PixelJunk Eden Review

By Ellie Gibson Published 7 August, 2008

Tempting.

Version tested: PlayStation 3

I hate PixelJunk Eden. It's confusing and frustrating and pretentious and overpriced and dull. I also hate it because I should have started this review two hours ago and I haven't been able to put the Sixaxis down. And now I'm going to be late to meet my Mum. "Why are you late?" my Mum will say. "Because I have been playing a videogame I hate," I will reply. "And yet I find myself compelled to keep playing, like a rat in a laboratory who continues to step on the switch even though 99 times out of a hundred it receives an electric shock instead of a peanut."

"You work too hard," my Mum will say, and secretly wish I'd become a doctor.

I hate PixelJunk Eden. And I can't leave it alone. Let's look at the evidence.

1. CONFUSING

PixelJunk Eden is confusing from the off, thanks to on-screen instructions which are mainly gibberish. But the same could be said of many games; it's only later that PixelJunk Eden takes confusing to an entirely new level.

You play as a small creature called a Grimp (from "grip" and "jump", according to the press release) and you're tasked with exploring a series of stylised gardens. They're populated with trailing fluoresecent plants the Grimp can cling to. He can also attach a silk thread to the plants and use it to swing through their branches.

The goal is to find objects called Spectra hidden in each garden. To reach them, you must pollinate plants so they will sprout new tendrils and branches, creating new pathways. This is done by bursting the orbs of pollen that float around using your body or silk thread. All the while a time gauge ticks away at the bottom of the screen. You can pop special orbs to refill it, but if the gauge empties the game is over. (The trailer might make things a bit clearer.)

The controls are simple - use the left stick to determine the direction in which you jump and swing, and press X to jump and cut your silk thread. You can't control the power of your jumps, and have minimal control over your character when it's in mid-air. The skill comes in working out when to jump from branch to branch, and when to swing straight through them.

'PixelJunk Eden' Screenshot 1

This is the first level of the game. I never want to see it again.

That's not what's confusing. What's confusing is the game's wild and carefree disdain for consistency, and the way it throws its head back and laughs in the face of the laws of physics. Many jumps are hard to judge, because the game seems to decide whether your character will make them based on how it's feeling at precisely that moment in time. A plant that looks impossibly far away might be easily reachable, and vice versa. So you're left confused about what your character's capable of, which routes through the level are feasible and why these two aspects appear to change on a moment-to-moment basis.

2. FRUSTRATING

Which, obviously, is frustrating. However, PixelJunk Eden takes frustrating to an entirely new level.

The Spectra are usually hidden towards the top of the garden, so to reach them you have to follow an upwards path as you jump between plants. It's easy to miss jumps, for the reasons explained above. Unless you've managed to pollinate every seed in sight (all the while racing against the clock and coping with fictional physics, don't forget), there won't be many plants below to catch you when you fall.

So you're left watching helplessly as your Grimp tumbles through space and lands right back at the bottom of the garden. The frustration is compounded by the fact you know you're going to have to navigate all those plants once again; you'll have to repeat all those stupid jumps without any real confidence they're going to work. Meanwhile, the pollen will be ebbing away from any seeds you managed to pollinate but not sprout, so you'll also have to do all that again. This sort of thing happens too often, pushing PixelJunk Eden across the line between challenging and frustrating.

You could argue I'm just rubbish at the game. True, Eurogamer MMO's Oli Welsh completed the first level in two attempts, while it took me nine. But he gave up on the second level after a few attempts and a lot of swearing. (He claims this isn't because he's rubbish at the game, but because he was "bored and wanting to go back to work". Make of that what you will.)

3. PRETENTIOUS

For starters there is the capital letter in the middle of "PixelJunk". Yes I know this is characteristic of products associated with the "PlayStation" "brand", but it's still "stupid". Then there is the music. It's all "ambient beats", as I believe they are called, by people who can't tell the difference between "relaxing" and "boring". The visuals put me in mind of LocoRoco as "reimagined" by an advertising agency. One of those ones with a name like "Pants" or "Sandwich" or "Twat".

'PixelJunk Eden' Screenshot 2

It's a bit like being a tiny Spider-Man in a giant garden. With rubbish physics.

As further evidence for the prosecution, I refer you to Gamasutra and the speech made by Q Games co-founder Dylan Cuthbert at this year's Independent Games Summit. In it he referred to "seizing back control from the bland merchants". He also described his own game as being "kind of like an organic Mario", which is akin to Ronald McDonald describing Big Macs as "kind of like reduxed filet mignon".

(Observe also the prevalence of quote marks in this article, and the use of italics, and of words like "prevalence". That is how pretentious PixelJunk Eden is; it is so pretentious it is making me pretentious. Even more pretentious than I already am.)

4. OVERPRICED

This one is perhaps unfair. PixelJunk Eden costs GBP 4.99. That is not much money to pay for a game that's swallowed up the best part of my day. However, I have spent most of that time performing the same jumps over and over and over and over again, watching my character tumble through space, and swearing. GBP 4.99 feels like a high price to pay for this experience. Even though it isn't.

5. DULL

'PixelJunk Eden' Screenshot 3

You can make videos of yourself playing and put them on the net. No one knows why you would want to do this.

See points 1, 2, 3 and 4.

SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?

Because it's good. It's certainly no Mario, organic or otherwise. I stand by my assertions that inconsistent physics and poor level design make for a game which is frustrating. And having to start all over again, all of the time, is boring.

But PixelJunk Eden still manages to be addictive. The more you experience and experiment with the control system, the more you realise how innovative it is. You feel as though you're learning to master something, and you want to keep getting better. As you improve, the stupid physics become easier to cope with, too.

And, for all its pretensions, there is something quite beautiful about PixelJunk Eden. It's just about worth all the confusion, frustration, pretentiousness and frequent tedium. It's worth GBP 4.99. But probably not being late to meet your Mum.

7 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Ellie.

About Ellie Gibson

Since joining Eurogamer in the mid 2000s, Ellie has written about subjects as diverse as the fall of Gizmondo, the rise of Hollyoaks actresses in Red Alert games and the noise a bear makes under NSFW circumstances.

Read more articles from Ellie by visiting the Ellie Gibson archive page.

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Comments (224) Latest comment 4 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • muscleblade #1 4 years ago

    Not even close to as good as Braid then.

  • Eighthours #2 4 years ago

    I really love Ellie's reviews. They're great.

  • JonFE #3 4 years ago

    Congratulations Ellie, looks like you have been promoted :)

    /grabs pop-corn...

  • actionfitz #4 4 years ago

    Ouch.

  • the_dudefather #5 4 years ago

    'PRETENTIOUS'

    Was this yesterday's review of Briad then? ;)
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 13:57

  • Spazzfish #6 4 years ago

    I could only understand the reviewers frustration if he had no arms and feet and had to play the game with his face. Other then that the review is dribble.
    How can the game possibly be confusing? You press one button. It's such a simple concept for a game a trained chimp could play it.
    Anyway stupid review aside this game is great and well worth the paltry 5 quid.
    The game should be applauded and given a straight 8/10 just on the grounds there is no guns, you can't shoot and tries to do something different. Even though it deserves that and more on the basis that it's actually a damn cool game. The music is great too:)

  • charliemouse #7 4 years ago

    Oh Ellie, it really does sound like you're just a bit rubbish at this game.

  • drumbaby #8 4 years ago

    FFS, Eurogamer's reviews get more and more wanky by the week. :/

  • chudders #9 4 years ago

    Nice review, like the style.

  • Eighthours #10 4 years ago

    FFS, Eurogamer's reviews get more and more wanky by the week. :/

    I know, it's really terrible to have stuff that's actually entertaining to read rather than extremely dry, factsheet-cribbing prose. IGN and TeamXbox vs Eurogamer is like night and day, it really is.

  • Steroyd #11 4 years ago

    A WHOLE WEEK this has been out, I know EG likes being late to the party but a whole week!?

  • belziah #12 4 years ago

    Ellie shit at games not featuring elves shocker!

  • ps3owner #13 4 years ago

    is this a good score then?! + I keep reading gimp... hmpf

  • Ornithophobe #14 4 years ago

    Excellent review, I hate the demo but keep playing it, the little swines antics make me grip my dualshock 3 dangerously tightly and want to scream but I keep going back.

  • mingster #15 4 years ago

    Sounds like Bugaboo-the-Flea but not as good.

  • Darkedge #16 4 years ago

    Uhoh, Ellie's just shaken the moron tr33 and look whats dropped out.

  • baardhimself #17 4 years ago

    congrats on this awfully written review Ellie.

  • groovychainsaw #18 4 years ago

    I don't get why people come to eurogamer and find the reviews strange -they've always been like that - these sort of reviews are why i return time and time again. Plus it clearly explained that this game has 'not for me!' written on it in big letters (i get bored too easily) so i think it's a great review. Go back to the hack websites if you can't keep up with the writing quality here.

  • RoddyCool #19 4 years ago

    so bitter.....

