Are you a lady who's long dreamed of looking like a Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball lovely? Or perhaps, more likely, you're a man who's long dreamed of his girlfriend looking like a Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball lovely?
Well, here's your chance - DOAXBV bikinis are now available via Tecmo's online store.
There are four designs available - Amaterasu, Asterope, Lamina and Cepheus - and they're on sale at the, er, bargain price of $149.99 each, or just over £85.
According to the website, they've been "Specifically designed by Team Ninja and manufactured in Japan," don't you know. If you want one, you better get your order in now, since "these teeny-weeny bikinis will only be available for a limited time!"
Why not pick one up for the lady in your life, providing you've got £85 to spare and she's not easily offended of course. You could always tell her it was a belated gift for International Women's Day, which was yesterday, by the way, not that some of us would ever know since we didn't receive A SINGLE CARD OR PRESENT.