Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved Review

By Tom Bramwell Published 11 April, 2006

Been in the wars?

Version tested: Xbox 360

Xbox 360's stock shortages are a well-documented phenomenon, and dwelling on them at this late stage would be rather pointless. Likewise, the fact we haven't written a "proper" review of Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved is a well-documented phenomenon, at least on our bubbly forums. What you didn't know though, see, is that we were biding our time; we were just waiting for the ideal moment to launch it into being, aiming to tell you all what we think about the game people often joke was the console's best at launch at precisely the time when you'd actually be able to go out and buy an Xbox 360 at the end of the review. As Gimli said rather rubbishly when he fell of his horse, it was deliberate.

And if you don't buy that, then here's our Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved review. We're sorry our dog ate our computer while we missed the bus in the snow after our alarm clock exploded and my grandmother's dead. Sorry.

On a basic level, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved is a graphically improved version of the Geometry Wars mini-game that you could unlock in Project Gotham Racing 2. In it, you fly a little spaceship thing around a grid with the left stick and direct laserfire from it with the right stick, Robotron-style. The idea is to hold off the unending wave of enemies that spawn around the grid in incrementally larger groups. While being all graphically improved. Obviously. Just look at the way the grid ripples! They had to use a whole CPU core to compute that. That's how much they love you. And all those explosions. It's fireworks city and you're the mayor!

'Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved' Screenshot discon

Beware that if you're disconnected from Live mid-game, your score won't be uploaded.

Enemies don't fire back, but that's no relief - instead they try and strike you head on, and if they succeed you lose one of the three lives you start with. Beyond that, you also have three smartbombs, which can be used to wipe out a screen full of enemies during a moment of panic. Stocks of lives and smartbombs are replenished at intervals of 75,000 and 100,000 points respectively.

It's incredibly simple, and owes a lot of its charm to this - whenever you load the game, you start from the same position, and anybody with two thumbs can pick it up without any kind of instruction. It is, with the possible exceptions of Zuma and Bejeweled, the most accessible Xbox Live Arcade game - but it boasts hidden depths that put the others to shame.

Obviously enemy numbers do ramp up, but there are specific patterns to their arrival - one in each corner, a stream in each corner, a variety in each corner, and so on - and each enemy boasts a particular attack behaviour. At the most basic level, little spinning windmills circle aimlessly while diamonds follow you around gently, gradually increasing in speed the longer they're left alive.

Then there are purple rectangles crossed from corner to corner, which hone in much more directly and quickly and, when struck, split into a pair of smaller rectangles that don't move toward you so quickly but do spin around in little circles to evade your fire. There are greenies, which race after you unless you're facing them, and dodge your fire if it comes at them any way besides straight on. There are purple-headed snakes, which squirm around but can only be wiped out with a shot to the head. There are little red devils that can move incredibly quickly in a straight line and have a front-mounted shield to deflect laserfire, but pause at the end of a run and can't do anything if you blitz them from the sides.

And then there are the swarms - bluey crosses that don't pursue you, especially, but test your ability to cut a clear path through them, and brightly coloured tiny blobs that mass out of the death of a black hole.

'Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved' Screenshot network

So get a decent network cable, obviously.

Black holes - red rings of darkness that spring up from time to time, and often several at a time - aren't really enemies, but they're not quite allies either. Once struck with a bullet or nudged by an enemy, they do the black hole thing and form an intense gravitational pull which affects the movement, to a lessening degree, of virtually everything within a large radius. On the one hand, they help you avoid becoming overwhelmed, which is handy - and by priming them and moving close to them, you can actually use them quite deliberately in this manner. On the other, they don't actually bank you any more points than you'd otherwise gain if you do try and work with them, they have a potentially unhelpful effect on your movement too, and they can eventually explode - and the eruption of swarming blobs is tricky to handle.

It's this kind of double-edged subtlety that you enjoy learning and marshalling as you play. At the lowest level, the interchanging weapon styles - there are three available, and you change at intervals of 10,000 points. More enduringly, score multipliers - with certain numbers of ships dead, your multiplier increases, up to a maximum of ten for 2000 ships destroyed in one burst. Lose one of your own and you go back to 1x, so, given the way the waves ramp up, it's usually best to try and get as much points-value out of your first life as possible. Smartbombs don't affect your multiplier, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending how masochistic you are.

But while all of these things are good reasons to like it, the reason it continues to entertain is that it's been designed to be played with, not just beaten. And of course you can't beat it - it's a high-scores game, and theoretically never-ending. But while it's a constant upward ramp, it's not just a case of pushing slightly further every time; there are distinct breaching points, after which the rate of points-accumulation, and consequently life and smartbomb accumulation, increases. For quite a while it'll prove a real stretch to reach 500,000, but once you do you may find that a million's closer than you imagine.

'Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved' Screenshot ship

The Geometry Wars ship: is it a C? An upside down doghouse? What?

It's not just about high scores, either. Like all Live Arcade games, there are worldwide and friends-focused leaderboards to compare your scores (and you certainly will), but the achievements here aren't that bad either. I find a lot of the 360 achievements to be quite tedious, mechanical, or, worse, disproportionate to the task completed; Geometry Wars does something that very few have done and doesn't just reward you for doing things in the game, but thinks of ways of playing the game and rewards them. Hence 10 points for "Pacifism" - surviving the first 60 seconds of the game without firing a shot. The others are more familiar - high scores, high scores on one life, maximising life and smartbomb counts - but Pacifism is as good an indicator of the design philosophy here as anything. If anything, it's just a pity it didn't go further.

It feels a bit churlish to complain about this sort of thing in one of the system's cheapest games - 400 Microsoft points is half what a lot of the new releases cost - but there are reasons to do so, not least the freebie PC rip-off Grid Wars 2, which looks and feels largely the same as Geometry Wars and also makes some interesting changes - encouraging you to experiment with black holes by multiplying the score much higher than Geometry Wars will, and cutting off your multiplier for using smartbombs, being the main things.

Amongst the more competitive of my 360 owning chums, there's also sour discussion about the differences between playing the game in 4:3 and 16:9 aspect ratios. Apparently there's something advantageous about doing it in the former, which has rankled for some. Thankfully for the final score, I left my anal retention with my other sphincter.

As such, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved is one of the best buys on Xbox Live Arcade, even comes with a copy of the PGR2-vintage Geometry Wars (complete with its own leaderboards), and - for the cynics - offers one of the most decisive demo versions, too. It lasts four minutes, and if you can't last that long after a few hours' practice, and you're not enjoying simply playing it, then you probably shouldn't bother with the full version. Except obviously you should anyway, because we want to encourage them to make another one, and we'd buy your favourite game to help encourage your developers if you asked. Jerk.

Right, so that's a 'buy' then. Took long enough... What do you mean it's out of stock again?

9 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (173) Latest comment 6 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • thegamesthething #1 6 years ago

    About time :)

    There is no better way to spend a bit less than £4 (though yes, you have to spend the £280 first)

  • symmetry #2 6 years ago

    Don't have a 360, but this game is the one I'll usually end up playing after going round a mate's house. Absolutely brilliant addictive gameplay.

    Strangely, I seem to score more after a couple of beers too :)

  • thegamesthething #3 6 years ago

    I havent noticed the screen ratio thing, but screen size made a big difference for me. Played on a 96" HD projector for ages, couldnt get more than about 300K. Then tried it on a 32" SD CRT, and got nearly 600K first try. Odd.

  • SirScratchalot #4 6 years ago

    I´ll be playing this even when I´m done with oblivion.

  • trousers #5 6 years ago

    I played Grid Wars on my laptop until I realised my laptop started crying once the screen got too busy. I then tried to buy a new laptop from Dell but they didn't have the graphics card I wanted in stock so I cancelled.

    I *then* decided to save myself £800 and bought a 360 instead.

    All thanks to Geometry Wars - system selling title right there then.

  • InfiniteFury #6 6 years ago

    Survived just over 750,000 last night and died stupidly. The last achievement left, the big 1,000,000 survived.

    This will be my GOTY I'm quite sure, I can't imagine anything else coming close.

    The last game to be this close to perfection was Ocarina IMO.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 08:51

  • bauhaus #7 6 years ago

    best game on 360 by far

  • BartonFink #8 6 years ago

    Brilliant game unfortunately I suck at it but it's great fun.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 08:51

  • jellyhead #9 6 years ago

    The freebie PC version is great too.
    Shame i'm totally rubbish at it now my Tempest skills have deserted me. :(

  • #10 6 years ago

    If games were judged on how well implemented their concept is, this game has to be 10/10. That and its original concept is simply brilliant
    Eminently playable, loads of fun, cheap and sustaining. A killer App.