  • ps3owner #20 4 years ago

    just watched the trailer. looks like an interactive screensaver to me! but it's in 1080p! surely, it's the AWESOME power of the cell at work here... I knew it was unbeatable :)

  • sickpuppysoftware #21 4 years ago

    The jumps might not be easy to judge but they are consistently the same distance and I've never seen the pollen ebbing away from any seeds I've managed to pollinate but not sprout?

    Is there a different game Ellie is playing?

  • Chaote-Imagicka #22 4 years ago

    It's funny but having played both Braid and Eden I feel this review belongs far more to Braid than Eden. I find the physics in Eden almost spot on. Any time I miss a jump or landing (which is still fairly frequently tbqh) I always know why, because I failed to time it correctly, or I failed to spin or cut the cord at the correct time which is why I go back. If I ever thought I was just getting screwed over by clumsy physics I'd have stopped playing ages ago.

  • betahoven #23 4 years ago

    Post deleted at 09:36:16 17-12-2011

  • BOBBYLUPO #24 4 years ago

    So it's expensive because you can't get off the first level? Not sure that makes sense, maybe you should play it a bit more?

    Anyway, not a great review but the game itself is completely addictive. Reminds me a bit of LocoRoco crossed with something else. LocoRoco Street or summat.



  • gareth886 #25 4 years ago

    I have to agree with Arbiter on this one. The review has missed out on so many of the things that make this game great.

  • Kenshin001 #26 4 years ago

    What a completely fucking awful embarrassing review. The mastubatory gushing over an "emotional" 2D scroller was bad enough the other day and now this which reads like a 15 year old's high school essay. It's like the tag team of gaming journalism wankery.

  • DanWhitehead #27 4 years ago

    Please bear in mind that Ellie has met Mark Hamill.

  • mcbi4kh2 #28 4 years ago

    What a piss poor review.
    "Im no good at the game, so its Dull, Overpriced,..."

    If you spent all day doing level 1 then perhaps you are in the wrong job?

    Stick to the wii Ellie. Leave the proper consoles for the men :)

  • hulahoops #29 4 years ago

    "What a piss poor review.
    "Im no good at the game, so its Dull, Overpriced,..."

    If you spent all day doing level 1 then perhaps you are in the wrong job?

    Stick to the wii Ellie. Leave the proper consoles for the men :)"

    Casual misogyny for the win!

  • peterfll #30 4 years ago

    I downloaded the demo* just last night. And had exactly the same experience with it as our dear Ellie. I hated it, but then realised I had been at it for over an hour.

    * from the US store - don't think the demos up on the Euro?

  • Psiloc #31 4 years ago

    Ellie gets way too much stick in her comments sections. This review is awesome. So what if EG and Ellie have an offbeat writing style? For people like me that's the whole point of reading this site's articles compared to the million alternatives. So FOAD.

    She's also spot on about the physics if the demo is anything to go by. 7/10 seems pretty generous to me, but then I suppose I didn't play long enough for the addiction to bite.

  • BOBBYLUPO #32 4 years ago

    Seemed like well-balanced misogyny to me.

  • mazk #33 4 years ago

    Love the funny review Ellie, however you seem to have got PixelJunk all wrong.

    This repetition is what PixelJunk is trying to get back to. Classic gaming styles re-done with better graphics. Perfecting your jumps and swings are what this is all about.

    Racers and Monsters are both competent as well. But this game is boss I thought. The physics (which is the basis of the whole game) are flawless in my non-paid-for opinion and It's slightly churlish to berate the excellent ambient soundtrack just cos you hate ambient music.

    At 4.99 you cant bash the price either. At least the score seems about right, i would have given it an 8.

    P.s. what level did you get up to before you reviewed it? The last few levels are the best in the game.

  • myiagros #34 4 years ago

    This game is wonderful and the review is a traversty.

    The only thing i got from the review is that the reviewer is bad at the game.

    The game is far from perfect, i find the music to be awful and the forced logevity, due having to replay through the levels multiple time, only being alowed to collect one more spera each time, is annoying.

    However the concept and execution is wonderfuly simple and the levels imaculately designed. It is a gorgeous game to look at and delightful to play.

    Yes its annoying when you fall down, but i have never felt it was the games fault, purely my mis-judgement or mis-timing, just how a game should be.

    An excellent game seriously let down by a terrible review. I coudn't care less about what score it got, but the content and scope of the review was severly lacking.

    Shame on you EG!!

    i too whould be interested to know how mach of the game the reviewer actually played. From the review it sould like relatively little.
    I would like EG to follow the lead of Kotaku and provide the following information:

    When reviewing a game, our goal is to at least complete a game's single-player mode, whether that's a story-driven campaign or a season in Madden or a series of license tests in Gran Turismo. However, in some cases beating a game is simply not possible, as is the case with open ended, massively multiplayer online RPGs. If we don't "finish" the game or access a particular multiplayer mode, we'll tell you. We'll also divulge how much of the game's multiplayer and bonus modes we played, if applicable and we'll tell you which system(s) we played it on.
    Edited by 2 at 07/08/08 @ 14:51

  • Turambar #35 4 years ago

    I have no problem with this review. Reviews represent the reviewers opinion, Ellie's opinion is as valid as anyone else's. Moreover I think it's possible for everyone else to state their own opinion of the game without resorting to insults.

  • Octoroc #36 4 years ago

    I really like PixelJunk Eden, but sometimes it is very hard.

    8/10

  • ccfb #37 4 years ago

    "heartily sick of videogame reviewers indulging their frustrated poetic tendencies"

  • peterfll #38 4 years ago

    I like EG's semi-irreverant style. It's why I read this site and avoid the IGN's of the world.

  • Rash' #39 4 years ago

    "* from the US store - don't think the demos up on the Euro?"

    And like your dear Ellie's review, you sound like you know what you're talk about, but in fact don't. The demo's been up since last week on Euro PSN.

    Shockingly inarticulate review. I don't mind the score if it was backed up by some informed design critique, but frankly it reads like the rant of a crap gamer.

    Note to Ellie, when in the air try using the left and right directions with momentum to get to where you want to get and maybe you'll do a better job of informing us of whether a game is good or bad (albeit in your opinion).
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 14:54

  • Cappy #40 4 years ago

    PixelJunk Eden turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable experience for me. It's like a game from a parallel reality where a bunch of Spectrum programmers in 1984 have suddenly been given a PS3.

    Another EG PS3 review to go alongside the likes of the overwhelmingly bitter Metal Gear Solid 4 review and the utter travesty of the Folklore review.

  • bad09 #41 4 years ago

    Well having played the demo I think Ellie is spot on. Personally I don't see why so many are swooning over it TBH........

  • Gnort #42 4 years ago

    Ellie's great for comedy value but pretty poor for actually reviewing games, I'm afraid.

  • pommak #43 4 years ago

    7 out of 10! You can't be serious? This game is marvelous and one of the most enjoyable downloadable game for a long time.

    I'm really starting to think MS is funding Eurogamer. What a shame.

  • myiagros #44 4 years ago

    The journalistic quality of EG has gone down the toilet in recent months, what with reviews like this and single stories being split into multiple intentionaly ambiguoulsy headlined news items.

    If it wern't for the community, and the fact the EG is the only "major" europe-centric games site, i would have abandoned EG for elsewhere long ago.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 14:57

  • seasidebaz #45 4 years ago

    I agree with this review. The game's awful. But you can't stop playing. And it certainly is pretentious, what with its "minimalism" and "retro" and other such nonsense.

    And grimp? Not a combo of grip and jump, more like a combo of Gimp and R! Which is what I was shouting at the telly too much.

    Plus, don't forget the actual plant growing algorithm was initially written by a WORK EXPERIENCE GUY. Then PixelJunk couldn't think of a game to go round it, so bolted something on.

    7/10 is a perfect score. It's a good game, it will get a lot of play from me, but it's like saying that torture is infinitely more fun than decapitation. So, a 1/10 for the game, 6/10 for adding trophies :)
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 14:59

  • Widge #46 4 years ago

    Did anyone think this was going to go beyond a 7 or an 8?! And has anyone complaining at the score actually read the conclusion to it all:

    "SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good. It's certainly no Mario, organic or otherwise. I stand by my assertions that inconsistent physics and poor level design make for a game which is frustrating. And having to start all over again, all of the time, is boring.

    But PixelJunk Eden still manages to be addictive. The more you experience and experiment with the control system, the more you realise how innovative it is. You feel as though you're learning to master something, and you want to keep getting better. As you improve, the stupid physics become easier to cope with, too.

    And, for all its pretensions, there is something quite beautiful about PixelJunk Eden. It's just about worth all the confusion, frustration, pretentiousness and frequent tedium. It's worth GBP 4.99. But probably not being late to meet your Mum."

    If you like the game (like I do) then woohoo for you etc.

  • Widge #47 4 years ago

    oh and I love the soundtrack personally, but then again I'm into deep house, minimal and all of that shnizz.
    I mean I would have ripped my ears off if it had been set to a T4-esque selection of generic COOL BANDS of the moment.

  • bad09 #48 4 years ago

    "I'm really starting to think MS is funding Eurogamer. What a shame."

