Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball Comments by Tom Bramwell

I think 3 is too harsh. It is afterall a beautiful game

Sounds like one of those weird Japanese 'girlfriend videos', only you have some control over the juggling.

HOT BABES !

PHOOAAARRRRWWW !

Anybody who tries to argue the merits of DOAX as a sort of virtual feminist retreat either has a loose grip on reality, or a firm grip on his penis

heh.

I think 3 is too harsh. It is afterall a beautiful game

Good graphics do not a good score make. Unless you're an 'official' mag.

What can i say?
I'm shalow

Errol PHOOAAARRRRWWWed

I take it the little general nodded there did he?

SOFTCORE PORN ALERT!!!

OMFG

SOFTCORE PORN ALERT!!!

OMFG

OMG please tell me no-one finds that remotely stimulating. Please. Surely no-one's that sad? Oh and btw that link was NSFW brutal... ;)

I really think we need a new scoring system. Personally I have never seen a better scoring system than the one IGN use.

hence the softcore porn alert ;)

lol

i think its funny...

That is about the first sensible review I've read of this pile of shite..

Well done Tom!

Peej

OMG please tell me no-one finds that remotely stimulating. Please. Surely no-one's that sad? Oh and btw that link was NSFW brutal... ;)

That link was hilarious ! We need more games featuring acurate female genitalia.

I really think we need a new scoring system. Personally I have never seen a better scoring system than the one IGN use.

Why do we need a new scoring system? Surely this would still have scored 3 even if Eurogamer used an IGN style score?

Methinks a 10-day trial at Game is in order... I wanna play it and, as my girlfriend told me: "I'll play it and you watch... after all, that's all you want to do, isn't it?"

Mwahaha.

We need more games featuring acurate female genitalia.

Errol if you think that's accurate then my friend it is time you got some.

Well, it is more accurate than any other game, considering that other games do not feature female gentitalia at all.

"But we've spent a lot of time with it now, and it seems that the more you play it, the easier it is to appreciate why you should play it."

hehehe. I wouldn't spend a lot of time with a 3/10 game. ;)

I'm confused. 3/10? Reading the review, it sounds like you really liked the game! Then in the last paragraph you do a u-turn because it upsets your girlfriend or something.

I believe the score is based on the fact that while a bit of fun, there's not enough game in there to warrant £40. Like it says in the Conclusion. :)

An apologia for serial masturbation?

heh.

instead of screenshots, for this game, there should be movies...

So you didn't borrow Edge Magazines "rose tinted glasses" ;)

I must admit to a crush on on of the DOA girls though. :)

"If that's the world of women today then I'm glad I moved to Brighton. Anybody who tries to argue the merits of DOAX as a sort of virtual feminist retreat either has a loose grip on reality, or a firm grip on his penis."

LMFAO!

So you didn't borrow Edge Magazines "rose tinted glasses"

Don't you mean their 'Microsoft tainted wallet'?

Pile of Shite! Frankly unbeliveable that some sites and mags gave this OK to Good scores. If there was any kind of proper volleyball game there then maybe but please......
Fit chicks though!

Thank you for that score :)

i've played this a couple of times now, i find it hard to hate it, and 3/10 sounds a little on the harsh side. the gameplay is better than i originally suspected that it might have been, but that said theres no chance in hell that i'd actually buy it.

I've just submitted this review to Gamerankings - should lower that 75% average a bit. :)
Believe it or not, some sites have given this 5/5, though. Seriously.

I can't wait until the Americans wake up.

"YOU SUCK! THIS IS THE BESTEST GAME EVER! IT HSA BRILLYNT GRAPHICS AND IS FOR XBOX!!!!! PS2 SUCKS!!!!"

:-)

1f yuo d0nt 1ove da0xvb thne u ar teh g4y

Fantastic review. Well done Tom, for totally exploring the inner workings of the game, and then making sure we all realise just what we'd be paying £40 for... and it's not a volleyball game.

Theres a new version of the patch that includes nipples and pubic hair....

http://www.omake.de/daox


and yes there are some REALLY SAD people out threre

And if the reactions last time we wrote anything about DOAX are anything to go by, I'm sure ALL those sad people will be here to post their disgust at our failure to realise how wonderful DOAX is shortly... :)

Errr.... 3/10? No, no, no. I'd seriously give it 0-1/10.

