MS explains "theGAYERgamer" name ban Comments by Robert Purchese

That's why messiahtj loves it there! :)

"Let us not make this a bigger issue than it really is, a naming violation on a video game console. I've heard of far more obscure names being banned, are you gonna campaign for them too, or is it only the minorities you get your knickers in a twist over?

So please, step down from your soap box and save it for when it's necessary."

Very well said.

"So please, step down from your soap box and save it for when it's necessary."

So you ask him to get off his soap box, while you get on your own?? I'm sorry, but DanW's comment was spot on.

@login_name

Oh, just come out of that closet already. We won't ban you here - we're reasonable, not at all puritanical, nor do we harbour any homophobic tendencies or allow homophobic people to enforce the rules;)

login_name-
"Let us not make this a bigger issue than it really is, a naming violation on a video game console".
Many of us have already pointed out that the name is not sexual so in truth has not broken microsoft rules. The problem we are facing is that of the idiots on live who would have reported this person because they don't like gays or parents who are being over reactionary to presence of the word gay and associating it with gay sex. Dan has already been through why this is and why hetero sexual people would probably not recieve the same treatment from their fellow players.
"So please, step down from your soap box and save it for when it's necessary."
If he cant comment on issues regarding homosexuality on this thread where can he?
I think the point many of us are making is this a symptom of a much bigger problem and no. we probably wont solve it on this comments thread, but at least one person has had their mind opened a little bit. So lets not shout people down for having a discussiion.

It's a surprise no-one's complained about my Gamertag yet.
I kind of regret letting my mate name me on Live, but I certainly aint fooking paying to change it.
It's the same as my Eurogamer name BTW.

Alright, I was asked by a couple of people to contribute something a little more meaningful to the topic. I've read SOME of the posts here but got tired. Anyway, I have one for you. I previously said that naming your gamertag in such a way is bound to attract trouble and the guy in question was asking for it. I don't regret making that comment and I'm going to argue my point with a Phoenix Wright-esque animation.

If you are gay, and a gamer, then I have no problem with you. I'm not homophobic or anything. But if you advertise your sexual orientation like that, you are obviously going to have to deal with assholes online. Why put yourself through the trouble? Cos you're "proud"? Don't be ridiculous. I'd rather have peace and quiet and a fun time on Live than have my pride attacked.

It's the same if my gamertag was something with a religious faith or race put it. Let's say I'm Jewish and my gamertag reflects that. I don't NEED to tell people I'm Jewish. Not because I'm scared or have no pride. I just don't want people insulting me on Live! It's for your own good not to cause trouble for yourself. Therefore, the guy was an idiot and brought it on himself. The insulters are also to blame for being assholes in the first place, don't get me wrong, but I hope some of you see my point.

This should never have been banned. Personally I don't particularly want to see references to sexuality, gay, straight or otherwise, in gamertags, not because I'm insulted but because I'm just not interested. Similarly I don't want to see references to sports, race or religion; when I'm playing a game online, this stuff is not important.

People who feel their sexuality is their most defining characteristic are just the same as people who feel that their cars or their football team or their clothing labels are their most defining characteristics, in my opinion - very boring people, who if they were fictional characters critics would describe as "not fully rounded characters". (insert stock YMMV disclaimer here). I try to only talk about my passions when I know the other person wants to hear about it.

@ the "Don't want to explain to my children" crowd.

That is irresponsible parenting. Homosexuality is part of society. If you don't feel like explaining to your child that people whose skins are different colours from yours are just the same in all other ways because you can't be bothered, you're no different.
Blaming the parents may be a cliche but there are people as irresponsible as that out there.


@ DanWhitehead

By and large, agreed and well said. I think we agree; however there's some stuff in one of your earlier posts that seems contradictory to your more eloquent later posts to me:

"Society totally defines gay people by their sexual orientation..."

How does one define gay other than with reference to sexual orientation? Unless you mean someone who supplies only this information, in which case what else do you have to go on?

"...yet for them to use their sexual orientation as an open part of their public persona somehow makes them the problem."