    \o/ the MS money accusations are starting! Gotta love PS3 reviews :)


    / lights fuse

    Remember Xbox Live Braid got 10/10 yesterday guys.....

    / runs for cover

  • mcbi4kh2 #49 4 years ago

    @BlankOBlank!

    Saying I hate women becasue I disagree with a review is a bit much eh?

  • SeesThroughAll #50 4 years ago

    SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good.

    SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good.

    SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good.

    SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good.

    SO WHY CAN'T I LEAVE IT ALONE?
    Because it's good.

    FUCKING READ THE TEXT BEFORE SHOUTING BIAS!

  • Carlo #51 4 years ago

    "That is not much money to pay for a game that's swallowed up the best part of my day."

    Hang on... Your review is based on ONE DAY'S PLAY?

  • Dizzy #52 4 years ago

    >Sounds like Bugaboo-the-Flea but not as good.

    I loved bugaboo!

    Damn Pterodacylus!

  • Salvia #53 4 years ago

    I'd give Eden 9 personally. It's a well-balanced and simple game that can grip you for hours. I've been playing this on 3 player and we've all been enjoying it immensely. And for 5 quid you can't go wrong.

  • pommak #54 4 years ago

    bad09, exactly. Seems you got the point ;)

    But seriously. For me, this game is not hard nor frustrating. I truly enjoy the unique visuals and sweet techno music. It's hard to play this game for 8 hours straight, but every couple hours you can spend twenty minutes to clear one level and after that you feel more relaxed than before you started to play.

    I've completed about 40% of this game and haven't died once. And I don't think myself as a good gamer so I really don't understand how one (especially a game reviewer) can fail 9 times in first level.

    IMHO, especially considering the price point, this game should get 9/10.

  • mcbi4kh2 #55 4 years ago

    @Rufus

    Have you ever heard of the word hypocrisy?

    You say you can't stand the way people respond on here (toughen up mate) and then you go on to direct a personal insult at me for making a sexist remark? hmm.

    Wasnt trying to defend it, it was a smug smile. Like this one :)

    And Im right, if you have played this game for a whole day and cant beat level 1, then its time to move on Im afraid.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:10

  • mazk #56 4 years ago

    @mcbi4kh2

    "Stick to the wii Ellie. Leave the proper consoles for the men :) "

    You sir, are a cnut.

  • mcbi4kh2 #57 4 years ago

    Whats a cnut?

  • Dizzy #58 4 years ago

    >You sir, are a cnut.

    No but he has been on ingore for quite some time ;)
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:14

  • Widge #59 4 years ago

    Place it up against other £5 PSN games, is it as good as Super Stardust HD? I would say not. But it is good.

    My first "death" was on Garden 3, but thats because I was faffing around trying to go for 100000 pollens. All seeds and spectras in the previous gardens too without much of an effort. Plus I do feel there is a bit of skill, learning to get the feel of trapezing around everywhere.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:16

  • hulahoops #60 4 years ago

    @mcbi4kh2

    "Saying I hate women becasue I disagree with a review is a bit much eh?"

    It's not the fact that you disagree with the review, my issue is with the fact that you casually mention that she should stick to the Wii and that she should leave proper consoles for the men. The whole post could easily be taken as meaning that because she's female she should look for another job.

    I know it was a joke, sir, but I suspect being a female it must be pretty irritating to have people point out that you're a femalelol and therefore shouldn't be in the industry.

    So yeah, I know you probably don't think that at all, but it may be a little too close to the bone for some. Not ever having been a woman I can't say for sure, of course.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:15

  • mcbi4kh2 #61 4 years ago

    Dizzy only ignored me becasue I said he was too old to be wasting his time on game forums (he's nearly 50). Get a life Dizzy.

    Sexism, check.
    Ageism, check.
    Racism, to follow :)

  • mingster #62 4 years ago

    hehe .. It took me ages before i could sproing my flea out of the top of the cave in bugaboo-the-flea.
    But when i finally managed it i was over the moon.
    A game was just a game back then and even though it was odd/different and not based on anything else they weren't called 'experimental' or 'different' just because they weren't FPS or driving games. (Not that there where any FPS back then either)
    In the 8bit days all games were 'experimental'.
    There is a lack of creativity these days with games and any that are slightly different get tagged as 'alternative' not mainstream and written off. I think this is bad and why gaming is going downhill.

  • Tyedyed #63 4 years ago

    What an awful review, and factually incorrect about the jumping physics too.

  • mcbi4kh2 #64 4 years ago

    @BlankOBlank!

    For the third time, if she takes all day to do Level 1 then she definetely, definetely should move on! I cant believe no one agrees with me!

  • spammage #65 4 years ago

    The demo left me with a huge "meh" factor and many of Ellie's observations I agree with. I just didn't feel any love toward the game whatsoever.

    Reviews are subjective at best. All these hangups about attributing a numerical score to something so esoteric is getting boring. It is nice to read something entertaining, rather than the usual "zomg framerates issues, blah statistics"

    Ellie and Dan Whitehead should be saluted and revered. Good on you I say.

  • CunningLinguist #66 4 years ago

    I'm not going to bash your rant of a review, but how can you omit the enemies in the later gardens? You know, the ones you have to spin through in order to defeat them. Or the swinging plants that help you swing even higher and faster if you time it right. Or the flowers that have to be hit in order to convert them to pollen, instead of just getting them with your silk. Nor do you mention the rock climbing elements, and that you can control your grimp while you're airborne. Or even the bonus time you get if you sprout two plants or more in a row. Did you even finish the game? This are things which have to be in a review in addition to your personal thoughts. You just tell us about being late to meet your mom. Well I'm sorry but that is of very little interest to someone who is thinking of purchasing the game. Yes the game is hard, but its gameplay is not monotonous nor is it linear. I for one had to change the way I approach a garden in a very significant way from the 1st to the 5th.

    I used to write for a gaming website myself so I know it's hard sometimes to play a game you don't like just because it's an assignment, but your writeup is utterly sloppy and betrays the fact that you probably think of this job as something to do between meeting your mom, taking pictures at comic conventions and having a pint at the pub. Don't forget that you're writing this for the people who pay your salary. Shape up, or get out!

  • hulahoops #67 4 years ago

    @mcbi4kh2

    I understand that, sah, I'm just saying that holistically your post could be taken as saying that she's in the wrong industry because she's female. Not because she couldn't get past level 1.

  • bad09 #68 4 years ago

    @ pommak

    I see were you (and everyone else) is coming from, but you guys really need to understand (how many times must I post this!) that because a reviewer feels differently about a game doesn't make them wrong, useless or anything, just like if they agree with you doesn't make them right. IT OPINION!!!!!

    For YOU this game is not hard nor frustrating but only after some play time even I can see that for many it would be. Not every one is into techno so the music could grate etc etc. Reviews are for EVERYONE not just you (or anyone else)

    You disagree with the review I don't, who is wrong (the correct answer is no one).

    I disagreed with Braid getting 10/10 I made a comment on not agreeing and that was it.
    I disagreed with SMG getting 10/10 I made a comment on not agreeing and that was it.
    I disagreed with AC getting 6/10 I made a comment on not agreeing and that was it.

    See a pattern? Just comment saying you though it was good or whatever (that's what the comments are for) or if you feel that strongly write your own review and post it.

    There is no need to insult reviewers or claiming bungs just because your own views are not validated on a review.

  • peterfll #69 4 years ago

    @rash'

    Calm down love - go and make a cup of tea or something.

    I probably couldn't find the demo on the Euro PSN store (and could on the US) because the navigation on the Euro site is so shte.

  • mingster #70 4 years ago

    Be glad you get to comment on reviews..
    I don't think you can on IGN.

  • seasidebaz #71 4 years ago

    To all those who don't find this a challenge: Well done. I slowly applaud.

    To everyone else... Well done for not lying about it :)

    The physics are way off sometimes, and spinning also affects jump distance, the silk sometimes slows you down, and I've found on more than one occasion the controls give up. Winding in the silk? Sometimes works, usually doesn't. And it's not the pad cos all the shoulder buttons work fine everywhere else...

    And which direction are you meant to move the pad to drop quickly? That, too, sometimes works, but usually not. The amount of times I've overshot a plant cos I moved the pad in slightly the wrong direction is too many to count... And while I may have got the first thingummy on my first go, the game does indeed seem to change the rules based on what it feels like doing.

  • mcbi4kh2 #72 4 years ago

    @BlankOBlank!
    I dont know what holistically means so we call it a truce then eh?

  • Shadman #73 4 years ago

    Oh noes, people have a different opinion to the reviewer, so this site must be awful!!!!1!111!

    I thought it was a great review, certainly made me smile which, while at work, doesn't happen that often at the moment. Can't comment on the game itself since I don't have a PS3, but just because you don't agree with the reviewer doesn't give you the right to get all offensive.

  • hulahoops #74 4 years ago

    @mcbi4kh2

    Hehe! You're on. :)

  • pommak #75 4 years ago

    @bad09

    I got your point, and I apologize for overreacting.

