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Golden Axe: Beast Rider Comments by Dan Whitehead

17 October, 2008

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Comments: 1-50 of 93 in total | next 50 »

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Widge
17/10/08 @ 10:34
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"helpfully flashing either blue or orange as it begins"

oh hello Heavenly Sword!
Fab4
17/10/08 @ 10:35
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News Item pic looks like Lindsay Lohan.
myiagros
17/10/08 @ 10:35
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supprise!

\sarcasm mode off
DuTraveller
17/10/08 @ 10:35
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without co-op offline?? that is sooooooooooooo shitty!!
Eraysor
17/10/08 @ 10:36
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Shame really, because the originals were totally epic. I hope they don't try and make another Streets of Rage 4 and screw that up too.
Carpathian
17/10/08 @ 10:38
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{Saw tagline of 'Pony'}

{laughed out loud at desk at work}

Probably got more enjoyment out of the EG titling than I would from the game it seems.
LockeTribal
17/10/08 @ 10:38
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Quite like the sound of "Adventures of Fiery Boob Lady".
Bloodkult
17/10/08 @ 10:38
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Ah.

Back to Conan then.
Redeye
17/10/08 @ 10:39
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Had a nasty suspicion this was going to be utter pelt, not exactly overjoyed to have that confirmed. SEGA could have had a really nice title on their hands, instead of something only slightly less appealling than stepping in dog poo.

Shame.
saku_luk
17/10/08 @ 10:40
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Damn it, and here I thot I might enjoy another slasher after Heavenly Sword, which was short as hell but at least fun to play ~_~

Thanks for the review ;p I might grab this but when the price drops even on used copies xD
Darren
17/10/08 @ 10:42
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I trust Dan's reviews so this is most certainly crossed off my "To Buy Next Year" list! I wonder if there'll be a demo...

I had a feeling it might not be good with the absence of reviews or even previews from all the major players prior to its release today. Shame really as I was interested in it after watching the two promising Making Of features on the Xbox LIVE Marketplace. Still at this time of year don't want too many good games, do we? ;)
Edited 1 times, most recently on 17/10/08 @ 11:45
SimonM7
17/10/08 @ 10:43
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Yeah, this game has looked like shit for so long. Secret Level was the most bewildering purchase Sega could've possibly made, what with abysmal efforts like Final Fight Streetwise.
DFawkes
17/10/08 @ 10:44
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Let's make a great co-op game single player!

Instant, inevitable failure right there.
Razz
17/10/08 @ 10:44
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:D Hilarious review! Almost as funny as Ellie.
Gnort
17/10/08 @ 10:46
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The review pretty much confirms everything I thought would be wrong with the game when I read about it in development. It's a shame, as I loved the original, but this seems to have nothing in common with it.
Mogs
17/10/08 @ 10:48
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It amuses me that you only devote one page to reviewing this as it's clearly not 'worthy' of anything more, but I'd take one page over the usual three pages of pretentious ramblings any day of the week. Get to the point, don't tell me about what you were thinking as you sat down with your morning coffee; I don't care, you are not interesting.
Beano
17/10/08 @ 10:48
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Not as good as Lair, then ?
N@
17/10/08 @ 10:48
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Screw Sega for sullying the name of Golden Axe. I remember when Sega used to make great games. Now they've turned into a suck ass publisher.
Phily50
17/10/08 @ 10:49
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Did anyone expect this to be actually any good?
menage
17/10/08 @ 10:50
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Oh dear.

Fucked my favorite childhood game right up the ass hay.
Aretak
17/10/08 @ 10:51
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3/10? It's a post-Dreamcast Sega game alright.
SteveB
17/10/08 @ 10:56
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Anyone who likes this sort of game and hasn't checked out Conan (not the MMORPG one) should do so. It's only £10 now and it's an enjoyable little romp with some excellent design decisions e.g. check pointing boss fight phases.

Oh and it’s got boobs in it.
Adam_T
17/10/08 @ 10:56
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little tail whipping mounted guys ftw!
spookyzombie
17/10/08 @ 10:57
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3/10 is very harsh. I thought it was more middle of the road, so I'd 5/10 it.
ZuluHero
17/10/08 @ 10:58
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how does this compare to Viking Battle for Asgard?

If you enjoyed that is there a chance that you will enjoy this as much? Looking at meta critic this game has such a huge range of review scores (just like viking) so does it suffer from the same thing - like a marmite game (ie some will love and others will hate)?