This is in my opinion just as problematic for people who use heterosexuality as an open part of their public persona. We call them 'sluts' or similar if they are female; due to sexism inherent in british culture, there's no universal male term that is as derogatoty, but some have suggested repurposing "stud" to do it. In both instances it's not nice behaviour. There seems to be a double standard at work if I am expected to celebrate gay and lesbian versions of this. Basically, I'm saying that sex-obsessed people who 'do their dirty laundry in public' do not deserve respect or celebration, irrespective of their preference of partner, because sex is and should remain a private matter.

"Because to gay people (or black people, or whatever) the difference does matter, and it matters every single day."

Plenty of people happen to be gay, in the midst of also being personally defined by their jobs, their class, their gender, their race, their interests, their family, their location and so on; to them, it only matters when they want it to. You'd never know they were gay unless they told you, just as you cannot know the skin colour of a person on the other end of a phone or the gender of an email's sender. Homosexuality may have been the target of hatred and discrimination for many years, but the point of liberalisation and tolerance is to allow the difference not to matter. To highlight difference is to invite others to consider it; consideration, especially in something that (relative to society) is so newly liberalised, leads inevitably to judgement, and not all of that will be favourable. While I fully believe everyone should be able to express their difference without being attacked for it, it's not really realistic to expect that to actually happen in the real world, especially not in a culture of conformity by peer pressure, as most human societies tend to be.

Just waiting for the Sony announcement saying that Grant and his username are welcome to join PSN with a complimentary console =P 300 dollars to rub some messed up PR in MS's face is a small price to pay.

Dan Whitehead is a champion!

I may not be a homosexual, but I do suffer from micro-penis syndrome and erectile dysfunction.

As a result I find the name “MicroSoft” incredibly insulting.

BAN THIS SICK FILTH

How does one define gay other than with reference to sexual orientation? Unless you mean someone who supplies only this information, in which case what else do you have to go on?

What I mean is that when someone chooses to supply that information (and, in doing so, risks a negative reaction) that person then becomes "a gay person". I'm talking in general terms, but a gay person in Britain today is still seen as a gay person first and foremost. That's the element of their person that sticks in the mind. If, like other estranged minority groups, a gay person then chooses to take pride in this element of themselves, to not try and hide it, that's a positive reaction to a negative stigma. I just think it's ludicrous that if someone says, quite calmly and simply, that they are gay that people still consider this to be "ramming it down their throat". Quite apart from the revealing use of imagery, it's an over-reaction caused by fear or unease in the other person, not by any flagrant exhibitionism on the part of the gay person.

This is in my opinion just as problematic for people who use heterosexuality as an open part of their public persona. We call them 'sluts' or similar if they are female; due to sexism inherent in british culture, there's no universal male term that is as derogatoty, but some have suggested repurposing "stud" to do it. In both instances it's not nice behaviour. There seems to be a double standard at work if I am expected to celebrate gay and lesbian versions of this. Basically, I'm saying that sex-obsessed people who 'do their dirty laundry in public' do not deserve respect or celebration, irrespective of their preference of partner, because sex is and should remain a private matter.

You're conflating "sexuality" with "sexual activity" again. Someone saying "I am gay" is not the same as a straight person sleeping around. Gay does not equal promiscuous, so the comparison doesn't hold. It goes back to what I said earlier about this inability to separate the act from the orientation. A person should be able to admit to liking their own gender without the immediate assumption being that they'll shag anyone. To bring it back to the subject at hand, if someone chooses to identify themselves as gay in their Gamertag, that is in no way an example of them being "sex obsessed" or doing their "dirty laundry" in public.

Plenty of people happen to be gay, in the midst of also being personally defined by their jobs, their class, their gender, their race, their interests, their family, their location and so on; to them, it only matters when they want it to. You'd never know they were gay unless they told you, just as you cannot know the skin colour of a person on the other end of a phone or the gender of an email's sender.

And plenty more people live in absolute terror that their sexual orientation will be discovered, and that they'll be subjected to verbal abuse or physical violence as a result. Outside of the more cosmopolitan urban areas, being openly gay in Britain - or the US, or anywhere - can still be a death sentence. The relative anonymity of Xbox Live may be a safe venue for someone to allow this part of themselves to be known, a pressure valve on something that's been secret for too long.

