Of course, the Eurogamer Expo wouldn't be very Eurogamery if we didn't sneak in some leftfield stuff, so there's also the Pixel-Lab Indie Arcade to look forward to, where you can play the PC version of Xbox Live Arcade classic Braid, the recent and brilliant Multiwinia from Introversion, and amazingly-named games like Dangerous Highschool Girls in Trouble and War Twat, among many others. Among six others. You may even see a few developers snooping around the Expo seeing how their games are doing, from the indies right up to more familiar faces from the likes of Valve. Assuming Chet wasn't lying in that email he sent me.
Dig beneath the hit-list of sexy coders and Q4 stunnahs and you'll find another side of the Expo, like the LittleBigPlanet pod showcasing our brilliant level design competition winner Michael Williams' in-game creation. You've seen the floor-plan, right? Take a look at the "Outside" bit. See where it says "Dawn of War II"? That's a tank with PCs in it. "Motorstorm Zone"? That's a Humvee. We can't promise booth babes, but we can promise incongruous military utility. And Bertie has a handlebar moustache.
The Eurogamer Expo isn't alone on the site either. Those of you who fancy a break from gaming and working-to-live can get a job if you go to the right career sessions, and there's a full-blown GamesIndustry.biz Career Fair in the adjacent building, where exhibitors include SEGA, THQ, Microsoft, Crytek, Relentless, Starbreeze, Realtime Worlds and others, with numerous sessions throughout the two days covering subjects like the development of Fable II and how to go from being a Quake mod developer to running your own studio.
"Easily the highlight of the Career Fair", however, in the words of our mothers, is the very special "Ask Eurogamer" panel (working title: "Say that to my f***ing face"), where yours truly, deputy editor Ellie Gibson and MMO editor Oli Welsh will take questions from the audience about whatever the audience wants to question us about. Want to know how we review things? Do we ever get threatened by publishers? How did we get our jobs? Which games have we played but can't talk about?
But perhaps you have a different question. Perhaps it's, "who is updating the website while you pretend people care about you and all that?" And it is a fair question, if a little rude (it's not like we're poking your cat with drawing pins, or making you talk to Kristan about Scandinavian alt-rock groups between 1997 and 2004 or anything). Fortunately, it's also a question we can answer now, because thanks to the miracle of laptops and internet, Eurogamer staff will be updating as normal throughout the Expo, providing our usual range of news items, features, incorrect opinions and other award-winning errors while some of you - and we - stand in Rupert's dream in London. Some of us will even be reviewing things behind closed doors at the Expo. You'll never be closer to the process. At least, those are the security team's instructions.
So come along to the Eurogamer Expo (did we mention that tickets cost five quid, that the money goes to charity, and that we only have about 500 left?), or don't come along to the Eurogamer Expo and just read the Eurogamer website instead. We'll never stop loving you. And Rupert will never stop dreaming of a brighter tomorrow, probably with a Eurogamer logo hanging from the moon. On a stick. See ya.
The Eurogamer Expo takes place on Tuesday 28th and Wednesday 29th October at the Old Truman Brewery in London. Check out the Eurogamer Expo website for details on ticket availability and how to get there, or click through to page three for a full list of all the games on show.