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Damnation Review

Xbox 360 PlayStation 3 Review by Dan Whitehead

19 May, 2009

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Contrary to popular opinion, we critics are not a pinch-faced brood of grinchy old killjoys, no longer able to recognise the simple notion of "fun" as we hungrily plot to eviscerate the next hapless game that crosses our path. Quite the opposite. When you spend much of your working life playing games, you can't help but look for the best in everything, trying to find that glimmer of worth to justify the investment of time and money each game demands of our shared audience.

It's not always easy.

Case in point: Damnation, a steampunk third-person shooter that has swaggered into town, kicked open the swinging doors of the saloon and making bold claims of revolutionising its genre with acrobatic "vertical" gameplay. It does nothing of the sort, of course, but unfortunately puffed-up PR promises are far from the worst sins committed here.

Our hero is Hamilton Rourke. He's a disgraced soldier turned rebel, trying to live down a disastrous defeat that left his men slaughtered. He's battling against the evil Prescott, figurehead of the dictatorial and technologically advanced New America, a crude "conquer the world" plot that he plans to bring about using an army of mechanical men. They look a lot like the robo-skeletons from The Terminator and, just in case you don't make the connection, the soundtrack shamelessly apes Brad Fiedel's iconic throbbing movie theme as well.

You're accompanied by a posse of frankly baffling characters, each of which is groaning under the weight of the sort of florid back-story that even Resident Evil would reject for being too convoluted and improbable. A fruity English professor with an evil cyborg daughter. A flamboyant, vengeful Spaniard. A feisty Native American squaw who, somewhat inevitably, uses blue glowing magic while struggling to contain her heaving norks in a tiny leather bikini top. All are on hand to clog up the interminable cut-scenes with mind-numbing melodrama and throw repetitive quips your way during gameplay.

Gameplay. I should probably bite the bullet and tackle that thorny issue.

'Damnation' Screenshot 1

Damnation takes place in a world where people presumably have to go to the shops by scaling a three storey building before sliding down a zipwire.

Almost immediately, it becomes clear that Damnation isn't going to justify its mould-breaking hype. Far from turning the third-person shooter upside down, requiring gamers to master new ways of playing as they acrobatically make their way through the dizzying heights of the levels, there's absolutely nothing here that hasn't been done in hundreds of 3D platformers. A little game called Tomb Raider was built on the exact same foundations over a decade ago. You can hang from ledges, pull yourself up onto surfaces, slide down zipwires, clamber up ropes and perform wall-jumps to ping-pong up to out of reach areas. That you're carrying a gun while doing so hardly makes it a feature worthy of note.

It's not as if your arsenal is anything to write home about either, since every weapon feels pathetically ineffectual. Guns sputter and hiss, but there's no feeling that you're actually doing any real damage. Spray bullets in the right direction for long enough and enemies keel over, in woeful ragdoll fashion, but the game struggles to convey the sense of solidity, weight and mass that a shooter needs. This intangibility means that there's precious little immersion, and precious little engagement with the rote tasks the game demands of you.

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Comments: 1-50 of 60 in total | next 50 »

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gohda
19/05/09 @ 23:02
#1
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first
JayeM
19/05/09 @ 23:03
#2
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Oh no, I was hoping this would game of the year. Damn.
asphaltcowboy
19/05/09 @ 23:17
#3
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ouch. not even underboob can save it!
Slabbathepave
19/05/09 @ 23:23
#4
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Underboob can save anything.
coastal
19/05/09 @ 23:23
#5
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damn it. now i want to play a good steampunk game. can't think of anything beyond Bitmap Brothers' Chaos Engine
Triggerhappytel
19/05/09 @ 23:26
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Shame, I was hoping this might turn out good, but I found out earlier today that it was being released on Friday and alarm bells started ringing.

