FBI, Secret Service to track America's Army cheaters

By Tom Bramwell Published 13 January, 2005

"The Army is angry, and we're coming for you."

America's Army executive producer Phil DeLuca has issued a hilariously thuggish warning to players of the US Army's action game / recruitment tool on the game's official forum this week. In a post seemingly removed after the attention it drew, DeLuca threatened that cheaters and those tampering with the game were "misusing Army property" and guilty of "cyber crime", before appearing to liken players guilty of such crimes to those in Japan who decided to bomb Pearl Harbour in the 1940s. The missive went on to threaten that the Department of Justice, the Secret Service and even the FBI could be involved in tracking people down, and concluded in cringeworthy fashion by declaring, "The Army is angry, and we're coming for you."

It is, frankly, extraordinary. Which is why we've decided to post the full text here for you to soak up. Is cheating really this bad? Or are we just living in a very bad comedy?

"Some of you (and clearly the bad guys are among them) don't always remember that this game, and all accounts and derivative products, are the property of the United States Army. When you tamper with the game, not only are you breaking the EULA you're misusing Army property - and, worse, you're misusing US Army computer programs and equipment.

"Tampering with software and servers owned or used by the Army is cyber crime.

"In the early 1940's, Japan learned an important lesson - "let the sleeping giant lie." We may not react swiftly, but when we do it's with unstoppable force. The Army has partners that deal with cyber crime as a matter of course. These include not just various Army IT departments, but also the Department of Justice, the Secret Service, and the Federal Bureau of Investigations.

"It's going to get uncomfortable for some of the bad guys, but you know what? They brought it on themselves. Knowing this anyone who continues to be bad is just plain foolish. Keep trying, though. Sooner or later the bad guy will realize we've known about him for a while... and by then it's too late.

"Allow me to speak directly to the bad guys for a moment: When you get banned, know that we know and have records showing you were doing something that's a violation of terms of service, breaks your EULA, and also happens to be against the law. We know who you are, and can track down where you play from. We have incontrovertible proof you did something illegal. The Army is angry, and we're coming for you."

Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (46) Latest comment 7 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Eldritch #1 7 years ago

    Excellent! This is even better than Prince Harry's party gear!

  • ChrisOTR #2 7 years ago

    It's the last sentence that makes it.

  • Eldritch #3 7 years ago

    Home of the Brave, Land of the... erm...

  • UncleLou #4 7 years ago

    How to make a complete fool of yourself in just 5 paragraphs, part1.

  • dadrester #5 7 years ago

    good job they're spending their time, money and effort on something useful to the world...

  • Eldritch #6 7 years ago

    I like his "Don't mess with Texas" attitude. He should run for Gouvernor. He should become the next Duke Nukem!

  • Eldritch #7 7 years ago

    "I'm sure somebody must've cheated away those damn weapons of mass destruction in Iran or whatever that desert is called over there! Damn you all!"

  • archonsod #8 7 years ago

    Yeah? my login is Osama and I have some WMD's on my hard drive somewhere.

    Or are all the cheaters in Iran?

  • Teeth #9 7 years ago

    Reminds me of the Administrator of City 17.

    "Allow me to speak directly to Mr. Bad Guy myself for a moment. Yes, Dr. Cheat, I'm talking to you. Do you realise how much firepower we've got trained on your house right now? I honestly think you wouldn't believe it if you knew. I'm surprised at you - how could you be so ignorant? Surely you realise the power we now hold? We're the Army."

  • bionutz #10 7 years ago

    EldritchHe should become the next Duke Nukem!.
    LOL!!!

  • hula hoops #11 7 years ago

    Doesn't it mean that if someone talk/write something like this on the internet, they do not actually have the capability to carry out the threat. Come on, this tough talk is only to scare people away. If they really can track anyone on the net, why not track those people who uploaded the beheading videos?

  • Eldritch #12 7 years ago

    Reminds me of Slim Pickens ridin' "da bomb".

  • Royal Fool #13 7 years ago

    This is silly, but the true idiots are the ones that are genuinely intimidated by it. :)

  • Eldritch #14 7 years ago

    So, if you ever get bored, login as GayOsama and cheat the pants off good ol' Phil. He'll find you.

    Alternatively, if you want put any CyberCafé out of business (and remove the building it's located in permanently) do the above mentioned thing from one of their PC's. For better results just keep posting "There never were any WMD's in Iraq!" or "Michael Moore for Prez".

  • Shinji #15 7 years ago

    Wow, they're pretty serious obviously. I mean, in the previous example of someone pissing them off that the guy cites, they nuked two civilian-filled cities and firebombed others - imagine what they'll do to aimbot users!

    And wallhackers? Camp X-Ray, buddy. The hint is in the name!

  • Eldritch #16 7 years ago

    They're making some room in Guantanamo, mate. Hope you like orange.

  • mattigan #17 7 years ago

    "Home of the Brave, Land of the... erm... "

    I think the word you are looking for is Twat!!

  • Eldritch #18 7 years ago

    Actually, "beef" comes to my mind a lot more spontaneously.

  • Eldritch #19 7 years ago

    The Japanese cheated at Pearl Harbor, because they didn't call first.

  • gizmo #20 7 years ago

    Base campers

  • phAge #21 7 years ago

    Is it in fact not possible to punish cheaters (by some legal paragraph - not firing squad at dawn...) - or has everyone been blinded by the rather unelegant wording and style of this threat?

