Brunswick Pro Bowling Review

By Ellie Gibson Published 21 October, 2007

Amateur.

Version tested: Wii

Let's get the inevitable comparison out of the way. Brunswick Pro Bowling for the Wii is a bit like the bowling game in Wii Sports, in that it's a bowling game for the Wii. It's not as good though.

Actually Brunswick Pro Bowling is more like Rockstar Table Tennis, at least in theory. It's meant to be a realistic sports sim which is easy to pick up and play, but offers more depth for longer term players. It's not as good though.

In fact, it's not even as good as an evening in AMF Lewisham, although you're less likely to leave with athlete's foot. Or stab wounds. Or the autograph of someone you saw on Jeremy Kyle. The point is, it's not very good.

The problems begin with the visuals. This may be a Wii game but that's no excuse for all the jaggedy edges, terrible reflections, poorly animated characters and balls which seem to float rather than roll down the lanes.

There are 10 environments, all based on real bowling alleys. None of them are based on AMF Lewisham. They look pretty much the same, i.e. badly rendered and uninteresting.

The game's Career mode lets you customise your character choosing gender, hairstyle, body shape and the like. The options are pretty limited. You can't just use your Mii, because this is supposed to be a realistic-looking game. It's a shame the characters look about as realistic as that sculpture of Lionel Richie the blind girl made.

Mo' money, mo' hats

'Brunswick Pro Bowling' Screenshot 1

Hi, my name is Jeff. I like pina coladas, long walks in the rain and suits made of skin.

In Career mode, you can participate in bowling tournaments over the course of a year. Wins earn you cash to buy extra stuff such as balls and clothing (all officially licensed by Brunswick) and boost your reputation. You also get experience points which you can use to build up your arm strength, accuracy, stamina and hook control. Again, in theory.

Career mode is no fun for two reasons. Firstly, to play through all the tournaments would take an actual year, or at least would feel like that. This is because you have to watch every bowl your opponent makes with no option to skip. It's all made extra-tedious thanks to the super-slow animations.

Secondly, the bowling mechanic just doesn't work properly. It's a two-stage process which begins with aiming. A white line appears on the lane, and you select which direction it's pointing in using the Wii remote. This determines the path the ball will follow. Which seems a bit odd - shouldn't your arm do that?

Next you need to throw the ball. Holding B you bring the remote up to your chest, then swing and let go. Then you stand still and watch as the character on-screen throws the ball down the lane very slowly, even though you've already finished your move. Then you watch as the ball rolls very slowly towards the pins.

Because your character doesn't perform moves at the same time as you it doesn't feel like you're in control. In fact, twisting the remote as you throw does have an effect, and you can hook the ball left or right down the alley. But it's hard to connect your moves with those on screen, and the results you get are not consistent.

Grease balls

'Brunswick Pro Bowling' Screenshot 2

A friend of Eurogamer recently went bowling, got drunk and woke up at home in his bowling shoes. True story.

Then there are oil patterns. We had no idea oil played such an important role in bowling, apart from that time someone got bottled with a litre of Mazola stolen from behind the kebab counter at AMF Lewisham. Apparently bowling lanes have different oil patterns, though, and they affect how balls roll. Plus patterns can change over the course of the game.

You can view the oil patterns in Brunswick Pro Bowling by pressing a button on the remote. In the early tournaments, you might see a simple purple rectangle appear on the lane surrounded by a green border. You will have no idea what this means. You will surmise it has something to do with how you should throw the ball, but you won't know how you're supposed to adjust your technique.

The manual's not much help: "Use [the patterns] as a guide to how you should prepare as well as what Brunswick bowling balls to use for that pattern." There's no information on preparation or which balls are best for what. There is some stuff about "forgiving patterns" being fine for straight shots while others require "specific hooks", but there's no explanation of how you perform these hooks.

Practice does make things easier, but it's a case of trial and error rather than working things out strategically. As a result, there's no sense of steady progress or achievement.

The multiplayer mode should be a main attraction of Brunswick Pro Bowling but the gameplay mechanics aren't any less shonky than in single-player, so it's not. Up to four people can play, taking it in turns to roll balls down lanes very slowly and try to care about oil patterns. There's a range of characters to choose from, all with their own stats, but they don't really seem to perform any differently. Multiplayer games quickly become a competition to see who's the best at working out what on earth you're supposed to do exactly. .

To summarise, Brunswick Pro Bowling is not very good. It's too complex for a party game; you try explaining the importance of ball choice and oil patterns to small children or drunk people. It's not rewarding or consistent enough to be a good sports sim, and it certainly doesn't look like one. Sorry Brunswick, but you can keep your officially licensed balls; we're off down the Wii Sports bowling alley. But only because AMF Lewisham's shut.

3 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Ellie.

About Ellie Gibson

Since joining Eurogamer in the mid 2000s, Ellie has written about subjects as diverse as the fall of Gizmondo, the rise of Hollyoaks actresses in Red Alert games and the noise a bear makes under NSFW circumstances.

Read more articles from Ellie by visiting the Ellie Gibson archive page.

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Comments (24) Latest comment 4 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Kryon #1 4 years ago

    3/10? Wii is teh shit innit lol.