    PCers will bitch on about how it's really simple, you can get the same thing for free on PC blah blah, but they're wrong. The concept, design, implementation, distribution and price-point of this game are all of the highest order.

    Nice to have a review. Thanks EG.
    /Now if I could only break 500K!

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #11 6 years ago

    Five-pointed stars?

  • bluebird #12 6 years ago

    Having played both the Grid Wars and now having an X360 with Geometry Wars, I can savely say that the X360 version is far better. And a lot tougher!

    I was able to get pretty far on the PC version, but the X360 one kicks my ass. The enemies seem a lot quicker and dynamic, and less predictable. The ship also seems to have more inertia, and the on-screen effects really ramp up and make it tough to make out my own ship in all those special effects! (especially when shooting a black hole).

    So if you enjoy the PC version, you'll love the X360 version even better. Just be prepared to have your ass kicked :-)

  • Valver #13 6 years ago

    Geometry Wars was the first thing I played when I connected my 360 to Live. Its great...

    After reading the review I downloaded PC GridWars to compare it to the GeometryWars. No contest, GeometryWars better, and is much better implemented. The graphics are much nicer on the 360 (playing it at 1680x1050 with a GF7800GT on my PC) and despite also using an X360 pad on the PC it just didnt control as well.

    GeometryWars is well worth the £4!! If you're on Live and you havent tried the demo - do it!

    (edit: LOL, bluebird beat me to an almost identical post by seconds!)
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 09:18

  • old_man #14 6 years ago

    I love this game, though I have not managed to score more than 270'000

  • #15 6 years ago

    Is that good or bad?

  • InfiniteFury #16 6 years ago

    Terrible

    /polishes 2,300,000

    :-)

    Every landmark is a great score and you always get better and better. That's the joy of it.

    You think you'll never hit 100,000 again and then two weeks later you're banging away at 300,000 pretty reliably. A million??? Impossible. A month down the line you're sweating your balls off trying to survive a million.

    EDIT - in case I haven't been overwhelmingly unsubtle old_man I was joking - just making sure!
    Edited by 4 at 11/04/06 @ 09:34

  • Chtulie #17 6 years ago

    Why the free pc one is better:
    http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.com/grid/wars.htm

  • thegamesthething #18 6 years ago

    "Why the free pc one is better:
    http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.com/grid/wars.htm"

    Got as far as '...particularly for anyone who didn't want to fork out £300 for a state-of-the-art, all-singing, all-dancing Xbox 360 in order to play a vector-graphics Robotron game...'

    Yeah yeah, presumably he's playing it on a free PC? But you can use the PC for other things. But you can play other games on the 360. etc.

  • Eighthours #19 6 years ago

    The "black holes" are called Gravity Wells. So sayeth Stephen Cakebread (fantastic surname), the guy who made the game.

  • asphaltcowboy #20 6 years ago

    Awesome. I've been playing Grid Wars and I love it! So good when you plug in an Xbox controller too!

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #21 6 years ago

    "But you can play other games on the 360."

    But would you WANT to play any of them? And there's the difference, so far. You can buy a new PC for the same price as a 360 these days, and the stuff it can do justifies the cost a LOT better than Project Gotham Slightly Prettier Edition.

    Anyway, the cost has nothing to do with whether Grid Wars 2 is a better game than GWRE or not. It just is. Both are good games, in different ways, but it's like comparing Virtua Tennis to Pong.

  • morriss #22 6 years ago

    Gotta be said, I'm shit at it: 2/10 ;)

  • thegamesthething #23 6 years ago

    @ Stuart.
    A PC for £280 that will play modern games. PGR3 the best / only example of what is right about the 360. OK.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 10:09

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #24 6 years ago

    "A PC for £280 that will play modern games."

    Let me give you a tip about conversations, youngster - read the words people ACTUALLY said, not the words you WISH they'd said. Did I mention modern PC games? I did not. I said the PC - which can perform a vast array of useful tasks, and can also play hundreds and hundreds of excellent games - justified its cost better than a games-only console which isn't properly backwards compatible and as yet lacks a single must-have title of its own.

    None of which has anything to do with Grid Wars 2, which is a vastly better game than GWRE for countless reasons, none of them the cost, and all of them detailed in the feature you can't be arsed reading. Which is fair enough - it's quite long and I know the children of today have an eight-second attention span - but if you can't be arsed reading it then you should also have the courtesy to shut the fuck up about it.

    Tch!

  • thegamesthething #25 6 years ago

    @ Stuart. Nice. Patronising, mildly offensive, total cobblers. You should perhaps not get so worked up, also leave out any over-simplistic rubbish from your articles and they would make a much better read.

    Tch etc

  • Furbs #26 6 years ago

    Never read Amiga Power then? ;)

  • thegamesthething #27 6 years ago

    Amiga Power was a long time ago:)
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 11:02

  • SeesThroughAll #28 6 years ago

    I think the XBox360 is a great console, but on the other hand I dislike the attitude of some people (Namely XBox "enthusiasts";). Off they go, bitching that Sony made a crappy handheld, when at launch the PSP already had a couple of must-have titles, while the 360 did not.
    A few months passed, and the PSP began maturing, with more than half a dozen solid titles.
    It seems to me that the 360 also took it's time to pick up some steam, but it's a freaking console system, out for about five months by now and it has TWO obligatory titles. That's it. And one of them is a retro-style game. And off they boast that this one game, Oblivion is great, while at the same time, if another console suffers from slow maturing, but happens to have the Sony brand, it's because it's crap.
    MS fanboys can be quite annoying.

  • Furbs #29 6 years ago

    Woohoo! Two "theres no games for it" comments on the first page! Gonna be a GREAT thread :p

    /bought a PSP at launch with 8 titles
    /has bought 2 since

  • thegamesthething #30 6 years ago

    OK, can we have a Ninty fb from the audience please, may as well collect the set.

  • SeesThroughAll #31 6 years ago

    OK, can we have a Ninty fb from the audience please, may as well collect the set.

    MARIO GAMES ARE FOR KIDS!

    OK, smelly you can join us now! :)

  • El_MUERkO #32 6 years ago

    Grid Wars ftw >.

  • smelly #33 6 years ago

    Will do.

    I've played it, but there's too much going on on screen for my poor little old eyes to cope with.

    I start off fine, but then I cant concentrate on whats going on.. its a victim of it's own prettyness.

  • smelly #34 6 years ago

    But at the end of the day, it's just llamatron isnt it?

  • TVeyes #35 6 years ago

    Excellent little game. Still playing the demo, which is obviously the only reason why I cannot get over 5.000.000. If you believe that I have a PS3 preorder I would like to sell to you : )

    Being a former Nintendo and Playstation only owner I am a bit uneasy about this newfangled microtransactions bit. Do people here only buy XBox Live Points at a shop or have you no worries about throwing your credit card details into a "games console"?

    Still enjoying the demo but can't be arsed to buy Points at a shop and to uneasy about entering credit card information with a joypad, I know, silly.

    If you are looking for a "similar" shoot'em'up fix you should try finding a way to run an old Playstation homebrew game called INVS. The game mechanics are entirely different to Geometry Wars but the way you slowly learn the behaviour of each type of enemy makes the two games seem similar during play. It is not as accessible as GW and you need to dig a little deeper before it truly shines, but when it does it shines so very bright.

    ht tp://palpalpalpal.free.fr/Works/Videogames/Invs/

    I still hold tenth position in the top .... eight. Woohoo. Fame at last.

    Sorry for the off topic post.

    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 11:35

  • MrGrumpy.au #36 6 years ago

    smelly which llamatron is a clone of Robotron, Smash TV and probably a few old and obscure vector coin munchers. So everyone as usual is cloning everyone, still GeoWars and its clone Gridwars are great games (maybe due to nostalgia).

  • Helios #37 6 years ago

    I got 161000 survived on the demo... is that good?

    /will buy if he still has money after oblivion purchase

  • Furbs #38 6 years ago

    "System cost arguments are bunk."

    Not for most people.

  • Subquest #39 6 years ago

    Agreed - the gameplay mechanic is basically Smash TV, which is no bad thing.

  • smelly #40 6 years ago

    @MrGrumpy.au

    No s**t sherlock.. it was called a joke!

    geees.

  • Helios #41 6 years ago

    "Agreed - the gameplay mechanic is basically Smash TV, which is no bad thing."

    Which itself is available on Live arcade :p

    I wonder if anyone will EVER get that game master acheivement on it? (BEating the entire game on default settings with no continues...)

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #42 6 years ago

    "@ Stuart. Nice. Patronising, mildly offensive, total cobblers. You should perhaps not get so worked up, also leave out any over-simplistic rubbish from your articles and they would make a much better read."

    Yes, when you've been busted by the arguments it IS generally better to quickly switch over to crying about what a nasty big meanie the other person is...