And so Codemasters' descent into utter mediocrity continues. I remember when they were one of the most consistent and dependable publishers.
El_MUERkO
19/05/09 @ 23:33
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3/10. Better than Darkfall!
paketep
20/05/09 @ 00:04
#8
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Damn, I had high hopes for this! :(
mkreku
20/05/09 @ 00:10
#9
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I don't want to buy it but that underboob is forcing my hand :(
Waldo
20/05/09 @ 01:12
#10
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No invasion of the talkback thread by outraged fans yet?

I'll check back later.
oxymoron
20/05/09 @ 01:30
#11
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whoah! colder than usual for this time of year....
penhalion
20/05/09 @ 01:40
#12
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I twigged at the lack of quality when this disappeared from the radar without anyone noticing. Oh well.
Chupakun
20/05/09 @ 01:52
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@coastal: Edge of Twilight looks somewhat decent. It's got a steampunk vibe to it.
Genji
20/05/09 @ 02:40
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The underboob makes a nice change from your usual topboob. Eventually, after much experimentation, I think games will be able to take it to the next level.... boob.
Royal Fool
20/05/09 @ 03:16
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I kinda suspected this game would end up being rather mediocre, but a 3 is quite low. Ouch.

For a game that might actually end up delivering on the "vertical combat" promise, see Dark Void.
Reihn
20/05/09 @ 03:40
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I really liked Mirror's Edge . . now I'm itching to play it again.
beckyh
20/05/09 @ 06:45
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Its a good job I cancelled my order for this (for other reasons) yesterday then. I shall put it on my list of games to rent.
Tonka
20/05/09 @ 06:47
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Anonther shit HD game.
Maykael
20/05/09 @ 06:48
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@Royal Fool

Yeah I felt the smell of mediocrity stinging from the videos, but never suspected it's this shite.Still no good current gen steampunk game for us. I do hope someone will do an RPG though.


And if Dan says the controls on the X360 are shoddy, I don't even want to know what goes on the PC.
Lummox
20/05/09 @ 07:01
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"the evil Prescott" XD

Did anyone else read this and have visions of a climactic boss battle against a certain suit-wearing fat bloke in a cowboy hat?
Olemak
20/05/09 @ 07:06
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Underboobage or not, I tire of this. Give me the review of InFamous now!
muscleblade
20/05/09 @ 07:19
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@Tonka

I think we have a Wii fanboy in the comments thread. Looking at the sad Wii library i dont understand why you even bother.
Metalfish
20/05/09 @ 07:26
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That is an astonishing garment she has there. A *ahem* closer look shows that the bizarrely bulbous appendages make her look like a post ops transexual. Real boobs aren't spherical.

The game? Ah, who cares. Nice review; informative.
designerheadache
20/05/09 @ 07:28
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As good as Eat Lead then...which is not very good at all...infact its terrible.
designerheadache
20/05/09 @ 07:29
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@coastal

demands the bitmap brothers pull their finger out and deliver a PSN/Live high res remake NOW!!!
Quint2020
20/05/09 @ 07:47
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Ouch, I think we all saw this coming.
beckyh
20/05/09 @ 07:47
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Eat Lead - I think I can safely say that was the worst game ever in the history of evers!
Chufty
20/05/09 @ 07:50
#28
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3 was a generous score after that review.
Byzanite
20/05/09 @ 08:16
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@Genji
Full boob did nothing for Funcom's Conan though.
ZuluHero
20/05/09 @ 08:35
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It must be doing some good though, funcom announcing profits from it and all. I was always watching Damnation with mild interest, no big loss for me that it turns out to be this 'bad' (if that is indeed the case - yes i'm looking at you EG ;)

You'll probably end up re-reviwing it by the end of today ;)
JayKwon
20/05/09 @ 09:17
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Wow, I sensed mediocrity from the videos, but this review lowers even those expectations. Too bad, I kinda liked the idea.

Nice underboob though. Not my style, but nice anyways.

Oh and gotta hate those ugly Unreal 3 engine explosions.