The scores on metacritic range from 30% -70% , which is such a huge range. To put things in perspective, a 7/10 on here would be respectable enough to buy and play.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 17/10/08 @ 11:59
pbz
17/10/08 @ 11:00
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lol saw this comming a mile off
Garulon
17/10/08 @ 11:01
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"Did anyone expect this to be actually any good? "

Nay nay and thrice nay, but if we were all expecting it to be terrible, WTF were Sega doing putting monies towards this coffin-raping dog turd? Money that could have gone towards another JSRF or even S-----e III?
DanWhitehead
17/10/08 @ 11:02
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how does this compare to Viking Battle for Asgard?

It's considerably worse than Viking. It's not only derivative, but basic gameplay elements feel borderline broken.
Bloodkult
17/10/08 @ 11:10
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JUST BUY CONAN!



(Yes, I am in the EG Conan Pimping Team)
ZuluHero
17/10/08 @ 11:12
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@DanWhitehead

That’s all i needed to know, I was hoping that it was maybe misunderstood in the way Viking was, but at least the controls in that were intuitive and seamless, and it never felt like you weren't in control of what was happening around you.

Thanks for the information :)

/crosses off list


dr_faulk
17/10/08 @ 11:14
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lol. I could have given it that score just by reading the name.
Apostle
17/10/08 @ 11:15
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Boobies!

/Chris Griffin
Gnort
17/10/08 @ 11:15
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I think someone should have given Dan an award at that GMA thing. Not only does he seem to write more reviews than any of the other EG staffers, he's also one of the few staffers who will brave the trolls and fantards in the comments sections to answer people's questions.

And he reviews almost as many shit games as Ellie. We salute you, Mr Whitehead.
Machetazo
17/10/08 @ 11:20
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Yes, definitely. Conan ftw.
absolutezero
17/10/08 @ 11:21
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Everytime you wrote beasts I read breasts.

:/ Breast Rider.

also I was about to leave and buy this. Think Ill leave it now. Saints Row 2 it is :s
Edited 1 times, most recently on 17/10/08 @ 12:23
SuperNashwan
17/10/08 @ 11:21
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WTF ?!?! Goldenaxe without Giilus Thunderhead ?! No wonder it is utter Shyte.

Probably has correct spelling and grammar in all the cut scenes too.
Chtulie
17/10/08 @ 11:22
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Forgot to mention Outrun 2 in the intro for maximum contrast of Sega doing it right, then doing it wrong.
DanWhitehead
17/10/08 @ 11:23
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Gilius is in the game, but only in cutscenes. If the barbarian dude is in there as well, I didn't notice him amongst all the other scantily clad cliches.
DanWhitehead
17/10/08 @ 11:24
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And he reviews almost as many shit games as Ellie. We salute you, Mr Whitehead.

I actually am Ellie. It's a Dr Jekyll/Sister Hyde sort of deal.
Gearskin
17/10/08 @ 11:26
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WTF? WTF??? Conan gets a 7/10 and this gets a 3/10?

My ass. MY ASS!
Gnort
17/10/08 @ 11:28
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Something appears to be wrong with Gearskin's ass.
SuperNashwan
17/10/08 @ 11:32
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I hate this type of remake that manages to ignore precisely what made the original so good (and not just making me laugh at Death = Adder). Pah, and they got it so right with Sega Rally.

Is it sad to admit I was playing golden axe on a megadrive just last week ? (gears has nothing on is 2 player awsomeness, the woman can unleash a nuclear explosion for gods sake, makes the hammer of dawn look pretty feeble)

Now where are my rose sunglasses, i feel a Double Dragon session comming on....
Edited 1 times, most recently on 17/10/08 @ 12:34
mikeck
17/10/08 @ 11:34
#43
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"My ass. MY ASS! "

My kingdom for an ass
konnsky
17/10/08 @ 11:37
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omg! didn't see that one coming after watching some of the developer diaries.

why oh why did they botched my favourite arcade game of all time...
Widge
17/10/08 @ 11:39
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forum unites over Golden Axe!
armandao [mod]
17/10/08 @ 11:39
#46
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Honestly....did anyone thought this was going to be good?
Gearskin
17/10/08 @ 11:42
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@ armandao

If you thought the videos looked good. You'll probably like it. The game isn't high concept, it's not going to replace Ninja Gaiden or anything. But it's no worse than Conan. How Conan can walk away with a solid score whilst Golden Axe gets savaged is beyond my brain.

Even Hellboy scored higher! This is better than Hellboy.
RedPanda
17/10/08 @ 11:43
#48
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Damnit I read "The breasts, for example, are not only a nightmare to control but they're apparently made from tissue paper and plasticine." :D
Edited 1 times, most recently on 17/10/08 @ 12:44
viper_h
17/10/08 @ 11:47
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Why is Conan £10-£15 on the PS3 and £39.99 on the 360? :(
drumbaby
17/10/08 @ 11:51
#50
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Put me down for a dozen.

Comments: 1-50 of 93 in total | next 50 »

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