    "Over-simplistic"? I think "true" is the word you're looking for there, junior. What I said was that Grid Wars 2 might be interesting for someone who didn't want to buy an Xbox 360 just to play GWRE - and who by definition almost certainly already owned a PC since they were *reading the article on a website*. Which part of that is in any way incorrect, or indeed "simplistic"?

    I don't mind the slightest bit if you don't want to read the feature, but don't make boneheadedly idiotic comments about it to excuse your lack of an attention span, son. It's just bad manners.

  • jozz #43 6 years ago

    It's funny how as soon as you mention GW:RE you instantly get Grid Wars mentioned to.
    Look people it's a bad copy basically. It's slower and piss easy compared to Geometry Wars and the AI is shit too.

    What's wrong, don't like a challenge? :p

    I predict this thread will be atleast 150 comments long especially after my pot stirring shenanigans (which are also true by the way).

  • Mugwum Verified Operations Director, Eurogamer Network #44 6 years ago

    "Five-pointed stars?"

    Minor eye/brain malfunction - I meant the little spinning chaps at the start with four triangles arranged like the sails of a windmill (I suppose). Have altered.

  • MrGrumpy.au #45 6 years ago

    @smelly, really? Better try a bit harder then


    ;) Just in case you missed it...

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #46 6 years ago

    "Look people it's a bad copy basically. It's slower and piss easy compared to Geometry Wars and the AI is shit too."

    Wow, do we have some Future staff in?

  • thegamesthething #47 6 years ago

    LOL Stuart, OK yeah fully busted. You initally suggest in your article that you need to purchase a £300 console (presumably £280 isnt a round enough figure for you) to play a vector-graphics Robotron game, whilst not mentioning the cost of a PC to play the alternative. When challenged on this you change your argument to one about how many things PCs can do at an equivalent price, ignoring the fact that one thing a £280 PC cant do is play the game in question (or any of the games now out for the 360). When challenged further, you fall back on tired kiddy, junior arguments, which infact dont apply.

    I can see this really matters to you, (and from the shots of your lounge I seem to remember seeing, you dont have much in your life other than games), I was just trying to back slowly away from your rather rabid rantings.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 12:10

  • Dizzy #48 6 years ago

    Amazing that is thread has ended up as a GridWars vs GWE. Sad little trolls....

  • botherer #49 6 years ago

    @ thegamesthing

    Why don't you stop, take a few breaths, actually read the article in question, and stop making irrelevent personal comments?

    I don't care whether someone prefers GW2 or GeoWars 2. It doesn't matter. Since each approaches a similar game with a different intent, and each intent is superbly executed, and differently appealing, it's a futile debate.

    It's actually rather repulsive to see someone trying to make personally insulting references about someone they don't know, from their vantage point of anonymity and obscurity. Don't sink so low on a public forum.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #50 6 years ago

    "(and from the shots of your lounge I seem to remember seeing, you dont have much in your life other than games)"

    How very creepy. It's odd how many people appear to think my writing is rubbish, yet hang around my website and forum reading it, and committing the contents of my lounge to memory.

    (And doing it rather badly wrongly, too - the picture of the gigantic storage rack you presumably allude to shows ONE row of games, as opposed to two rows of videos, two rows of DVDs, five rows of music CDs, one row of music tapes and one row of sweets. Your recollection skills are almost as good as your command of English. I don't recommend an application to The Krypton Factor.)

  • thegamesthething #51 6 years ago

    botherer are you only reading half this thread? One mild criticism of some lazy journalism earned me a STFU, youngster, kiddy attention span spew. You missed that? Never mind, I clearly should have deferred, Stu knows all, my apologies :)

  • thegamesthething #52 6 years ago

    I have looked at your site before Stu, and kudos for some great reviews, and your involvement in Cannon Fodder, and probably a load of other stuff I dont know about. But if you review a game as better than another, and use it as excuse to make a poorly though out swipe at the machine running the inferior product as you see it, smacks of laziness to me, of precisely the sort we've seen on here from time to time (though far less so of late). Whilst comments are invited, I'll do so.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 12:29

  • botherer #53 6 years ago

    I don't wish to be drawn into a tiresome forum debate. It's the lack of any lazy journalism occurring that is the flaw in your otherwise flawless argument.

    All I'm interested in is that you resorted to personal comments, rather than the more regular anonymous name calling, which is something that pisses me off a great deal. You were called anonymous names for being inaccurate and beligerant. Probably best to get over that, or at least provide a reasoned and rational explanation of why you are not wrong.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #54 6 years ago

    "One mild criticism of some lazy journalism"

    That's the point, though, dimwit. It wasn't "lazy journalism" in any way, shape or form. It was a straightforward and perfectly true comment - a passing one in parenthesis*, at that - which you, out of fanboy paranoia, chose to interpret in a manner completely at odds with what was actually said, and then criticised YOUR OWN interpretation of the words, which bore no resemblance to what I either wrote or meant.



    * If you need someone to explain what a "parenthesis" is, just ask your teacher. Only you don't seem to be awfully good at understanding words.

  • shamblemonkee #55 6 years ago

    You guys scare me more than the grannies at Bingo

  • thegamesthething #56 6 years ago

    "I don't wish to be drawn into a tiresome forum debate". Well ditto, I'll stop, and leave it to the professionals.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #57 6 years ago

    Bless you, my child.

  • Razzajazz #58 6 years ago

    Does anyone have any tips on how to NOT get your arse handed to you on this game? I see little circles following me around in my dreams now, someone has to help me...!

  • lambtron #59 6 years ago

    @ Razzajazz

    Close your eyes, let go your conscious feelings...

    Probably not eh? :p
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 12:45

  • Helios #60 6 years ago

    lambtron is correct. I play this game blindfolded, and rely on my knowledge of the force to gain high scores.

    EDIT: And this is me* earning 16.7 million points using above method


    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=644 8718435424680005&q=K4rn4ge

    *probably a lie
    Edited by 2 at 11/04/06 @ 13:15

  • thegamesthething #61 6 years ago

    @ Razzajazz

    watch this guy

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-83189591360 60982856

    Circle, keep moving, only shoot around you when its clear in front, seems to be the way. Links on there to more vids too.

  • Xerx3s #62 6 years ago

    Simplicity usually makes the best games. :)

    And ffs, some ppl will just about use anything to comment on their choise fro not buying the 360. Give it a rest, it gets old.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #63 6 years ago

    Actually, my telly has a VGA input, and Grid Wars 2 is the first thing that's ever made me consider hefting the PC into the living room...

  • SeesThroughAll #64 6 years ago

    When you go out into the wilderness in the X360 Oblivion, the frame rate drops drastically too. Does that make it poor?

  • Teeth #65 6 years ago

    Rev. Stuart Campbell does my head in, which is a shame as he's pals with some of the folks at EG and their various freelancers. Fuck knows, he may even be one of the freelancers working for EG himself.

  • Teeth #66 6 years ago

    Well it just means that he will get support from either EG crew who are around at the time or avid EG supporters in the general audience, making arguing against his insipid posts all the more difficult.

  • Subquest #67 6 years ago

    @Wonga - hate getting into all this, but PC gaming in the living room has been a reality for some time now (at least it has in my little circle). I do concede it's more expensive to set up, eg. you need a quality projector since even a HDTV will limit the resolution. Not exactly gaming for the masses, obviously.

    BTW - I prefer GeoWars in this instance!

  • #68 6 years ago

    @ The Reverand

    I have predicted, disagreed with and been annoyed by every post you have made.
    Look back to the 12th post to see how I predicted your tired arguaments about PCs would start.

    I don't care about your artice or anything. I don't even own a 'PC' as you call it, I own a Mac. I therefore have chosen to fill my gaming life with consoles.

    I really don't know where to start. Having lots of videos/music - why do I care about that, and how do I prove it means anything?

    People reading your stuff despite not liking it - it's human nature to argue - never noticed that?

    It seems your article is very flawed though. Some have described it as 'lazy journalism' I'll just call it crap. - You're saying that for value for money I should buy a £300 PC. - Who are you to tell me? Who are you to judge what I deem valuable? As has been mentioned, a £300 PC won't even play Grid Wars - so what's the relevance to this forum? I bought a 360 'cos it had games on it I liked to look of. I already have a computer for all the rest. I also happened to have a new HD TV and I wanted to maximise it's potential. The 360's main function is to play games - now you tell me what PC I should buy to get the equivalent performance games-wise. I ask, because you seem to be the expert, - oh, and I hate windows too. One without windows please - specify now.

    Rev. do you even own a 360? If so, why? If you don't how do you even have a leg to stand on in a forum that is ABOUT A 360 GAME!

    And resorting to "little kiddie, go back to school" well that is not only the weakest thing, but offensive and uncalled-for.