A person simply shouldn't have to feel that this element of their personality is one that should be hidden, but neither should it be the only thing that people focus on. That's not up to gay people to sort out, it's up to society as a whole to move past this silly phobia that has been embedded in our culture through fear and superstition. What we have here is a situation where a society dominated by heterosexual attitudes actively shuns homosexuals while at the same time saying it's up to them to figure out how to fit in. Yet when they say "OK, I'm gay. Now let's get on with business" the reaction is similar to what's seen in this thread - "Why are you telling me this? Stop ramming it down my throat!". It's projecting a deep-seated social prejudice onto the minority group affected, and that's outrageously unfair.

Homosexuality may have been the target of hatred and discrimination for many years, but the point of liberalisation and tolerance is to allow the difference not to matter. To highlight difference is to invite others to consider it; consideration, especially in something that (relative to society) is so newly liberalised, leads inevitably to judgement, and not all of that will be favourable. While I fully believe everyone should be able to express their difference without being attacked for it, it's not really realistic to expect that to actually happen in the real world, especially not in a culture of conformity by peer pressure, as most human societies tend to be.

I agree that this is the situation as it stands, but things won't change if it isn't challenged. It shouldn't be a big deal for someone to mention that they are gay, any more than it should be a big deal for anyone else to mention their wife or girlfriend. Nor is it reasonable to accuse gay people who choose to take pride in the thing that has made them different of "ramming that difference down our throats". They didn't choose for that aspect of their life to take on such distorted importance, and we - meaning society in general - need to get past our kneejerk reactions and stop treating the mere existence of homosexuality as some sort of sordid netherworld that shouldn't be discussed in public.

As I said before, it only stops being an issue when we stop making an issue out of it.

A very good point well made CosmicGypsy

I thought I was the only person out there who felt deeply insulted by the Microsoft brand name and its obvious disdain for those of us with inferior members.

Think we could start a class action lawsuit?

OGC

/End of thread

eh..., don't bash me too much, because, what do I know? Not much..., but I do think the gay community (and I know what I'm talking about... don't ask...), is a way too into that "proud" shit. They should try to see themselfs as a regular comunity, and not try to put a badge about their sexual preferences in everything they do (another thing imported from out friends yanks, me thinks...). It's a freaking gaming comunity, ffs..., leave penis, arses and vaginas out of it, is it that hard?

Dan, you make all the sense in the world, but, shit..., do you really think Live is the proper place for someone to "come out" ? One has dozens of social networks "sex related" and "sociological related" and yet it must be on Live, a network completly asexual ?

Another thing I kinda noted about gay people is that some of them aren't much liberals about other issues...

eh..., don't bash me too much, because, what do I know? Not much..., but I do think the gay community (and I know what I'm talking about... don't ask...), is a way too into that "proud" shit. They should try to see themselfs as a regular comunity, and not try to put a badge about their sexual preferences in everything they do (another thing imported from out friends yanks, me thinks...).

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You can't repeatedly ostracize people, and then condemn them when they form their own culture and/or social clique and take pride in it. In my experience, most gay people would love to see themselves as a "regular community" and have their sexuality not matter in the grand scheme of things. It's society in general that makes them not part of the regular community. I mean, look at the subject of this thread - just the use of the word "gay" in a Gamertag was enough to get someone banned from Xbox Live. How is this a fault of the gay community?

There's only one reason this happened, and that's because people complained at the use of the word "gay". Microsoft can say that they'd ban anyone with a hetero equivalent Gamertag, but that's a lazy dodge. They'd never hear about it because nobody would complain about someone called, say, BabeLover23. Nobody would think twice about such a name. It's the gay that makes people throw up their hands and scream "INAPPROPRIATE!"

It's a freaking gaming comunity, ffs..., leave penis, arses and vaginas out of it, is it that hard??

I'll resist the urge to make a puerile joke about your final words, and just point out - again - that this guy did leave penises, arses and vaginas out of it. He didn't call himself PenisArseVagina. It's this assumption that "gay" can only mean "explicit gay sex" that is at the core of this whole silly mess.