    Still, I feel this review tells almost nothing about the game and no one can get a picture what this game is really about and how it plays.

  • mingster #76 4 years ago

    Its a bugaboo clone..

  • bad09 #77 4 years ago

    @ pommak

    I do agree with you (and Arbiter) on that point actually (not just aimed at Ellie though), a lot reviews on EG tend to talk more of emotions and feeling rather than functionality and features. For an example, the massive fact that Braid is incredibly short was missing from the glowing review, indeed only after being questioned did Dan come on and say it was quite possible (if you were good enough) to beat the game in a hour!
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:33

  • mingster #78 4 years ago

    And clearly isn't as good as http://www .youtube.com/watch?v=JLvjJ8k6lkk

    and to prove my comparison is correct here is one of the comments on this video from 3 days ago

    johnpeelslovechild (3 days ago)
    What level of pixeljunk Eden is this again?
    I completed this one Sunday afternoon, about 20+ years ago.
    When you get to the top, there's a nice bug eating dragon waiting to ruin your day.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:35

  • Widge #79 4 years ago

    The IGN comment threads are horrific.

  • Widge #80 4 years ago

    I wonder if Dan has had a blast at this at all?

  • mikeck #81 4 years ago

    "I probably couldn't find the demo on the Euro PSN store (and could on the US) because the navigation on the Euro site is so shte. "

    It is after all SO difficult to look in the Latest section :p
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:40

  • bad09 #82 4 years ago

    @ Widge

    I think he is probably too emotional and still weeping over Braid :)

  • MrCrun #83 4 years ago

    mcbi4kh2, just so you know, no-one here is saying you an idiot for saying ellie should move on. You're an idiot for saying WOMEN should move on. Also old people. So it's only young males who should be playing games? Are you scared wider society might stop calling you nerd in the future?
    What possible reason is there for excluding minimum 80% of the population from games. Oh, I know, you actually WANT to keep this hobby niche. You ARE an idiot. A bigoted idiot. Your posts deserve to be jumped on.

    On topic this review for me is spot on. If they removed the timer that would solve most of my problems with frustration though.

  • Moonprince #84 4 years ago

    On topic this review for me is spot on. If they removed the timer that would solve most of my problems with frustration though.

    In your own words: "You ARE an idiot"

    Reviews fking awful - try playing the game :/
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:44

  • Chaote-Imagicka #85 4 years ago

    @Cunninglinguist

    From the review it doesn't look like the reviewer got even as far as basic rock climbing let alone any of the features of the later levels.

    Also the people pointing out that it's just opinion most of that is true. However she also states the game's physics are wonky and while that is partially subjective it's presented as an objective fact and will be seen as such by many. Which isn't true, she just can't play properly and prefers to state that the game isn't properly playable.

  • MrCrun #86 4 years ago

    @moonprince: What the hell did I do to you? Apart from be frustrated and annoyed at a game I can't put down? GO BACK AND READ THE LAST PARAGRAPH

    edit: added @ line
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:47

  • Moonprince #87 4 years ago

    You did nothing to me :)

    argh never mind... forget it.

    Review is still shite - girl should get the boot or put back on wii games whatever
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 15:50

  • CannonAnBall #88 4 years ago

    loving this game, mainly as a distraction from other games I'm playing at the moment.

    The reviewer must be shit at this game though.

  • mcbi4kh2 #89 4 years ago

    @MCrun (edit)
    So it's only young males who should be playing games?
    Yes.

    Are you scared wider society might stop calling you nerd in the future?
    No, I wish they would stop.

    You ARE an idiot.
    Yes.

    What people like you seem to forget MrCRun is that this is a games forum. A...games....forum. Stop taking it all so seriously, at 4:30 I will leave my desk and it wont cross my mind again unti Tuesday (I'm on holiday this weekend). I do this merely to amuse myself. And thanks to overly sensitive left wing tree huggers such as yourself, it works. Keep em coming :)

    edit: my spelling is awful
    Edited by 2 at 07/08/08 @ 15:53

  • Razz #90 4 years ago

    7/10 Whyyyyyyyyy? ;_;

    I LOVE this game. 10/10

  • Ignatius_Cheese #91 4 years ago

    I, too, have fallen in love with this little game. Especially the "swingy swingy" mechanic mixed with missing a cloud of pollen by a fraction of a millimetre.

    Old school gaming joy! :o)

  • nick_f Verified Senior Producer, Microsoft #92 4 years ago

    I really like this game, I think it's good fun between meaty slices of Braid and Geo Wars 2.

    I would give it.... *drumroll* 7/10

    I haven't played a disc-based game for 2 weeks.

  • MrCrun #93 4 years ago

    Okay then. Why is it retarded? I said it was true FOR ME. Hell of a qualifier that. It make my statement wholly subjective and therefore any critisism of it also wholly subjective. Calling me an idiot is harsh and not true. I allow everyone to have an opinion (bigotry not withstanding) but seriously lay off the personal attacks just 'cause I have an opinion.
    And no this is not hypocritical calling someone on blatent bigotry is another ball game. Not to mention he wasn't being subjective.

  • mikeck #94 4 years ago

    "7/10 Whyyyyyyyyy? ;_; "

    Ellie hates you Razz - it's the truth ;)

  • mcbi4kh2 #95 4 years ago

    @MrCrun
    I allow everyone to have an opinion (bigotry not withstanding)

    Is it just me or is that a paradoxical statement?

    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:04

  • bad09 #96 4 years ago

    I think Ellie should be punished for upsetting the PS3 boys, how about uploading the Games Night (RIP) Rock Band footage EG?

    Come Ellie smile for the camera! ;)
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:08

  • Weezer #97 4 years ago

    Well if Ellie's entertaining review was specifically designed to elicit page hits, job done!

    /click

    EDIT: Removed 'fanboy' phrase on Arbiter's advice.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 17:12

  • darc #98 4 years ago

    ...advertising agency. One of those ones with a name like "Pants" or "Sandwich" or "Twat".'

    LOL! How can so many people complain about a review that features a line like that one? :)

  • ElNino9 #99 4 years ago

    7/10 is extremly harsh. Yeah, it's frustrating, but it has that something about it which makes it a 9 for me.

  • mcbi4kh2 #100 4 years ago

    @darc
    Because its immature, irelevant and unprofessional.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:23

  • David_W #101 4 years ago

    The author of a text as awkward as that Eden review, clearly has lost all rights to ever again call anything or anyone pretentious.

    I really enjoy Eden. Haven't given it that much time yet, cleared the first garden and poked around a bit in the others. I find the controls easy enough but my girlfriend won't touch it because she finds it too difficult to control. So although I don't agree with the reviewer about the controls, I can see where she comes from.

    I really didn't find this review helpful, informative or even honest. And please tell of you were being ironic while flinging "pretentious" around.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:29

  • Moonprince #102 4 years ago

    darc - You're missing the point though. Her comments and approach are one of the few reasons worth reading the site, however -

    If she can't review for shit, she can't review for shit.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:24

  • Rash' #103 4 years ago

    peterfll, It's the first tab on the bloody store! Like I said you don't know what you're talking about, "love". ;o)

  • mingster #104 4 years ago

    Arbiter do you 'honestly' think EG have a platform of choice.

    Platforms are exactly what they sound like a way of reaching something,
    in this case a way of playing a certain game.

    Therefore a platform is generic and it matters not what one you use to play a game.
    Just what game is available on what system.

    if you enjoy games in general then you should own 'all' platforms.

  • urban #105 4 years ago

    knob of a review.

  • dylan_cuthbert #106 4 years ago

    As the creator of this "pretentious" and "confusing" game, reading this review disappointed me. With this kind of pretentious attention seeking tabloid journalism I might as well give up trying to do anything that's a little different.

    Thanks to all the commentors who stood up for Eden, you are all brilliant and the team loves you all!

  • mingster #107 4 years ago

    your not brian .. i am!

  • bad09 #108 4 years ago

    I'm Sparta..er...Dylan Cuthbert!

  • Rash' #109 4 years ago

    I don't care whether it's a man or woman, if you spend you're whole time complaining about a game and then conclude with "I don't why, but it's still compelling", then you've failed as a reviewer.

    7/10 is well above average so tell us why it's well above average. Complaining for a good 1 and half pages to then spare a few paragraphs for why it's good isn't coherant writing.

    Those posting here saying "I thought it was shit, but I couldn't put it down" have fundamentally missed the point. If you can't put it down then the game clearly is doing something right.

    As I said before shockingly inarticulate review.

  • mingster #110 4 years ago

    I dunno.... i don't particularly like wine gums but i can't just have one or two and end up eating the whole pack then wondering why i bothered.

  • ronuds #111 4 years ago

    People complain about reviews being too kind these days, but when one comes out that isn't, everyone complains that it's not high enough.

    Accept the score and move on. If you don't agree, then it's your opinion. But to call the reviewer names and talk about his mother is going a bit far.

    It's some funny stuff, though!

  • Rash' #112 4 years ago

    "Accept the score and move on."

    Ah, kind of defeats the point of the comments section, mate.

    Oh, and the reviewers a she.