    Why does every thread seem to turn into a PC vs 360 or 360 vs Revolution vs PS3. Why can't we, as gamers, just sit back in a satisfied manner and think "hey we've never had it so good. GW:RE is a great little game that I've enjoyed a lot." It pisses me off.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #69 6 years ago

    "I have predicted, disagreed with and been annoyed by every post you have made. "

    Watch me care!










    ...











    ...











    ...











    Nope, sorry.

  • Helios #70 6 years ago

    On the whole £300 PC thing:

    Some want to play games newer than 5 years old/one bloody game that's a ripoff of another.

    "Watch me care!"

    That's possibly the most childish thing i've seen you say. You go about saying 'kiddie kiddie,' and yet you talk and act like someone who isn't out of primary school.
    /ignore button
    Edited by 2 at 11/04/06 @ 14:30

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #71 6 years ago

    I treat people with the level of respect and courtesy they deserve. Fuckwits can fuck off.

  • thegamesthething #72 6 years ago

    @Teeth

    "Well it just means that he will get support from either EG crew who are around at the time or avid EG supporters in the general audience, making arguing against his insipid posts all the more difficult."

    Wish you'd mentioned that a page back :) Ah well, will know for next time.

    @Stuart. Dude, read back through your posts on this thread, and give yourself a fuckwit rating. Out of 10, nothing below an 8 could possibly be justified.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #73 6 years ago

    Yes, I do feel bad about responding to your unprovoked insults, idiotic lies and inability to grasp basic English with helpful advice and humour. I won't be making THAT mistake again.

    Can I have fries with that Big Mac, please?

  • #74 6 years ago

    Well if you're calling me a fuckwit I'm more than happy to meet you after work for a drink somewhere in town (london I mean) and we could discuss.... Nothin violent, but maybe you'd act like a human being if we actuallymet face to face. I'm not afraid, and don't think that I have been offensive in any way.

    Really though I don't think you've made any friends here, and just because my post had relevant points - and therefore you couldn't be bothered to counter-argue them - you resort to the postings you have. It's a sad day for the EG forums, it really is.
    If you could be bothered to put in all those dots and new lines, I'd say you cared a little.

    If you were on Live, you'd have half a star by now.

    Go play in someone else's treehouse, you've ruined mine. :(

  • krudster #75 6 years ago

    Stu doesn't write for EG, and never has. Sure he's friends with some of the EG freelancers, but that doesn't mean I'm going to interfere with his points of view. I wish, perhaps, that we could all cut out the need to swear to make a point, but apart from that it's all fair game, really.

  • Teeth #76 6 years ago

    Thanks for clearing that up krudster.

    edit: full stop.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 14:53

  • #77 6 years ago

    obviously the 'wit' is cruicial. Maybe someone mistook it for actual wit.

  • krudster #78 6 years ago

    Well, this certainly wins this week's Pointlessly Lairy Thread award.

  • SeesThroughAll #79 6 years ago

    /puts the good reverend in his ignore list

  • Subquest #80 6 years ago

    Wonga, a living room PC ain't meant for Excel, that's true (unless you like writing macros on a 90" screen). It's ideally purpose built for gaming, music, video, PVR - the whole multimedia entertainment thing - not a desk in sight! Choose the right cooling components and you'll never notice any noise.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #81 6 years ago

    I treat people online the same as I treat them in real life. That's why I don't hide behind a pseudonym.

    "don't think that I have been offensive in any way"

    Hmm. Evidently you've already noticed that that was a lie, and edited it out.

    "Really though I don't think you've made any friends here, and just because my post had relevant points..."

    I'll try to struggle on somehow without your friendship. But as for your "relevant points"? Just for the sake of it, let's take a look at those, shall we?

    "You're saying that for value for money I should buy a £300 PC. - Who are you to tell me? Who are you to judge what I deem valuable?"

    Jesus. Great start. I'd really like to hear you justify spending £300 on an Xbox 360 to play Geometry Wars as opposed to a PC costing the same amount, but even so, it's not the point. If you'd read my feature - and I'll lay 50 quid right now that you haven't, even though you're shouting your mouth off about it - you would know that there isn't ONE SINGLE SOLITARY WORD in it criticising the Xbox 360. All the paragraph in question actually says is that if you want to play a Geometry Wars-type game without laying out £300 for a new games console, you might be interested in Grid Wars 2. And as I've already patiently pointed out, there's at least a 95% chance that anyone reading the feature *already owns* a machine capable of playing Grid Wars 2

    "The 360's main function is to play games - now you tell me what PC I should buy to get the equivalent performance games-wise. I ask, because you seem to be the expert, - oh, and I hate windows too. One without windows please - specify now."

    Are you drunk? Grid Wars 2 runs on the Mac too, another fact you didn't bother to check before you started spouting crap. And it runs on Linux as well. As for Windows PCs, the specs it needs aren't high, and it's loaded with options for slower machines too. Wow, you really couldn't have fucked that up much more comprehensively. The 360's main function is to play games? Really? Thank God you're here, we had no idea. It remains a terribly expensive option if you just want to play a vector-graphics Robotron derivative, though, which is all I actually said.

    "Rev. do you even own a 360? If so, why? If you don't how do you even have a leg to stand on in a forum that is ABOUT A 360 GAME! "

    Do I own a 360? Not yet, though I expect to later this month. (I'd borrow one off one of my 360-owning friends, but I wouldn't want to disturb all that dust.) Have I played GWRE extensively? Yes, of course I have. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it was a good game. At ABSOLUTELY NO POINT in any of this have I slagged off either the 360 or either Geometry Wars game. I like them. My website contains a piece championing the original GW, and the Grid Wars 2 feature also speaks approvingly of it, it's simply that GW2 is better. You're doing a fantastic job of illustrating my point about clueless idiots complaining about what they THINK has been said, rather than what actually HAS been said.

    "Why does every thread seem to turn into a PC vs 360 or 360 vs Revolution vs PS3. Why can't we, as gamers, just sit back in a satisfied manner and think "hey we've never had it so good. GW:RE is a great little game that I've enjoyed a lot.""

    I don't know. Is it because dickhead fanboys insist on imagining attacks on their favourite formats which actually never existed?

    Seriously, get a fucking grip on yourself. I was insulted without the slightest provocation, then lied about and insulted some more when I simply corrected the facts in what under the circumstances was really a terribly mild and restrained manner. If you're too pig-headed and stupid to observe that simple truth, I really, really won't be wasting another second of my time listening to your boneheaded opinions on the subject.

    Yr pal,
    S.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 15:08

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #82 6 years ago

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

  • #83 6 years ago

    It's the ship from Tempest obviously.

  • thegamesthething #84 6 years ago

    Stuart, you werent insulted or lied about, you are imagining both. Get a chip for the other shoulder, might straighten you out :)

  • chavatar #85 6 years ago

    I was insulted without the slightest provocation

    No offence Stu (let's be careful here) but as a late comer to the thread it certainly looks like you started off by swearing and patronising people. imo, it is you that has come across as childish, albeit in an articulate fashion.

    But hey, it's what makes the forum interesting, very dull if we all agreed

    PS and please don't call me an illiterate kiddie in response, as I ain't alwight? ;)

  • thegamesthething #86 6 years ago

    "apart from someone calling him a cock, of course."

    Ah yeah, true, wasnt me and has since been deleted, sorry. Though by then he was already in full on patronising bollocks mode, and having read the rest of the thread, I think the comment is fully justified.

  • Teeth #87 6 years ago

    Well, it's agreed then; Geometry Wars is RAH RAH RAH RAH

  • thegamesthething #88 6 years ago

    Yes

  • #89 6 years ago

    Phew, ok, here we go,

    I treat people online the same as I treat them in real life. That's why I don't hide behind a pseudonym.

    "don't think that I have been offensive in any way"

    Hmm. Evidently you've already noticed that that was a lie, and edited it out.

    >When was that? I haven't edited anthing?!?

    "Really though I don't think you've made any friends here, and just because my post had relevant points..."

    I'll try to struggle on somehow without your friendship.

    >How many ignores do you have now? Is that your aim?

    But as for your "relevant points"? Just for the sake of it, let's take a look at those, shall we?

    "You're saying that for value for money I should buy a £300 PC. - Who are you to tell me? Who are you to judge what I deem valuable?"

    Jesus. Great start. I'd really like to hear you justify spending £300 on an Xbox 360 to play Geometry Wars as opposed to a PC costing the same amount, but even so, it's not the point. If you'd read my feature - and I'll lay 50 quid right now that you haven't, even though you're shouting your mouth off about it - you would know that there isn't ONE SINGLE SOLITARY WORD in it criticising the Xbox 360. All the paragraph in question actually says is that if you want to play a Geometry Wars-type game without laying out £300 for a new games console, you might be interested in Grid Wars 2. And as I've already patiently pointed out, there's at least a 95% chance that anyone reading the feature *already owns* a machine capable of playing Grid Wars 2

    >Well I don't. And so, if there isn't "ONE SINGLE SOLITARY WORD in it criticising the Xbox 360" then what relevance does it have to this forum?

