Jump to navigation

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed Comments by Ellie Gibson

22 March, 2008

Destroy All Sequels: Big Pointless Mess.

Read entire article.

Want to comment on this article? Log in, or register!

Comments: 1-49 of 49 in total

Poster
Comment Low-scoring comments hidden. Log in to see them!
disc
22/03/08 @ 10:47
#1
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Ellie you don't like games.
funkyd
22/03/08 @ 10:48
#2
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Ouch!
JeroenZM
22/03/08 @ 10:55
#3
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
If only Ellie wasn't so talented at burning down bad games, I'd sign a petition to get her to review a good game sometime.
dripgrind
22/03/08 @ 11:06
#4
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Bumbums boobies peepee poopoo milk milk lemonade round the corner chocolate's made I self-harm because it's the only way to feel alive.

I'm worried that the cumulative effect of only reviewing crappy games is taking its toll on Ellie. Can you give her some good titles to review please?
dripgrind
22/03/08 @ 11:07
#5
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
And how could they screw this up? I quite liked the PS2 version and you'd think the Wii would be able to handle the same level of detail.
paul_haine
22/03/08 @ 12:00
#6
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
"my friend Billy had a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door, she thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now he's doing time because she's four."

Hang on, when did Billy become a pedophile? I'm sure when I knew the rhyme as a boy, it finished with "and now it's only three feet four". Sign of the times, I guess...
Sid Nice
22/03/08 @ 12:13
#7
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
A Wii review by Ellie Gibson only means one thing...

A shit game...

I'm in two minds whether to buy this or Mario Kart Wii.
convercide
22/03/08 @ 12:14
#8
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
+1 to paul_haine's post. It was definitely a reduction in the length of poor William's shaft. Upon reflection, his genitalia would be dramaticlly reduced in functionality if the glans were to be removed in such a vile and crude manner. Urination would become harder, not that it wasn't difficult in the first place.

EDIT: Someone posted faster than me.
Edited 2 times, most recently on 22/03/08 @ 13:37
Nithron
22/03/08 @ 12:46
#9
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
That's a shame, i loved the previous Destroy All Humans games. I suppose the incredibly shitty title was a bit of a warning, however.
Corben Dallas
22/03/08 @ 13:27
#10
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Dont hold back Ellie .........tell us what u really think :)
kelly's_h
22/03/08 @ 14:05
#11
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
9/10 review

ha ha ha!
afgavinstan
22/03/08 @ 14:12
#12
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
On my RSS Live Bookmark, in firefox. At a quick glance, I read "Big Willy Size Matters"...

Stating the obvious, EG, come on!
Waldo
22/03/08 @ 14:14
#13
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
It's an Ellie review, so I automatically knew it was going to score 4 or less as soon as I saw her name.
convercide
22/03/08 @ 14:26
#14
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
To be fair guys, Destroy All Humans was never funny and the gameplay was dull.
JetSetWilly
22/03/08 @ 14:40
#15
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Vaginal elasticity would have made much more sense in this than the Sight Training review.

It feels like these games are only reviewed so that Ellie can do her thing.
smelly
22/03/08 @ 16:33
#16
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
gawd.. this thread aint gonna be pretty is it?
kentmonkey
22/03/08 @ 16:40
#17
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
After reading that, I'm surprised it got a 3 to be honest.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 22/03/08 @ 16:40
Lim-Dul
22/03/08 @ 17:01
#18
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Ha, ha - one of the best reviews in recent times. It's SO full of venom. ^^
Loowis
22/03/08 @ 17:15
#19
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Im not suprised this game is a load of bull. The other two were childish crap.

Another addition to the crap Wii game pile.
smelly
22/03/08 @ 17:22
#20
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I just read the whole review..

3/10 seems a little high.. :-)

I'd love to know how they score between a 1/10 and a 3/10... As in .. What makes a game 1/10 and another 3/10?

