Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon Comments by Ellie Gibson

Shame, had been looking forward to this since it was announced, but became wary after learning that Pandemic were nolonger handling it.

"Last few copies! Hurry!"

2/10 LOL

2/10 actually sounds fair. I wouldnt mind if you used 1/10 for this game either. No one should buy this, but many will.

Poor Ellie.

Can I have your review copy please? :)

Ellie gave the Wii equivalent 3/10.

Reads like an 8/10.

I thought the homing missile anal probe sounded kind of funny :P And scary.

The original 2 were decent enough games. Loads of weak areas though so its disappointing to see that the power of a next-gen console has gone to waste when the sequel still has bland areas etc.

Yikes !

Shame - I thought the first one was good. But the series seems to have gone downhill rapidly since then.

To be honest this is genius. Let's face it, many of us skip to the end of a review to see the score, then go back and read it. In most cases, seeing < 6/10 makes you want to not bother with the game or the review. So essentially someone's sat through a bad game, and then no-one reads the review.

Now we have Ellie, who's slagging off of bad games is consistently hilarious, without resorting to formulaic nonsense or shock-value like, for example, Zero Punctuation.

So my point is that (especially since the 'serious' reviewing has got so schizo and reactive lately) Ellie's reviews are one of the few reasons I stay entertained by EG's content. Ellie I reckon you should do a Charlie Brooker and spin-off to bigger and better solo projects.

Why does Ellie only review rubbish games? I really dont rmemebr her being given even a medicore game. Is she truly hated in the EG offices?
Perhaps due to a soap style level of interconnected back stabbing and inbreeding (I'm looking at you Hollyoaks)?

@Unclebenny - because she's funny, and funny isn't appropriate for the super-serious task of reviewing 'better than halo?' games... sigh

PS3 owners have to do without this in the US. What a shame.

There seems to been a lot of harsh reviews going around lately, has someone upset you Eurogamer? :(

It's as if Pandemics nice game went to other less able developers.

(I believe only the first game was developed by Pandemic)

"Someone ought to phone Watchdog."
They said they'd be right on it after investigating Fable 2 as a misrepresentation of a finished game act, which requires all reviewers Not to lie for cash.

Review on release day due to being gagged and bound by a bunch of S&M lawyers= No sale.

Disclaimer: This is meant as a joke. I'm sure you don't enjoy S&M as much as I don't enjoy shopping at M&S. Please don't sue me.

It's as if Pandemic's once shiny, happy puppy grew old and tired, as is the way of things, but then instead of being put down was handed over to a bunch of tramps. Who shaved all its hair off and fed it on Tesco Value Pilsner and let it get mange. It's time for THQ to get the shotgun

brilliant. is there an address i can send ellie a valentines card to?

Will EG do a feature on the lowest scoring game in EG? I think it could be an interesting read to find the top 10 worse of the worse!!!

This may not get a bottom ten ranking though!

Well we all knew this would be shite anyway as even the original game wasn't that great IMO. When I saw the trailer a year back, I just knew it wouldn't end well. I mean if a trailer looks shoddy then there's no hope for the game being any better, right?

Kudos to Ellie for such an enjoyable and amusing review... I was chuckling throughout. She's rapidly becoming my favourite EG reviewer. Shame that she only seems to get the crap games to review though. I guess having a good sense of humour helps!

@glottis0- Yeah thats what first occured but then i thought, "No, surely a person who has worked hard to get qualified and then employed would eventually say "Look boys, the jokes over. I want to review an actual game not these free-on-a-box-of-frosties monstrosities you keep giving me"

She must get slightly sick of only reviewing dire games. Like you were alluding to, its possible to write a good review and be funny at the same time.

Reads just like the Killzone2 Review, yet that got a 9/10, are Eurogamer just trying to redress the balance in their scoring system...? Oh, wait - sorry - wrong thread... ;-)

I'm disappointed in you, EG, for not uploading a raw gameplay clip to EGTV to fully convey the awfulness that's merely been hinted at in this review! :D

i've come to the conclusion that pandemic are AWFUL now

If Colin McRae had survived his helicopter crash, he would play this game - IGN.com

"Again, we don't recall seeing anything of this visual quality in the 360 version. "

Could you not have stretched to taking a few of your own screenshots, rather than pasting up the fake ones?

