A review done in verse and rhyme? I know, I've gone out of my mind. London has now gone to hell, The dead now walk, the city smells, Buildings crumble to the ground And no intelliegent life for miles around The sky is dark, we face defeat From powers abound that think we're weak. Sounds much like London today But in truth, that's the plot of the game. You kind of get the feeling too The American devs had a hoot Making this game cut so close To the bone, I guess it's gotta hurt.
Hellgate: London, it has it's class, That isn't stuck up it's own ass The Diablo team, now on their own Have gone back to their spiritual home An MMO without the grind That takes up all our precious time. It's Diablo but it's now 3D And doesn't take itself seriously. Hellgate feels quite fresh and clean Despite the fact it's a set routine. It really is quite slow to start But it grows and plays and has a heart. You'll laugh at many of the quests Though the Techsmith one is clearly the best!
Note that I don't say "RPG", It's hard to tell, though I believe That saying it's an MMO Is taking liberties with what we know. Though it's true in Hellgate, you can group It feels like they got left out the loop. Most of it I soloed with ease, Whilst grouping was just like a playful tease. It's a shame but then, it's got some time To work on this. But keep in mind That most people you meet in-game Are thick as shit, and those that remain Stay quiet whilst the tramps shout and scream, Thank god my chat window was rarely seen!
It's pretty, then, what is not these days? The diablo team go into their old ways, It's a spiritual nod to their past work And in truth, that was never going to hurt. It handles like that nameless game But truth be told, there is no shame In copying things that work with ease As long as it doesn't feel squeezed In, it's natural and it works too So nothing wrong in what they do. The sound can be a little dull And the random maps fuck with your skull. I guess with more time and finesse These are things they will address.
The one thing that can suck my cock Is there's nothing that can be unlocked That's worth paying a monthly fee When the game itself is nice and free. It's a tacky way to earn some cash By offering some pointless trash To fans who have the cash to spare And whose common sense has gone elsewhere. If you want to play this game There's plenty there, don't feel shame. There really is no way to defend Why anyone should be asked to spend For pointless tat that's gone too fast And gets replaced when the season's passed.
It's also short - far too quick And that is sad, it makes me sick That it's over in a few short days And the partying is such a waste. You can do it solo, all the way And never need to try group play. It would have been a great idea But it never really feels It's all one great big grinding race That falls upon it's pretty face It's true there is a lot to do And there's many classes to master too. But when you think how brief this is, There better be new content. Quick.
I don't hate it, that is true I think there's much that's fresh and new And opposed to half the MMO's I rather like the light approach. It's short, it's sweet, and it is fun But it's over before it has begun Maybe in time we'll see content Added to make it worth the expense Of subscribing to a monthly fee Because right now, there's not much to see. Even though there's many things I hate, I had a lot of fun - it's great. It does it's job, it does it well And despite the flaws, it isn't hell.
7 / 10