  • DanWhitehead #113 4 years ago

    For an example, the massive fact that Braid is incredibly short was missing from the glowing review, indeed only after being questioned did Dan come on and say it was quite possible (if you were good enough) to beat the game in a hour!

    I didn't mention it because the length of the game really wasn't an issue for me. The length of a game only really warrants a mention if its too long or too short. Braid was exactly the right length for what it was trying to do. 200 levels would have ruined it, whereas that sort of size was perfect for N+.

    The speed run time limit is 45 minutes so, like most 2D platformers, the game can be completed incredibly quickly - once you know what to do. First playthrough, most people will take at least four or five hours getting all the last puzzle pieces. Even then, I'll take quality over quantity every time.

    We now return you to Everybody Loves Ellie...

  • Rash' #114 4 years ago

    squarejawhero, I don't get paid to review and I certainly don't have a responsibility to be grammatically sound, so pIsS oFF. :)
    Edited by 2 at 07/08/08 @ 16:54

  • Rash' #115 4 years ago

    squarejawhero, Ah, no. Away with you because you don't have a high horse to sit on.

  • Rash' #116 4 years ago

    squarejawhero, If you look again you'll see it is...

    ;)

    OK. Enough of this dick waving.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 16:59

  • Eighthours #117 4 years ago

    You can't complete Braid in an hour. There's more to do after all the puzzle pieces have been collected, you know. Really, really fiendish stuff.

  • superted #118 4 years ago

    honestly the worst review i've read on this site

    comes across as really naive and arrogant

  • illusiondance #119 4 years ago

    ha ha, you seem to have upset a number of sony fan-boys Ellie.
    Anyway really good review, it has mysteriously made me want to play this game despite the awful name.

  • ChadSexington #120 4 years ago

    Jesus, give it a rest you lot.

    This was a well written review, regardless of whether you agree with Ellie's opinions or not. She's dead wrong about the physics - they're annoyingly CONSISTENT, if anything - but she should be applauded for being honest and writing a review from the heart.

  • illusiondance #121 4 years ago

    (P.S. to Gibson - your blase attitude to gaming is a valued element of balance as far as im concerned, cheers.)

  • IronCladChicken #122 4 years ago

    Wow - PS3 owners really are the whinest little pissants.
    I hadn't realised how much worse you guys are than the 360 fan bois.

  • rodpad #123 4 years ago

    P45 Achievement unlocked

  • darc #124 4 years ago

    @mcbi and Moonprince:

    You're taking my comment (and arguably this entire topic) way too seriously.

    I don't envy the EG staff. The readers are a fickle bunch. We fill up these comment threads with words of praise, addressing the writers - whom most of us have never met - on a first name basis and commending them on their senses of humor. Then when same writers get a little familiar with their tone, we bash them for being too casual, and therefore unprofessional.

    Again, all way too serious.

  • Landmaster #125 4 years ago

    I thought it was shit to be honest.

    Nearly as shit as this review.
    But Ellie's sound so it's ok :)

  • bad09 #126 4 years ago

    @ DanWhitehead

    Fair enough mate and I do agree with quality over quantity (although a few hours is taking the piss a little!), I just think such a short length should be at the very least be mentioned especially with the 10/10 score. don't get me wrong I very much enjoyed your review just a little more detail on the game would have helped.

    I wasn't picking on you BTW, just using an example :)

  • menage #127 4 years ago

    Pfff. You just suck at it.

    Let someone else review it. This just reeks of bias.

  • TASTYRYAN #128 4 years ago

    Wow looks good but i play The last guy instead of this. Looks repetitive.

  • ronuds #129 4 years ago

    @ Rash

    "Ah, kind of defeats the point of the comments section, mate."

    Fair enough, there are certainly room for comments. It just seems whenever a game (particularly PS3 titles) are rated lower than what certain people expect, it suddenly becomes an issue of incompetence from the reviewer rather than being more accepting of their opinion.

    "Oh, and the reviewers a she."

    Maybe that's the problem! ;)

  • jamespo #130 4 years ago

    got exciting reading about this game

    downloaded the demo

    yyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn

    the score is generous

  • Moonprince #131 4 years ago

    darc buddy, you misunderstand. I couldn't really care less about what you say. I saw something you wrote as silly and took 5 seconds out to reply. Simple as that - I think it's you that's taking it all a bit serious really - reviews still shit though.

  • Gaol #132 4 years ago

    Can't disagree with anything in that review and 7 seems fair.

    Doesn't matter on your skill level, you WILL be totally frustrated at certain points while playing. The game has a relaxing look and chilled out music, I'm surprised they didn't make it a bit more forgiving.

    Well worth a fiver though. And I like the pretentiousness of many PSN titles, almost like a format identity now.

  • Katsumoto #133 4 years ago

    To be honest, the fact that this review doesn't entirely, one hundred percent, mirror my own feelings, leads only to one inescapable conclusion. EG is being bought off by every company ever and is a completely shit site and i hate it OH GOD I HATE IT.

  • RedSparrows #134 4 years ago

    Pretentiousness is often a very misused insult.

    People call something pretentious if it involves anything slightly more abstract than what they like - at any level. Of course, some things ARE pretentious, no doubt.

    But let's look at the word:

    It means to make a claim of importance or of great merit. Usually associated with speaking of things 'it doesn't understand'. If a game such as Braid (not played PixelJunk, but Braid has been accused of it too, and I'll use the similarities to cover both) is pretentious, it should make claims about itself (it doesn't, it just is, and is very good), or it should, in its story, be unbearable because of its pretense.

    But it isn't. Not that I'm going to put in spoilz, but beyond some slightly poetic (any poetry is deemed by some as pretentious) language, why is it pretentious?

    THIS post IS pretentious, as it's attempting to make an important point on the internet, which is doomed to fail. But one mans pretentious is another man's passion. They're not mutually exclusive of course, but neither does it mean the former is automatically 'right', simply because they can be more cynical than the latter. Apparently, cynicism and a rejection of any attachment is the 'best' way, because it avoids all chance of damage - hence everything is pretentious, because it is not exactly like ones life, which must surely be very dull without some colour....

  • RandomTerrain #135 4 years ago

    I have no problem with this review. Reviews represent the reviewers opinion, Ellie's opinion is as valid as anyone else's. Moreover I think it's possible for everyone else to state their own opinion of the game without resorting to insults.

    +1

  • myke6699 #136 4 years ago

    The review is the epitome of what's wrong with game reviewers.

  • Dizzy #137 4 years ago

    This thread turned into a classic one. EG should recruit some of the people here for a Big Brother special. You can make money with that.

  • RedSparrows #138 4 years ago

    I disagree. I think we need more like this. Reviews are taken as too holy anyway, they need to be personalised liked this in some way. It's not as if there's only one review for a game, there are dozens, and if they all were bland it'd be very dull.

  • seasidebaz #139 4 years ago

    RedSparrows +1

    Gone back and tested something, demo = 9/10, full game = 7/10

    They appear to have broken something along the way... ie controls and physics.

  • phatb0y #140 4 years ago

    Pretentious as in review style that has ideas above its station?

    That review reeked of media student wanting a big break.

    (must learn to spell when trying to be a smartass)
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 19:05

  • CannonAnBall #141 4 years ago

    Anyone played PixelJunk Monsters? That is infuriating as hell.

    Anyone played PixelJunk Eden? That is infuriating as hell.

    ...I see a pattern.

    Both great little games in their own right. Utterly addictive, yet utterly annoying at the same time.

  • InsoFox #142 4 years ago

    Well, I don't know that the fanboyism label is SO undeserved.. after all we've seen at least points 1, 2 and 4 from the list here, so far:

    http://ww w.destructoid.com/ten-golden-ru...

  • darc #143 4 years ago

    "darc buddy, you misunderstand. I couldn't really care less about what you say."

    Then I have to imagine I'm not your "buddy".

    "I saw something you wrote as silly..."

    It was intended to be silly. Hence all the rest. Whatever...

  • bad09 #144 4 years ago

    @ InsoFox

    That is awesome, when did you come across Bligs' bible? ;)

    I loved the line:

    "With great fanboyism comes great responsibility"

    I can imagine Uncle Kaz sat them all down and told them that before evil Bill Gates shot him dead.

    With that A race of PS3 superheroes was born! :)

  • JediMasterMalik #145 4 years ago

    I'm not going to say anything about how good Ellie is at the game, or about her opinion of the game. But there are some inaccuracies in the review, like the physics, but worst of all, why the pretentious argument?!

    Also, the game is no where near as hard as the review makes out, it can be frustrating, but it's perfect for playing once every few days. Perhaps that was the issue, Ellie was playing for a review deadline, and not just for fun.

  • old_skool #146 4 years ago

    Hmmm...looks like that ex-Eidos guy might have been on to something...

  • jonsaan #147 4 years ago

    EG. You suck. Really. This is the best game I have played in years. 10/10 without a doubt.

  • miiiguel #148 4 years ago

    while I think discussing the merits of a review is healthy, it looses all its positive points when one figures out that this is solely because of being a PS3 game. Put the same game on a MS system and the opinions change 180º.