    "The 360's main function is to play games - now you tell me what PC I should buy to get the equivalent performance games-wise. I ask, because you seem to be the expert, - oh, and I hate windows too. One without windows please - specify now."

    Are you drunk? Grid Wars 2 runs on the Mac too, another fact you didn't bother to check before you started spouting crap. And it runs on Linux as well. As for Windows PCs, the specs it needs aren't high, and it's loaded with options for slower machines too. Wow, you really couldn't have fucked that up much more comprehensively. The 360's main function is to play games? Really? Thank God you're here, we had no idea. It remains a terribly expensive option if you just want to play a vector-graphics Robotron derivative, though, which is all I actually said.

    >So what games can I play on my 3yr old Mac that the 360 does? And please layout what PC I should get to get an equivent performance to the 360, you skimmed over that bit.

    "Rev. do you even own a 360? If so, why? If you don't how do you even have a leg to stand on in a forum that is ABOUT A 360 GAME! "

    Do I own a 360? Not yet, though I expect to later this month. (I'd borrow one off one of my 360-owning friends, but I wouldn't want to disturb all that dust.) Have I played GWRE extensively? Yes, of course I have. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it was a good game. At ABSOLUTELY NO POINT in any of this have I slagged off either the 360 or either Geometry Wars game. I like them. My website contains a piece championing the original GW, and the Grid Wars 2 feature also speaks approvingly of it, it's simply that GW2 is better. You're doing a fantastic job of illustrating my point about clueless idiots complaining about what they THINK has been said, rather than what actually HAS been said.

    >OK, so you've played both. Great. But still why would I care (when reading a thread about GW:RE) about Grid Wars?

    "Why does every thread seem to turn into a PC vs 360 or 360 vs Revolution vs PS3. Why can't we, as gamers, just sit back in a satisfied manner and think "hey we've never had it so good. GW:RE is a great little game that I've enjoyed a lot.""

    I don't know. Is it because dickhead fanboys insist on imagining attacks on their favourite formats which actually never existed?

    >I resoponded after 3 or 4 posts from you that I found genuinely offencive to other people. Not to your original post, that I apparently "imagined" an attack in.

    Seriously, get a fucking grip on yourself. I was insulted without the slightest provocation, then lied about and insulted some more when I simply corrected the facts in what under the circumstances was really a terribly mild and restrained manner. If you're too pig-headed and stupid to observe that simple truth, I really, really won't be wasting another second of my time listening to your boneheaded opinions on the subject.

    >I have a fine grip thanks, and why go off on me, when it wasn't me who even insulted you!? Now, are you saying I'm pigheaded and stupid, or meerly asking? Once again a really great post. Thanks.

    Yr pal,
    S.

    >Wow, did I manage to respond to a post without swearing? I must have no grip at all.

  • #90 6 years ago

    Agreed.
    /Gets back to work before gets fired!

    Edit:
    /Wonders why all 360 games that score above a 7 on EG seem to have HUGE comments sections, mainly made up of how the PC equivalent of that particular game is better or how the PS3's equivalent will be better.
    /Wishes I'd just STFU right now and not wasted my life on this pointless, futile endeavor. /Hits ignore and is done with it.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 15:50

  • Furbs #91 6 years ago

    Dave The Animal Perry > Stuart The Reverend Campbell.

    Thats why he got the Gamesmaster gig and Stuart has been pissed about it ever since.

  • mingster #92 6 years ago

    Grid Wars works on a Mac as well

  • jozz #93 6 years ago

    "But would you WANT to play any of them? And there's the difference, so far. You can buy a new PC for the same price as a 360 these days, and the stuff it can do justifies the cost a LOT better than Project Gotham Slightly Prettier Edition.

    Anyway, the cost has nothing to do with whether Grid Wars 2 is a better game than GWRE or not. It just is. Both are good games, in different ways, but it's like comparing Virtua Tennis to Pong."

    "Let me give you a tip about conversations, youngster"

    " but if you can't be arsed reading it then you should also have the courtesy to shut the fuck up about it."

    You enter the fray yelling and screaming, instantly turning a review comments section into a PC Vs 360 argument and fwiw you actually started the personal attacks first. Just stop trolling already or better yet find a place where your opinion on which platform is better has any relevance at all to the subject matter this comments section is supposed to be about.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 16:06

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #94 6 years ago

    "Yelling and screaming"?

    I beg your pardon?

  • chavatar #95 6 years ago

    ^ So I think we've established it's a great game, and the Rev S Campbell is an irreverent irrelevance. Time to move on...

    /gazes wistfully at the pub opposite the office...

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #96 6 years ago

    ">When was that? I haven't edited anthing?!? "

    Hmm. "Some have described it as 'lazy journalism' I'll just call it crap" appeared in your post originally, then wasn't there when I went to cut-and-paste it. I see it's there again now. I have no idea what happened there, but it certainly fucks up your claim not to have said anything offensive. I call insults based on an out-of-context quote pretty offensive.

    ">Well I don't. And so, if there isn't "ONE SINGLE SOLITARY WORD in it criticising the Xbox 360" then what relevance does it have to this forum?"

    ">OK, so you've played both. Great. But still why would I care (when reading a thread about GW:RE) about Grid Wars?"

    Beats me. I didn't post the link to my Grid Wars 2 feature, nor did I start the insults. All I've done is defend it against idiotic lies from illiterate cretins, because I don't like being lied about in public. Especially by illiterate cretins.

    ">Wow, did I manage to respond to a post without swearing?"

    Bully for fucking you. I love the way everyone who's losing an argument on the internet suddenly turns into Mary Whitehouse.

    FACT: It wasn't me that brought Grid Wars into this discussion.

    FACT: I didn't slag off the 360.

    FACT: I didn't slag off either of the Geometry Wars games. In fact, I like them.

    FACT: When twats then start attacking me for supposedly criticising the 360 and GW, it pisses me off, and I reserve the right to tell those people to go fuck themselves. If you don't like THAT, then you can go fuck yourself too.

    We all clear? Good. Feel free to go back to discussing Tom's fine review of a fine game any time you like.

  • Dizzy #97 6 years ago

    One word:

    Ignored!

    Woah.. this thread fits on two pages suddenly.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 16:30

  • #98 6 years ago

    Whoever it was who said something about chips on shoulders was right man, you've lost it and I think you need to get a grip.
    Forget the drink, I don't want to meet you. I don't consider myself illiterate or an idiot. Pigheaded - well that's subjective. I don't recall calling you any names or resorting to any personal insults, unfortunatley you did.

    I think the reason people care about swearing is that there are no adult content warings on this site, and so the other users of the forum don't want to have go through this, or for EG to get in trouble. Not to mention of course the fact that this may turn people away from forums and the community in general.

    I'm sorry to say that you have really soured my taste of the EG forum and I shall proabably not go back for a while. I'm not sure what it was you had against me personally other than I guess I just said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

    I'm sure you won't care about this though - you may even be happy; glad that's what gets you off.

    So I'll do what you asked and get back to the subject:

    When taken on it's own merits GW:RE is a great game, probably worth the 9/10 it scored.

  • Furbs #99 6 years ago

    Hush Fluffy. Outsiders. Remember?

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #100 6 years ago

    "I don't consider myself illiterate or an idiot."

    I didn't actually call YOU either of those things. You seem, however, to have misunderstood simple basic English, almost as if you were some kind of illiterate idiot.

    That's pretty ironic, man.

  • thegamesthething #101 6 years ago

    A full paragraph without swearing, Stuart. Award yourself a dictionary :)

    FACT: People who say FACT a lot sound like they are counting them off on their fingers in the playground. Return to your badly constructed ramblings (though there is some excellent content).

  • #102 6 years ago

    "I didn't actually call YOU either of those things. You seem, however, to have misunderstood simple basic English, almost as if you were some kind of illiterate idiot.

    That's pretty ironic, man."

    Well done, truely pat yourself on the back for some clever word play. Once again you sort of offend me without actually comingout and saying it - now there's some balls!
    For someone who "doesn't hide behind a pseudonym" you do like to hide behind 'clever' word play and innuendo. The use of '"seem" and "almost" and "some kind of" - wow I con't see though that.

    To be honest, you make me feel so bloody innadequate for just having my 2.1 in engineering from Oxford.

    Go play with your rat you jerk.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #103 6 years ago

    A 2:1? Man, it's a sad day for our education system when using straightforward English correctly now apparently counts as "clever word play", and not understanding it appears to grant one some kind of bizarre moral high ground.

