Did you know that Nintendo UK is moving house today? Dedicated bastards, this hasn't stopped them telling us what's on Virtual Console. You wouldn't catch us doing that. With half a day to move we'd have our books in a box and be down the Squirrel & Ratpaw for a half of Fosters shandy before you could say "Trevor's dropped the Steinway" [what in God's name is going on here? Shut up! -Ed].
Anyway, perhaps the reason they've done one is that they've run out of space for all these lovely Virtual Console press releases - what with today heralding the addition of games number 100 and 101 to the European version of everyone's favourite retro shopfront. And what is game number 100? Why, it's none other than F-Zero X! An N64 classic and collector of top scores at the time, it's 1000 Wii points' worth of hardcore futuristic racing.
Game 101, meanwhile, is 600 Wii points' worth of TurboGrafx-16 output yours truly has never heard of called J.J. & Jeff. "A comical side-scrolling platform game [weren't they all?] ... Players assume the role of either J.J. or Jeff, two bungling detectives, as they run, jump, kick or spray their way through six different levels to solve a kidnapping case." Aha, so it's a poor man's Plok/Kid Klown in Crazy Chase/Putty Squad/etc and so on. "Players must defeat their enemies by cunningly using their spray paint, whilst also keeping an eye on their life spans which can be bolstered by finding hidden food throughout the levels." Brilliant.
For more on those (including actual critical thought, rather than lazily regurgitated press bumf and numerous threatening references to the UN), join Dan Whitehead tomorrow for our weekly Virtual Console Roundup, where we'll also be looking at some more of the classic games and their friends that make up the Virtual Console's 101-strong line-up. And good luck with the move, Nintendo.