    God, I do miss th berlin wall, todays caviar left left is boring, they whine about money, and monopolies, and open fridges. They bash Bill gates and they say their next computer will be a Mac. Linux is supposed to be the politically corect OS too. They play on a PS3, where every game must be good, Nintendo is ok too. They have higher morals, and they don´t read books with pictures. Damn..., bring dogmatic left back!
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 19:50

  • old_skool #149 4 years ago

    please miiguel, spare us the psycho babble, the review is scandalous. It lacks proper analysis.

  • seasidebaz #150 4 years ago

    macgamerslol oxymoron of the century...

    BAck to being slightly on topic, Insofox's link is awesome! It really made me realise how much of an PlayStation Wii60 fanboy I truly am!

  • seasidebaz #151 4 years ago

    Oh yeah, and @old skool:

    Having bought the game, and played it for a while, it's not that great. Like I said, the demo is great. The full game is broken.

  • Gradius #152 4 years ago

    Seriously, some of you children (like Arbiter and his preteen chums) are a real embarrassment to the human race...

    /Despairs

  • old_skool #153 4 years ago

    I can appreciate what Ellie tried to do: To give us her gaming experience. I don't have a problem with the score. I do have a problem with her experience. It's lacking, incomplete, just too many elements missing. Sounds like she never finished the game. She became too 'frustrated' and focused too much on that. Obviously the game elicited that state of mind. So is it the game's fault then? Some paradox we have here!

  • miiiguel #154 4 years ago

    Do an exercise: chose the most passionate Ellie-bashing comments (read tasteless insults) and check the posters profile 90% of them are part of that non-pretentious; non-segregational group called "PS3, I choose you".

    Really, it isn´t much about the game.

  • JHuxley #155 4 years ago

    "This one is perhaps unfair."

    Yeah...no shit.

    I don't have an issue with Ellie's opinion or her style of writing (she's probably the funniest writer on this website), but I still don't understand why she gave this game 7/10 after absolutely ripping it to pieces for 90% of the review.

    And yes, I have read the last paragraph. But even there she's more intent on emphasising the negative than really explaining why she actually likes the game enough to give it 7/10. If I hadn't played the game, I'd have absolutely no idea why I should even consider buying it from reading this. Apparently it's little more than an exercise in frustration. For that reason, this review fails.

    Which is a shame, because I feel a lot of people will be missing out on a beautifully crafted, addictive and fun game because of this. It's far from perfect, and 7/10 is a fair score, but couldn't you have spent just a *little* more time explaining why you liked it, Ellie? Even 20% would be double ;)

    Oh, and sorry but you are rubbish at the game Ellie. And so is Oli. No disrespect, but failing to get past the second level is equally as shameful as messing up on the first so many times. It's really not that difficult, especially during the early stages. Mind you, that would explain why you're convinced the physics are broken...

  • secombe #156 4 years ago

    If this is the first review from Ellie that the PS3 bods have seen, go check out the Family Ski review for the Wii then read the comments...her reviews are entertaining, yes, but they do worry me a bit.

  • old_skool #157 4 years ago

    @miiiguel

    Like Ellie's review is a testament of the lack of substance in it, so is your comment.You clearly don't know much about people.

  • pommak #158 4 years ago

    @ JHuxley

    My thoughts exactly. You just were able to elaborate it in more nicely manner.

  • seasidebaz #159 4 years ago

    I will apologise for all my comments about a broken game. It's only me, apparently.

    I like Ellie's style of review, however. I grew up in the 90's, and so had such gems as Mean Machines, CVG and the Official Nintendo Magazine (Mk. I, containing a pic I drew for a competition).

    For people like me, we know what games we like. We know good games when we see them. It's nice to see some personal view for once.

    Keep up the good work Ellie, and please marry me ;)

  • Hughes. #160 4 years ago

    I think I'll stick to the forum from now on. With willfully misleading inflammatory news headlines, a "no hive mind" review policy that is actually more akin to a "headless chicken" review policy, and comments cnuts that would best serve the internet by severing their own hands so they can't stink up the interwebs typing their shit, the front page is basically unbearable (nice layout though).

    Two things:-

    Ellie's gender is irrelevant. No defense of that stupid "leave it to the men" comment is possible.

    Reviews based on the first couple of levels; that make a giant CAPS LOCK bullet point about a £4.99 game being overpriced, which is immediately followed by small font caveats that it isn't overpriced at all, is, frankly, shit work.

    Unfortunately, Braid and PixelJunk Eden are exclusive to competing platforms. This means that objecting to one achingly pretentious piece of wank, with an unusually high price getting a 10/10, when one where the pretension is entirely in the eyes of the reviewer, which offers a significantly longer campaign, for less money getting 7/10, could, in the eyes of a total dickhead, look like the result of fanboyism.

    There are fanboys in this thread, objecting; you'd expect that. That does nothing to redeem the review. To argue that Ellie's great style should be enough to circumvent the need to actually represent the game accurately, to impart some useful information about the gameplay other than that the reviewer was shit at it, and whether the game is worth what it costs (which Ellie suggests it is, underneath a gigantic subheading saying it isn't).

    Maybe Ellie has spent too long reviewing shovelware shit, and is so in the habit of being sarcastic about games that she's forgotten that there's more to reviewing than just witty invective? I wouldn't want to lose that for anything, but there should be a real review to go with it.

    Anyone reading this review, who then goes onto defend it, by using, of all phrases, "fanboy" needs to familiarise themselves with the photonic reflective capabilities of pots and kettles. There is really nothing to defend here, which is why the term "fanboy", and the wank excuse of "I played the demo and I agree" (I get the feeling that's all Ellie played too) are the only rallying points the ever present comments section trolls have to cling to.

    It's better than the Folklore review though, that shoddy "I couldn't understand Japanese so it's crap" effort was EG's lowest point ever (so far).

  • miiiguel #161 4 years ago

    Post history tells no lies. And... PS3, I choose you!

    I mean, I can understand meself, as someone said, I can´t do much substance, but... no one who is bashing Ellie actually talked about the game.
    Talk about "on-topic substance"...


    Even the pseudo-non-fanboys.
    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 22:07

  • old_skool #162 4 years ago

    Why don't you do me a favor and just show me some of my post history that's supposedly biased. And please do show me where I'm supposedly bashing Ellie. My reasons for joining that forum, which btw I hadn't visited more than 7 months ago, might be for some other reasons.

    How you can judge a person on some forum he rarely visits...all I can say is WOW. You need to stop defending Ellie and just face up to the poor review she wrote.

  • DjFlex52 #163 4 years ago

    @Hughes : ++

    .....though it seemed like more than 2 points, I totally agree with all your points :)
    I want to add that there's an overload of reviews for each game nowadays (sometimes there are 50 for each game on Metacritic).
    And I doubt that someone buys a game solely on EG reviews, so why such a brouhaha?
    As Hughes. said....for the whiners, it's more about the console platform than the game itself.

  • miiiguel #164 4 years ago

    I think the problem is not Eliie, nor the game, nor the score. The problem was the fact Braid came first. Have this one been printed beforehand, and things would have been quieter, imo.

  • bad09 #165 4 years ago

    @ old skool

    To be fair I don't think miiiguel was aiming that at you, rather a sweeping reference to the wallies who always complain about the reviews especially when it's a PS3 game.

  • Stuz359 #166 4 years ago

    Ha Ha. People still not getting that a review is someones opinion, not gospel. I find that very funny. I wish they would stop scoring these things then we wouldn't get al this controversy. Ha Ha.

  • miiiguel #167 4 years ago

    old_skool, bad´s right, as you correctly said I don´t see you around enough to have such an opinion.

    That said, I came here just to see why many posts, and what I saw: "go play women systems"; "MS is funding EG"; "oh da bias!"; "you suck"; "you probably only played the demo"; "Braid is not that good"....


    I mean..., do (some) of you still remember what game are we talking about?
    Edited by 2 at 07/08/08 @ 22:46

  • belziah #168 4 years ago

    @bad09

    That is awesome, when did you come across Bligs' bible? ;)

    I loved the line:

    "With great fanboyism comes great responsibility"

    And then you spoil it by defending miiiguel.

    In my opinion its a marmite game but the review was utter shit. Akin to asking the 3AM Girls(and no not because she's woman but, due to the quality or lack of it,in said review) to review Hamlet starring Patrick Stewart and David Tennant.

    "Its reeeeeally boring, well 'spensive and they talk funny but I stayed 'cos that Star Trek Wars fella and the fit Docta When's in it and he's got luvly eyes, innit!"

    I love the game but can see why others don't. All I got from Ellie was, 'I'm shit at it, it's shit but I'll spread that over a couple of pages to sound earnest'. Just because she's droll doesn't make this a good review.


    Edited by 1 at 07/08/08 @ 23:21

  • Rash' #169 4 years ago

    As people are drawing parallels between the two games and the issue of biase has crept into the thread, why did Braid get release day review while Eden was reviewed a whole week later?

  • onyxbox #170 4 years ago

    this review is wrong... plain and simple and yet another example of the journalistic demise of EG.

