Uwe Boll going Postal
The world's worst movie could be on the cards.
Legendary German director Uwe Boll is in the running to pick up the movie rights to Running With Scissors' equally legendary PC first-person shooter title Postal, according to a report on movie website Dark Horizons.
By "legendary", of course, we mean "rubbish" - and you can also safely assume that by "director" we mean "talentless mentalist". You could probably also swap out "PC first-person shooter" for "experience on a par with driving nails through your own soft body parts", if you're really keen on the truth.
Boll's special hobby is torturing game fans, with a portfolio of previous work including House of the Dead, which I thought was the worst horror film that could ever possibly be made when I watched it, and Alone in the Dark, which proved me wrong. He's also just finished filming a BloodRayne movie and is gearing up to thrust his creative talent into the quivering flesh of the Dungeon Siege franchise. Be afraid.
Postal, though, we can honestly say we don't care about, since it's just as rubbish and pointless as any of Boll's films. He's welcome to it, as long as we're not forced to watch the result of his particularly grotesque union. However, the deal isn't sealed yet - Running With Scissors boss Vince Desi claims that there's interest in the franchise from multiple movie makers, believe it or not, with Boll's production company, Boll KG, being only one of the bidders.
Postal isn't the only game being hawked around to movie companies at the moment, of course. Microsoft recently made headlines by attaching an immense set of demands to the Halo script (penned by Brit scribe Alex Garland for a cool million dollars) which it delivered to Hollywood studios last week; and Pulp Fiction co-writer Roger Avary is currently working on a movie based on Konami's twisted horror series Silent Hill. Neither movie is expected to be directed by Uwe Boll, you'll be pleased to hear.