  • deem #2 4 years ago

    Where as you are a penis.

  • DanWhitehead #3 4 years ago

    Oy vey, always with the Lewisham...

  • Master_Miller #4 4 years ago

    What is this AMS Lewisham Ellie speaks of?

    I DEMAND EDUCATION!
    Edited by 1 at 21/10/07 @ 11:48

  • Kryon #5 4 years ago

    "Where as you are a penis."

    Yes, a bit like your mum :)

  • kentmonkey #6 4 years ago

    Oh what a comeback, please come round and help me pick up my sides.

    EDIT: With all the hilarity I actually forgot to confirm how utterly crap this game is.

    /goes back to gathering sides
    Edited by 1 at 21/10/07 @ 14:50

  • Sid-Nice #7 4 years ago

    The same game is shit on the PS2 and PSP; I was so hoping that this game would be great, f*ck Mario Cadbury or whatever it is called I'm selling the Wii for a box. Not an Xbox 360; just a box any box something that I can put things in.
    Edited by 1 at 21/10/07 @ 15:48

  • J.C #8 4 years ago

    "Where as you are a penis."

    Yes, a bit like your mum :)

    Kryon that was the worst comeback ever!

    0/10 for effort. and that's being generous.

  • Alastair #9 4 years ago

    '..a bit like your mum!'

    Man, you surely are King of the Cusses!

  • symbiote #10 4 years ago

    Tell me the repeated "it's not very good" comments were an planned annoyance (much like the game, no doubt) and not an example of "not very good" journalism.

  • dk_rare #11 4 years ago

    Wii bowling and Wii Sports are the ultimate party game for teh drunk pizza nights after the footy.

    Nintendo are too good for that; You don't try to take on the king at his own game, Sony and Microsoft have already learned that lesson ;)

  • secombe #12 4 years ago

    FIFA 08, Table Tennis...Surely these were more deserving of a review?

  • p00ntang #13 4 years ago

    AMF is a bowling alley in Lewisham. I had a team there called teh "White Strikes". We were shite

  • Sid-Nice #14 4 years ago

    I read the review title and thought it said "Bumshit Poo Bowlsling."

  • grep #15 4 years ago

    Just walked past the AMF in Lewisham cool, working in the bomb proof building on servers all night ( this true Lewisham has a bomb proof building )

    Edit for spelling and posting after 3 12 hour night-shifts
    Edited by 1 at 22/10/07 @ 09:41

  • hula hoops #16 4 years ago

    3/10? ... as bad as playing real bowling I guess

  • strangeed #17 4 years ago

    Is that bomb proof by any chance?

  • Brogan #18 4 years ago

    nearly got mugged in lewisham once, lesson here is never think it's ok to kip on a bench in lewisham some 14 yo cunt will want your phone say his going to stab you then when you say no say his going to run off to his older brother and tell him you touched up

  • Kryon #19 4 years ago

    "Kryon that was the worst comeback ever!

    0/10 for effort. and that's being generous."

    Sorry but I didn't feel the comment "you are a penis" warranted a particularly witty reply. I guess to a pansy Wii fangirl "you are a penis" is a hardcore cuss deserving an equally hardcore reply like "you are a fanny"?

  • haowan #20 4 years ago

    anyone replying to kyron is a failure.

  • Kryon #21 4 years ago

    Erm, coming from a child so infatuated with Harry Potter that he's used a picture of him in his profile, your comment really doesn't cut so deep...Maybe you're just upset because your uncle Tobias entered your room last night and forced you to ride his 'Nimbus 2000' ?

  • Muddtallica #22 4 years ago

    Can someone please explain to me the financial logic behind releasing a vastly inferior copy of a game that everyone got given for free with the system you're developing for?

  • smelly #23 4 years ago

    "Can someone please explain to me the financial logic behind releasing a vastly inferior copy of a game that everyone got given for free with the system you're developing for?"


    Because mommy and daddy are out shopping for little johny's birthday present. They go into the game store. They know he likes his wii, and they know he enjoys playing on wii sports which was free. So therefor it stands to reason he'd like a full version of bowling. Mommy and Daddy dont read reviews.



    "FIFA 08, Table Tennis...Surely these were more deserving of a review?"


    FFS! What makes a title "deserving" of a review? Surely the whole point of a review is to let you know whether a game is worth buying or not - and this game apparently isnt.

    I've never understood the obsession with gamers about review scores.. but the obsession that reviewers should only review good games is equally sad IMHO

    .. Almost as sad as kryon's desperate cries for attention.

  • secombe #24 4 years ago

    FFS! What makes a title "deserving" of a review? Surely the whole point of a review is to let you know whether a game is worth buying or not - and this game apparently isnt.

    There already a few reviews knocking around for Brunswick, and they all say how bloody awful it is, and to be fair this was always going to be shite anyway. If any game screams 'review round-up' and worthy of only a paragraph or three it's exactly this type of game.

    FIFA and Table Tennis are those sort of borderline games that you consider buying once in a while if things are quiet, and neither of them have many reviews. FIFA in particular has been about a while now, has a unique control scheme (I assume) and has hardly got a mention anywhere.