Lars Ulrich can't play GH Metallica

"I look like a complete f***ing klutz."

Metallica founder Lars Ulrich is embarrassed that his children can recreate his drum parts in Guitar Hero: Metallica better than he can.

"I look like a complete f***ing klutz because I can drum them in real-life, but obviously there are slight modifications when it's transcribed for the game," Ulrich told Blender. "I have it inbred in me how to play these songs, but then I have to sit and look at little dots on a screen and try to figure out how to play it the way it's transcribed.

"Meanwhile, my 10-year-old and my 7-year-old are shredding on the guitars. It's kind of a mindf***, sitting there, with my 45 years of semi-glory, and getting toasted by my kids."

Ulrich was equally vocal about looking ridiculous while recording motion-capture footage for the game, and likened his appearance to that of a fat Christmas tree.

"You're Joe F***ing Cool - you've got all these people looking at you - and you're just f***ing up the motion-capture," he said.

"And the mo-cap suit certainly doesn't add to your confidence. It looks like some sort of f***ing aerobic, spandex suit, and it's f***ing seven sizes too small. It certainly emphasizes all that extra f***ing dessert that you shouldn't have had.

"And you've got all these f***ing reflective balls on the suit," he added. "You basically look like a f***ing Christmas tree!"

Goodness me. Wash your mouth out with soap. Guitar Hero: Metallica is due out for PS3, Xbox 360, Wii and PS2 in May.

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