    Full marks on the Herculean effort you're putting into being personally offended, though.

  • Furbs #104 6 years ago

    Voodoo Extreme used to get Derek Sm*rt as their "celebrity" court jester.

    I feel short changed :(

  • #105 6 years ago

    "A 2:1? Man, it's a sad day for our education system when using straightforward English correctly now apparently counts as "clever word play", and not understanding it appears to grant one some kind of bizarre moral high ground. "

    Still at it "apparently" and "some kind of". Do you ever really say anything? You also missed the 's I put around the word "clever" in my previous post. And here you are preaching to others about how they should read the entire post properly. And did I ever say I didn't understand it? The post itself showed understanding? And I use the word 'clever' not to mean intelligent or interllectual by the way. Yes you guessed it - it's derogatory! Have a sweetie for being so clever.

    "Full marks on the Herculean effort you're putting into being personally offended, though."

    Yeah I gave that up. It's obvioulsy not only me who thinks you're an idiot, so I've decided not to feel put out by an idiot. - Did you noice that, not a "sort of" or "apparently" in sight.

  • botherer #106 6 years ago

    Good heavens, I wish all these people puffing out their chests and announcing they're hitting the 'ignore' button would actually flipping well hit it.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #107 6 years ago

    Man, I really love it when people spell "intellectual" wrongly.

  • #108 6 years ago

    Because obviouslt intellect and spelling lie hand in hand!

    I love it when people equate knowledge to wisdom.

  • #109 6 years ago

    If you like Rev, I will go though and spell-check all my posts, just for you, so you can understand them. Would that make you happy son?

  • krudster #110 6 years ago

    Put the handbags away please, this is really boring.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #111 6 years ago

    Being patronising only works if you can convincingly convey intellectual superiority or at least age, dear, and I think I've got you covered on both of those. And I don't actually give a shit about your spelling or typing, I just find it especially funny to see somebody get that particular word wrong. If I was your English teacher, I'd be (Fired? - Ed) a lot more concerned at your total inability to understand the written word (and maybe mildly troubled at your lack of grasp of the proper use of apostrophes and quotation marks).

    Try not to have a heart attack, eh? As far as I can tell we don't actually disagree about anything, except which one of us is the moron.

  • Mr_Whacker #112 6 years ago

    @ all. Thank you so much - I haven't laughed at a thread this much in ages. Viva la childish internet strops!

  • botherer #113 6 years ago

    RevStu: "If I was your English teacher..."

    That should be "If I were your English teacher..." you thiko.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #114 6 years ago

    YOUR GAY.

  • botherer #115 6 years ago

    "I wish that when the only person defending one fairly bog-standard hack is another one"

    'thegamesthething', you are far more rude than you're willing to recognise. Please take it from me that you're being offensive and unpleasant.

    Above, you have criticised me personally, based on my job, not only damning me with faint insults, but also calling me a hack. My profession is my writing, and it's very important to me, and I pride myself on the quality of my work. You must recognise that this is a very different thing than pointing out that an anonymous blue nickname said a stupid thing. Especially when you, whoever you might be, *did* say stupid things, and I'm actually rather good at my job.

    If you were able to recognise this distinction, you would then see why Stuart's responses, while rude, were provoked and perhaps even deserved. Please take some time to consider this, rather than dismissing everything I've said out of hand and continuing to personally insult people.

    I've somewhat elaborated on this point here:

    http://botherer.crea m.org/?p=524
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 18:23

  • #116 6 years ago

    Sorry guys. I fell for the bait.
    Agent spam-a-lot was in the building!
    At home now and time far too precious to waste on wasters.
    Not playing GW:RE, due to other commitments, but still think it's a great game.

    Hey Rev, you've been a blast, you keep plugging away eh? I think it was the point where I basically admitted defeat and you continued to kick me in the nuts that I got pissed. I don't think you're a particularly nice guy, but I did like Cannon Fodder. I was also wondering how long it would be until you pulled the spelling card on me and I wasn't disappointed! I know I'm not the greatest speller but it's something I'm working on. "I don't actually give a shit about your spelling or typing" - then why commit an entire post to it? Beats me. Right, I'm moving on. Going to actually do some work tomorrow (I swear)! "I'd be a lot more concerned at your total inability to understand the written word". I seem to have muddled along eh?

    PS You'll notice I don't use a pseudonym either.

  • thegamesthething #117 6 years ago

    boherer - I agree with you entirely and will remove the comment, I used it to try and make a point. I personally find idiotic, illiterate, dickhead, twat and fuckwit very insulting. All of which arrived long before my comment. Perhaps when defending your friend you could consider that, and the reaction of every other person this thread to Stuarts comments.

  • chavatar #118 6 years ago

    That should be "If I were your English teacher..." you thiko

    +1 for your subjunctive opinion - LMAO ;)

    PS James - thought I'd mention I work with a bunch of technicians, and without fail their level of technical ability is proportionate to their inability to spell. Wear it as a badge of honour. I'd hate to generalise though!
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 19:54

  • jiveguy #119 6 years ago

    Just jumping on a bandwagon here, and I haven't read most of the posts here. But doesn't the stuart campbell chap, who apparently is some sort of games journalist and should probably know better, come off as the bigger idiot arguing on the internet than us random plebs?

    Just wondering.

  • chavatar #120 6 years ago

    jiveguy - well said. But this party is gone, man.

    Hop over to the botherer's hot article action @ http://botherer.crea m.org/?p=524 . No wait, that's dead too.

    Shame, I was planning on turning it into a 12 part mini-drama.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 21:11

  • thegamesthething #121 6 years ago

    go for it.

    and if anyone else jumps on we might need a second bandwagon.

    /shuffles up for jiveguy

  • InfiniteFury #122 6 years ago

    To cut a long story short I've been playing video/computer games now for about 24 years. Started with an Acorn Electron (my most faithful and revered machine) which lasted me many years. I skipped the whole Amiga & Spectrum thing so excuse me if I'm not into the whole Amiga-ELITE thing - I've skittered between PC games and the Sega Megadrive, then the SNES/PC, then the later consoles before ending up at the GC, PS1, PS2, Xbox, Xbox360 threshold. A lot of time has passed basically.

    I'm just a gamer - but having read up today on your achievements over the last 25 years Rev, your so-called Standing-Within-The-Industry, and how you've acted with your "inferiors" on this comment thread today, you strike me as the closest thing to Alan Partridge that the videogaming world has to offer.

    You're a nob son. And I've used apostrophes there and everything.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 21:26

  • Rodafowa #123 6 years ago

    Er... nope. Personally, I thought the random plebs took it by a short head. I didn't think you could use straw men as a climbing aid, but there were a whole gaggle of people up there on the moral high ground to prove me wrong.

    Or something.

    "Your friend is being childish!"
    "You insulted him."
    "He did it first!"

    Ho. Ho. Ho.

  • chavatar #124 6 years ago

    lol, indeed :D. But I think the random plebs are pulling ahead.

    The straw man point is apt - not that plebs would know about such debating tactics ;)

  • chavatar #125 6 years ago

    You're a nob son. And I've used apostrophes there and everything.

    Oh and classic, thank you!

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #126 6 years ago

    "You're a nob son. And I've used apostrophes there and everything."

    Try a comma or two as well. Your opinion is supported by fuck-all in the way of argument or reasoning, so you can wank yourself blind for all I care.

    (Sorry - did you imagine I'd go "Some random twat on the internet who thinks that 'InfiniteFury' is a kewl name for a grown adult says he thinks I'm a nob - oh man, how could I have been so foolish? I've seen the error of my ways!";)

    Bored.

  • Teeth #127 6 years ago

    Wait a minute. I want the last word.

  • InfiniteFury #128 6 years ago

    Edit:

    Nah. do you know what? I'm not stooping to it.

    You provide the ammo for every response to your posts and you know you do.

    Having said that, I know that Future are looking for proof readers so, if you need a few quid these days....
    Edited by 4 at 11/04/06 @ 23:07

  • BremXJones #129 6 years ago

    I was trying to work out, when looking at the front page, how on earth GW:RE had gone to over 150 posts. HOW???

    Ah. That's how.

    Er... trying to be voice of reason:

    1) Paying 300 quid for a new system to play either Geometry Wars or Gravity Wars 2 is clearly a pretty bad idea. C'mon - be honest for a second.
    2) Stuart's comment that you'd be better playing GW2 is actually fair. You probably own the machine you can play it on already (i.e. You're on the Internet). It's the one you probably can play already. Therefore, it's the one you *should* play now.
    3) X360 owners need to stop being so insecure about their purchases to really basic, non-offensive logic such as the above. GW:RE is awesome, but paying three hundred quid to play it is barking. You know this.
    4) Stuart should, perhaps, realise his manner gets in the way of his message sometimes.
    5) Everyone should go onto Stuart's argument why GW2 is splendid, as that's where the real interesting comparison between the two is rather than a PC R0x0r$!!! X360 Sux0rs!! or visa versa (And the idea of Stuart Campbell (STUART CAMPBELL!) as a PC Apologist is somewhat bizarre).