To be fair though, the definition of the word 'gay' is "someone who practices homosexuality/ having a sexual attraction to persons of the same sex" ... So by using the word 'gay', you do bring sex & sexuality into it, I do think most of Dan's points are right but I still see no need for any kind of sexualised gamer tags (no matter how tame it may be). I also do feel that a name like 'The Heterosexual Gamer' should & would have also been banned. I wanna play Halo, not worry about whether you like it up t3h bum or not! ;-)

"Microsoft can say that they'd ban anyone with a hetero equivalent Gamertag, but that's a lazy dodge"
Of course it's a lazy dodge, but what I'm trying to understand is: is this realy necessary? To make a comparision I kinda feel the same about the Danish cartoons mocking muslims, was that really necessary? We all kinda know in what world we live, and there are other stages/ways to make a point.

Time to ban all of the idiots with sexual, swear, or otherwise rude names written in 7334!!

DanWhitehead - ""There's only one reason this happened, and that's because people complained at the use of the word "gay". Microsoft can say that they'd ban anyone with a hetero equivalent Gamertag, but that's a lazy dodge. They'd never hear about it because nobody would complain about someone called, say, BabeLover23. Nobody would think twice about such a name. It's the gay that makes people throw up their hands and scream "INAPPROPRIATE!" "

Exactly right. MS's PR over this just doesn't wash. It's the gay aspect that led to it getting banned, not the reference to sexuality. If it was, then how come I can't ever go online without seeing at least 3 gamertags with '69' referenced? Oh, unless of course there are an unusually high amount of 39 year olds online.....

Kyron - "I also do feel that a name like 'The Heterosexual Gamer' should & would have also been banned."

See above.

No it wouldn't get banned, and no they don't. While there is the fact that straight people dont feel the need to shout about it anyway (but that's because society doesn't hold them in contempt like it does homosexuals) so thus wouldn't have a gamertag like that anyway. But there are plenty of gamertags online that do highlight that user's hetero preferences. Names like 'BabeLover69' which Dan mentioned are a good example.

I'm going to try to do a "TheHeterosexualerGamer", and I'm going to report "myself" with my "real" GT. I'll update this later to tell if it gets banned or not. Because, we really don't know do we? We can guess and speculate, but we don't know for sure.

@SomaticSense

OK, well I can't speculate as to whether 'heterosexual gamer' would have been banned (I believe it should be though). Your comparison regarding the number 69 is flawed though, it's not like that particular sexual position is reserved for straight people only. It could just as much be considered a gay sex act as a straight one, so claiming that 'oh look what they let straight ppl get away with" really doesn't wash in this regard.

"(but that's because society doesn't hold them in contempt like it does homosexuals) "

I don't hold anyone who is homosexual in contempt (well, not because of their sexuality, at any rate) and neither does anyone I know, you sure you're not living in the 50's?

You're conflating "sexuality" with "sexual activity" again. Someone saying "I am gay" is not the same as a straight person sleeping around. Gay does not equal promiscuous, so the comparison doesn't hold. It goes back to what I said earlier about this inability to separate the act from the orientation. A person should be able to admit to liking their own gender without the immediate assumption being that they'll shag anyone. To bring it back to the subject at hand, if someone chooses to identify themselves as gay in their Gamertag, that is in no way an example of them being "sex obsessed" or doing their "dirty laundry" in public.

I conflate nothing. Someone saying they are gay is not the same as someone sleeping around, and gay does not equal promiscuous, this is true and I've argued this point with homophobes in the past. But someone going to such lengths to say they are gay as to make it part of their name is not the same as someone happening to mention it in conversation. It is not unreasonable therefore to conclude that their sexuality is of paramount importance to them. If a heterosexual person was to make mention of their sexual preference with such prominence, the natural thing for others to do is to conclude that they also have a vastly inflated sense of the importance of sexuality; practically speaking, they are labelled 'sluts' or 'studs' or (insert own phrase here if preferred). Gay and lesbian people who do this are of course fully within their rights, but most people do not like or respect heterosexual people who do this, so why should gay people expect to be treated or viewed differently, even by liberal-minded people such as myself? Do they want equality, which is reasonable, or special rules just for them, which is not?

And plenty more people live in absolute terror that their sexual orientation will be discovered, and that they'll be subjected to verbal abuse or physical violence as a result. Outside of the more cosmopolitan urban areas, being openly gay in Britain - or the US, or anywhere - can still be a death sentence. The relative anonymity of Xbox Live may be a safe venue for someone to allow this part of themselves to be known, a pressure valve on something that's been secret for too long.

