Britney's Dance Beat Review
Review - the Queen of rhythm-action?
Version tested: PlayStation 2
Hit me baby

This stage is set next to some sort of roof-garden with a big screen
After a long wait, Britney's Dance Beat is finally sitting on shop shelves up and down the country for the cheapish price of £29.99, but despite the developer's valiant efforts, not even Britney's vast, heaving… beats can steal the rhythm-action crown from the game's Japanese competition. But it's fun for a little while.
That said, the game gets off to a bad start by presenting what is surely an award-winning seven trademark and logo screens. Shortly after your tea is finished brewing, the now infamous CG effigy of Britney pops up and invites you to audition for her dancing entourage. Admittedly she looks more like a very good waxwork sculpture than anything else, and the voice actress attempting to inject some authentic Britnage into proceedings fails to suppress the southern drawl a couple of times, but otherwise it's Britney. [I knew you'd get distracted. The game, Tom, write about the game! -Ed]
The main body of Britney's Dance Beat is given over to the Audition section. You pick one of six characters (three extremely camp blokes, two fanciable young lasses and a crazed black woman) and take part in a series of ten auditions by tapping buttons in time to the music. Five Britney tracks are included, and you play a chunk of each for the first five auditions, before enduring a complete recital of each for the final five. The tracks (Hit me baby, Oops… I did it again, Stronger, Overprotected and Slave 4 U) are suitably infectious, and are ordered by tempo, which adds some variation.
Oops…

The Oops stage is the only one which resembles its video counterpart
As your character and a rival gyrate on-screen, you are expected to keep an eye on a little radar in the bottom corner (nothing new there) and tap the face and directional buttons as the pointer highlights them in time to the beat. If you hit the beat, you get either a "Good" or "Perfect!" rating for that beat and some points. At first it's extremely forgiving, with the slow tempo of "Hit me baby" and the lack of variation giving players the chance to string beats together, and the fact that most of us will know the tunes makes it all the more easy, but before long though, the player is expected to utilise all the face buttons, the directional buttons, and the two in sync, and the beats are ordered much closer together. As a challenge though, this I could accept. But then there's your adversary.
Quite why auditions are being held in competing pairs is beyond me, but they are, and if you or your opponent string a ten-button combo together, the game 'messes' with the other player's radar, changing required button presses at the last minute, moving them around, and even doing both of the above and separating the stacked directional and face buttons so as to completely confuse you. By the end of the single player game (and with only five shortish pop songs, it won't take too long), you are completely overwhelmed and in no position to complete the tasks presented (especially at the increased pace of the latter songs) without playing through them repeatedly until you know the order. The order and button requirements change from character to character of course, negating anything you may recall of a level and so the process is repeated ad nauseum.
Stronger

Stronger... than a paddling pool
After a while, you are good enough to consistently string combos together in multiples of ten (actually, your humble reviewer has completed certain levels without missing a beat), but your opponent can apparently compete, and since the outcome of the audition is decided based on a yellow "tug of war" bar at the bottom of the screen, he or she often manages to win thanks to completely inhuman reactions.
The points you amass from victories go towards your next backstage pass, and this is where the game gets a bit daft. Your passes can be used to unlock behind the scenes footage and "immersive videos". The behind the scenes stuff is a collage of random footage from a Britney tour with the young starlet being thrown around and all sorts, but it lacks sound and is accompanied by some frankly awful remixes of the main Britney tunes. Worse still are the "immersive videos", which are actually just concert videos with a QuickTime VR-style rotating camera. The footage is low-res, the sound quality is slightly garbled, and the performances are, as with a lot of concert-recorded stuff, only vaguely watchable. I would have and the kids definitely would have preferred to unlock the actual music videos for each of the game's five songs. A missed opportunity.
But then, Britney's Dance Beat is full of missed opportunities. For example, it supports dance mats, but it's almost completely impossible to finish this way, and it has a pause menu so that you can catch your breath, but hitting start again chooses whichever option is selected, and there is no "continue" option, so it's back to the beginning of the level. And even with the benefit of a handicap system, the two-player mode is extremely one-sided, but it wouldn't have been if there was an option to stop the old ten-combo-switcheroo.
Crazy