EDIT: Where are the angry fanboys?
Edited 1 times, most recently on 20/05/09 @ 10:18
DrowJones
20/05/09 @ 09:27
#32
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So EG thinks this game will have a lot more fans than Darkfall? Are you serial?
neonxaos
20/05/09 @ 09:32
#33
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Needs more frontboob.
spidermanalf
20/05/09 @ 09:32
#34
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Glad I am not the only fan of underboob!

One of the best parts of the boob*







*on a nice pair of firm boobs not saggy things!
dingo75
20/05/09 @ 09:37
#35
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Wow I had that on my watch list.
Sounds like something to avoid like the plague...

Wanna see some more reviews although usually at least to me EG is spot on.

Terminator seems to be shit as well so yeah really dry season for action gamer right now.
metalangel
20/05/09 @ 09:51
#36
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Jericho had decent sideboob. But frankly, that's just mad. Even if she doesn't move they'd just fall down out of the top in their own time. And Conan was great hack slash boob fun!
Gnort
20/05/09 @ 09:55
#37
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@fightman9d

I'm so sorry that the lack of AAA titles is causing havoc with your piracy schedule.

Also, did you just call the people who allow the games industry to continue to exist "sad cunts"?
Rodafowa
20/05/09 @ 09:58
#38
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"A flamboyant, vengeful Spaniard."

Is he left-handed?
jambo74
20/05/09 @ 10:11
#39
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Need Know Star RM Pic?
Darren
20/05/09 @ 10:15
#40
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I'm surprised that I've never even heard of this game until I saw the review. Still that means I'm not in the slightest bit disappointed at the review score. :)
Plewt
20/05/09 @ 10:19
#41
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The hat made it obvious this would be shit.
Gnort
20/05/09 @ 10:32
#42
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Anyone else notice that this review isn't on the front page anymore, it's only listed under the recent features list?

I'm sure conspiracy theorists can come up with something on that.
shotgun44
20/05/09 @ 11:08
#43
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I noticed it had gone missing from the front page so I went and searched for it. Bad reviews are so much more fun than good ones. The UFC review was a snore-fest. Informative as it may be.
Machetazo
20/05/09 @ 11:27
#44
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/wants to see another Darkwatch

If nothing else, the controls being essentially unfit for purpose, kills this stone dead.
geeza2020
20/05/09 @ 14:23
#45
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instant buy
muscleblade
20/05/09 @ 16:47
#46
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@Darren

You missed my argument with a couple of other posters about this game being better than Gears 2.
Farfarer and Doctor What dont have crystal balls thats for sure.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/damnat...

Edited 2 times, most recently on 20/05/09 @ 17:51
Reihn
20/05/09 @ 19:55
#47
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what a disappointment.

there's been no good games out for months, what the fuck is going on. i know its always quiet this time of year, but this has been the worst post xmas game release schedule ever.

fucking joke. and all ive got pencilled in to download over the next month or so is tiger woods and virtua tennis - both just fucking updates.

still, at least the sad cunts that actually pay for games are saving some cash.


Surely hateful, profanity filled comments which attempt to glorify game piracy and call those who support game developers 'sad cunts' will get you banned . . . right, EG mods??

I mean, if not this then what??
Reihn
20/05/09 @ 20:03
#48
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@ Byzanite

Conan on the 360 is a great fun! It's a solid brawler, with very satisfying combat and loads of boobs and gore. Plus it had Ron Perlman and Claudia Black supplying suitably gruff and acerbic b-movie vocals.

It's one of the few games this gen I've played through multiple times. : )
Royal Fool
21/05/09 @ 01:24
#49
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Well, okay then. It's your time you're wasting, so feel free to sign up as many times as you like. In the meantime, ignored!

Keep fighting the good fight!
Edited 1 times, most recently on 21/05/09 @ 02:25
NegativeZero
21/05/09 @ 02:44
#50
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Well that's disappointing. Not unexpected, but disappointing.

Comments: 1-50 of 60 in total | next 50 »

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