Q*Bert Review

By Richard Leadbetter Published 14 April, 2007

Hop, skip and a jump.

Version tested: PlayStation 3

Having bought most of the games available for download on the PlayStation Store, I'm struck by the ambition Sony has shown, along with the strong sense of innovation, experimentation and value.

The quality level is somewhat variable, but you can't help but get the sense that many of PlayStation 3's downloadable offerings are doing their best to push boundaries and go the extra mile in their own way - just as Bizarre Creations' Geometry Wars did at the debut of the Xbox Live Marketplace. Unfortunately, Q*Bert is somewhat akin to the stagnant depths that Microsoft's games-on-demand content is capable of plunging to, only worse.

At its most basic level, Q*Bert is a direct translation of the quarter-century-old Gottlieb arcade machine, re-coded for PlayStation3, and given an extremely basic 1080p (!) high-definition facelift. The gameplay itself is identical to the original coin-op - you take control of the eponymous Q*Bert, your aim being to leap around the isometric-3D pyramid, changing the colour of each square until the entire structure is resplendent in its shiny new paintjob. Standing in your way are bouncing balls, creepy-crawlies and Q*Bert's arch-nemesis - Coily the Snake - who relentlessly pursues our long-snouted hero all the way to his ultimate destruction.

'Q*Bert' Screenshot 2

The more levels you complete, the harder the overall task gets. Green balls drop that re-colour tiles you've already visited, and the general population of death-bringing monsters gradually increases until all of Q*Bert's lives are drained away. Additionally, later levels require you to jump on tiles multiple times in order to get them to the correct colour.

Q*Bert's burden is only lightened by the inclusion of two helpful additions to the pseudo-3D arena. Discs on the side of the structure provide a lift to the top, and can also be used to bait Coily to leap off the side of the pyramid - a cunning trap that also wipes the level clean of any other bad guys that happen to be causing aggravation. The tile re-colouring green blobs can also be leapt upon to freeze the screen and give Q*Bert precious seconds in which to polish off a level.

'Q*Bert' Screenshot 1

So gameplay-wise everything is in place from the original arcade game, and this conversion is slavishly close in terms of audio too - the apparently random speech synthesis of the old coin-op is dutifully recreated to voice Coily and give power to Q*Bert's trademark intelligible exclamations of life-losing anguish. Unfortunately, aside from the pin-sharp 1080p graphics, nothing much else of note has been added. There's the obligatory online leaderboards, but that's literally it - unless you include what must be the most useless, comedic implementation of support for Sixaxis yet seen in any PS3 title. This token support for Sony's tilt-sensitive controller is so laughably imprecise and unusable that one wonders how it passed through Sony's QA procedures.

However, this game's biggest flaw is essentially the lack of core 'classic' quality in the original coin-op - that intangible 'something' in the gameplay that transcends the ages. Q*Bert may well be one of the most memorable videogames characters from the early '80s, but his on-screen doings are too simplistic and repetitive to make them worthwhile in 2007. More than that, the game is also hampered by an annoying control method - the isometric 3D perspective doesn't translate particularly well to the Sixaxis joypad, and often you'll find Q*Bert bouncing around in directions you don't want him to. Poor controls, lacklustre source material and almost non-existent extras all combine to make this one to avoid unless you have a particularly nostalgic longing for this particular slice of gaming antiquity.

3 / 10

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Picture of Richard.

About Richard Leadbetter

Rich has been a games journalist since the days of 16-bit and specialises in technical analysis. Commonly known around Eurogamer as the Blacksmith of the Future.

Read more articles from Richard by visiting the Richard Leadbetter archive page.

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Comments (49) Latest comment 5 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • DUFFKING #1 5 years ago

    I never understood the appeal of these games to be honest. I didn't see the point when it was on the PS1 and two more generations haven't exactly helped that.

  • morriss #2 5 years ago

    PSN ftw!

  • Gene #3 5 years ago

    why are they releasing games from C64 to ps3?

  • MadMirko #4 5 years ago

    Desperation?

    The C64 was very successful, maybe they hope it will rub off. ;)
    Edited by 1 at 14/04/07 @ 09:59

  • Beano #5 5 years ago

    Is this out yet?

  • Fixxxer #6 5 years ago

    Jump to navigation
    Eurogamer > PlayStation 3 > Q*Bert > Review

    There's something really wrong about that.

  • muftak #7 5 years ago

    "Desperation?

    The C64 was very successful, maybe they hope it will rub off. ;) "

    i dont know why you bother

    isnt your 360 working today?

