Rockstar has revealed more details of the merry band of violent mobsters, bent cops, dirty pervos and corrupt transsexuals we can expect to meet in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, coming to PSP on October 28.
As you'll know if you've read our recent preview, GTA: LCS is set in 1998, three years earlier than Grand Theft Auto III, when political corruption is rife and union strikes are bringing the city to a standstill. To make matters worse, the notorious three families are at war with each other - and all the while, the Yakuza are trying to muscle in on their territory.
The game's main character is one Toni Cipriani, "a fairly low order mobster" who's trying to sort out the chaos and bring the city under Leone control. Toni, you may recall, first appeared in GTA III.
Now meet his new friend, ladies man Vincenzo "Lucky" Cilli. He started out getting drinks for the made guys in the Leone family's bars and poker rooms, but after catching the attention of Don Salvatore he rose quickly through the ranks.
Now he's on the way to being Consigliere, and Sal has put him in charge of watching over Toni and keeping him busy. Fireworks are set to ensue.
Then there's Toni's potential stepdad - Giovanni Casa, a deli owner who's "caught the eye of Toni's mother, Ma Cipriani, with his special spicy Sicilian sausage."
He's described as a tough talker who's a coward deep down inside, and is "rumoured throughout the neighbourhood to have some childish fetishes.
"Ultimately, Casa is a mommy's boy, and he doesn't seem to care whose mommy" - and Toni's out to expose him for what he really is.
Next up is Kazuki Kasen, the immaculately groomed elder brother of Kenji Kasen and current head of the Liberty City Yakuza. Ambitious and driven, he's recently taken to moving in on the mafia's turf - and as a result he's caught the attention of the Leone, Forelli and Sindacco families.
Kazuki is married to the lovely Toshiko Kasen, but apparently he prefers "the company of his Yakuza men to spending time with Toshiko. Or any woman for that matter..."
Speaking of women - or not, read on - meet Jane Hopper, "a corrupt union boss who will often 'contract' her unions out to the highest bidder."
She's an experienced negotiator and all round dodgy dealer, and has the power to organise strikes or put an instant end to them depending on who's greasing her palm.
Hence she recently called a strike amongst public transport and dock workers over the building of a new tunnel - but it turns out Salvatore Leone and his mob boss chums rely heavily on union workers, and are none too pleased.
Hopper's "hardball approach of doing business makes her more of a man in many people's eyes than even the toughest wise guys or city officials," according to Rockstar - in fact, "Rumour has it that Jane may actually be a man herself. Or used to be."
Hopper's not the only corrupt official in Liberty City, naturally. Detective Leon McAffrey has for some time now been taking dirty cash and using it to pay his way up through the ranks of the police department - but all that could be about to change.
See, McAffrey's got a new partner, and he's straight as they come. Now Leon's got to teach him the way things really work, and hope he doesn't end up getting exposed along the way.
In between dealing with local mobsters like Paulie Sindacco, of course. The Sindaccos run the Red Light district and are perhaps the most powerful family in Liberty City. In the early 90s they amassed a huge fortune through the casinos of Las Venturas and now they're eyeing the Liberty's lucrative drug and gambling industries, and have already opened their own casino/bordello - the Doll's House - on the outskirts of Hepburn Heights.
Sindacco likes to keep it on the down low, and spends a lot of time travelling back and forth between Liberty City and Las Venturas - hence he's known as 'The Invisible Don'. He entrusts city affairs to his capos, and anyone who messes up gets a one way ticket to the bottom of the river. Because they've been murdered, do you see?
Joseph Daniel O'Toole, or JD for short, is one of Sindacco's many underlings. An "interminable pervert and a career criminal," he's currently running their girly club - Paulie's Review Bar - in the heart of the Red Light district. And he's very happy in his work.
JD is described as overweight, sweaty and nervous - "Most people think his anxious disposition is due to the amount of time he spends around all that bare flesh at the club... And they'd be correct.
"He spends his time imagining, lusting after, and craving every perverted scenario conceivable, but he’s never actually carried one out for himself. In truth, he’s never even touched one of his girls!" Aw, bless.
Word is that JD has more than a few interests outside the girls and the Sindacco family, however - and eventually, someone is going to notice.
So there you have it - just some of the crazy new characters we'll get to meet in the first GTA game for PSP. Sounds like it's going to be a goodun...