This is pretty silly really. If you live somewhere full of people who you think hate you, living in secrecy and fear praying for change is not the only option. Change yourself and fit in, develop the strength of character to deal with prejudice, or move to somewhere more tolerant - these are all perfectly viable alternatives, and much more realistic than expecting hundreds of years of general popular prejudice to go away because the law now recognises that it's not fair. As many others have said, it's patently obvious that XBL is hardly the place to go to find a safe venue to revel in one's membership of a minority.

They didn't choose for that aspect of their life to take on such distorted importance

In the sense of the importance society generally puts on it, true enough; in the sense of its importance to them, yes they did. I happen to be heterosexual but I choose not to call myself TheStraighterGamer because my sexual preferences are not of any real importance to anyone except me and my girlfriend.

I had a sociology module of my degree last year that was taken by an openly gay lecturer, who worked his sexuality into every lecture at least half a dozen times. The lecture on theories of sexuality was enhanced by this, but the fact he made constant mention of his sexuality was incredibly distracting in the other nine lectures, just as my history lecturer's constant references to Armenia might reflect her personal specialism and enthusiasm but in a lecture on world history, it was neither relevant nor illustrative to continually refer to a tiny country most people would have trouble finding on a map. By contrast, my post-war Japanese society lecturer is much more pleasing to listen to and learn from because she only lets her own research into Japanese feminism into the limelight in the one lecture in which it is relevant. More personal restraint and less wanton enthusiasm is better for all. Don't make something an issue and it won't be one.


What we have here is a situation where a society dominated by heterosexual attitudes actively shuns homosexuals while at the same time saying it's up to them to figure out how to fit in. Yet when they say "OK, I'm gay. Now let's get on with business" the reaction is similar to what's seen in this thread - "Why are you telling me this? Stop ramming it down my throat!". It's projecting a deep-seated social prejudice onto the minority group affected, and that's outrageously unfair.

A personal analogy: I am an anime fan in a country where most people think anime is either kids cartoons or cartoon porn, if they even recognise the word. To paraphrase, what we have here is a situation where a society dominated by live-action entertainment actively shuns anime fans while at the same time saying it's up to them to figure out how to fit in.

What's wrong here? Who is it up to if not me to decide how to fit in? I don't talk about anime unless a person seems to be interested in it; I know it's not something everyone likes or is interested in and some even have strong feelings about it.
On a purely technical level, without being at all judgemental, homosexuality is deviant, just as my enthusiasm for Japanese animation is deviant, and deviance is always something that inspires strong emotions. People ought to have complete freedom of expression, but the is-ought gap has been well known for hundreds of years. You can debate whether it ought to be, but it is human nature to establish a norm, form ingroups and outgroups, and judge people relatively, and it always will be. What is needed is for ingroups to simply tolerate outgroups irrespective of their personal judgements, and for outgroups to enjoy their diversity in such a way as to not provoke others to abandon that tolerance once it is established.

This incident is not a provocation, I hasten to add, but in such a complex society where life consists of so many things at once it's easy to see this as one if one wishes, especially in as inherenly combative a context as online gaming.

YourMessageHere
I'm supposed to be revising so I'll not write too much.
"someone going to such lengths to say they are gay as to make it part of their name is not the same as someone happening to mention it in conversation."
I really dont see why so many people are suggesting the person in question went to "great lengths" to say they are gay. It seems to me they are a person who consider themselves a "gamer" (whatever your definition of that word is). This is a much maligned part of society. Being gay in this context is even more unusual. So I f i was in that situation and being promted for a way to represent myself on screen I cant see why that wouldn't be a logical name choice, sexual debate completely aside. The same logic applies to females on live. Being a female gamer itself is interesting enough to make it part of your name.

"If you live somewhere full of people who you think hate you, living in secrecy and fear praying for change is not the only option. Change yourself and fit in, develop the strength of character to deal with prejudice, or move to somewhere more tolerant - these are all perfectly viable alternatives, and much more realistic than expecting hundreds of years of general popular prejudice to go away because the law now recognises that it's not fair."