  • wellzy4eva #8 5 years ago

    muftak/MadMirko, stop M$/Sony snipes, it's a crap game, it's always been a crap game, and XBL/Virtual Console/PS3's own (Forgotten name) will have lots of cheap crap games (See mobile phone games for inspiration)



  • johnDoe #9 5 years ago

    is this where dj q bert got his name from?

  • crazyhorse174 #10 5 years ago

    Is this really the kind of guff we want on our "Next-gen" consoles?

    Come one Sony, Microsoft and yes, Nintendo...concentrate on new titles instead of going for the quick buck rereleasing old shite that we can get for free on the Net anyway.

    Rant over.

  • woodnotes #11 5 years ago

    "is this where dj q bert got his name from?"

    Yes. Q Bert was big in the 80s on the old C64. I couldn't get past the third level though.

  • stoopidgreg #12 5 years ago

    they shouldn't have made it 1080p. they should have just done a straight port

  • millerlfc #13 5 years ago

    I used to have this game on my Atari 2600! It was the only one of my games that I didn't like. Avoid it, it was terrible back then.

  • chupachups #14 5 years ago

    The problem with porting coin-op arcade games onto home systems is that they were never designed for long or frequent playing sessions. All they were meant to do was provide a few minutes playing time for the average punter before they ran out of money and went to buy some chips.

    Some coin-ops like Pac-Man retain their playability on home systems, but most of them are rather feeble rubbish, and were feeble rubbish when they were released too.

  • NthSimulachum #15 5 years ago

    When MS spend tons of time in QA, ooh it's bad. When Sony rushes it through QA, it's bad...

    When Spartan makes posts, it's bad.

    What has happened to the world?

  • Xerx3s #16 5 years ago

    I still have this on the 2600. \0/

    /feels old

  • Pastici #17 5 years ago

    I don't know anyone who like Q*Bert =/.

  • Mr_Brown #18 5 years ago

    Would be nice to see more snes/mega drive retro games or even PS1/ Dreamcast or even Saturn games on these services rather than game so old, even some veteren gamers ave trouble remembering them...fact is, as good as pacman/space invaders were back in the day (and indeed this) they just don't translate well in this day and age. Time to move on please XBL Arcade/ PSN....

  • Xerx3s #19 5 years ago

    Castlevania? ;)

  • Waldo #20 5 years ago

    This was an okay arcade game 20+ years ago, but I certainly wouldn't pay money to play it again.

  • AOFanboi #21 5 years ago

    There are TONS of retro COLLECTIONS (as in: more than one game) to be had cheaply for the PS2 - some of them even work on the PS3. And each and every one of the games appearing on those compilations are more interesting than Q*Bert. There is a reason there is a Gottlieb retro collection - of their PINBALL machines. That was their speciality.

  • bonker #22 5 years ago

    The pattern of voting on this game frightens me.

    /runs away

  • Artemis_Matsas #23 5 years ago

    Complete waste of time imo.

    Actually the same goes for MKII that was just released on the US Playstation Store.

  • JediMasterMalik #24 5 years ago

    That has online multiplayer and is the best MK game.

  • Santino #25 5 years ago

    nothing good about being the best MK game Jedi, they are all cheap trash.

  • JediMasterMalik #26 5 years ago

    I never really liked MK anyway, but for those that do it's for them. :)

  • smelly #27 5 years ago

    £500 to play Q*bert...

    Bargain!

  • JediMasterMalik #28 5 years ago

    I think you need to do more number games on Brain Training, your adding skills suck.

  • Les #29 5 years ago

    The online console stores should focus more on new games instead of all these crap old games. I can understand that, from the perspective of a publisher, it's a great opportunity to earn some effortless money, but the platform holders should realise that there are very, very few games that can stand the test of time. In this regard, it's completely different from music, movies and books.

    "£500 to play Q*bert...

    Bargain!"

    I'd say 200 GBP to play 'Urban champion' isn't too good a deal either... What's even worse are stupid comments like those.
    Edited by 1 at 14/04/07 @ 19:33

  • smelly #30 5 years ago

    Actuallly thats a good point. How comes 360/ps3 retro titles get reviews but wii ones dont?

    Its not as if this has been modified from the original..

  • SeesThroughAll #31 5 years ago

    3/10

    Q*Bert

    NO WAY!

    Yes way. A 3/10 actually is generous.

