Sam Fisher in... Pin the caption on the screenshot! News
Xbox News by Tom Bramwell
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory is a very pretty game. We know that. We saw it in May. And said it was pretty. Evidently we didn't use enough phrases like "material reflections" and "normal mapping" for Ubisoft's liking though, because the French publisher's UK reps decided to issue a bunch of Xbox screenshots this week complete with readymade captions for us to draw inspiration from. Insult! Dishonour!
We're just messing around of course, Ubifolks. You know we love you really. Not in a physical sense, obviously, but more in the way you'd love, I dunno, the postman. Or a hammer. Both are useful in the right circumstances, but with the power to hurt you through misdirection. Anyway, we like the captions. And we like the screenshots. What we're not entirely happy with is that we're having serious difficulty working out which caption corresponds to which screenshot!
So, for a bit of fun, we're going to leave it up to you to figure out. We reckon the second description refers to this shot, but the others could be any. Figure it out before Ubi demands we yank the news item and, well, you won't win anything, but you'll be our best readers ever. Screenshots are located here, or you can click these five individual links: A, B, C, D, E. Go.
Description 1: "Incredibly detailed work has gone into textures and lighting for this paved floor, the depth perception alone is very impressive."
Description 2: "Take note of the candle light reflection on the glass, and the detailed facial expression of the NPC."
Description 3: "All shadows are very smooth and give real authenticity to the environment in this spectacular display of light and shadow projection."
Description 4: "Volumetric water steam with real time light reflection."
Description 5: "Another impressive floor texturing, with normal mapping effects and detailed background."
(With apologies to Ubisoft's UK PR department, to all of whom we wish a very Merry Christmas.)
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Comments: 1-19 of 19 in total
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Groovicron
22/12/04 @ 16:47
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Nah making our own captions would be much more fun.
For D "With Steve in the middle of washing the floor Sam had to take a more difficult path to the fridge". |
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Hurleybird
22/12/04 @ 16:53
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E is clearly 5 look at the depth perception (depth of focus) on the tiles. They are blurred further away.
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Hurleybird
22/12/04 @ 16:59
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By the way, seeing as it's Christmas and all - I'd happily take any version of Splinter Cell for Xbox as a generous gift of good will for being your biggest fan! :-)
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Donglebomb
22/12/04 @ 18:26
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Here we go then, match the alternative captions to the pictures...
1) Faced with the choice of taking out the heavily-armed special agent or grabbing that lovely hat of Simon's he'd always fancied, Gerald was racked with indecision. 2) Dave the underpaid janitor wished Sam could just use the normal toilet like everyone else. 3) As another enraged punter got out of the car to take out his frustrations on the knackered drive-thru microphone, shift leader Brian saw an opportunity to secure sufficient raw material for another 50 or so Zinger Burgers. 4) Jarvis: "Oh God! Strapping action men in skin-tight catsuits penetrating my inner sanctum? That's the last thing I wanted to happen..." 5) As he propelled himself out of harm's way on a cloud of hissing steam, Sam offered silent thanks to Kwik Save and their family size chicken curry. |
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A)"Out of my way or I swear - I will bum you into next week!". New non-violent, disabling moves.
B) More control than ever over bodily functions - hold on until just the right minute... C) For the first time ever - guards have random sexuality! D) More distracting objects than ever - guards that don't like stones can be distracted by condoms. E) New multiplayer modes include "Grandmother's footsteps" League of Gentlemen Style. |
Comments: 1-19 of 19 in total
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