A Metal Gear film from Uwe Boll?

By Ellie Gibson Published 17 August, 2005

No? Nooooooooooo!

Oh, dear. Not content with banging out big screen adaptations of BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege, Far Cry and Fear Effect, to name but a few, Dr Uwe Boll (no more of an actual Dr than Neil Fox, we suspect) has now expressed an interest in bringing us a Metal Gear Solid movie.

In an interview with film website Insomniac Mania, Boll said that the latest games to catch his eye are "Postal and Metal Gear." As we reported previously Boll has already acquired the rights to produce a game based on Running With Scissors' appalling FPS, but this is the first we've heard of Boll's interest in doing an MGS movie.

Fortunately, we can't imagine it happening, as Hideo Kojima's always been very protective of the idea. And we do mean fortunately. Some of us have seen House of the Dead.

Course, he'll want to get Dungeon Siege out of the way first - starring Leelee Sobieski, Ron Perlman and Jason Statham, the film is due out next year and according to Boll we can expect "rough brutal battles combined with martial arts action. The kind that is in HERO."

Insomniac Mania was sure to ask Boll the questions on everyone's lips, namely: "Will we see any hot women in metal underwear? ", "Will we see scantily clad women with swords?" and "Will Burt Reynolds have a moustache?"

(Answers, if you're interested: "Kristana Loken and Leelee Sobieski are warriors," "A few" and "A full grey beard.")

He also hinted that there could be a new Dungeon Siege game based on the film - "We're working on it," apparently. And as for those of you who might just have a tiny inkling that the movie's going to be an absolute stinker, Boll simply says: "Wait and see." Will do.

You can read the full interview on the Insomniac Mania website.

Picture of Ellie.

About Ellie Gibson

Since joining Eurogamer in the mid 2000s, Ellie has written about subjects as diverse as the fall of Gizmondo, the rise of Hollyoaks actresses in Red Alert games and the noise a bear makes under NSFW circumstances.

Read more articles from Ellie by visiting the Ellie Gibson archive page.

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Comments (31) Latest comment 7 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • technos #1 7 years ago

    Why report this? It's not going to happen

  • Kiigan #2 7 years ago

    I can see it now - let's get Kurt Russell to play Snake (again) - awesome!

    I love the way Uwe Boll lists Postal alongside Metal Gear. This is a man who obviously loves games.
    Edited by 1 at 17/08/05 @ 15:28

  • tengu #3 7 years ago

    Kojima would put a knife to his belly before allowing such a thing.

  • deaner #4 7 years ago

    No chance he'll get it.

    But Kurt Russell playing Snake is quite likely.

    Kojima loves the man!

  • smelliot #5 7 years ago

    I want to watch House fo the Dead just to see how hilariously bad it is.

  • tengu #6 7 years ago

    Fans of Smallville's Lois Lane should see HotD at least once though ;)

  • #7 7 years ago

    "The kind that is in HERO."

    How dares he!

  • RandolphScott #8 7 years ago

    "Why report this? It's not going to happen"

    Yeah no more funny stories EG. Just the facts.

  • Dizzy #9 7 years ago

    Can't be any worse than the actual in game movies....

  • TS2610 #10 7 years ago

    Oh Dizzy, you're such a card!

  • deaner #11 7 years ago

    What's wrong with being entertaining?

    I for one like it when EG does these kinds of reports.

    Dominik Diamond style!

  • Wobble #12 7 years ago

    why do people in hollywood keep letting that no-talent assclown make movies?

    grrrr.

  • Bezzy #13 7 years ago

    I heard the Postal + Bolle thing was a hoax.

    But what a hoax! It's a case where two wrongs make a right.

  • Bezzy #14 7 years ago

    "why do people in hollywood keep letting that no-talent assclown make movies? "

    They don't. Bolle uses what most people in HollyWood call "Stupid German Money":

    h ttp://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,,945768,00.html

    "Hollywood is suffering its own cash crisis but it’s nothing compared to Germany’s financial woes. However, things could get a lot worse for the film industry in Los Angeles if what the big wigs in La La Land call "stupid German money" stops flowing in from the other side of the Atlantic.

