined to see what it's like.

As we've already hinted the visuals, on a fundamental level, are pretty awful - even for their era. Many of us will attest to having been brought up on more accomplished stuff that's long been forgotten down the years, and it's fair to say this would have elicited a fairly unimpressed response 18 years ago, and now it's just so fugly it just reinforces how far Nintendo has come. But, hey, presumably no-one's here for the artistic spectacle, and if you are, more fool you. Even so, this is truly dire stuff with dreadfully uninspired character art, a succession of almost incredibly uninspired and practically identical rooms and environments often consisting of little more than basic platforms in sickeningly lurid colour schemes that boggle the mind. Seriously, even Dragon 32 owners will have a hard time keeping their lunch down. As for audio, don't even ask the question. Just don't.

Death to Eurogamer!

After all this we're convinced that quite a few real aficionados will claim this is all heresy and get all upset as they always do, but it'd take a special kind of person to really enjoy Metroid in this form these days. Sorry, but no. Things have moved on. Long since moved on, mainly because people got better at making games, and while it's quite cute to go back in time sometimes, to be expected to part with a sizeable sum for something as dire as this is just not acceptable on any level. To think this costs only a fraction less than the original Metroid Prime, or either of the GBA-specific versions. Add to that the fact that it comes as a free unlockable extra in Metroid: Zero Mission anyway and you've got a solid gold reason to stare at this with a saucer-eyed expression.

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Picture of Kristan.

About Kristan Reed

Kristan is a former editor of Eurogamer, dad, Stone Roses bore and Norwich City supporter who sometimes mutters optimistically about Team Silent getting back together.

Read more articles from Kristan by visiting the Kristan Reed archive page.

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Comments (21) Latest comment 5 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • bdaggers #1 7 years ago

    meh

    /continues to save for PSP

  • mad_caddy #2 7 years ago

    i have to say that it does stink that nintendo are dropping these on the shelves

    why cant they release the snes games instead, super metroid, pilot wings, unirally, star fox, stunt race fx and all those other games i played for hours on end!

  • krudster #3 7 years ago

    Really, just read the words!

  • mad_caddy #4 7 years ago

    so the main debate on all these classic......i mean old games (classic would imply they were all good) is that Eurogamer doesnt give them a score, who cares, i certainly dont,

    I've been a firm believer that game rating are much over rated for many years now.

  • Eighthours #5 7 years ago

    When Namco, Midway and Atari release their old games in compilations, selling each Nintendo "classic" for £14.99 is probably the biggest rip-off of our time. And I'm far from a Nintendo hater, just think that their business strategy in the UK is beyond pathetic.

  • beep #6 7 years ago

    Do these NES games really need reviewing? I think you chaps at Eurogamer are putting yourselves through unnecessary hell just to convey an opinion on a bunch of games which don't really deserve revisiting.

  • Aretak #7 7 years ago

    People who buy these releases should be shot. It only encourages Nintendo.

  • renzo #8 7 years ago

    This game was included free with Metroid Zero Mission, and that's exactly what it should be: a freebie. I've heard these are selling well in Japan (not sure about the States), but I really hope they bomb at retail in Europe. Sadly, clueless parents will look at the 'budget' price tag and not wonder why they're cheaper than other GBA games.

    /sigh

    And I agree with Beep. I think the Kruddy Man would be better off redirecting his effort at games that are more worthy of review.

  • krudster #9 7 years ago

    It's true, there's really sod all out this month. We wouldn't normally bother, but these seemed promising, plus we missed out on them when they first came out so it seemed like a case of gaming education.

  • caligari #10 7 years ago

    Well...I'm selling my NES (with a new 72 pin connector!), and around 30 games on Ebay at the moment. It's great for a quick blast, but most of these games really should stay in the past, and only remembered when wearing those glasses of the rosiest tint.

    But hey, that doesn't mean you shouldn't track down the seller 'evildead2_uk' on Ebay and bid on all his NES goodies.

    Ahem...plug? What plug?

  • Kiigan #11 7 years ago

    Yeah, don't really think these merit reviewing. They're just really bad value, a rather ugly cash-in on the part of Nintendo and best left ignored.

    But, it's not like there are many other games to talk about at the moment, so...

  • teabagger #12 7 years ago

    Nintendo in '20 year old game is actually really shit' shocker.

    Whatever next?

    £14.99 is taking the piss though.

  • Daryoon #13 7 years ago

    I'm still a bit shocked by this whole "Nintendo didn't do very well in Europe" thing. From what I remember, loads of people owned a NES at school, and later on a SNES, but I never knew anyone with a Sega machine. Yet now I hear - and from other people too, not just from here - that everyone had Sega machines and played Sonic...

    Maybe I lived in the sole bastion of Nintendo fankids in the country...

  • teabagger #14 7 years ago

    only one kid I knew had a NES, I don't remember many of either to be honest until the Megadrive and SNES became popular.

  • bdaggers #15 7 years ago

    Oh for a new Pilotwings - to be the Birdman over the island in current gen graphics - that i would buy a Cube for.