    Eden is a simple and sublime game that seems difficult at first then becomes comfortable, hypnotic and almost therapeutic the more you play it... i was shocked by the review... I wondered if they played the same game.

    And all that nonsense about inconsistency was ludicrous... the game is built on consistency it's what makes the simple game-play work...

    EG I'm shocked.

  • Pike #171 4 years ago

    Fucking hell, this comments thread is full of stupid.

  • JHuxley #172 4 years ago

    "The problem was the fact Braid came first. Have this one been printed beforehand, and things would have been quieter, imo."

    Maybe, but but one of Ellie's main criticisms was the fact she thought it was (and I quote) "3. PRETENTIOUS". That's surely something you can level and Braid and its developer (as Ellie seems to take issue with PixelJunk also)? Most people comparing this to yesterday's review are merely highlighting that discrepancy, which is a fair point.

    "I mean..., do (some) of you still remember what game are we talking about?"

    That's quite amusing, because you haven't said anything about the game at all. You've played it, I presume? What did you think? Did you agree with the review?

  • miiiguel #173 4 years ago

    "That's quite amusing, because you haven't said anything about the game at all. You've played it, I presume? What did you think? Did you agree with the review? "
    I told you (see quoted posted) my reasons were merely voyeuristic. And I can add another, I *realy* want to buy a PS3, money is itching in my pocket, but I´m still scared of most PS3 fauna I know. Personal attacks and stuff, is kinda scary.

    Once again, no particualar target.

  • bad09 #174 4 years ago

    @ belziah

    "And then you spoil it by defending miiiguel."

    Ah miiiguel is OK, his posts make me laugh quite a lot!

    Kudos to you sir for I actually want the 3am girls to review Hamlet now for a laugh :)

  • timberwolf #175 4 years ago

    idiot... this is the best game on psn... and is certainly not overpriced.

  • CunningLinguist #176 4 years ago

    From the comic convention pictures I got the impression that this lady would consider anything that doesn't come in a plastic mug, or isn't microwaveable to be a tad pretentious. Either that or she needs a good once over, just to dust the cobwebs south of the border, and clear her mind. Question is who's going to take one for the team?

  • Transcendent #177 4 years ago

    Yahtzee provides more informative reviews than this.

  • Waffleaber #178 4 years ago

    I must really be missing something, i've not heard of this game before today and yet it is proving incredibly divisive (although perhaps I shouldn't be surprised with the high praise an original xbox live game received yesterday.)

    I'm loving the fact that when Ellie reviews Big Beach Sports or their like on the Wii she gets commended for taking the piss with her irreverent simillies and personal attitudes towards playing the game but when it happens to a game which apparently quite a lot of people had high hopes for she is shouted down.

    I'm equally sure you could edit the review to take out every comment not related to gameplay, graphics and story etc quite easily and still come up with a review where 7 would be a fair mark, for instance re-read the review starting from point 1. confusing and continue reading until when Oli enters. Resume reading at "so why can't I leave it alone" and you have a review which is a critical analysis of the gameplay without any personal touches where the resulting 7 seems a fair mark.

    Obviously I haven't played this but quite frankly this comment has nothing to do with the game itself and everything to do with people blaming the fact that the reviewer has allowed a little colour into their review of the game for an review score less than they'd hoped.

  • dylan_cuthbert #179 4 years ago

    I think the problem with this review is that it is written in the style of a troll post. It over-emphasizes the little things to try and be funny and interesting and stir people up. It's like a review of Battlefield that complains that you are shot all the time, or that you crash the helicopters too easily so it's crap.

    Perhaps that is the angle eurogamer is going for - they just want all the attention (which is why trolls do what they do)?

    I personally have no problem with the score - but the majority of the review contradicts the score!! Get some balls, if you are going to write a review like that then give it 5/10 or less! Don't troll and then say it is actually not bad.

    Someone mentioned marmite - that is definitely a factor I think. We're not being pretentious with PixelJunk, we are simply making the games we want to make without being dictated to by publishers or the public (this is really rare in the games industry). This means they are very personal creations so some people simply won't be able to get into our minds and they won't like it (like the eurogamer staff it seems), it doesn't make them bad people, but they need to move onto the next game and get over the fact that a lot of people love Eden - like this chap: http://ww w.brainygamer.com/the_brainy_ga...

  • floppylobster #180 4 years ago

    My god it's a little scary how many people are mentioning Ellie by name here. This never used to happen quite extraordinarily as much with the other reviewers. How nice it must be to be a girl gamer with hundreds of guys lining up to get to know you... If it were me I think I’d stop doing video reviews...

  • 3william56 #181 4 years ago

    Now then, dear. Why don't you sit down and have a nice cup of tea.

    From the demo, I couldn't see inconsistent physics, just me b*ggering it up. In fact, the physics are too accurate, and not "videogamey" enough (double jumps cough) and tricky until you get used to them.

    Yeah, the instructions are a bit weird - for about 10 seconds until you play and it's pretty obvious from then on in. Compared to FlOw (none) or Everyday Shooter (no clues on enemies), it's not a hard ask.

    My only complaint would be that it would be nice to be able to shoot a silk when in flight (like R&C's swingshot or Spidey) to save the long falls to the bottom, and would make it a more flowing game. But it's hardly a GTA style 20 minute slog to get back to where you were - a couple of jumps and that's it. You just have to learn to use the environment and physics properly.

    I personally put it in the vaunted games/art crossover box where I keep Ico, Everyday Shooter, FlOw, Echochrome and Okami (and would probably stuff Braid in there if I had a 360). Relaxing, simple but challenging. Brilliant.

    Give Ellie a chocolate hobnob, and she'll give it 9/10 tomorrow.

  • nathaneurogamer #182 4 years ago

    Hello.
    Just wanted to let you know that you should have people who meet the following points review games for your site;
    a) actually know how to play games
    b) are actually DECENT at games if they believe they know a)
    c) aren't mentally disabled

    Your Pixeljunk Eden reviewer (http://ww w.eurogamer.net/article.php?art... is an absolute idiot and fails all 3 points i have brought up.
    Let me go into a quick review of her horrible review:

    "1. CONFUSING" >> not confusing if you actually read the instructions by pressing select. she obviously did not.

    "2. FRUSTRATING" >> -can- be frustrating at times in the end levels, but the first 5-6 are piss easy. it's obvious she did not make it past the 3rd or 4th level as she brought up with her "5. DULL" point.

    "3. PRETENTIOUS" >> don't even get me started on this point. it's just absolutely stupid and it's as though she only plays and only likes FPS games.

    "4. OVERPRICED" >> a game that costs around the same amount as a meal (or coffee depending where you live) that will give you at least 20 hours gameplay is overpriced? LOL.

    Overall, one of the worst reviews that your site has had.
    If you insist on letting her keep reviewing games even though this one was a monumental fuckup from anyone outside of your organization, please let her stick to simple games like guitar hero, she obviously cannot handle anything else.

    Peace.

  • Dizzy #183 4 years ago

    Gamespot also gave it a 7. Let's go all over there to complain as well!

  • dylan_cuthbert #184 4 years ago

    @ disc
    yes it is the real me.. actually this review has given our game a lot more attention and this comments section is a blast to read. :-)
    Poor Ellie really does bring it on herself, she gets more shit thrown at her than our game does! I've started feeling sorry for her as she was obviously just still in the "confused" initial state when you start playing Eden - you can tell it was dawning on her at the end of the review.

  • Widge #185 4 years ago

    ok, I think I have to distance myself from the PS3 idiot brigade here...

  • the_genius #186 4 years ago

    Ellie was bound to rip into the game, that's her style, it's what she does. My question is, why is she given this to review and not stuff like Braid or Geometry Wars? Is it because pissing off PS3 fans is so good for page hits?

  • bad09 #187 4 years ago

    @ Widge

    I know what you mean mate, reading some of the (quite nasty) insults on here makes me ashamed to be a PS3 owner.

  • belziah #188 4 years ago

    @bad09 and widge

    Why associate yourselves with anyone on this site. Do you need the validation?

    Your purchasing choice doesn't make you a particular type of person, your comments do.

    That's why Ellie's getting the shit she is, because of the comments she made. She how it works?

  • Les #189 4 years ago

    "Hooray! Another day, another horrible and horribly self-indulgent review."

    What else to expect from EG? :( I can't read their reviews in full anymore. Quickly scanning to see if there's anything of interest (which 99% of the time there isn't) is all I can manage these days...

  • Widge #190 4 years ago

    Usually I'm happy enough to defend (especially against cliched "no games", "vastly inferior" comments), there is a certain core populous who live in the PS3 threads waging the "360 MUST DESTROY" war, who for some reason don't seem to be interested in the 360 threads whatsoever. Just as there are those who are flying the Sony PR flag in other threads. But this is a bit silly.

    Certainly it is an inflammatory review, the bashers and defenders hone straight to the large font bullet points, ammunition for the personal war, while completely ignoring the conclusion of "ITS A GOOD GAME".

    Get over it, both sides.

