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Britney's Dance Beat Review

PlayStation 2 Review by Tom Bramwell

8 July, 2002

Hit me baby

'Britney's Dance Beat' Screenshot jan02b

This stage is set next to some sort of roof-garden with a big screen

After a long wait, Britney's Dance Beat is finally sitting on shop shelves up and down the country for the cheapish price of £29.99, but despite the developer's valiant efforts, not even Britney's vast, heaving… beats can steal the rhythm-action crown from the game's Japanese competition. But it's fun for a little while.

That said, the game gets off to a bad start by presenting what is surely an award-winning seven trademark and logo screens. Shortly after your tea is finished brewing, the now infamous CG effigy of Britney pops up and invites you to audition for her dancing entourage. Admittedly she looks more like a very good waxwork sculpture than anything else, and the voice actress attempting to inject some authentic Britnage into proceedings fails to suppress the southern drawl a couple of times, but otherwise it's Britney. [I knew you'd get distracted. The game, Tom, write about the game! -Ed]

The main body of Britney's Dance Beat is given over to the Audition section. You pick one of six characters (three extremely camp blokes, two fanciable young lasses and a crazed black woman) and take part in a series of ten auditions by tapping buttons in time to the music. Five Britney tracks are included, and you play a chunk of each for the first five auditions, before enduring a complete recital of each for the final five. The tracks (Hit me baby, Oops… I did it again, Stronger, Overprotected and Slave 4 U) are suitably infectious, and are ordered by tempo, which adds some variation.

Oops…

'Britney's Dance Beat' Screenshot jan04b

The Oops stage is the only one which resembles its video counterpart

As your character and a rival gyrate on-screen, you are expected to keep an eye on a little radar in the bottom corner (nothing new there) and tap the face and directional buttons as the pointer highlights them in time to the beat. If you hit the beat, you get either a "Good" or "Perfect!" rating for that beat and some points. At first it's extremely forgiving, with the slow tempo of "Hit me baby" and the lack of variation giving players the chance to string beats together, and the fact that most of us will know the tunes makes it all the more easy, but before long though, the player is expected to utilise all the face buttons, the directional buttons, and the two in sync, and the beats are ordered much closer together. As a challenge though, this I could accept. But then there's your adversary.

Quite why auditions are being held in competing pairs is beyond me, but they are, and if you or your opponent string a ten-button combo together, the game 'messes' with the other player's radar, changing required button presses at the last minute, moving them around, and even doing both of the above and separating the stacked directional and face buttons so as to completely confuse you. By the end of the single player game (and with only five shortish pop songs, it won't take too long), you are completely overwhelmed and in no position to complete the tasks presented (especially at the increased pace of the latter songs) without playing through them repeatedly until you know the order. The order and button requirements change from character to character of course, negating anything you may recall of a level and so the process is repeated ad nauseum.

Stronger

'Britney's Dance Beat' Screenshot jan06b

Stronger... than a paddling pool

After a while, you are good enough to consistently string combos together in multiples of ten (actually, your humble reviewer has completed certain levels without missing a beat), but your opponent can apparently compete, and since the outcome of the audition is decided based on a yellow "tug of war" bar at the bottom of the screen, he or she often manages to win thanks to completely inhuman reactions.

The points you amass from victories go towards your next backstage pass, and this is where the game gets a bit daft. Your passes can be used to unlock behind the scenes footage and "immersive videos". The behind the scenes stuff is a collage of random footage from a Britney tour with the young starlet being thrown around and all sorts, but it lacks sound and is accompanied by some frankly awful remixes of the main Britney tunes. Worse still are the "immersive videos", which are actually just concert videos with a QuickTime VR-style rotating camera. The footage is low-res, the sound quality is slightly garbled, and the performances are, as with a lot of concert-recorded stuff, only vaguely watchable. I would have and the kids definitely would have preferred to unlock the actual music videos for each of the game's five songs. A missed opportunity.

But then, Britney's Dance Beat is full of missed opportunities. For example, it supports dance mats, but it's almost completely impossible to finish this way, and it has a pause menu so that you can catch your breath, but hitting start again chooses whichever option is selected, and there is no "continue" option, so it's back to the beginning of the level. And even with the benefit of a handicap system, the two-player mode is extremely one-sided, but it wouldn't have been if there was an option to stop the old ten-combo-switcheroo.

Crazy

'Britney's Dance Beat' Screenshot jan07b

Hit me baby, hit me with an aquarium

Graphically, it's one part "Slave 4 U" to eleven parts album filler. The six dancers are extremely detailed, right down to chains hanging from their belts and pretentious hairstyles, and the motion-captured dance routines, although completely linear, are almost hypnotic to watch (which is presumably the reason why there's a game mode where you can do just that). Britney herself pops up for "Bonus time" if you play well enough, but she's at a lower resolution than her counterpart from the introductory cinematic.