I'm sure ALL those sad people will be here to post their disgust at our failure to realise how wonderful DOAX is shortly... :)

In fact they'd be here already but they can't type that fast, they're all suffering from RSI of the wrists, so they're having to tip-tip-tap away on their keyboards with a long pointy stick attached to their foreheads instead.

I'm sure ALL those sad people will be here to post their disgust at our failure to realise how wonderful DOAX is shortly... :)

Anyone else noticed how that doesn't happen anymore lately ?
Seems to me that eurogamer is populated by 50 or so registerd users, almost all UK residents, and big gamecube fans.
That and one guy from belgium.

FeZZ wrote:
'Anyone else noticed how that doesn't happen anymore lately ?
Seems to me that eurogamer is populated by 50 or so registerd users, almost all UK residents, and big gamecube fans.
That and one guy from belgium.'

Bitter?

You mustn't forget the swede.

I'm sure ALL those sad people will be here to post their disgust at our failure to realise how wonderful DOAX is shortly... :)

Anyone else noticed how that doesn't happen anymore lately ?
Seems to me that eurogamer is populated by 50 or so registerd users, almost all UK residents, and big gamecube fans.
That and one guy from belgium.
The less rabble (particularly american teen fanboi arse-biscuit rabble) the better. Anyone with a reasonable argument for or against... well anything, is welcomed with open arms... and jaffa cakes.

Frankly you'd have to be a bit blinkered to think that everyone left on the site is a Cube fanboy. That smacks of defensive overreaction. There's a fairly balanced smattering of all three fanboy flavours, with a preponderance of balanced types who are happy to own all three. Dunno why there's this need on the part of two or three individuals to see every positive comment about the Cube or negative comment about Microsoft as some conspiracy to suppress the mighty truth about the Xbox. Fact: reviewer reviews Xbox game, thinks it's shit, gives it low score. Get over it already. It's not a criticism of your technologically elite, aesthetically seductive system and its mighty back-catalogue of must-have genuine exclusives you know... o_O

Otto, a simple, no i don't agree would have been fine, no need to get all emotional and stuff.

I just was thinking, If I'd shown this game to the guys and girls I go out with, I pretty sure they would think it would be a great laugh.

Now most guys here think the hole idea of a game with olmost nude girls is generaly wrong.

What gives? are you so up thight, or is it the hole xbox thing again ??

But then I realised, anyone that ever tried to argue, has left.

No, most people that like to argue are still here. Only those people who can't stand hearing people disagree with them have left.

Cough good xbox review cough.

Perhaps (and this one is from left field) the game is actually shit no matter what platform it was on?

Maybe if you took a decent game, lets say Pro Evolution Soccer, and replaced all the players with scantily clad ladies then you'd have the best of both worlds. Rather than virtual ladies hiding what is ultimatley Hoyle casino collection + Volley Ball for dummies in fancy clothes.

Right otto,
And what subject did the last arguement have ?
The only subjects that get some discussion going where zelda and metroid prime.
The arguement was about how great these games really are.
reaaally great apparently

FeZZ obviously you don't visit the forum. Nothing but arguments in there.

hmmm.. the amount of time clearly spent on cracking the hard-drive textures to get "nude" characters makes me cringe, i far from hate the game - but £40 is too much money for titaliation

Anyone with a reasonable argument for or against... well anything, is welcomed with open arms... and jaffa cakes.

You all DO realise you're going to have to give me taste of Jaffa cakes when I come over for the meet.

Hey great review , I am a little confused with the reviews lately though... first the hotd3 with the two scores one a 3/10 and one a 8/10. Next this perplexing review which seems to be upon a read a shocking endorsement of this volleyball /holiday sim???? and ending with a 3/10??????????. Hope no Sony or Nintendo executives are filling anyones pockets with the some sweetness??????? ;). No problem though as the consistency from the preview was there with the score if not the review??????hmmmmmm. maybe I should rent this puppy out !. what ever happened to the review of the 2 light guns for hotd?????????. Also I played sim city on the pc years ago... is this game kinda like that or are "the sims" or jurasic park builder close?????... just curious.... p.s. there was a stategy game coming out for the box with medieval warriors... looked sorta like advance wars in 3-d any idea when thats due?????. p.s. I was just kidding about the payolla scheme, just thought the reviews were weird!!!!

can you play with just one hand on the pad?