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PC Game Roundup Review
PC Review by Darren Allen
Page 2 of 5.
Page 1Page 3: "Alpine Ski Racing 2007" 
Tortuga - Two Treasures
Take two treasures into the shower? Not me - I don't shower. I'm a pirate for one-legged Pete's sake. I'm smelly and scary, bearded and blustery, and I say "avast me hearties" more often than is absolutely necessary (once). Tortuga has all the right and proper pirate clichés, complete with inspiration from Pirates of the Caribbean (a love story, voodoo and an undead ghost ship type thing).
The game is divided into two halves - sea-faring and land-lubbing sections. The ship-to-ship combat plays out like a basic arcade game with very simple controls. It's all about manoeuvring your vessel into position to deliver more broadside cannon volleys than your opponent, although there are some added tactical nuances. Different types of cannon shot can be selected (there's one which rips sails, for example, to cut a vessel's speed), and mines can be dropped, or enemies lured onto reefs. After a while these battles become rather repetitive, but at least there are some entertaining moments to be had here.
I'll cut the tongue from the next fella' to call me Sparrow!
Any enjoyment swiftly evaporates when you hit land and Tortuga turns into a completely bobbins third-person swash'n'buckle. The movement system is clunky, the animations are poor and combat itself is largely a matter of clicking the left mouse button and slaughtering your way through piles of guards or pirates. It all feels especially artificial as the auto-targeting feature even faces you towards your next opponent after a kill, so you literally only need hammer that mouse button and occasionally pop a health potion. There are special moves to be learnt, but they seem fairly redundant.
The clichéd storyline is accompanied by plenty of hammily acted cut-scenes, and the whole package is ultimately pretty forgettable. There's some nautical mileage in the sea battles, but that's not nearly enough.
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Tortuga: Two Treasures - Preview trailer [2] 5 December, 2006
Tortuga - Two Treasures - Sea Battles [0] 24 March, 2006
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Thing is...if one of the games is really good, then it'd deserve a full length review, no?
Hmmm.... good point... But other than saying "here's a bunch of games that are't that good - steer clear", with all due respect to the work Darren has put into this, I suppose the question is: why bother at all? None of these games was on my radar before and they're certainly off it now. |
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Holy cow, that's quite the terrible collection you assembled there.
I guess the format isn't bad, but maybe it should somehow be made clear from the beginning that it'll be an article about games not good enough for a "proper" review - I first had the impression it would be a roundup of overlooked little gems rather than the trash it is, and came away a little disappointed. |
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Tricky situation really. I like the idea too. There are often loads of PC games you see in shops (and console games really) but don't have a clue about, so this is a useful feature.
However, I agree with KillerBee at the same time. I imagine Darren is going to get a bit peeved each time you shovel five shit-to-mediocre games in his direction every month or so. |
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We're already doing about 65 game reviews a month, and have been for some time now.
The point is, Darren had no idea these games were going to be cack when he started the round-up, and in future there may well be hidden gems among them. Also, one thing we ought to point out is that we have a limited budget, and simply can't devote 1000 words to every single game that comes out. If you lot want to pitch in with in-depth reader reviews, that's all fine with me :) |
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True krudster, but what happens then if Darren finds a game isn't cack? Are you going to pull it from this article and give the game its own review?
I know that's what you were asking further up, but what do you reckon would happen? I'd be inclined to leave it in here. First rule of PC Game Roundup - what gets chucked at Darren (or whoever) and gets reviewed here, stays here! |
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alimokrane
30/04/07 @ 08:52
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Glad you guys are doing this. Other websites seem to have forgotten that the PC exists and they tend to review only those super hyped games ... you give us hope!
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The point is, Darren had no idea these games were going to be cack when he started the round-up, and in future there may well be hidden gems among them.
Fair enough - that's answered my question, thanks Krudster. Here's hoping (not least for Darren's sake!) that there are a few hidden gems next time around. @disc: So only good games deserve good reviews? No - all games deserve a review. Having said that, I am well aware that Eurogamer can't hope to revew every single game that gets released, so I'd much rather those resources were devoted to bringing us reviews of great games we really should play or to warning us about over-hyped crap. The reason for my question was that I'd not particularly heard of any of these games and really wouldn't have given it a second thought if there was no EG review. That fact that there is a review is good, but it's disappointing that none of the games are really that great. /shrugs |
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No - all games deserve a review. Having said that, I am well aware that Eurogamer can't hope to revew every single game that gets released, so I'd much rather those resources were devoted to bringing us reviews of great games we really should play or to warning us about over-hyped crap. The reason for my question was that I'd not particularly heard of any of these games and really wouldn't have given it a second thought if there was no EG review. That fact that there is a review is good, but it's disappointing that none of the games are really that great. On the plus side, if you happen to glance upon one of these games at the bargain bin at Tescos (etc), then you can tell if it's worth a pop or not. |
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The Bodybuilder
30/04/07 @ 09:35
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>"how many ppl only flick to the review scores anyway? Good game or not? :P "
Those people who whing and moan about the score, yet not bothering to read the review as to why it got tht score? We all know how that ends up. |
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PlugMonkey
30/04/07 @ 10:07
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Nice article. I'd much rather read 5 straight to the point reviews of obscure/average games than one full length review that's been done in a 'hilarious' writing style to fill the void.
And as someone else said, these are the sorts of games you find in the 2 for £10 section of Game. If there's one that sounds like it might keep me entertained for a few hours on a hungover Sunday, that's often enough to pique my interest. You should do a Steam round up - that's where my hungover Sunday games come from when I'm too hungover to leave the flat... |
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I'm of the opinion that 'obscure' or not, I want to read about more about good games and less about bad ones. There are plenty of great games that don't get enough coverage because they come from small studios, don't have huge marketing budgets, etc. I'd value Eurogamer alot more if they told me about those, and gave them the coverage they deserve because of their quality, not their market significance.
Some games are more obscure than they deserve to be and EG is complicit in that. I've been enjoying the hell out of the source mod 'Minerva' which I only stumbled across in the forums. Why? |
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YourMessageHere
30/04/07 @ 14:17
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I find it unlikely that there's enough good but unknown stuff out there to actually justify this idea over a long space of time, but I see no reason not to put the thing out there if you EG people feel you have enough free time to do so =P. Shame these particular 5 are as "bleh" as they are.
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Perrythegreat
30/04/07 @ 16:02
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Think this is a very good concept, and one I think should be continued. As you said, you might get a game of the year out of it, which would be good
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