    KG

  • chavatar #130 6 years ago

    Oh no, don't spoil the fun. The cameras are rolling. Think page hits. There are some reasoned points in there I reckon

  • BremXJones #131 6 years ago

    I just think the most interesting thing about GW2 and GW:RE are themselves, not the systems they're on.

    Get with it, daddio.

    KG

  • Teeth #132 6 years ago

    Given Stuart's behaviour in this and every other thread in which I've seen him post, coupled with his eyesore of a web site (Is that him, holding up the world? Excellent content indeed), I see no reason to read what he's written, much less have a reasoned debate about it. Not that that would be possible anyway, evidently.

    Egomania.
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 23:14

  • jozz #133 6 years ago

    I think it's the way he put his argument that has riled people up more than the argument itself, as you say. He came off very condesending in his intial post and subsequently started this huge rambling train wreck of a comments thread.
    There were a number of posters before him who managed to make the very same point but with none of the venom or such an egotistical manor regardless of what he was actually talking about. Atleast that's what bugged me about it.

    Example A:

    "The freebie PC version is great too.
    Shame i'm totally rubbish at it now my Tempest skills have deserted me. :("

    And Stuarts post for comparisons sake:

    ""But you can play other games on the 360."

    But would you WANT to play any of them? And there's the difference, so far. You can buy a new PC for the same price as a 360 these days, and the stuff it can do justifies the cost a LOT better than Project Gotham Slightly Prettier Edition.

    Anyway, the cost has nothing to do with whether Grid Wars 2 is a better game than GWRE or not. It just is. Both are good games, in different ways, but it's like comparing Virtua Tennis to Pong."


    Which basically reads "I am RIGHT! you are WRONG!"

    Nothing to do with being insecure about a purchase and indeed whoever puts down £300 for an arcade game may have far too much cash to burn.

    That is all.




    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 23:24

  • BremXJones #134 6 years ago

    In which case, I point you back to the start of the thread before Stuart was linked, quoted and misrepresented in an insulting fashion, Stuart arrives, corrects and throws some insults back and we carry on in circles for 120 posts.

    In other words "Geometry Wars/Gravity Wars 2? What's best? What's the difference? Why should we play either?"

    Got a take on it, Teeth? If not, roll on through man. Nothing for you to see here.

    Me? I like them both. The idea that GW2 has a greater degree of strategy is true - it's also more unpredictable and dives in harder. While GR goes through an escalation of enemy viciousness, GW2 doesn' - at least to the same degree. This does mean that, for an expert, GW2 is more immediately challenging, while with GR you have to go through a "dead" zone of play where you're dealing with stuff you've almost completely mastered.

    I'd play them both. And, in fact, if you have a X360 and a PC, it's worth your while to play both. They're similar, yet very different.

    EDIT: Man, insert Grid Wars all the way through in the bits where I get it wrong. I'm drunk.

    KG
    Edited by 1 at 11/04/06 @ 23:25

  • Teeth #135 6 years ago

    That's fair enough Mr. G, I've played Gridwars 2 and while I have only Mutant Storm to compare it to (correct, I do not have a 360 and yet am posting in a 360 game's comments thread... you'll note I only weighed in in the first place to support the idea that Stuart was egospasming), I like its more measured pace, which I assume from seeing gameplay mocvies is one of the things that makes it different from Geometry Wars 2.

    I note that even when sober it seems impossible for Rev. Stuart Campbell to have the reasoned two-post discussion we just had.

    edit: The above assumes that Rev. Stuart Campbell is indeed sober throughout the day.
    Edited by 2 at 11/04/06 @ 23:38

  • Subquest #136 6 years ago

    It's funny, both the PC and the 360 probably have enough raw power to multitask 10 or more instances of either game. Both platforms could run each others version of the game without breaking a sweat - no need for a platform war here folks, move along.

    ------------------------------------------------- The line in the sand.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #137 6 years ago

    "Which basically reads "I am RIGHT! you are WRONG!" "

    The difference being, of course, that I'd already spent 4,000 words detailing, explaining and backing up that view in the feature, for anyone who was curious. Disagree? Fine, but LET'S FUCKING WELL HEAR WHY or you're just some arsehole wasting everyone's time.

    What's ironic is that the thing that bugs me about most of the idiots in this thread is their sheer *arrogance*. Look at "InfiniteFury"'s post. Exactly what part of that is it that's supposed to persuade us that his view counts for a donkey's dick?

    - the fact that he used to own an Acorn Electron?

    - the fact that he's called "InfiniteFury" despite clearly being in his 30s at least?

    - the strange hallucination that there's anything at all on my website detailing my "so-called Standing-Within-The-Industry" [sic]?

    Seriously - which of those is it that's supposed to make me or anyone else attach any weight to the view of some random anonymous twat that nobody knows the first thing about? Because there's absolutely sod-all in the way of debate in his post. Botherer asked the same question with impeccable politeness and got exactly the same brainless honking in reply that my slightly more belligerent tone did, so why bother being polite with morons who think that just because they say something hiding in darkness behind a wall, anyone on the face of the planet gives a flying fuck?

    People can argue with me all they like, I relish the opportunity to be proven wrong and if anyone actually puts an argument together, like I did, then they'll be accorded courtesy and reason appropriately. But this retarded playground bullshit deserves exactly as much respect as I give it.

  • chavatar #138 6 years ago

    It'll all look better in the morning, I hope ;)

  • Teeth #139 6 years ago

    /searches TCE for "stuart AND campbell"

    /pisses self wet

  • botherer #140 6 years ago

    Teeth, loathed as I am to continue involvement, no one has behaved more abysmally in this thread than you. You've been rude, deeply spiteful, and increasingly vulgar in your manner.

    I have no desire to engage you in conversation, but simply want to point out that if your goal is to admonish Stuart based on his character, you're possibly not going about it in the most convincing way.
    Edited by 1 at 12/04/06 @ 00:06

  • Teeth #141 6 years ago

    Whatever man, I think he's done it more than admirably himself. I'll leave it there. I look forward to your next review.

  • jozz #142 6 years ago

    Look, I made it perfectly clear above that I don't disagree or even care what you think about the game. The way you put forward your opinion and indeed continue to do so is what is so aggravating. I mean just look at your subsequent post for fuck sake. It reads like you have some serious rage issues.
    If you actually made your point civilly and didn't resort to throwing shit when people disagree with you in the first place maybe you wouldn't get some many people calling you a cock end...

    Bah, I don't care enough to carry this on I mean it's about a fucking game for God sake o_O

    Find your happy place and we can start a fresh in the morning if you like ;)

  • #143 6 years ago

    Home again, slightly pissed now!

    So. Rev, what was your problem with me? I don't use an pseudonym or anything!? Oh yeah, it's my basic failure to understand the english language.

    Anyone who pays £300 for GW:RE is a tit, and I certainly didn't! Similarly, anyone who suggests that £300 well-spent in a PC shop will get you up to the sheer gaming power of a 360 is a liar. I personally don't justify my layout to play GW:RE but to play the 'AAA' titles (sorry Rev. for the maybe incorrect use of the apostophies there) which I liked the look of. Hey if you're going to tell me I was wong and all the X360 titles are rubbish get the fuck off; no-one tells me what I can and can't like.

    Rev.: really I have nothing against you, I'm sure you're an OK guy in person, but man you are abbrasive. Working for you on Cannon Fodder 2 must have been pretty stressful - no wonder you did a lot of the level design yourself!

    I apologise in advance for the spelling errors contained in this post.
    Good Fight, Good Night.

  • botherer #144 6 years ago

    james - ignoring the majority of your rambling, I really want to pick up on:

    "Hey if you're going to tell me I was wong and all the X360 titles are rubbish get the fuck off; no-one tells me what I can and can't like."

    THIS IS A WEBSITE OF GAME REVIEWS!
    Edited by 1 at 12/04/06 @ 00:40

  • Bates #145 6 years ago

    Jesus, everyone involved in this debacle needs to get a friggin' grip, especially the bandwagon jumpers trying to keep it going. Slow claps all around.

  • onyxbox #146 6 years ago

    why is everyone so angry these days?

  • BartonFink #147 6 years ago

    @Bates - could not agree more.

    wow hitting ignore on two posters really cut that one down a lot.
    Edited by 1 at 12/04/06 @ 08:32

  • fluff_the_tiger #148 6 years ago

    we've still not forgiven you for that Magic Carpet 2 review.

    or that haircut.