Hit me baby, hit me with an aquarium
Graphically, it's one part "Slave 4 U" to eleven parts album filler. The six dancers are extremely detailed, right down to chains hanging from their belts and pretentious hairstyles, and the motion-captured dance routines, although completely linear, are almost hypnotic to watch (which is presumably the reason why there's a game mode where you can do just that). Britney herself pops up for "Bonus time" if you play well enough, but she's at a lower resolution than her counterpart from the introductory cinematic.
Our criticisms of the graphics mostly come down to the unmoving, unblinking rigidity of the characters and the background graphics. The female dancers are nicely detailed and frankly quite attractive, and the male dancers might as well be the S Club 7 trio, but none of them has any fluidity. The more they dance, the more you notice the lack of hair movement, that their clothes hug their bodies without moving, and that, with apologies to our female readers, nothing obvious happens when the young ladies jump up and down like excited school girls. Not very lifelike, and not exactly titillating either, which was clearly the aim.
The background sets wheeled out for each audition are quite spartan, and could be mistaken for simple 3D environment art projects, but they don't interfere too much, except on the "Hit me baby" level, when the background colour occasionally causes a little mishap. If they are just there to stand and be ignored though, why not use the sets from the music videos? Why not just use the music videos in the first place? Speaking of which, the music videos play on big screens in the background on each of the stages, but for some reason they aren't in time with the music…
Of course, because the game is too difficult, the single player game will get a greater workout than the unbalance multiplayer mode, and for that you won't get the chance to soak up the graphics at all, so arguably none of this matters a jot.
Conclusion
Rhythm-action games are - with a couple of exceptions - generally noted for their wacky graphics, zany music and addictive gameplay. Britney's Dance Beat makes a valiant effort to live up to its forerunners, but falls slightly flat thanks to a mixture of poor game design and a vicious learning curve. It's addictive enough if you put the hours in, but it's almost impossible to hook casually interested mates on the multiplayer mode, and with only five songs, it won't be long before it grates on you.
5 / 10
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Comments (60) Latest comment 8 years ago
Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!
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As for this game and Britney: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! (But I would put a similar number of a's in a comment about Celine Dion)
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They could call it Britney's Dance Beat Off.
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I've no love for Britney, but to put her in the same bracket as Dion is just wrong.
I'd like Britney to stop making records. I'd like Celine Dion to die for her crimes.
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Pancake - can you remember your first time over a videogame? Sorry, had to ask!
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LMAO
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Hehe, Im still a virgin in that department. Hopefully a Kylie mod of this game will fix that
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Have no interest at all in Britney, tho, let alone this game. Then again, I said the same about FFX which I finally bought.
Hm.
/me checks wallet
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So that'd be more of a "Britney's Dead Meat"?
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Why does your nob need gagging ?
Pray tell.
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Britney is a joke. Kylie is a lovely joke that can sing but not on her own (hear "Murder Ballads" from Nick Cave to know what I mean).
Now, a game with Shirley Manson... that would be nice.
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I'd still do her though. To put it crudely.
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You'd do an insuflatable doll, so of course you'd do Britney (thinking again, there's probably not much difference... oh yeah, the doll keeps silent).
Anyway, I doubt she'd do you
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*cough*
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I hear that in most of the cases, it's after you marry that you stop having sex.
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Not true. Since getting wed, my right hand and I have never had such a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
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You left handed ?
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No - but if you put in enough practice with your *analogue stick*, you can work wonders. :-/
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Hardly, she obviously not everyone's taste (musically that is!) but she certainly isn't about to disappear anytime soon.
I just hope her role in the next season of Buffy is pretty minor...
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Are we talking about the same amazingly fickle pop industry here? How many acts have endured who weren't around during the seventies and eighties?
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Not true. Since getting wed, my right hand and I have never had such a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
LOL!
/wipes away a tear of mirth and reflects on the truth of it all...
*sigh*
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So, did Mackie get that job in the end?
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I agree. Shallow, repetitive, corporate-produced trash. Looks nice, sounds awful, wouldn't want the missus to catch you with it. The comparisons are endless.
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If he did, he beat me to it...it's my lifelong ambition to write for Eurogamer...!
Peej
http://member s.lycos.co.uk/turdpolisher
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Being pretty lazy Id probably just quote the press release and put STINKY or LOVELY at the end. I am aware this would result in a somewhat polar rating system but I wouldnt be forcing you to bloody read it would I?
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I admire Bramwell. But if he let me post a review on his site, and then criticised me for my polar rating system, I'd say oi! No!
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Hey, Brit! I'm your biggest fan, I am! I have all your videos taped off of the telly! I wore out Toxic.
Um...
Fuck.
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Hi! I'm kevin from the Philippines, Hey Britney wtaz up!!? You know Britney I'm your fan scince I saw your music video "Lucky". You know, for me you're the me the most sexiest girl I've ever seen before, hey Britney
I just want to say that I love when perform in the dance floor and I love when you smile. Ihope that I can see you in person or even I can chat with you...Bye, I will be your fan forever, Ilove you!!! Take care always!!!