Our criticisms of the graphics mostly come down to the unmoving, unblinking rigidity of the characters and the background graphics. The female dancers are nicely detailed and frankly quite attractive, and the male dancers might as well be the S Club 7 trio, but none of them has any fluidity. The more they dance, the more you notice the lack of hair movement, that their clothes hug their bodies without moving, and that, with apologies to our female readers, nothing obvious happens when the young ladies jump up and down like excited school girls. Not very lifelike, and not exactly titillating either, which was clearly the aim.

The background sets wheeled out for each audition are quite spartan, and could be mistaken for simple 3D environment art projects, but they don't interfere too much, except on the "Hit me baby" level, when the background colour occasionally causes a little mishap. If they are just there to stand and be ignored though, why not use the sets from the music videos? Why not just use the music videos in the first place? Speaking of which, the music videos play on big screens in the background on each of the stages, but for some reason they aren't in time with the music…

Of course, because the game is too difficult, the single player game will get a greater workout than the unbalance multiplayer mode, and for that you won't get the chance to soak up the graphics at all, so arguably none of this matters a jot.

Conclusion

Rhythm-action games are - with a couple of exceptions - generally noted for their wacky graphics, zany music and addictive gameplay. Britney's Dance Beat makes a valiant effort to live up to its forerunners, but falls slightly flat thanks to a mixture of poor game design and a vicious learning curve. It's addictive enough if you put the hours in, but it's almost impossible to hook casually interested mates on the multiplayer mode, and with only five songs, it won't be long before it grates on you.

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Comments: 1-50 of 64 in total | next 50 »

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Errol
08/07/02 @ 14:13
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Oh yeah, baby.
swede
08/07/02 @ 14:21
#2
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can you configure the controller to play with just one hand?
otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 14:26
#3
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can you configure the game to play your own mp3 collection instead?
otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 14:31
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I'd sooner buy Celine Dion: Snouts of Justice than this shite.
Super Stu
08/07/02 @ 14:43
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My missus asked if I was going to buy this. I don't know whether to be titilated or digusted.
otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 14:48
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Relevant link. Sample quote: "if in fact someone actually has a fetish that means they can only become aroused by videogame babes, by all means, allow that someone to indulge him or herself. For the rest of you, I say this: Go buy porn."
jaa
08/07/02 @ 14:56
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otto: I think Errol has that fetish. :)

As for this game and Britney: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh! (But I would put a similar number of a's in a comment about Celine Dion)
Eldritch
08/07/02 @ 15:04
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This is begging for a Special Edition Bundle with a year's supply of Kleenex.
Blerk
08/07/02 @ 15:07
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This is begging for a Special Edition Bundle with a year's supply of Kleenex.

They could call it Britney's Dance Beat Off. :-)
Pirotic
08/07/02 @ 15:22
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why not just call it 'Britney's' cos thats all they are interested in.
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 15:26
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"I would put a similar number of a's in a comment about Celine Dion"

I've no love for Britney, but to put her in the same bracket as Dion is just wrong.

I'd like Britney to stop making records. I'd like Celine Dion to die for her crimes.
Startled Pancake
08/07/02 @ 15:29
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What about a Kylie version? PC's are a grown man's domain and grown men couldnt give even the most nonchalant w@nk for Britnay Spears.

otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 15:32
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Startled, a couple of remarks, firstly this is for PS2 not PC, and secondly WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL WOULD ANY GROWN MAN BE DOING PLAYING A GAME LIKE THIS?? sorry just asking ;)
Killerbee
08/07/02 @ 15:35
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Mugwum - Please tell us you were actually sent a review copy of this for a change and didn't actually go and buy it...
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 15:36
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Otto - I can think of a couple of major reasons.

Pancake - can you remember your first time over a videogame? Sorry, had to ask!
Startled Pancake
08/07/02 @ 15:37
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Id play it if it was Kylie. Kylies non-thinking mans crumpet, I respect that :-).
Nemesis
08/07/02 @ 15:37
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Pancake man, walk away. She's admitted that she's airbrushed and has cellulite.

Whizzo
08/07/02 @ 15:38
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I'll admit to playing the demo from the official PS2 mag, wasn't at all impressed by it even for a hit the button type game it was pretty tedious.
Mr Sleep
08/07/02 @ 15:39
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They could call it Britney's Dance Beat Off. :-)

LMAO :D
Startled Pancake
08/07/02 @ 15:41
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Pancake - can you remember your first time over a videogame? Sorry, had to ask!

