BloodRayne film officially sucks Comments by Ellie Gibson

I bet he has another film out this year.... He's the reincarnation of ed wood jnr.

Why do people keep using him?

I've no idea.. If you learnt his secret you could sell oil to the arabs.

He must be making money somehow. Otherwise, he'd be out of business.

Why do people keep using him?

Cheap to hire and willing to work on obviously bollocks projects?

"boldly gratuitous nudity, and laugh-out-loud hairpieces"

Combine the two for big laughs!

Hostel is out? Sweet, thanks for the heads up EG.

shocking, why do people tarnish the name of their games using this guy

He's a complete hack with nothing but critical and commercial failures under his belt, yet people keep using him. Maybe I should go into film making.

Please, someone with common sense don't let him near MGS.

I don't get it. Ben Kingsley and Christian Slater are household names, I bet they didn't come too cheap. Why didn't their publicists warn them about Uwe Boll? And still he's got funding for Dungeon Siege, Postal and Far Cry?

BILLY ZANE

I suppose the agents argue that nobody is going to see the film, so why not take the cheque and run?

Wait, doesn't this mean Boll's funding is about to dry out?

edit: Anyway, this article says it all.

Surely there must be some young, good directors that would jump at the chance to make a film that would get into cinemas and do a hell of a lot better than Boll in order to prove themselves... Give them the money and resources, not this twat. He must be raking the cash in off these fools that keep paying him to bury their IP.

"I don't get it. Ben Kingsley and Christian Slater..."


'Thunderbirds' and 'Churchill: The Hollywood Years' respectively.

Surely Hideo Kojima knows about this guy and wouldn't give out his most prized franchise to be dragged through the dirt... or maybe its one of those situations where he has no control over movie rights, I'm not sure.

It's all about exploiting the tax system that's where he keeps getting the money, even with all the flops.

Although the germans are closing their tax loophole, there are other countries where it still exists.

Boll gets seat on film.
People hype film up as the one where he hits the target.
Boll misses the target, the targets surround and the wall they're hung on.
Everybody says they knew Boll would do this.
Things go quiet.
Boll gets seat on film
....repeat ad nauseum......

Am I the only one who wonders who keeps throwing money at this painful loop ??

If they let this twat anywhere near MGS, I am going on a personal crusade to wring the life out of him before he can start.

Did anyone see the .NFO for the warez release of Bloodrayne?

Ahem:

So with that enjoy this movie from hollywoods
numero uno hack director uwe boll. We're proud to
pirate this peice of shit to save you people from
being ripped out of ur hard earned money. Note to
hollywood cuz we know u track these. Seriously stop
financing crap like this. The money you save will
enable bob the carpenter and the teamsters to stay
in work for at least another year. Piracy doesnt hurt you
SHIT fucking waste of money movies like this do.

Even the warez monkeys have had enough!

@Markus:

That's my point exactly. The guy got an Oscar nomination just two years ago for "House of Sand and Fog" and now he's reduced to this? His publicist/agent isn't doing their job properly.

I saw Alone in the Dark over xmas and that was so bad. It remided me of those very cheap straight to video films that you got from the video man who came round in his van in the 80's

I would so love to get into movies or even TV productions. I reckon this fella gives me hope for that one day. Cos if he can do it so can I!!

Funny enough this is what I was ranting about on a thread before xmas except it was stop making crap games.

"Did anyone see the .NFO for the warez release of Bloodrayne?

Ahem:

So with that enjoy this movie from hollywoods
numero uno hack director uwe boll. We're proud to
pirate this peice of shit to save you people from
being ripped out of ur hard earned money. Note to
hollywood cuz we know u track these. Seriously stop
financing crap like this. The money you save will
enable bob the carpenter and the teamsters to stay
in work for at least another year. Piracy doesnt hurt you
SHIT fucking waste of money movies like this do.

Even the warez monkeys have had enough!"

Would it be apt for him to do "Springtime for Hitler"? ;)

Ah Uwe Boll... the only thing that everyone on the Eurogamer forums can agree on :-)

Ha ha! Uwe Boll has no shame! I read about the tax loopholes in Germany too. Apparently he can still make money from a flop. It really is like The Producers! At least if more videogame film adaptations come out in the future which aren't directed by Mr. Boll, people maybe more inclined to take them more seiously.

Fear Effect (2008) (announced)
Postal (2007) (announced)
Far Cry (2006) (announced)
Hunter: The Reckoning (2007) (pre-production)
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2006) (post-production)
BloodRayne (2005)
Alone in the Dark (2005)
House of the Dead (2003)

Methodically, one by one, destroying videogame franchises. Astonishing. Saddening.


edit: not that I care for Postal. It was such a shit game that his film may actually be an improvement!

"I suppose the agents argue that nobody is going to see the film, so why not take the cheque and run?"