I'm afraid I disagree mostly. I agree on the point that xbox live is not the best place to make any kind of stand on social issues. However it is a safe place to do it. No one can beat you up on live. If fitting in was as easy you make it seem, maybe we wouldn't be having this dicussion. Telling someone who is different and scared to reveal their own indivuality to "change yourself and fit in" does not sit well with me.
Moving somewhere more tolerant is a ridiculous statement in an otherwise well written sensible post. Life is not so easy that we can move away from trouble whenever it appears. what if gayergamer is at school? Hardly the most tolerant of places and then its not like it is his descion to move away if the oppurtunity came up.
Overall,I'm really struggling to see why people have such a problem with even just a statement of sexual orientation. Fair enough you may feel it is irrelevant but if we do not challenge the norm (in this case heterosexuality and faer of homosexuals) nothing will ever change.
You use anime as an example. Would you also insist that someone with the name animefan24 change their name if they recieve abuse. They have forced their interests on others after all.
There seems an air of some posts here that being gays fine but abuse is a given if you make too much of a show of it. This is what we need to challenghe in society and telling an individual to stay quiet is no way to move things forward. I'm not saying xbox live will chnage society for the better but we cant chnage anything if we all stay quiet.

I'd like to ask everyone on here to follow me in a assault on the ignorant on live. Whenever I hear someone being unfairly abused on live I try and back that person up. Even if they have a go at me too I think its worth it to let people know not everyone on live is an idiot. Perhaps if we all make sure the stupid minortiy are not the loud minority we could make a little bit of a difference, if only a little.

"Racism, hate speech, bigotry, homophobia, all these things have no place on Xbox Live and are in violation of our Terms of Use and Code of Conduct."

And thus you ban a gamertag that alludes to being gay... What a fucking bunch of hypocrits.

Seems it's only a matter of time until my tag gets the hammer too then :(

"How does one define gay other than with reference to sexual orientation?

I'd have thought that most people (UK guys at least) use the term 'gay' to mean crap/rubbish/weak rather than in any homosexual context - the guy could just have been touting his rubbishness at games :)

This kinda crap that goes on on live is why I completely lost the taste for multiplayer gaming. Actually, GTAIV hasn't exactly freakin' helped here. On the one hand they try to make it a much more mature, believable story line, and on the other hand every single depiction of gay people in it makes them a complete screaming queen. Damnit.

Unclebenny:

They went to great lengths because they used it as their name, given free choice of anything they could think of. By supplying two facts, his choice of name and preference in games, TheGayerGamer is essentially inviting whatever random people he plays alongside to notice his sexuality. The whole point is that they are labelling themselves as gay, which is basically and inseperably an issue of sexuality - you cannot therefore sensibly leave that debate aside.

No-one can beat you up on live, but we're talking about psychological repression here. The lack of physical harm is not really an issue when you are immersing yourself in an arena where the label of your minority seems to be the most common term of contempt and derision, and the use seems more frequent and aggressive. I'd be lying if I called that a safe environment.

I didn't mean to make it seem I thought it was easy to fit in, or any other alternative, I simply said it succinctly as my post was massive enough as it was. I've never fitted in and never tried to; I prefer to stand out somewhat and cope with the consequences, and it took me many years and much pain to get to where I am now. This person is clearly not scared to reveal their own individuality as they are revealing their sexuality to the entirety of XBL. If you are scared to do so, that therefore must mean you do not - you try to fit in, in which case it's not unreasonable to suggest continuing this as a course of action.

I try to find environments where I am happy. Moving house, or continually tolerating an environment of constant threat that is not of your making: which is more achievable to you? I know when I move abroad in September, that will happily solve the problem of whether to wait for the council to eventually evict the man upstairs, who has been banging on the floor with a hammer and using my flat as his personal subwoofer at all hours since he moved in a year ago. My flatmate and I have been contemplating moving because of this. Not entirely unrelated, or unreasonable as a response, I think.

And if he's at school at an age when his peers are likely to damage him for being gay, IMO he shouldn't be on XBL.

Fair enough you may feel it is irrelevant but if we do not challenge the norm (in this case heterosexuality and faer of homosexuals) nothing will ever change...There seems an air of some posts here that being gays fine but abuse is a given if you make too much of a show of it. This is what we need to challenghe in society and telling an individual to stay quiet is no way to move things forward. I'm not saying xbox live will chnage society for the better but we cant chnage anything if we all stay quiet.