"i've come to the conclusion that pandemic are AWFUL now "

That's a bit harsh if you have reached that conclusion based on a game they didn't make.

@smernicki

I want that address too :)

Does Ellie only get to review bad games or is it she scores low?

http://www.eurogamer.net/archive.php?typ...

It would appear Ellie likes a bit of Boom Blox.

Instead of slagging off the pre-fab screenies, why not take some that actually show us what it looks like?

After reading the review in full I'm surprised it managed a lofty 2/10.

I second GamesConnoisseur's suggestion. Please do a 'worst of the worst' feature.

Best review I've ever read on here I think, the build up to that score was brilliant (I never look at the score until I've actually read the write-up). That sounds like a game I'd never wish on anybody, for shame.

Sounds amazing!

"One of the new powers lets you force enemies to do disco dancing while a glitterball spins above their head. Yes, just like in Ratchet & Clank PS3. Only less original or good."

lmao! I absolutely CANNOT believe they put that in there!

Day one then.

Pre-ordered.

Reading minds isn't new! You could do that in the first one!

This is a dreadful shame - playing the first Destroy All Humans! on Xbox Originals, it's fun but flawed in places (and some of the missions are super-tedious, especially when you die and have to repeat an enormous stealth segment before you get to the fighting bit in which you died), and I had really hoped that at some point somebody would make a sequel which had all the good bits and dealt with the less good bits and the tedious bits and made it into a fantastic game.

But then, one day they might make a Grand Theft Auto game in which I don't want to feed the protagonist through a mincing machine and scatter the results on the surface of the sun...

I have to admit, I am losing faith in a lot of EG's higher-profile reviews, but Ellie is definitely the best thing on this site. Fantastic read, and very funny.

A developer is nothing more than the people actually working for them. If the talent moves somewhere else, that's it. I don't know why everyone makes the (wrong) assumption that developer talent stays 'fixed'. And then they only start to suspect than something might have gone wrong five years down the line. Because Rare is brilliant, isn't it?

DING

Also, how about you fellas wrestle up some picture taking software? It's silly when the images accompanying the blog-entry are all from a press release and the subtext is busy slagging the pr-kit.

also
Characters continually get stuck on scenery and in animation loops.
A bit like fallout 3, then?

@GamesConnoisseur
Will EG do a feature on the lowest scoring game in EG? I think it could be an interesting read to find the top 10 worse of the worse!!!

This may not get a bottom ten ranking though!

I would like to, formally, second this. Formally. In a formal manner.

I'd be very interested to see a bottom 10 feature. Preferably, one per platform but I wouldn't turn down an all formats one.

I second the motion too. You can call it Eurogamer's Pit, or Eurogamer's Hell of Fame.

And while you are on it, put Halo and MGS on the list, to maximise you page hits.

And Fable II, if you want to redeem yourselves.

i got the game, its very funny and entertaining... i would give it an 6/10...

The game is pretty darn awful and nothing like the previews they had.. although its unfair to say they stole the disco ball thing from R&C, They had the exact thing in destroy all humans 2, so you could say R&C stole it from them....just thought id point that out

BULL ****. Pure BULL ****. I bet this tightwad never even played the game. I've beaten it six times! This review credits the game as awful and not worth playing. That's a crap lie. All the things in the images YOU SEE IN THE GAME. The mission objectives are less repetative than GTA IV's "chase This Guy, Losse Wanted Level, Mission Comlplete" mission style. This game has more fun weapons than any of the other games dumb critics like this one worship, and the Saucer is more frikkin fun to pilot than a stupid car, and it has more firepower than a tank. The characters and voice acting are phenominal. The locations are NOT small. If you tried to cross one on foot, It'd take you about 30 minutes to go across half of it. There is also some challenge, there is plenty of variety, and Pox and Crypto don't "yammer" throughout the game. How are the "blow things up" missions not fun? This idiot has no sense of fun at all. The building DO explode. The anal probe IS funny. "Environments are small, sparse and populated by about three character models each.". Um, no. They are LARGE and populated by abour 300 characters at a time. "Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon is rubbish." No. This review is. This is the largest amount of fail I have ever seen on the internet that came from a supposed professional and not a n00b. Next time, get a critic that isn't on their frikkin period to review a game and review it right.

This game at most a 7/10.

This review is a waste of internet bandwith, and, I will never in my life, trust a Eurogamer review, ever. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no."