Heh. Uwe Boll's output as the filmic equivalent of doing adverts in Japan. :)

you can tell i have joined this thread late.

House of Sand and Fog was a very good film. That is the one with ben kingsley in it? I did not realise that it was directed by uwe.

His other films (i watch them just to see how bad they are) have nowhere near the subtley, the tension, the drama. It painted deep characters on a collage of human emotion and self delusion. (i also wanted to be a pretensios critic)

So seeing as he is good at drama why did he make the other rubbish?? Its like woody allen doing the next Alien film - "in space no one can here you complain about everything."


***err, i read praetorian post wrong but i will leave my post in for a laugh. I checked with IMDB. HoSaF was directed by first time director Vadim Perelman. A sign of true talent that this film was his first and he is from Kiev.***

I think you may have joined the planet too late!
In absolutely no way was Boll responsible for The House of Sand and Fog!!!

For fun: Petition

" boldly gratuitous nudity"

Count me in :D

You should listen to your friend Billy Zane. He's a cool dude.

Here's an interview with the man that was done yesterday. Despite making terrible movies he seems like an alright guy.

http://www.g4tv.com/attackoftheshow/blog/AOTB/post/544411/Uw
e_Boll.html#comments

Boll is litterally out of the Producers. He makes movies that flop in order to take advantage of a ludicrous tax loophole. The people who invest in his movies are the kind that you would expect to leave a horses head in your bed if you cross them.

In short, he isn't out to make good movies, he is out to make tax breaks for his investors and a few million into the bargain for himself.

The only mystery here is how the German and American governments have let it go on for so long without any arrests!?!

somewhere, i admire this guy. he must be a dreamer will enormous balls...

Dream situation:

The moon drops briefly out of orbit and squishes Jack Thompson and Uwe Boll as they mee to dicuss 'Jack Thompson: Greater than God!'

i don't understand, how on earth by having his movies flop do they make money?

i honestly aint got a clue how that works and the links provided don't explain it to me with glove puppets.

Name-dropping an Eli Roth movie and Bloody Disgusting = Eurogamer is awesome.

Hostel is'nt out here until March though, what a crime.

Basically if the movie don't make back the money they took to produce the German government repays what was lost. Then there are dvd sales on top of that. Mainly in Poland and America most likely. They'll buy any old crap.

Imagine, beeing locked inside a cinema room for 150 minits, having to watch another uwe film. Cant think of a worse fate. i wouldnt even wish that to me worst enemies. 0_o

Well, as long as he is banned from touching halo, its fine by me.

Name-dropping an Eli Roth movie and Bloody Disgusting = Eurogamer is awesome.

Cabin Fever = one of the worst horror films ever made. Hostel = unlikely to be much better.

@absolutezero: "Basically if the movie don't make back the money they took to produce the German government repays what was lost. Then there are dvd sales on top of that. Mainly in Poland and America most likely. They'll buy any old crap.'

I believe you overestimate the local demand for over-the-top crap movies - unless you have some data to back it up?

"Put a cork in it, Zane!!!"

is that german tax law left over from the war when they made propaganda films and as the war went on less people paid to see them because they were either fighting in russia, drinking wine in france or being gassed in poland.

Those crazy germans!! 3 million unemployed and they still have the money to help uwe pollute our minds. I will have to see if there is any national socialist messages in his movies, perhaps thats thier purpose.

'Churchill: The Hollywood Years'

Oi. None of that, y'hear? Let's not bring decent-enough british comedies into the same topic as... well... HIM...

Surely there are enough video game franchises that nobody cares about for Uwe Boll to never have to make films based on the likes of Metal Gear Solid.

Or if he must make movies of much loved games franchises let him do so based on those that would make no sense as a film (as you'll see soon my ideas are mostly Nintendo titles) in order to see what he makes of them. For instance...

Advance Wars: Cinema Wars.
Mario Kart The Movie (featuring some low rent Tom Cruise wanabe as Mario the greatest Mario Kart racer ever - despite Toad obviously being the best - who has a crisis of confidence until he meets female Mario Kart racer Peach who inspires him to reclaim his title).
WarioWare: Projected.
When Nintendogs Attack.

As a sidenote it's interesting that all the best ideas I could think of there came from my DS game collection. Have to say if he did tackle some of these it would make for interesting cinema.

Cabin Fever = one of the worst horror films ever made. Hostel = unlikely to be much better.

Which is also exactly the reason why all the positive comments I've read on Hostel are 50% praise and 50% total surprise.

found these two links which are very interesting.

http://www.slate.com/id/2130781
http://www.slate.com/id/2117309

explain the whole tax loophole thing.

the bit about lord of the rings is most suprising!

"3 million unemployed"

That's 4.5 million, mate.

This is one reason why I hate Planet Earth.