    The considerable investment Germany has provided over many years has long been a thorn in the side of Berlin’s finance ministry, yet, under current rules, those who choose to invest in Hollywood productions can write off 100 percent or more in initial losses against tax, making investment in the movies an attractive option for thousands of private investors looking for a home for their money. Germans invest about €2 billion in media funds per year, with about 70 percent of that going to projects in the United States."



    Edited by 1 at 17/08/05 @ 17:12

  • ecureuil #15 7 years ago

    It would never happen. Kojima is a big movie fan, he wouldn't let any old person, especially not Uwe Boll direct a Metal Gear movie.

  • Bezzy #16 7 years ago

    Or maybe it's out of his hands?

    Or maybe he's really not a great movie fan?

    Maybe he's a bad movie fan?

    Just JIZZIN YA.

  • geepersd #17 7 years ago

    you can't even watch House of the Dead for the hilarity as it is beyond any from of so bad it's good imaginable - 90 minutes of stunned disbelief and random pixelated images from a computer game thrown in for good measure...

    It is scary how Uwe seems to get some decent on paper ensemble cast together for his films though

  • linksdad #18 7 years ago

    Interesting!
    There'll be slightly less gameplay than in the games, but it'll save having to pick up the joypad every now and again.

  • Teeth #19 7 years ago

    I like that caption. It's like getting Snake's mission controller person to play the part of Darth Vader.

  • kgthatsme #20 7 years ago

    Kurt Russel's too old and uncool nowerdays, Hugh Jackman would be more likely i reckon.

  • ekko #21 7 years ago

    I can't get <a href=http://www.uweboll.com/&g t;www.uweboll.com</a> to open. :(
    Edited by 1 at 17/08/05 @ 19:51

  • crashVoodoo #22 7 years ago

    surely thats a good thing ?

  • captain-future #23 7 years ago

    so Kojima convinced them to put the "demo theater" in cinemas *LOL*

    Kurt Russel would've been great yet he's too old.

  • Freek #24 7 years ago

    If Harrison Ford can do another Indiana Jones movie then Kurt Russel can damn sure do Metal Gear, he can just do his Snake Pliskin act again, since Solid is basicly based on him anyway.
    Ofcourse not directed by Boll.
    Edited by 1 at 17/08/05 @ 20:15

  • Sampom #25 7 years ago

    According to Boll we can expect "rough brutal battles combined with martial arts action. The kind that is in HERO."

    Was DS anything like HERO... i look forward to see the hero fly around and walk on the end of a leaf doing a 1080 while cutting the bad guy's head...

    This guy is so stupid... I bet he is just full of cash and as never plated a f*c*i*g game in he's life...

    Who else in this world could actually do a movie based on a game with no actual story...

  • smelliot #26 7 years ago

    Instead of "No? NOOOOOOOO..." this story's subtitle should be "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

  • sheksh #27 7 years ago

    Kojima is a film conneseur (sp?) and I doubt he'll let Boll here ruin his masterpiece. And as for the lead actor, I think Hayter should since we're all familiar with his voice. He just needs a bad shave and a mullet.

  • Vulpes #28 7 years ago

    I hope he does make a Metal Gear movie. It's a small price to pay, really, considering that it will doubtless cause some crazy Japanese guy to hunt down Mr. Boll and do bloody murder upon him, ridding us of his evil once and for all.

  • PES_Fanboy #29 7 years ago

    I'm sorry? If Kojima really IS a huge movie fan, why is the voice acting in his films so appalling?

    Was I the only one to semi-enjoy the premise of Postal 2? The way you could go through the game WITHOUT pissing on anyone or setting them on fire, just doing your chores was an interesting concept, even if it was badly implemented....

  • davyuk #30 7 years ago

    I'm sorry? If Kojima really IS a huge movie fan, why is the voice acting in his films so appalling?

    I believe the original Japanese voice acting is far better than the localised versions.

  • deaner #31 7 years ago

    I doubt an English speaking videogame director couldn't direct Japanese dialogue half as well as Kojima directs his English speaking voice actors.

    The man is a bit of a movie buff. He's mentioned it in a couple of interviews, along with naming Snake Pliskin (Escape From New York) as the character basis for Snake in his games, as well as saying that MGS is based on The Great Escape. It seems daft, but I think it had something to do with the hero having to avoid detection and escaping without a fight.