  • InfiniteFury #149 6 years ago

    I've got to be honest Rev, I've only skimmed your post but I'm in my mid 20s, InfiniteFury is my Gamertag and for ease of convenience, I use it on computer forums so people know my Live tag.

    Unfortunately, I've not really absorbed your post much more than that and I can't really be bothered to respond. Mainly because I've woken up in quite a good mood today and I'm not going to waste that.

    "Another day, another tosser on the ignore list" is the way forward I think. I'd encourage you to think the same.
    Edited by 1 at 12/04/06 @ 09:27

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #150 6 years ago

    "To cut a long story short I've been playing video/computer games now for about 24 years."

    "I'm in my mid 20s"

    So you started when you were, what - two? That's impressive, man - I don't even *remember* anything before I was about five. I take it all back - you are uber-l33t h4rdc0re, and I will henceforth automatically accept your opinion on anything as the right one, even if you can't be bothered with such tiresome businesses as explaining or justifying it. Sorry, everyone. Sorry.

    I'm going to go away now and have a long hard think about what I've done.

  • #151 6 years ago

    Botherer
    ""Hey if you're going to tell me I was wong and all the X360 titles are rubbish get the fuck off; no-one tells me what I can and can't like."

    THIS IS A WEBSITE OF GAME REVIEWS! "

    I see a review as an informed OPINION, explaining why I MIGHT or MIGHT NOT like a game. Not a be-all and end-all decision.
    Try this argument out for size:
    "I know you hate marmite, because I hate it." I never tell people that they won't like a game or not, I try to tell them what it is I liked/disliked about it, and what about it they might like if they go for that sort of thing.
    For example, I'm not going to tell you that you'll like GW:RE more than GW2 just because I did.
    You'll notice I used the word "like" - a completely subjective word.
    I'm not quite sure what your problem with me is anyway? When did I ever take issue with anything you've said? (Until now of course!)

  • shamblemonkee #152 6 years ago

    Well actually going back on topic here O_O...

    After reading the review I downloaded the full version of this last night. My first go was pretty abysmal - a mere 5000 points. But this is a really addictive game and once you work out the controls and nuances the scores soon ramp up. I hate the little greeen diamonds! hate! The first time you hit one of the red circles and its subsequent implosion are serious "GAHaaarghomg!!" moments. While playing last night it caught the attention of everyone who entered the room and within seconds they were usually exclaiming "WOW", "AAAGH" or "HOLYSH*T!" at the amount of stuff going on screen.

    The screen is soo full of explosions and flashing crap sometimes you think they might just as well have called it EPILEPSY! ;o)

    For the price this is a great game to sit down and get some immediate enjoyment out of - although as some other have said, the initial stages can get tedious once you've mastered them.

    Still it's great little game (regardless of what platform it's on) that's addictive and challenging in the same way as tetris and suchlike. I defy anyone to not enjoy playing it.

  • Helios #153 6 years ago

    I reached 200000 survived before my demo time ran out yesterday :D

  • #154 6 years ago

    Do you still get the achievements/score recorded if you only have the demo version?
    If not I'd be soo annoyed if I'd got that far with no record of it!
    Well done though

    Monkey - great post, the sort of thing that should be posted and puts the rest of us to shame.

  • PearOfAnguish #155 6 years ago

    Can EG add an ignore-everyone-but-Rev-Stu button, please.
    Edited by 1 at 12/04/06 @ 15:01

  • Helios #156 6 years ago

    Nah, no acheivements. I intend to buy the game pretty soon though.

  • chavatar #157 6 years ago

    yeah, get with it daddio ;)

  • Bezzy #158 6 years ago

    "Your recollection skills are almost as good as your command of English. I don't recommend an application to The Krypton Factor."

    What a ball face. The Krypton Factor isn't even on telly anymore! Idiota!

    And Sensible Soccer ripped off the sport of SOCCER.

  • Rev.StuartCampbell #159 6 years ago

    "What a ball face. The Krypton Factor isn't even on telly anymore!"

    Well, it is, on satellite repeats. But the poster concerned was a bit thick and might not have realised that they couldn't be on it any more, hence my helpful advice. (See, the joke was that they were dim.)

    DO try to keep up, man.

  • Bezzy #160 6 years ago

    I was always really good at the observation round!

    "His shirt was RED!!!"

  • Bezzy #161 6 years ago

    Oh, Knightmare was great, too!!!

    I like how they freezed time at the end. It was like, Gondry, eat your heart out!

  • Bezzy #162 6 years ago

    "Ten seconds!!"

    "Get the crystal! GET THE CRYSTAL!!"

    "NO GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!"

  • Bezzy #163 6 years ago

    "I'm Andy Crane"

    "And I have a lithp"

    "And this is... BAD INFLUENCE."

  • S.J.Rogers #164 6 years ago

    I think Marble Blast Ultra is a better xbla game than GW RE.

    It costs more but you can play people online with it.

    Its kept me up into the wee small hours..!

  • Bezzy #165 6 years ago

    Sorry, but what's that got to do with 80's/90's telly?

  • S.J.Rogers #166 6 years ago

    I was choosing to ignore what was being said about things off topic from the discussion at hand..!

    What is 80s & 90s Telly discussion doing on a Computer game website comments page?

  • botherer #167 6 years ago

    If you don't know, then we can't talk to you.

  • shamblemonkee #168 6 years ago

    Well since my on topic post failed....

    the REV. you're an arrogant cock.
    knightmare is still great on the reruns.
    krypton factor was alway a gay subordinate of the crystal maze
    andy crane was better than violet
    wtf was the databurst at the end of Bad Influence about it was shite
    bits was the best computer telly programme ever
    wednesday is a bad night for drinking

    Edited by 1 at 13/04/06 @ 00:27

  • S.J.Rogers #169 6 years ago

    Thought i would join in...

    I agree Shamblemonkee, Krpton factor was CRAP and the Crystal Maze was cool but the CM came along well after KF...
    Edited by 1 at 13/04/06 @ 01:48

  • Bezzy #170 6 years ago

    They fucking WRECKED Tomorrow's World. That show used to be ace before Phillippa "What's a Robort?" Forrester and John "Zena Bedawe" Snow started presenting it and killed it into the ground.

    I liked it because they filmed outside the back of the BBC sometimes, and I used to live on the street behind the BBC!! It made me really famous in school! People would look at me and talk to each other in awe filled whispers:

    "Who is that?"

    "You mean you don't know? That's the guy who lives just behind the BBC in frithville gardens! You can join today!"

    "What?"

    "Yaaaay!!"

    You could go into the park, and go into the overgrown area (back when paedophiles didn't exist, so it was safe), and climb the wall and look into the Blue Peter garden. But they filmed during school, so I never saw them with cameras out :(

  • thegamesthething #171 6 years ago

    As an aside from the TV discussion, if you are Jim (thegamesthething), John (botherer), Stuart (Reverend) or Nick (chavatar), or one of the 'idiots' referred to, or just very very very very bored, come join us :)

    http://botherer.crea m.org/?p=524

  • bloodflowers #172 6 years ago

    There's a saying about speaking the devils name.

    On topic - great game, 400 points is -nothing- in the scheme of life (measured in pints, not pizzas) - well worth getting the full version of. Actually prefer Mutant Storm, but mostly because it has a nicely laid back atmosphere. And I'm not even touching PC vs 360 with a 10 foot pole.

    (PCs suck for games ;-)

  • monkeyspasm #173 6 years ago

    The posters huffing & puffing about Stuart seem to know a rather disturbing amount about him - it would suggest that some have a rather unhealthy (and possibly long-standing) grudge against him.

    Comments like 'Go play with your rat', I mean.

    I just think there are a lot of blinkered idiots here these days. And Stuart's not one of 'em. He's a well respected writer, who has justified his stance completely. Unlike some of you ridiculous, easily outraged cretins who can't back up their argument.

    He didn't link to his article. He merely defended it when others GOT THE FACTS WRONG.

    A bit abrasively, yes. But Stuart Campbell IS well known - I'd imagine it's not great fun having your work slagged incorrectly on the internet when a lot of people know who you are.

    It doesn't matter if some of you -shock- don't use pseudonyms, the vast majority don't know (or care) who you are.

    And as for the chap saying 'Actually, forget the drink' as though he'd care that you don't want to go for a pint with him (and you suggested it in the first place sounding serious...!). That's just spooky, man.

    It's like a nasty, spiteful vendetta with some of you lot. You like the thrill of an industry figure arguing back, admit it.

    You all sound like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.

    Give it a rest, eh.
    Edited by 1 at 17/04/06 @ 23:50

  • Bates #174 6 years ago

    "It's like a nasty, spiteful vendetta with some of you lot."

    That's the primary reason some people seem to post on this site from what I've seen.