Challenging the norm is both useless and pointless. Norms, I should qualify, describe states ("I am gay/straight"), not attitudes ("being gay is bad/OK"). Unless the majority become homosexual, it will never be the norm, as it is inherently outside the norm, being as it is defined in opposition to the heterosexual norm. As I said, the norm needs to become less important - people who adhere to the norm need to accept that not adhering to it is perfectly OK, and people who don't need to accept that their difference from the norm may be important to them, but others more than likely don't want or need to know about it.

Change is happening, it just isn't going to happen fast. The vast majority of homophobes will always be homophobes until they die - it's not something that you can simply decide to change your mind about. Look at female suffrage. The suffragettes achieved votes for women, at which point women simply began quietly voting alongside men, in the midst of all the complaints of the conservative mindset. In a generation or two, the complaints were gone with the complainers. Now we take gender-blind suffrage as moot. Homosexuality is fully legal, and gays and lesbians are to my knowledge afforded all the legal protections heterosexual people enjoy. At this point, highlighting one's alternative sexuality achieves nothing meaningful.

You use anime as an example. Would you also insist that someone with the name animefan24 change their name if they recieve abuse. They have forced their interests on others after all.

No, I'm not saying choice of name forces interests on others, that's a semantic debate that's not really relevant. If I were in charge of XBL I'd not regulate names and not allow kids under 16, and make damn sure that the T&Cs said that if you are offended by someone else's username, it's your problem, and if you get abuse because of your own, it's also your problem. But that's me.

Anyhow, that's not the point of that analogy; I merely meant that analogy to say that if you do not draw attention to an aspect of your personality, for example by not using it as the basis of your online name, you will avoid any abuse that stems from those who hate that aspect; alternatively, if you do, that is your choice, and how you deal with it is no-one's problem but your own.

All that being said, I'd totally agree with your attitude toward unfair abusive behaviour in online gaming. You can't change someone's mind for them, but you can make damn sure they know their behaviour is seen as unacceptable by others.

Kyron - "OK, well I can't speculate as to whether 'heterosexual gamer' would have been banned (I believe it should be though). Your comparison regarding the number 69 is flawed though, it's not like that particular sexual position is reserved for straight people only. It could just as much be considered a gay sex act as a straight one, so claiming that 'oh look what they let straight ppl get away with" really doesn't wash in this regard."

Erm, it's not flawed at all.

MS stated that they will ban any gamertag that mentions sex, yet the fact you see so many tags with '69' completely proves that they don't. Sexual preference has nothing to do with that (as rightfully it shouldnt). My point was that if they really did enforce this 'no sex because of the minors' rule, then we wouldnt be seeing them would we? No, instead they just ban the one that mentions a homosexual preference....

"I don't hold anyone who is homosexual in contempt (well, not because of their sexuality, at any rate) and neither does anyone I know, you sure you're not living in the 50's?"

I wasn't saying you were, nor anyone that you know. But even in the 21st century homosexuality isn't accepted or viewed in the same light by society in general as heterosexuality.
You hear all the time about gay men/women still finding it hard to tell their parents and friends for the first time, and what about all the anti-gay preaching coming from the various religions in the world? It is definitely miles better than back then, yes, but it certainly is not anywhere near being viewed a part of the same status as being straight by society as a whole.

Knowing the mind set of a large number of users of XBOX live this guy was gonna get murdered. I once changed the colour of my Spartan to all pink with a emblem of a set of Cherry red lips and a cowboy hat, specifically to wind up our friends across the pond. It had the desired effect, if I had a quid for everytime I was called a faggot/homo etc. I would now be a very rich man by now.

BAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

How intolerant a society are we??

It's only words for the love of god.

I mean, we are playing games which depict violence and murder, but yet some kn''bs are getting upset about tags like Ian Huntly.

The hypocrisy is horrendous.

They've banned my gamertag too
http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardgayw...
what makes this funny is that Richard Gaywood is just my real name. Guess I'd better go change it, clearly it's offensive to small animals, children, and right thinking folk everywhere.