    Oh yes indeedy

    /wakes up

  • Killerbee #16 7 years ago

    Nice review Kruds. Can't say I'm totally surprised this doesn't really hold up to modern scrutiny. In fact I think it's a bit pointless Nintendo re-releasing all these retro-classics anyway, but they obviously think it will make some money so who am I to argue.

    Anyway, it matters not because I managed to find a brand new copy of Zero Mission in WHSmiths for £9.99 just before Christmas. :)

  • Dick Laurent #17 7 years ago

    "the PSP is bringing some imaginative and fun stuff to the table - Lumines, Mercury, Hot Shots Golf and Metal Gear Acid to name a few"

    And here we are, discussing Sony vs. Nintendo, yet none of these games are made by Sony.. oooh errrr, and hooray.

  • 3william56 #18 7 years ago

    "Seriously, even Dragon 32 owners will have a hard time keeping their lunch down"

    [Bleuuurgghhhh!]

    Nice Withnail reference. It's cult cinema week on EG!

    Couldn't agree with the review more. I have to suffer this any time I get on a long Singapore airlines flight. They have twenty or so NES and SNES games on the inflight system, and with the possible exception of FZero, they all suck mightily (and I used to play for hours on a ZX81!).

    There's something about 8 bit console games that just really grates. Pre 8 bit games are so primitive that there's no expectations so they're Ok in a stone age game-and-watch way. 16 bit and beyond can hold their own with decent controls and visuals and movement. But 8 bit are stuck in the horrible no-man's land - they look ok, with colour and scrolling, but almost all control horribly and have 10p gobbling game mechanics.

    It's a dissapointment really - this will sell like shoes full of warm sick, and convince devs that 2d and side scrollers are dead, just when Captain Quark is showing that, properly implemented, they can be a hoot.

  • Devil Dancer #19 7 years ago

    Is it just me, or does the reviewer bitch constantly about how hard these old NES games are? No shit Shirlock, that’s how games used to be!

  • Jeema #20 7 years ago

    Eh, you're just old and bitter - and mad at Nintendo for cashing-in. 12 year olds could do, in 1986, what you cannot do now - namely beat this game. And that's the sad truth.

  • Grim_Beefer #21 5 years ago

    Late irrelevant post I know, but oh well.

    I think the entire tone of the review is completely biased and pretty foolish. The puerile fascination video game journalists typically have with graphics being first and foremost. Any game will eventually look primitive in comparison to its' successors, does this mean that technically no game has decent visuals? The reviewer obviously doesn't care or know about older games, and lets this ignorance/bias through. We don't retroactively trash old films because their effects aren't nearly as amazing as our current blockbusters do we? So why just present the unfair comparison between later Metroid incarnations/modern games and the original? Why not instead, as we do with old films, study what factors made this game and give it some proper context against its' peers in addition to its' legacy in culture?

    Metroid was Nintendo's attempt to create a game geared more towards adults. Instead of the typical bright colors found in kid friendly games, Metroid had an atypically darker palette. This was also reflected in the music of the game; with Hip Tananka attempting more ambient enviroments to suit the otherwordly feel of the game. Indeed, Metroid's soundtrack, which is considered a classic, goes ignored in this review. Furthermore, the claim that the game had lousy graphics even for its' time is completely bogus. The game came out stateside in 1986, putting it in league release-wise with other NES greats such as Ghosts N Goblins, Balloon Fight, and Ice Climber, to name a few. The reviewer is just oblivious to the fact that the game came out early in the NES's long life span, and thus did not have the technological advantages that later games did. In reality the game looked quite decent for its' day; the varied environments and character design (Mother Brain!) being particularly outstanding.

    There is not a proper discussion of the groundbreaking play mechanics, the real reason people turned this game into a hit. In a world of relatively simplistic sports, shooter, and platform games, Metroid, along with other groundbreaking titles such as Dragon Warrior and The Legend of Zelda, really stood out on the NES as a huge steps forward in popularizing what we consider modern gaming. Furthermore, there is no mention of Gunpei Yokoi, the series' enigmatic creator (also the creator of the game boy), or "Hip" Tanaka, the series' notable musician. Who would review a film without even mentioning the director? Rubbish. Finally, I find it distressing that the reviewer failed to mention that Metroid was perhaps the only game of its' time that featured a prominent female protagonist in a strong role (Barbie doesn't count, sorry). Many players, myself included, were completely shocked as children to find out that the little orange "man" we were controlling the entire game was actually a woman. This is a potentially great moment in gaming history that is simply swept under the rug by such ignorant reviewers.

    That the game is hard is not to be doubted. However, games were typically harder during this era, as is Metroid's sister title, Kid Icarus (which runs on the same engine). The argument can be made that the game simply requires more skill, as the game is perfectly beatable in under three hours (which will reveal a secret!). I personally find online FPS to be insanely difficult, but the competitive challenge is simply part of the experience. Metroid came from a time when beating a game was a triumph, not a right; this lowest common denominator aspect has made many modern games far too easy by comparison.