I'm going to try and write this news story without a single childish, puerile reference to "multiplayer gang-banging", a phrase which I believe our American brethren take to mean something entirely different to what it means among sniggering, smutty types up and down the land here in the British Isles. It's going to be hard. Wish me luck.
After all manner of reports about technical problems with the multiplayer mode in its next-generation GTA-'em-up title Saints Row, developer Volition has reassured fans that it's hard at work on a patch which will have them popping caps in recalcitrant asses all over Xbox Live in no time.
The patch, whose existence was revealed in a post on the studio's own website, will fix a number of single and multiplayer game issues, with the chief improvements to the multiplayer aspects being better network latency, fixing connection ratings so that more large-party games are possible, and sorting out the matchmaking system to get people into games faster.
"At this time, we have no ETA on when the update will be available," the post reads. "We want it to be available soon, but we also want to make sure it addresses as many issues as possible."
There you go! Didn't I do well! No? Oh.