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Long read: The beauty and drama of video games and their clouds

"It's a little bit hard to work out without knowing the altitude of that dragon..."

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Breath of Fire II on UK VC

And he's brought some friends!

Good news, Virtual Console f-- Sorry chaps, random battle. Dun dun dun. Whack. Cool. Sorry about that. I was just about to te-- How inconvenient! Another random battle! Let me just sort this out. Right. Well anyway, this week's Virtual Console update is headli-- Oh for the love of Mike! This week's-- STOP THAT. Thi-- Breath of Fire II! It's Breath of Fi-- Oh I give up.

Also on Virtual Console is Galaga '90, a 1989 (obviously) TurboGrafx-16 version of the classic arcade shoot-'em-up you'd have to be pretty desperate to still be playing, unless I'm missing something. Frequently the case with retro wotsits, mind you. Thirdly and finally, Virtual Console fans in Europe can download Volleyball for the NES.

Volleyball goes for 500 Wii points (GBP 3.75 / EUR 5.00), Galaga '90 will set you back 600 (GBP 4.50 / EUR 6.00) and - dare we risk it? - Capcom's turn-based RPG Breath of Fire II for SNES demands 800 of your Wii points. Which is GBP 6.00. Or EUR 8.00. Phew! That wasn't so bad in the e-- Right I'm playing something else.

Look out for our weekly Virtual Console Roundup if you're not sure whether you can be bothered to part with your Wii points.