beedyG
22/03/08 @ 17:51
#21
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Damn - I loved Destroy All Humans on the Xbox and was looking forward to more alien rampage fun (I can't seem myself buying a 360). Guess I shouldn't be too surprised though - this port didn't have quality written on it: no Wii joke in the title, not even big Wii-lly, there's no excuse for that kind of sloppiness.
captainrentboy
22/03/08 @ 18:27
#22
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Another corker to add to the ever growing catalogue of utter shite Wii games.
It's a shame sooo much crap is released on it, because the very few that are awesome are getting overlooked as they're hidden by tripe like this on the shelves.
Personally I can't wait for the next big hit from Popcorn games. Anubis rocked my world.
JediMasterMalik
22/03/08 @ 18:27
#23
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
If Ellie keeps reviewing bad games, does anyone fear that her perception of what a good game is be shifted? We may start seeing 9/10 reviews from her for games which are clearly 4s. ;)
TheRealBadabing
22/03/08 @ 18:30
#24
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I think Ellie is secretly aiming for the world record in reviewing shit games.
Muddtallica
22/03/08 @ 18:40
#25
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I know what people mean about the ever-increasing bile levels in Ellie's reviews. In the past, they used to just rib the games in a scathing yet detached manner; nowadays they seem to overflow with the undiluted venom of someone who has been personally wronged. I'm not complaining, per se, because it makes for some fantastic reading material, but I am starting to worry for Ms Gibson's sanity. EG, can't you give her a good game to review, just to pacify her troubles soul? At this rate, she's going to be embarking on a full-on killing spree within five pieces of shovelware's time.
Wyrm
22/03/08 @ 19:06
#26
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
@ JediMasterMalik: Well I can only assume that' the kinda thing that must have happened with Halo 3.
TexMurphy01
22/03/08 @ 19:20
#27
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
This review has amused me. Keep up the good work. It's nice to read a funny review once in a while. Nice to see one of Sir Glitter's chosen people getting a mention. They get so much bad press these days.
SirClive
22/03/08 @ 22:05
#28
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I was so close to buying this today. Close escape. Just hope Sega Superstar Tennis was the right choice instead.
Fyzzu
23/03/08 @ 02:12
#29
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one beginning to really worry about Ellie.
Steroyd
23/03/08 @ 08:53
#30
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
O_O

Is it wise to give Ellie a great game in this state!?

Ween her on average 5-7 games to calm her down and give her sanity back, then give her the very good games.
Singularity
23/03/08 @ 09:02
#31
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Awesome review, Ellie. (: ))
Freek
23/03/08 @ 10:21
#32
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
And how could they screw this up? I quite liked the PS2 version and you'd think the Wii would be able to handle the same level of detail.

Publisher: here's 50 dollars, 2 people and a 6 months time period, go make a sequal for Wii.

Dev: But it'll be shit! Be reasonable!

Publisher: Doesn't matter, it's for Wii, the consumer doesn't care, Nintendo doesn't care, they'll all buy into it. So just go make it already!

Dev: /cry
Kami
23/03/08 @ 11:47
#33
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
And I am also glad to see that I'm not the only one who worries about Ellie... Ellie sad make me cry *cries*
FaceOmeter
23/03/08 @ 12:03
#34
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
lol wii is kids gimmick rofl
hokuto_no_rob
23/03/08 @ 13:53
#35
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
If it's that bad, why only a 3 - just 2 points from being average?
smelly
23/03/08 @ 17:32
#36
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
>lol wii is kids gimmick rofl

CONGRATULATIONS!!

It took a whopping 34 posts before the first retarded fanboy trolling comment to arrive!

I bet you're dead proud.
abdallah
23/03/08 @ 18:43
#37
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Ellie, have my children.
Darth_Flibble
23/03/08 @ 19:40
#38
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
poor Ellie, seems always get the crap to review. Bit surprised they has not been a "going postal" scene in the EG building
Edited 2 times, most recently on 23/03/08 @ 23:11
Mindstorm
23/03/08 @ 19:46
#39
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
lol wii is kids gimmick rofl

CONGRATULATIONS!!

It took a whopping 34 posts before the first retarded fanboy trolling comment to arrive!

I bet you're dead proud.


CONGRATULATIONS!!

it took 37 posts before a retarted fanboy reply to a fanboy trolling comment to arrive!
Super_Zee
23/03/08 @ 19:50
#40
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
:)

Just... :)
clean515
23/03/08 @ 21:39
#41
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Eat my willy
MrsPacMan
24/03/08 @ 00:44
#42
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Ellie, If I wasn't a lezza I'd love you. Excellent review and thanx for reminding me of the 'my friend billy' rhyme, brill
Edited 1 times, most recently on 24/03/08 @ 00:47
mingster
24/03/08 @ 04:13
#43
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
umm... shouldn't that be if you was a lezza you'd love her?
mingster
24/03/08 @ 04:15
#44
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
btw smelly if you haven't worked it out yet ... calling people fanboys because they 'dis' your favourite console makes you a fanboy. So shut up.
Meho
24/03/08 @ 09:54
#45
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
"you must to use the nunchuk"

Good to see not only us non-native speakers make these kinds of mistkes.
dirigiblebill
24/03/08 @ 11:10
#46
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
Am I the only one here who doesn't have a hard-on for Ms. Gibson? Don't bring her into disrepute, you scoundrels!
bcolter
24/03/08 @ 14:31
#47
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
My Eyes.... It BURNS!
smelly
24/03/08 @ 16:28
#48
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
@Mindstorm: Sigh.. prick.
Transcendent
07/04/08 @ 19:52
#49
0
You buried this comment
Comment below viewing threshold
Show
I think this may be the worst review I've ever read. It doesn't say anything more than "this game is poop", which a 3/10 rating does just fine by itself.

But maybe it's not meant to be informative, maybe it's only meant to be funny? Well I have only one thing to say about that:

Ha ha ha.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 07/04/08 @ 20:53

Comments: 1-49 of 49 in total

Want to comment on this article? Log in, or register!

Advertisement

X View gallery