  • Steroyd #32 5 years ago

    Wii games used to get mini reviews but I think EG got tired of being predictable and giving Nintendo made titles 5/4 stars and third party 1/2 star ratings. :)

    Hasn't Sony's PSN titles had a good mix of new and retro titles like for every Q'bert there's a Super rub a dub.

    And Calling all Cars is meant to come out soon to...

  • SeesThroughAll #33 5 years ago

    Hasn't Sony's PSN titles had a good mix of new and retro titles like for every Q'bert there's a Super rub a dub.

    I don't think there's enough good retro titles out to be able to judge yet, but the good-to-bad ratio is pretty decent so far, with choices for most publics. Tekken:DR is great value for money if you fancy fighting games, Rub a Dub is good fun for the whole family, and like you said, there's still C.A.C. coming out too.

    Of course, I would prefer Q*Bert does not become the norm.
    Edited by 1 at 14/04/07 @ 22:13

  • Arwin #34 5 years ago

    I guess Qberts only virtue is showing that we really shouldn't get Arcade stuff like this ... think of all the energy you waste with your PS3 while playing this.

    Tekken DR, Super Rub-a-Dub, Blast Factor, heck even Go! Sudoku (released here just this weekend) and the Lemmings remake are games that at least in some way remind me I'm playing a game on a modern machine ... ;)

    Early PSX and older stuff, without any improvements, graphical or otherwise, only just barely belong on the PSP. The PS3 already plays all PS2 (well, nearly) and PSX games, and you hardly need anything older than that.

    Unless maybe Populous 2, or Gods, or Xenon 2 The Megablast ...

    ... nah, even those are fine on the PSP.

    (But a Populous 2 remake would be nice, please, thank you)

  • Daikon #35 5 years ago

    alt.q*bert.die.die.die

  • smelly #36 5 years ago

    £500 to play Q*bert...

    Bargain!

    Q*bert doesn't cost £75 moron.



    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh!

    Spot the person who's just wasted a small fortune on a pile of wank.

  • AOFanboi #37 5 years ago

    <em>Spot the person who's just wasted a small fortune on a pile of wank.</em>

    Was that a lame attempt at dodging criticism of your terrible math skills?

    Your £500 figure - £425 (cost of PS3) = £75, and that is not the price of Q*Bert on the online store.

  • Ryze #38 5 years ago

    Why did they bother. I've got this on my mobile and it's wank on there too.

    Wake up Sony.

  • smelly #39 5 years ago

    >and that is not the price of Q*Bert on the online store.


    Hey, if you want to play 500 quid for a crap game which was crap the first time around, then dont bring me into it..

  • JediMasterMalik #40 5 years ago

    How do you play 500 quid?

  • Steroyd #41 5 years ago

    I think Smelly is so enraged with Sony right now that he can't count anymore. o_O

  • JediMasterMalik #42 5 years ago

    Nah, more infatuation with Nintendo.

  • smelly #43 5 years ago

    Infatuation? Only when people talk crap about them on forums. Until paper mario came out, i'd been playing more on the 360.

    Still i can understand why you're upset, if i'd paid 500 quid to play Q*bert, i'd be a bit arsed off too.

  • JediMasterMalik #44 5 years ago

    ...and the assault on mathematics continues!

  • lasermink #45 5 years ago

    Q*Bert is a lovely game. Always was, always will be.

    I can understand why it doesn't appeal to kids who just spend a small fortune on PS3s for the newest, coolest game experiences, though.

  • smelly #46 5 years ago

    @lasermink - i'll fix that for you:

    I can understand why it doesn't appeal to kids who just spend a £500 on PS3s for the newest, coolest fps/racing games, though.

  • SeesThroughAll #47 5 years ago

    smelly, lately your trolling has become unbearable. You used to be reasonable.

  • Nova5lag #48 5 years ago

    I am the architect but you can call me Larry. I designed the Matrix and a number of classic video games like Q*bert and DigDug... I didnt do Frogger but I came up with the name for it. They wanted to call it Highway crossing frog! Its the lamest thing Id ever heard!

  • tapaul #49 5 years ago

    qbert?
    more like poobert.

    what a pile of crap !
    this thing was crap in low def 20 years ago .Now it is highly crap in HD.

    This is with out any doubt the worst retro game, ever.Ive nothing against retro gaming, and paying for it , but this is just garbage.

    Sony are not doing anyone a favour dishing up this kind of drivel on a next gen console.They should offer an instant refund for idiots like me that purchased this crap in good faith.(simply cos there is sod all else to buy in the german shop)

    I wont be buying anything else from them without a demo from now on.

    Edited by 1 at 23/05/07 @ 14:36