Hehe, Im still a virgin in that department. Hopefully a Kylie mod of this game will fix that:-)
kuran
08/07/02 @ 15:42
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I'm pretty sure this is a review of the PS2 version! :)

I'm also pretty sure that a lot of grown men are interested in this..
kuran
08/07/02 @ 15:43
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My first time was over Sakura in Street Fighter Alpha 2 on Saturn.... sorry
Startled Pancake
08/07/02 @ 15:43
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Nemesis - Dead cat mailed to you pal!
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 15:46
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kuran - Right, jump, wait, wait, and pause! Damn! Jump, wait, wait...
UncleLou
08/07/02 @ 15:47
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Just checked this out on amazon to see if there were any user reviews already, not considering this will seriously flaw my recommendations list for YEARS to come!

Have no interest at all in Britney, tho, let alone this game. Then again, I said the same about FFX which I finally bought.
Hm.
/me checks wallet
otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 15:50
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As I think I said last time, the only way you could get me to play this game would be with the sound off and with a light gun.
Blerk
08/07/02 @ 15:56
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with the sound off and with a light gun

So that'd be more of a "Britney's Dead Meat"? :-)
Super Stu
08/07/02 @ 15:57
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I'm sure many owners of this game will be using their light gun.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 08/07/02 @ 16:58
swede
08/07/02 @ 15:59
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otto - is that what you call it eh? your 'light gun'?
Nemesis
08/07/02 @ 15:59
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Er Pancake I'll tell Kylie to watch out for anything stiff being posted through the box then.
otto [mod]
08/07/02 @ 16:05
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excellent nob gags guys, keep it up! (DOH)
Errol
08/07/02 @ 16:14
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They sent you a 'nob gag' ? What do you use it for ?

Why does your nob need gagging ?

Pray tell.
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 16:15
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Hair trigger?
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 16:15
#34
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Incontinent?
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 16:16
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(Sorry).
jaa
08/07/02 @ 16:21
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Boys, control your hormones, please. And use that link otto posted.

Britney is a joke. Kylie is a lovely joke that can sing but not on her own (hear "Murder Ballads" from Nick Cave to know what I mean).

Now, a game with Shirley Manson... that would be nice.
Errol
08/07/02 @ 16:28
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Britney is a joke

I'd still do her though. To put it crudely.
jaa
08/07/02 @ 16:36
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I'd still do her though. To put it crudely.

You'd do an insuflatable doll, so of course you'd do Britney (thinking again, there's probably not much difference... oh yeah, the doll keeps silent).

Anyway, I doubt she'd do you :p
Errol
08/07/02 @ 16:41
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Or you.
Nemesis
08/07/02 @ 16:43
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OR anyone actually; she ain't married.

*cough*
Jesus: Action Figure
08/07/02 @ 16:49
#41
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Colour me lite blak - Is that you, Asam?
Edited 1 times, most recently on 08/07/02 @ 17:49
Errol
08/07/02 @ 16:55
#42
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Lets just forget everything else and focus on what matters - Britneys 'bangability'.
jaa
08/07/02 @ 17:01
#43
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OR anyone actually; she ain't married

I hear that in most of the cases, it's after you marry that you stop having sex.
Killerbee
08/07/02 @ 17:09
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I hear that in most of the cases, it's after you marry that you stop having sex.

Not true. Since getting wed, my right hand and I have never had such a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
Errol
08/07/02 @ 17:10
#45
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my right hand

You left handed ?
Nemesis
08/07/02 @ 17:18
#46
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Although they have discovered a food that puts women off of sex...
Killerbee
08/07/02 @ 17:18
#47
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You left handed ?

No - but if you put in enough practice with your *analogue stick*, you can work wonders. :-/
FeZZ
08/07/02 @ 18:56
#48
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I actually feel kinda sorry for britney.
Because in two years we'll have trouble remembering who she was.
I mean the poor girl is a product of a powerfull marketing machine.
She is obviously typecasted, I bet she doesn't write her songs, and she even doesn't know how to sing properly, the backing vocals almost sing louder as she does.
Thank god she didn't release any songs in the last months, and lets all hope it stays that way.
If you ask me, this game is one of the last contractions of a dying pop-queen.
And for you guys getting off at this game,try going on a date for a change...
Whizzo
08/07/02 @ 19:19
#49
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If you ask me, this game is one of the last contractions of a dying pop-queen.
Hardly, she obviously not everyone's taste (musically that is!) but she certainly isn't about to disappear anytime soon.

I just hope her role in the next season of Buffy is pretty minor...
BlankOBlank!
08/07/02 @ 19:23
#50
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"she certainly isn't about to disappear anytime soon"

Are we talking about the same amazingly fickle pop industry here? How many acts have endured who weren't around during the seventies and eighties?

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