  • #191 4 years ago

    LOL at that review!


    maybe she was on her rag?
    Edited by 1 at 08/08/08 @ 09:38

  • DjFlex52 #192 4 years ago

    Get over it, both sides.

    @Widge

    ....if only, Widge :)

    Braid averages 92 w/ three 10's and Eden averages an 83 w/ nary a 10 on Metacritic.
    Twimc, I surmise that means the whole internet is biased against the PS3.....yawn.


  • Widge #193 4 years ago

    You are associated by default by owning a console. Trying to put across that I'm not one of a faceless mass.

  • FaceOmeter #194 4 years ago

    maybe she was on her rag?

    My god, it's embarrassing being a gamer sometimes. Look at all of you!

    And for the record, putting a smiley after a rampantly misogynistic comment doesn't make it instantly fine...
    Edited by 1 at 08/08/08 @ 09:58

  • SeesThroughAll #195 4 years ago

    First time a review for a downloadable game ever got over 200 comments, I think.
    Edited by 1 at 08/08/08 @ 10:05

  • JHuxley #196 4 years ago

    @widge

    I think it's a bit unfair to call all the people flinging personal insults around fanboys.

    They're much, much worse than that.

  • mingster #197 4 years ago

    230 comments for average game shocker!
    Ellie pulls in the page hits .. nicely done.

  • Katsumoto #198 4 years ago

    "this review is wrong"

    rofl

  • DJmizuhara #199 4 years ago

    Wow...what a horse shit review, sounded like she had no idea what she was doing.
    Maybe she should go back to playing games like pong or snake on her Nokia 3310.
    She says Eden is pretentious, but that review is the most pretentious thing I have ever read, EVER!!!

    Too expensive? lol...Minimum wage confirmed at EuroGamer.

    Total joke review, next time EuroGamer don't let a 12 year old review a game...

    Ellie, your mums waiting!!!
    Edited by 1 at 09/08/08 @ 01:40

  • Katsumoto #200 4 years ago

    "next time EuroGamer don't let a 12 year old review a game..."

    "Ellie, you're mums waiting!!! "

    Irony?

  • FaceOmeter #201 4 years ago

    Irony?

    No, unfortunately. Just a git.

  • SeesThroughAll #202 4 years ago

    230 comments for average game shocker!

    Well, I found it to be quite above average, myself. But I can see where Ellie is coming from.
    Unlike some really bad reviews that unfortunately polluted EG in the past, her review was OK, though.
    She simply talked about her own experience with the game and made her point. Which is what a review is about.

  • septimus #203 4 years ago

    Braid is shit to, but is on XBOX so 10 for that. Eden is shit though, deleted it after 30 mins. Braid lasted an hour.

  • illusiondance #204 4 years ago

    RedSparrows is brilliant, are people still upset by this review?

  • tonynibbles #205 4 years ago

    I love this game.

    The review is very entertaining, but I think it could've talking more about the game features.
    It's the first PS3 game released in Europe (or U.S) that lets you record your own gameplay videos, export them or upload them directly to YouTube. Has a nice number of PSN Trophies plus custom soundtracks (once you complete the game).

  • Danbojones Verified Senior Staff Writer, GamesIndustry.biz #206 4 years ago

    Listen, do you smell misogyny? That won't be tolerated I'm afraid. feel free to vent spleen in whichever way you like, but a quick check of the posting rules will reveal that discrimination of any kind is totally unacceptable. Ignore that and you'll find yourself in hot water sharpish.

  • Widge #207 4 years ago

    Hold on, I just need to put misogyny into Wikipedia

  • ixalon #208 4 years ago

    I don't agree with what Ellie writes, but I think some people are being unfairly harsh on her. Reviews are a single person's feeling of a game, and whilst the game doesn't seem to appeal to her, if you read it in the context of all the other reviews out there, you get a better picture of the game, i.e. that most people will love it, that it may take some time for it to 'click' but that it does have an amazing ability to hold one's attention.

    If we want games to be accepted as something more, as an artform such as film, theatre or literature, we've got to come to terms with the fact that you can't please every critic. Even a masterpiece such as Eden will fail to win over some.

  • Unknown27 #209 4 years ago

    Couldn't give a crap about this game (mostly because I don't own a PS3) but really wanted to drop a line because I'm sick of all these idiots whinging about reviews!

    Personally I love reviews like this, they really convey the reviewers experience with a game and that's what I find most interesting. As a few people have stated, EG's reviews tend to be in this style and, like those people, this I why I now come here for all reviews. Reviews that are broken down, describing all the different features, the graphics, the music, the sound the BLAH BLAH BLAH bore me senseless. EG's reviews convey how it feels to play the game and that's most important to me. You're not paying for these reviews so if you don't like them, take a hike.

    So Ellie, great review, ignore these miserable sods who obviously don't know how to have a laugh and spend all their time getting worked up about someone else's opinion on a game.

    Seriously guys, chill out, go get laid or somethin! ;)

    /waits patiently for angry responses to laugh at

  • mingster #210 4 years ago

    EG reviews sux... Ellie sux... 360 sux.. S.D.F Rulez ... my comment sux.. etc.. etc..

  • Prox #211 4 years ago

    Eden a 7 and Braid a 10? And Eden is the one called pretentious? WTF?

  • Hypercube #212 4 years ago

    I don't have a PS3, so the score means nothing to me, but I enjoyed reading the review. I like Ellie's style and sense of humour.

  • JoeNut #213 4 years ago

    Probably the worst review i've read on this website so far.

    You're obviously biased because you're rubbish at it by the sounds of it, you sound like you're trying to be Yahtzee (but you're not funny)

  • VMerken #214 4 years ago

    Wow, reviews as community bait on a regular basis, who'd-a thunk it? Remember, the credibility of these opinion pieces works better if the scores are ditched.
    Edited by 1 at 08/08/08 @ 19:04

  • pommak #215 4 years ago

    @Eighthours

    When I want entertaining information about a game, I read a gaming magazine. This review has nothing to do with gaming, and therefore I shouldn't find it here.

  • Katsumoto #216 4 years ago

    Why not just go to wikipedia if you just want facts.

    GAH.

  • jonsaan #217 4 years ago

    Not very Euro having different scores in different countries under the same brand is it EG?

  • Katsumoto #218 4 years ago

    Lol, you think all the different journalists should meet up in Belgium or somewhere first and agree on a score?

  • PuppyFiddler #219 4 years ago

    I was 'ok' with this review until I actually played the game itself and then realised what a load of shite this review was.
    As has been repeated numerous times by many people - there is nothing confusing,pretentious or overpriced about Eden. Call it dull if you like but don't then go onto say you're hooked on it. I'm sure cocaine isn't dull because it's addictive.

    The review 'style' is fine but the content of it is pure drivel. I forget who reviewed GTA4 here but that review sticks in my mind as being one of the worst I've ever seen - starting to wonder about eurogamer.

  • webcider #220 4 years ago

    Who the F*** cares for reviews anyway so you don't like the music alright thats cool.
    So you don't like the level design alright thats cool
    So you still think its good ehh? well yeah funny review and all this is utterly shit.

    So people come from all around the site to say they played a demo and thinks its a well deserved "meh"

    Thats just utterly unintelligent posting at least say why. Agreeing with a review that hates the music hates the level design hates the plot bla bla bla. can't take more of this.

    Serious if there are some people that hate the game fine but don't let that stop others for trying it out, im so glad that i never read this review before buying the game if i had done that i might would had called it garbage as some other people does.
    However im glad some appreciate different gaming experiences. This has a artistic appeal where graphic and music creates a whole new feeling. The game even hint you at it. THIS Game has to be watched on HDTV as well as a good Speaker system to be appreciated to the full potential thats the way the game was intended. Also i don't get people who just don't like these games coming to say they don't like this game. Do you like the other similarly games? no then why the fuck comment.

    Bye ohh yeah very poor review. but still a good read thx to ellies journalist degree. someday humour and sarcasme won't help Eurogamer but till that day come we can all still be happy ehh NOT!

  • luckettx #221 4 years ago

    A new low for Eurogamer. Actually starting the review with "I hate PixelJunk Eden." is like reading the petulant User reviews at GameFAQs. Eurogamer certainly is slowly but surely enforcing a negative image of itself with these slanted reviews seemingly enforcing an anti-Sony agenda each time..

  • Sneti_Joker #222 4 years ago

    Worst Pixeljunk Eden review ever.

    Make that worst review ever, period.

  • Zebula77 #223 4 years ago

    One of the coolest PSN titles in a good while. This has me completely hooked at the mo. Reminds me of Loco Roco, which is never a bad thing. Cool music, too. (I'm struggling with the trophies, tho!)

  • blether68 #224 4 years ago

    This game is hypnotic and very beautiful with almost flawless sound/graphics design. At first I thought the timer ( well, tuner!!) worked against the inner logic of the game but there are usually enough refills with minimal planning. One thing I noticed as well is if you rush the game then you probably fare worse than if you take your time.
    Excellent value for money. Thanks PixelJunk.
    Edited by 1 at 25/08/08 @ 19:45