    We all know that the U.S government is definitely not above flexing its legal muscle when its interests are being threatened - any reason why these threats should not be taken seriously?

  • fellowbunnybaiter #22 7 years ago

    US army...jokers....

    They need hunting down.

  • rev9of8 #23 7 years ago

    Is this what they mean by 'winning hearts and minds'?

  • El_MUERkO #24 7 years ago

    bahahahaha

    On a side note i really like the game mechanics of AA:o but most of the maps suck nuts by creating bottlenecks that remove any use of tactics.

  • Eldritch #25 7 years ago

    "remove any use of tactics"

    Did they have any in Falludja?

  • cloudaaa #26 7 years ago

    some very clever PR work from the US Army

    wonder how many more they will sell now

  • Eldritch #27 7 years ago

    AA's for free.

  • Pina Verified Producer, Seed Studios, Lda. #28 7 years ago

    :p

  • countlippe #29 7 years ago

    They need some one like this for Battlefield 1942

    /parks jeep next to hanger

  • mustardkid #30 7 years ago

    presumably thats meant to be read in a jessie ventura voice..

  • Freek #31 7 years ago

    Well, obviously the Japanese were using wallhacks and speed cheats, would have never succeeded otherwise.

  • Dragul #32 7 years ago

    Americans... there so dumb... I can't believe this... so, there going to nuke somebodys house if you cheat?! nice PR stunt, and I bet the japanese players loved the cheating=pearl harbor... thats (in cartman's imortal words) sweet!

    Home of the brave and land of the dumbass

  • bdaggers #33 7 years ago

    This must be a piss take - surely ??????

  • The-Bodybuilder #34 7 years ago

    "Come on, this tough talk is only to scare people away"

    It sure didn't work in falludjah.

    And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't thier a lot of games piracy in n.korea?

  • Pirotic #35 7 years ago

    the FBI are having problems tracking them so far, as they all speak using heavy encryption which they've yet to crack, for example

    TH15 GAYM3 SUXXORS, UT24k 4EVA"!!!
    Edited by 1 at 13/01/05 @ 18:16

  • Nillsens #36 7 years ago

    Maybe he is insinuating that cheating is just as bad as Ben Afflecks' acting somehow?

    What a patriotic pot of poo stew that was...

  • Pirotic #37 7 years ago

    Has anybody made the mod yet which lets you do naked pyramids :D

  • Dragul #38 7 years ago

    My question is: What type of hack did the US army use in Iraq? WMD-UOI* perhaps?!

    *Weapons Of Mass Destruction - Use Only On Idiots

  • phAge #39 7 years ago

    Unknown:

    "Reports are emerging that similar arrests of both juveniles and adults have been made internationally, with the assistance of local authorities in Germany and South Korea, and that computer equipment has also been seized".

    A clear demonstration that "US laws do NOT apply outside the US...".

    *Ahem*

  • 3william56 #40 7 years ago

    It's got to have been a hack. No, really, even an American involved with something as right wing lame as AA could actually come out with such a load of WWE toss.

    Funny as hell though.

  • Khanivor #41 7 years ago

    He he, what a dick.

    Talk about delusions of grandeur.

  • w00t #42 7 years ago

    You can tell he's being working with the Army too long.

    He's picked up the US Army o-so-flipping-technical term of 'bad guys'...

  • DeepBlue #43 7 years ago

    Maybe you forget that "cheating" is not necessarily a "cyber crime".
    A "cyber crime" means you've broken the law which does not have to be the case when you "cheat".
    Besides, how are they going to prove you were "cheating"?
    A log file? A database entry? A screenshot? Players as witnesses? An administrator? A notary?

    The amount of players who got untruly punished for "cheating" by programs is much too high and therefore makes anti-cheating tools not valid to be used for evidences.
    Fact is, they won't be accepted at courts and fact is, there is no way to prove that "cheating" caused damage and thus cannot be bound to a punishment.

    The only proof can be an obvious modification of game files which has to be explicitly forbidden in a contract which has been digitally signed (that creates another problem with the law).
    To prove such a modification requires the "cheater's" hard disk and an irrefutable proof by the police.
    Now what happens if a "cheat" does not modify files or restores modified files with the original ones on closing? A lot of cheats replace DirextX drivers or other external files. Others access the game without changing files like accessing the memory of a running game.

    Besides, the game files are not constant and inevitably modified while playing the game (like log-files) or installing an update.
    Furthermore, it has to be proved that the modification was done cognisably by the accused. It has to be excluded that malevolent software like viruses have done this modification without the accused's awareness.

    Even in the case it has been irrefutable proven by the prosecutor that a person has commited a "cyber crime", there are further factors which influence the judgement like damage of the crime and age of the convict.
    Would it be wise to arrest a youngster of a negligible crime or let the parents pay a lot of money although they don't know anything about the world their child is living in and thus cannot be held responsible?


    I hope I've made myself clear that trying to punish "cheaters" using the law is not worth the effort.
    That's why the threats in the article are pointless and only meant to scare players to prevent them from "cheating".

  • Madder-Max #44 7 years ago

    Do the army train leopards as well then?


    /only just dodges bushel

  • WoodenSpoon #45 7 years ago

    You pirated a free game?

    Gotta love that determination!

  • BravoGolf #46 7 years ago

    Oh please.